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Bossy Moments Throughout History: O.J. Simpson.

At approximately 10:15 pm on the evening of June 12, 1994, Orenthal James Simpson drove his Bronco Blanco to 874 South Bundy in Brentwood,

BRENTWOO

where he murdered his ex-wife Nicole Simpson on a tree shrouded walkway by first delivering a blow to the head that knocked her unconscious so he could turn his attention to Nicole’s untimely friend Ronald Goldman who Orenthal cornered between a railing and a tree along the north fence rendering him unable to protect against the swift powerful knife slash that severed Goldman’s jugular vein, allowing Orenthal to return to the limp body of his ex-wife who he lifted by the hair so he could deliver the fatal slit to her throat – but not before losing his watch cap and one of his Aris Light gloves – then continuing on the walkway along the side of Nicole’s condo where Orenthal drops bits of his own blood when not leaving bloody shoe impressions from his pricey size 12 Bruno Maglis,

875BUNDY

and then climbing back into the Bronco Blanco leaving a dog to plaintively wail and inadvertently smearing traces of the victims’ blood on his dashboard and door handle before hastily parking along Rockingham Avenue and thumping the guest house wall inches from house guest Kato Kaelin’s head while discarding the other blood-soaked Aris Light glove and then continuing the blood drop trail – under the nose of a watchful limo driver – into his front foyer and up the stairs to his master bath.

ojhouse

Either that or he was in the shower.

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Comments

  2. If the gloves don’t fit (mainly because Orenthal isn’t even trying to fit them over the plastic gloves he’s already wearing), then you must be a head-up-your-ass idiot and acquit.

    Or something like that.

  4. The warehouse manager at my job has the initials OJ (not his choice, but yet he embraces it.) He drives a Bronco, the inside of which is a tribute to OJ the football player. We had a company meeting about whether we would sell the book or not (HarperCollins gladly made the decision for us) but when our OJ heard that the rest of us were calling the other OJ an immoral murderer, he got very offended. Did I mention that I do not get along with this person?

  5. Oddly, it is these sorts of heinous unpunished wrongs that make me believe that there is life after death. As surely as I live and breathe, we will be strung up by his nasty bits and made to pay the torturous sentence our justice system failed to assign.

  10. it’s truly a sick idea for a book — they say it will be tasteful and pay tribute to the victims, but it still doesn’t rest easy with me — but at least OJ will receive no money from it.

  11. ick. i can’t believe the book is being picked up again. that man has no shame. (well… obviously, i guess. but still!)

  15. “Shapiro said in a long-promised interview with ABC’s Barbara Walters, ‘not only did we play the race card, we dealt it from the bottom of the deck.'”

  16. Ah yes, I remember it well. I was a young newlywed that day. After work, I heard about the Bronco Blanco, changed into my bathing suit, and left my husband a note on the counter in our apartment that said, “OJ’s on the lam, meet me at the pool!” This ended up being my husbands favorite note EVER.

  17. I can’t believe that book is coming out. That asshole shouldn’t be free.

    I live about a mile away from that house. When people come into town they always want me to drive them by it. I won’t, I pretend I don’t know which one it is. It just bothers me to give him even that much satisfaction.

  18. seriously, is it any better that the Goldman family is releasing this as “Confessions of a Murderer” instead of OJ himself releasing it as “If I Did It”?

    either way it’s disgusting that any publisher is releasing this trash!

  19. Thank you BOSSY for explaining this to a wider audience. We’d always understood on this side of the Pond that OJ had been acquitted by a jury in a court of law, but now it appears that your judicial system is every bit as corrupt as our own. Who would have guessed it?

  20. He was in the shower.

    With my MOM.

    (Seriously, though… he tops the list as one of the world’s cockiest evil asshats.)

  21. Chris Rock had it right, if OJ wasn’t famous he’d be Orenthal the bus-driving murderer.

    I’m waiting for the tell-all book his kids write.

  23. This all happened in the week leading up to my BFF’s wedding. The night before, we returned from the rehersal party and sat around watching the low-speed chase.

    Sick fucker though, and I always wonder for his children. Putting the fun in dysfunctional…

  24. We have a corrupt legal system? Wait…we have a legal system? No kidding!
    Seriously, I agree with Chris Rock. One of the best quotes about that case EVAR.
    If these rich folks were common like the rest of us they’d be doing hard time in prison and have a new role as “girlfriend” to someone named Tiny…

  25. And for us, the worst thing is that that day is the day we were married. I try so hard to keep that horrible event from my mind when we celebrate our wedding anniversary each year.

  27. I remember precisely where I was when this story broke. Standing about the tube at work with a bunch of other idiots saying, “There’s no way OJ coulda done it.”

    He’s been making me regret those words ever since.

  28. I remember exactly where I was when the ruling came in.

    I was working a Prescriptive counter in the mall and smudged liquid eyeliner across a woman’s face when they said he got off.

    And then I stood there with my mouth wide open – in shock. And she didn’t even care b/c she was in shock too.

  30. As the (44 year old) mom of a 4 year old and a 1 year old, I loved reading this – I can’t imagine getting rid of binkies and pull-ups, much less driving my kid to see fabulous schools… you are intrepid!