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Thirteen Things Bossy’s Kitchen Has In Common With Award-Winning Kitchen Design.

The following wet dream kitchen was featured in This Old House and has all the elements of Good Kitchen Design:

great-kitchen

  1. The Work Triangle is the geometry defined by the area between the sink, refrigerator, and stove. The most effective layouts for ease of maneuvering between these appliances is the U-shaped kitchen or the L-shaped kitchen:

    tiny

  2. To streamline activity in the kitchen, no traffic should pass through the Work Triangle:

    95

  3. When at all possible orient your kitchen facing east for morning light:

    east-ish

  4. Your kitchen should be within easy proximity to your car. Situate your kitchen near an attached garage to reduce the heavy burden of cases of wine groceries.

    All Bossy has to do to reach her car is go through this door!

    trail1

    And then this door:

    trail1

    And then down this path:

    swamp

    And then this path:

    hose

    And, zzzzzzzzz:

    car

  5. Allow enough clearance for your refrigerator door to open fully without any adjacent cabinetry interference:

    door-open

    silverware

  6. In addition the refrigerator needs 18-inches of counter to act as a staging area for refrigerated items:

    counter1

  7. The sink should be placed beneath a window for cursing your back porch natural light:

    sink-window

  8. Ideally the sink should have 36” of countertop on one side and 24” of countertop on the other side:

    measure

  9. The stove should always be placed on an exterior wall for safety and good ventilation:

    shared-wall

  10. Allow for all of your frequently used pots and pans to be stored in a convenient area between your sink and your cook top:

    pots

  11. Reserve the cabinet space above the stove for items that won’t be affected by the stove’s emanating heat:

    booze

  12. A pantry area is an effective way to store excess kitchen items and special occasion ware:

    basement

  13. Finally, poor cosmetic choices can be as distracting as bad kitchen design. Remember: God is in The Details:

    shelf-liner

P.S. for Bossy’s readers reader who is poised to argue that Bossy’s kitchen is in fact nice. Spit and glue, people:

chickenwire

Here’s A Really Beautiful Book About Small Space Design.

Read The Kitchen Design Tips Here.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. I dont have a window in my kitchen…..and WAY TOO Much traffic….Im always yelling at people to stay out of my kitchen, and my hubby says Im being controlling, glad to know it is an actual RULE To good kitchens not to have through traffic!! Im gonna print and paste that on my fridge!!

  2. I’d like to see them apply this “logic” to ANY apartment in NYC. Can’t do it. Needless to say, my new kitchen has not a single one of these elements.

    Maybe when I build my own house, I’ll look up these tips. You know, when pigs fly.

  3. I think your kitchen looks lovely and it’s a testament to you and your husband’s artistic whatever that the painted plywood and chicken wire work so well. I gutted the back half of my hizzy, including the kitchen, and remodeled it myself. It turned out great, but there are two points that need to be made just in case you’re considering something drastic:

    I wasn’t married when I did this. Had I been, I would now be divorced.

    Not having a kitchen for ~4 months is woe-tastic. Especially if you cook a lot as your primary method of eating.

    This a public service announcement.

  4. Thank you for sharing once again. I am truely impressed with what you can do with chicken wire and plywood, I would have never made the connection with kitchens. Glad you weren’t complaining about anything there.

  5. VUBOQ wants to win the lottery tomorrow so he can redo his very scary kitchen (with two stoves (one is not connected), neither of which work correctly; and gigantic fridge, which takes up half the kitchen; and pretty green asbestos floor tiles).

    Your vodka bottle looks suprisingly full … or is that some sort of camera trick?

  7. So funny. I will be starting a partial kitchen renovation soon. Mostly I have to undo all the “improvements” the previous homeowners made.

  8. at least bossy has awesome stainless steel applliances! i too have a stupid kitchen…i think it was built for a one armed midget or something…

  9. You’ve got style, Bossy. I love your kitchen.

    I’ve always wanted the “dream” kitchen. You know, the island and the copper pots hanging over it. The hardwood floors. Preferably a stone fireplace in one corner to make it all *cozy.* A simmering cinnamon concoction on the stove to make it smell homey.

    Not that I want to work in one, or cook in one, but I’ve always just wanted to be able *stare* at one, knowing it’s mine.

    Is that too much to ask?

    I loved the RIP comment by the wine bottles…

  10. dang. i live in this big ol’ new generic house out in the ‘burbs, and i think they actually followed every one of those rules when setting up the kitchen. which, incidentally, is a crazy awesome kitchen. so perhaps they know what they’re talking about, which i probably wouldn’t have believed otherwise.

  11. Chicken wire and painted plywood, plus a porch right off the kitchen? Sounds Early-American-Farmhouse-meets-Country to me. It’s en vogue!

    PS – there isn’t a speck of natural light in DG’s kitchen. Her stove is directly under the kids’ bedrooms, totally safe. And a bathroom right off the kitchen. Totally sanitary.

    PPS – I use my basement as a pantry/gadget storage area/laundry room/playroom, too.

  12. Haha.

    I was thinking, “Oh, these are great tips for when we redo our kitchen”, and then I read the one about easy access to the car. You mean, the car we only have street parking for because we live in an attached house with no rear access (rear access…heheh) and no driveway?

    Ya, sure.

  13. If I put chicken wire on my doors, I’d be left with arms that make me look like a “cutter”.

    I just learned about “fried coke” the other day. It scared the hell out of me.

  14. Is that a bottle of maple syrup in your liquor cupboard? Remind me to never have a mixed drink requiring simple syrup at your house.

  16. That’s DEFINITELY a long and perilous walk from the car with groceries. Too bad Bossy’s primary lugger of groceries will be off to college soon – better take advantage this year! (And then, the second he’s gone, knock out the wall between your stove and his room and build a new kitchen!)

  18. My dear, let’s have a toast, shall we…

    “To counter space!”

    I have a total of 2.5 feet of counter space. You look like you are in the same boat.

  23. You make me laugh, lady !

    I just got a job creating/selling wet dream kitchens. But I don’t know if I could overcome the obstacles YOUR house presents…

  27. Oh, Bossy is hilarious.
    My kitchen window and computer screen are now sullied from snorting coffee out the nose. It was the “ruh-roh” that did it.
    They needed cleaning anyway.

  28. Oh, Bossy is hilarious.
    My kitchen window and computer screen are now sullied from snorting coffee out the nose. It was the “ruh-roh” that did it.
    They needed cleaning anyway.

  31. http://www.idyllopuspress.com/meanwhile/?p=1550

    Our kind-of kitchen in our 100 year old apartment is at the above link. Looking at Evolving Revolver’s photos, I acquiesce that she appears to have less space than we do. Evolving Revolver does not, however, have huge fat Direct TV cords running all over her small kitchen as does ours (as of today). Plus, her kitchen looks like a kitchen, whereas I think ours was once a storage area. The landlord says years ago it may have once been a boiler room.

    I like the chicken wire on the cabinet doors.

  32. Ah yes… the joys of dreaming about organizing spaces.. Have you read “Not So Big House” by Sarah Susanka? It has fabulous ideas in it! Not that I’ve implemented any of them.

  33. hehehehehe

    I think you can fit one person + one bottle of wine in my kitchen. Sometimes at night I dream of dishwashers…..

    You funny, bossy.

  37. Meg loves seeing the world through Bossy’s eyes, with Bossy’s commentary. Meg, too, wishes she had Bossy as a neighbor!

    (Fried vodka???)

  39. I don’t know, it looks great to me. Mine has only two outlets. So, if one wants to make a blended drink, like a um smoothie..yeah smoothie…one has to unplug either the phone or the fridge. If you choose the phone, you then have to reprogram it, so sadly we almost always choose the fridge.

    Note to the wise, never eat any meat served at my house. Blended drinks are safe though. No friend Vodka for sure.

  41. How great could that “perfect” kitchen possibly be? It just doesn’t say Hilarious Blog Post. Personally, I see no humor in it, whatsoever. Your kitchen’s Work Amoeba, on the other hand, has incited quite a lot of smiling today–from complete strangers, no less!

  45. I think the chicken wire is fantastically creative. And Martha will latch on to it, paint it eggshell, and make another billion.

  46. An absolute riot! The people who write these things have no concept of real life.

    First time here… love the blog!

  47. “Basket o’ carbs” – snort. Looks a lot like my kitchen, except I don’t have the cool stainless steel. Can’t believe you didn’t mention the very convenient dishwasher next to the oven.

  48. Oooh, yeah. Obviously these tips are not meant for the city dweller. Car in garage, 5 flights down. Kitchen, living room, den, dining room and office all in the same room (gotta love loft living). Only one set of windows in my whole place … not over the sink. And the only thing close to a pantry where I can store “extras” is my fenced-in storage space in the basement (below the garage). One can dream, though. *sigh*

  49. That is a long way to go for groceries. Also what if you were in the fridge and wanted to taste something. You would have to close the door, open the silverware drawer, get a fork, close it, then open the fridge again and sample whatever you wanted. That’s a lot of work.

  50. Oh my GAWD, woman! You are hilarious. Glad to see you know how to drink good Tequila too (you’re gonna need it with THAT kitchen). Mmm. Maybe you should do some more deep fat frying, close to those errant paper towel shelf liners and whoosh! Maybe THEN you’ll get your dream kitchen from State Farm. Time to put on them fritters, girl!

  53. 🙁
    I want a new kitchen..I feel the pain..mine is actually a little “larger” but has less counter space and storage..

  56. Girrrlllll you and I have the same problem. Our kitchen is 12×12 but that’s raw space. Put a bunch of appliances and we’re looking at probably a 9×9, if that, space. So I feel your pain.

    The entire house is that way. I got a major bruise on my hip from walking between the bedpost and the armoire that can barely fit a vacuum.

    On top of it, mix a whole bunch of 1985 original rugs and shit-ass doors and bad paint jobs. Oh and the bathroom that has Asian plagues that translate to “tranquility”, “happiness”, and “love”. Because I wish everyone that when they’re taking a big dump in there.

  59. I have a galley kitchen, shaped like an, uh, I. Ergo, no uber efficient triangulations for Moi. But hurrah at least for the over-the-stove licker cabinet. Without it, my head just might clear long enough to give in to the temptation to spend 5.5 bazillion dollars on a remodel.

  60. oh bossy. i adore you. and your chicken coop.

    you really should be less critical. how many people can say they have PAINTED PLYWOOD FLOORS???

  61. Bossy’s kitchen is nicer than mine. I have no counter space next to the fridge for the staging of cold items, so I have to use the floor.

  63. Well Bossy, it was only a matter of time before this post attracted the attention of an honest to goodness kitchen designer. And here I am.
    1. Yes your kitchen is TINY…nooo doubt about that. Not the smallest I’ve ever dealt with though.
    2. In spite of the hilarious I95 graphic NO traffic crosses your work triangle (fridge to range to sink).
    3. Great morning light…just indirect.
    4. Suggest a new garage (detached) at the Home Depot hose area (it IS a very long walk). Is there any way to put an entrance on that side of the house? Perhaps you should consider swapping the kitchen and dining room??? Or put the door to the yard from the porch off to the right side and attach the garage there.
    5. Strongly suggest next refrigerator be a bottom freezer, left hinged, model that is counter depth (You’ll never lose anything in the back again). Also a full depth cabinet over the fridge, with an enclosing panel on the right side, will relocate the “basket of carbs”, double the storage, and also keep the side of the fridge clean. You will also almost never have to move it to clean behind.
    6. (see #5)Also a smaller fridge would give you the counter and storage you really REALLY need here.
    7. OR you could build an addition to replace the porch and put the whole kitchen back there! WITH an attached garage. NOW we’re cookin’!
    8. Ruh-roh
    9. MOVE THE KITCHEN get great ventilation! AND a bigger dining room!
    10. (see #9)
    11. Looks like the makin’s for a martini up there. I’m sure you need one every night while you try to create great meals in this HELL HOLE!
    12. Thank goodness for the beach.
    13. Don’t give up Bossy! There’s help available! And, as bad as business IS right now, I may even come cheap!
    Tag. I’m going to add this entire post to my blog Kitschy Kitchens. It’s just too great not to share.

    http://kitschykitchens.blogspot.com/2007/08/bossys-kitchen.html

    Peggy

  64. my f*cking sink is 90 years old and hangs on the wall and no it’s not romantic. I think your kitchen is luxurious not to mention pretty. I love the chicken wire and the painted plywood floor. It’s all in the eye of the beholder.

  65. I think you’re kitchen looks great! We didn’t have a single drawer in our kitchen for the first 5 years that we were married. Not even a silverware drawer. I’m sure the kitchen experts would be horrified by that. Also, by the silverware sorter that we had to keep on our counter since there was no where else to put it.

  70. Yes, we’re well familiar with “The Useless Area,” which is why many NYC types keep books in their stoves and simply call for delivery.

  76. just to counter the “your kitchen is lovely” comments (lovely though they are).

    your kitchen? silk purse. sow’s ear. needs bob villa.

    (but somehow you have made an awesome work of art of it, functionally challenging though it is *as a kitchen*)

    i enjoy you bossy. immensely!

  77. Wait, I95 passes through your kitchen? Didn’t they sing that “w00t! There It Is!” song in the mid 90’s? That’s kinda scary. You should get rid of them, they’re probably mooching off you.

  79. You are freaking hilarious! My friend Lori Shapiro (blog is Spinning Yellow) met you at BlogHer. She said you remind her of your’s truly. I love how you write/blog-veyr witty!

  83. I can’t believe this is my first visit. I officially suck.

    Was wondering what you used to paint the floor(high gloss??). I’ve been living in the nightmare that is hubby’s remodelling for the last 2+ years, and I’ve had a plywood floor for as long. I need to do something with it before it causes me to check into a psych ward.