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This Just In From The Desk Of Emily Litella — Seniors Having Even More Sex Than We Think!

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According to a study published yesterday in the New England Journal of Medicine, many Seniors routinely engage in vaginal intercourse, oral sex, and masturbation.

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Out of 3,005 Seniors who participated in the study, 25% said they had sex as often as two times a month.

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“Hopefully, this opens the door for conversation,” said lead study author Dr. Stacy Tessler Lindau.

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Opens the door for conversation? Well Bossy should think so. What’s all this talk about Senior sex? Don’t you Seniors have a college essay to write? Don’t you have a Habitat For Humanity house to build? Bossy has her eye on you, Seniors. She better not catch you using these.

What? What’s that you say? It’s not those kind of Seniors? Oh. Never mind.

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Read The Actual Study Here Which Bossy Finds Way More Depressing.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. I can’t believe masturbation was linked up with sex. My God! Not that!

    I also can’t believe I’m typing the word masturbation before my second cup of coffee.

  3. Probably the numbers for senior (high school) sex are even higher. Which is why I’m encouraging my daughters to drop out. There’s too much sex going on in study hall. 😉

    Also? Yeah, LOTS of sex things going on in Grandma Who Hates Me’s retirement “village.” Not Grandma of course, because that might force me to blind myself, but definitely her sister and her sister’s friends. The ratio of women to men is what? 43:1? There’s a lot of pressure to put out if they want to snag the healthy ones.

  5. I have to wonder what they consider to be a senior exactly. Especially since Hugh Hefner probably counts in it.

    I’ve been saying it for years — now that the Baby Boomers are coming of age they are going to open Happy Times Bath Houses instead of nursing homes. They’ll go there, get their freak on and at 2 and 5 PM, the bong hits begin.

    Just sayin’…

  6. My 72 year old father called me at the crack of dawn to tell me about the article in the Times and to ask me to chase down the NEJM study…I asked him if he needed it for personal or professional reasons.

  7. My favorite part of the article was this clever statement:

    “From a societal perspective, I would say that old people are young people later in life,” said Dr. Stacy Tesler Lindau

    Old people are YOUNG PEOPLE??? I’m SO CONFUSED…

  10. My mom has told me stories for years about my 90+ year old great aunt raging at the old age home. Lots of boyfriends. Caused quite the stir. This is old news to me (though it still manages to give me the willies).

  11. To funny, you have stirred up many images this morning! You have also made me feel better about getting a little older, you know something to look forward too 🙂

  13. Hey there. I don’t remember where I saw your blog first, but the name caught my eye so I’ve been lurking for a bit.

    And now I just have to say… I hate you.

    I hate anyone who is naturally funnier than me. I like to be funny, but I’m not good at it and I have to work at it. People like you suck!

    But I’ll be back. Because you’re funny. 🙂

  16. i can’t remember which blog i read it on, but there was a discussion about whether or not women give better oral sex as they age, and it was pointed out that when you get to the grandma level, there might be.. uh… less… teeth. to get in the way.

  19. They spent at least an hour on the talk radio show today talking about this..and had CALLERS..people 60+ talking about how much they get it on and one woman said that she found herself a guy that was 20 years younger just for sex..she didn’t want to be married..she was almost 70.
    I’m fine with this cause someday I’ll be 70..I just don’t like the visions of old people I know doin the nasty….
    eeeewwwww

  20. Hi there! I love your blog, and read it every day during my lunch hour!
    > Well, today, I nearly choked on my Lean Cuisine, and not just because
    > today’s option is less than tasty. Your blog on the sexual activity of
    > senior citizens!
    >
    >> I work for Planned Parenthood Chicago Area, and Stacy is one of our
    > board members. Senior citizens are an underserved population, and
    > partly because as a society we believe them to not be sexual, they are
    > often ignored. In addition, due to lingering stereotypes about sex and
    > sexual health, they are less likely to use protection and are thus
    > highly vulnerable to STDs and HIV/AIDs. In fact, senior citizens are one of the fastet growing new populations with HIV/AIDS.

    Anyway, I know you weren’t
    > slamming Stacy, but just as an FYI, Patricia Heaton, the wife from
    > Everybody Loves Raymond (do they really? B/c I think he’s lame!) is
    > the spokesperson for Feminists for Life (isn’t that an oxymoron?).
    > http://www.feministsforlife.com
    >
    >
    >
    > I just thought it was ironic that a champion for reproductive rights
    > and healthy sexuality be compared to looking like the very
    > anti-choice, anti-sex Patricia Heaton. Patricia, as you may have
    > noticed, also does commercials with Albertson’s, which is conservative
    > and actually pulled Seventeen magazine from its shelves b/c it
    > contained an article on vaginal health. God forbid, we can’t have young
    > women knowing how to take care of their vaj jay jays or knowing what it actually looks like!
    > http://www.plannedparenthood.org/news-articles-press/politics-policy-i
    > ssues/albertsons-censors-10380.htm
    >
    >
    > At any rate, I enjoy reading your blog, but had to respond!

  21. Honestly, the part of that which is worst for me is the masturbation. Why? I don’t know. Only now I will go to visit my grandmother in the nursing home and have to cringe away from all the old people, and all their hands reaching out to touch my son’s cute little head, because the hands! Where have they been? Well, Bossy has let everyone know where they’ve been. Thanks.

  28. I read the article this morning…It reminded me of this movie we had to watch about sex for my psych class in university where we watched an older couple (in their 60s) get it on…*sigh*
    I wonder if anyone is teaching them about STIs and protection!

  30. Alice have already mentioned it: oral sex probably correlates directly with the lack of teeth in old age. LOL!!

    It’s scary to think that grandmas and grandpas have sex, though I suppose I shouldn’t discriminate that way. It’s different with Hugh Hefner cos he’s probably bonking it with younger girls. But old and old? Argh? Don’t they fall asleep in the middle of giving oral sex? Do they forget halfway through it whether they are suppose to push in or pull out? Will they remember what they are supposed to do? Athritis: who goes on top? Omg…what about doggie? Do they doggie? OH MY GAWD! GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD!! GEDIDOUTGEDIDOUT!

    Therefore, in order to upheld the sexual honour of younger generation, I have taken it upon myself to have more…ehem…”activities” than the seniors. Bear in mind I am [gleefully] sacrificing myself for all that we call young. Worship me.

  31. The highest growing AIDS rate is in senior citizens population.

    See: HIV and the Older Adult – A Growing Population
    http://aids.about.com/cs/aidsfactsheets/a/seniors.htm

    So, they’re board. How many bingo games can you play before you start thinking nasty thoughts?

    Intriguing, thoughts of denture less sex techniques. Still gives me the willies. Somehow I know I’m gonna get caught up in the middle of all that when I’m put out to pasture. Somebody shoot me before that happens.

  33. I was sitting in our hospital waiting room with my 85 year old grandmother when I asked her if she and my grandpa still had sex. Yeah, I’m nosey like that:o
    I had to repeat the question several times…she’s a little hard of hearing. The entire waiting room soon discovered that my grandparents hadn’t had sex in 5 years, because my grandpa couldn’t get it up:o
    Guess my grandparents are in the minority, and thank God, because I really don’t want the visual…

  34. I think seniors should be screwing as much as they want, but I certainly don’t need a study causing me to envision Myrtle and Edward Sr. engaging in a randy bout of 69’ing.

    Thanks, CNN.

  35. Alright kiddos….I’m 64 and Sat. night is date night. It just gets better and better. Ohh…and we like toys too!!

  36. I’m glad to hear the news about sex and seniors. ‘Cause there’s not a lot of that going on around here with the amazing seven-year-old who is the lightest sleeper in the world!

  37. Ew,

    but

    thank you sweet baby jesus I might still get some when I am 75!

    Also, I’m sorry, but those girls at the Playboy Mansion are definitely getting off on each other more than that wrinkly old Hef.