This is the Bedtime Story soundtrack:
Once upon a time Bossy was born a poor black child. She walked up a hill to school, and up a steeper hill home. Through a blizzard. In the heat. With no shoes, which were too tight. Then one day Bossy didn’t know she was nominated for the Weblog Award for Funniest Blog—and she didn’t know she was a finalist until the other finalists had left her approximately one two three a million votes behind—which is OK because Bossy’s friend Bobo promises to maybe vote once from his work computer if he remembers. Because readers reader? That is the way Bossy spells success. Sort of like this: Cesssssuck.
Meanwhile over at the Weblog Awards site, it’s totally The Tortoise and the Hare:
Except in this version of the fable Bossy the tortoise stays on the sofa all day watching the Intervention marathon on A&E while the hair is caught in the tortoise’s Oreck.
Tricia says
November 5, 2007 at 9:14 amDUDE! I acccidently voted for someone else, but it was the technology, I swear! Not me!
I’ll try to do better next time, but if I don’t, it’ll be just like Gore and Florida AND then that other site I accidentally voted for will declare Jihad on North Korea and Iran and we’ll all be screwed!
Damn it all!
Cindy Z says
November 5, 2007 at 9:26 amJust voted!
All Adither says
November 5, 2007 at 9:27 amI voted. I’ll do it again. At least you’re not last.
Momo Fali says
November 5, 2007 at 9:36 amI’m voting every day. You can do it Bossy!
The Mom Bomb says
November 5, 2007 at 9:52 amI voted, and I’m making my children vote, even though they can’t read. Or operate Internet Explorer. Plus, my husband has family connections in the Russian Mob – could that be of help? I’m also totally open to bribes.
MamaMo says
November 5, 2007 at 10:06 amI don’t care what Weblog Awards says – Bossy is WAY funnier than those top two – I couldn’t even make it through their first entries without dozing off. Thank you for bringing such laughter to my mornings, and for having the courage to be funny without resorting to profanity and shallow humiliation of others. You can check out my tribute to you at my (baby) blog: http://mamamo.blogspot.com/
Thank you again!! And your “family tree”, what a gift – simply beautiful.
whit says
November 5, 2007 at 10:21 amIt’s rigged. Maybe voting is your special purpose.
blackbird says
November 5, 2007 at 10:22 amWhat Weblog Awards?
Am I nominated? NO.
I’ll vote anyway.
Junebug says
November 5, 2007 at 10:27 amI have always thought you were funny. I went to vote for you. That Sadly No I couldn’t understand.
MammaLoves says
November 5, 2007 at 10:29 amWhat? I voted. I voted.
Nilsa S. says
November 5, 2007 at 10:41 amNo way! I voted. More than once. Me thinks they’re discounting your votes. No matter what the outcome, I’ll still read you. Religiously. And abide by that order of protection to stay at least 100 feet away from you at all times. Though, as stated to the judge, I’m not a stalker. Really.
Nancy says
November 5, 2007 at 10:44 am=) I have been voting all along.
vuboq says
November 5, 2007 at 10:48 amOnce again, VUBOQ has been snubbed by these “Web Awards.” Someday, these WebPeople will come to their senses … probably, at the same time the MacArthur Genius People do.
Fortunately, I’m not bitter. Oh, wait, yes, I am. I still cast a vote for you. Will you be reminding us to do this every day?
Suebob says
November 5, 2007 at 10:53 amI looked at the one that is winning. I am funnier than that when I am discussing vacuuming lint out of my carpet. And Bossy is funnier just sitting there.
(I could vote at work AND at home. But that would be so, so wrong. *Snert*)
Avitable says
November 5, 2007 at 10:56 amYou and Crystal are the only two bloggers I know who have been nominated in any category. And of course, you’re both competing with each other.
Laura says
November 5, 2007 at 11:08 amYou are being robbed I say! I am voting every day for you bossy
joy says
November 5, 2007 at 11:13 amBossy is most definitely the funniest. A finalist, huh? NICE JOB!
Howard says
November 5, 2007 at 11:23 amGood luck. Last year friends of mine had a horrible time of it so I’m crossing my fingers that you receive no drama in this.
andrea_frets says
November 5, 2007 at 11:24 amI voted! Hurray Bossy!
shayera says
November 5, 2007 at 11:33 amI voted for Bossy. And because I can get to a whole bunch of computers, I voted for Bossy more than once a day.
I’m sneaky.
sue says
November 5, 2007 at 11:34 amIf (when) you win, will you send all us voters a prize from your basement?
mp says
November 5, 2007 at 11:35 amFor that catagory I only know you and crystal..who they hell are all those other vote stealers…and who are the idiots that are voting for them..you..crystal..there should be no other vote. People disgust me..crazy people voting for those people…
I vote once from work and once from home
wreckless says
November 5, 2007 at 11:38 amvery funny-I also liked the flax seed post
Fatty acid would make a good band name.
I am contemplating getting my wife an I am bossy shirt, but she might strangle me with it.
Oh, The Joys says
November 5, 2007 at 11:56 amI voted for you.
(And you will grin to know that I have a post in my drafts called, “I, Navin R. Johnson”)
I’m picking out a thermos for you.
joeinvegas says
November 5, 2007 at 11:57 amSorry B, we voted for you. But ..
OMSH says
November 5, 2007 at 12:35 pmI voted! I voted AGAIN.
David says
November 5, 2007 at 12:56 pmI’ll see if I can drum up support elsewhere.
Bobo says
November 5, 2007 at 12:58 pmThats not true. I voted 4 times already
Bobo
Mrs. Chicky says
November 5, 2007 at 1:18 pmFer chrissake, I voted for you. I puked in the voting booth but I still voted. Doesn’t that count for something?
redlegphi says
November 5, 2007 at 1:39 pmI will be honest. I did not vote for you, as I just found your site after going to the weblog award site to vote for somebody else (go Sadly, No!). So, while I won’t be voting for you, I will now be blessing your blog by reading it often. Lucky you!
Mr Farty says
November 5, 2007 at 1:58 pmI looked at that Sadly, No site.
Did I find it funny? Sadly, no.
Ohhh, I can vote for you at home AND at work! Cool.
jen says
November 5, 2007 at 2:00 pmi voted again and vow to keep doing so till Bossy is redeemed.
Power To The People.
Mrs. G. says
November 5, 2007 at 2:12 pmBut you’re the little bossy that could. Get out there and rattle the branches…power to the bossy. You are truly the funniest woman on the internets.
Moi says
November 5, 2007 at 2:23 pmDid you know if you alter your cookies and refresh your IP you may be able to vote more than once per 24 hours?
Just sayin’. Go Bossy!
Jen M says
November 5, 2007 at 2:57 pmYo – I’ll vote.
blue girl who is not a finalist...for anything says
November 5, 2007 at 3:01 pmWith that soundtrack playing, that is the saddest story I have ever read.
FIGHT THE POWER, BOSSY!
Those dudes over at Sadly, No! won’t even know what hit ’em.
Alice says
November 5, 2007 at 3:14 pmvoted! and dang, you’ve received over 200 votes since you posted this
Izzy says
November 5, 2007 at 3:20 pmI must be living under a rock. These things always sneak up on me, usually when they’re almost over. But hey! I voted for ya and I will do my bestest to go back every day and vote and vote and vote some more.
Crystal says
November 5, 2007 at 3:31 pmIs Bossy mad at Boobs? I left you a comment last night and it’s gone!
I voted for you and against that diabolical Boobs lady!
Crystal
BOSSY says
November 5, 2007 at 3:57 pmCrystal: Bossy mad at you? Never. It’s just that she deleted Sunday’s whole post and all the comments went with it. Besides, your boobs are too perky. Hey– who said that?
sassy says
November 5, 2007 at 3:59 pmDone. I just spammed my office colleagues to do it as well. Every 24 hours. It’s a shame they don’t speak enough English to realize that you’re funny for themselves.
Dr. Monkey says
November 5, 2007 at 5:41 pmI voted twice, now where’s my patronage?
Lori says
November 5, 2007 at 5:45 pmOf course I voted. And will continue to. And I have four computers, so they will all be voting.
Theresa Bakker says
November 5, 2007 at 6:38 pmYou do funny like I do sweat. Naturally and in excess. You bet your rootin’ tootin’ bossy self I will be voting for you. And reincarnating all my relatives to do the same.
Laurie Kendrick says
November 5, 2007 at 6:44 pmBossy’s site is very funny. It is smart funny.
I’m loosing so badly I should be wearing a Buffalo Bills jersey from the ’71 season.
I should put a Mondale for President in “84 bumper sticker on my car.
I am the Susan Lucci of the Weblog Awards.
So, every one nominated is beating the crap out of me. I’m barely on the ballot but you know what? At least there one genuinely funny blog that’s beating mine.
I Am Bossy.
And because of that, I Am Honored.
Good luck,
Laurie “Last Place” Kendrick
Amy Lawson says
November 5, 2007 at 6:49 pmHey Bossy! Thanks for the comment on my blog! I didn’t know that I was a finalist for a few days either. Don’t feel bad, I’m third to last!!!!
Laurie’s comment made me laugh!
I’ve got to admit, I voted for myself…hope you can forgive me!
Alli ~Mrs. Fussypants says
November 5, 2007 at 7:01 pmEven with my begging plea for votes- I am getting creamed in Best New Blog! I have to go link to this. It is Hi-Lar-ious.
“How could BOSSY not win, Cruel World?”
Some dude named “Jammie Wearing Fool” is killing me! Can you start some unflattering post about him, Oh Great Bossy?
Biddy says
November 5, 2007 at 7:13 pmbut BOSSY, you’re kicking 5 other blog butts!!!
you’ll always be number 1 in my eyes
deb says
November 5, 2007 at 7:31 pmIt may be the tortoise and the hare but you’re funny, the dude in the lead isn’t.
You always cheer me up and make me laugh and I got to meet you in the flesh in Chicago.
meleah rebeccah says
November 5, 2007 at 7:53 pmPersonally,I think it is ridiculous that you are not in FIRST place.
Secondly, I blogged and bragged and posted the link to your voting site in hopes of you winning.
Cuz.. I think you rock. (the casba) if not the blogosphere.
Criquette says
November 5, 2007 at 8:45 pmOk, I did my civic duty and voted again. Do you think it would help if you put the word “boobs” in your title? Or even better, blow job?
diesel says
November 5, 2007 at 9:42 pmI hate these damn awards. But I did vote for you. And I might do it again.
Crystal says
November 5, 2007 at 9:54 pmLaurie! Gah!
This one guy, in Oregon, he thinks I’m kind of funny.
And I’m nice. I save kittens and shit.
(but Bossy is wonderful and hysterical and makes rad videos and diagrams and whatnot. I will not be the tiniest bit upset when she kicks my butt)
Noelle says
November 5, 2007 at 10:17 pmThank you for being funny. May the internet grant you the praise you deserve. I will vote again tomorrow.
Fairly Odd Mother says
November 5, 2007 at 10:30 pmYou can still be funny after watching the Intervention Marathon? Now THAT takes some talent.
sher says
November 6, 2007 at 12:59 ami nearly pee myself when i read you. (and no, i’m not a depends candidate.) i’ll be delighted to vote.
supertiff says
November 6, 2007 at 2:24 ami’m voting everyday, too. and i’m also going to tell my 11 readers to vote for you.
you’ll definitely win now.
Deb (Missives From Suburbia) says
November 6, 2007 at 2:43 amWhat’s in it for me?
Okay, okay, I voted for you. But, really, what’s in it for me if I vote for you again tomorrow? I mean, I will and all, because I’m such a lemming (and I find you pretty darned hysterical). But I think I’m going to need some link love or something. Maybe a “I Am Bossy” bumper sticker. A warm thought or two.
Don’t feel bad if you don’t catch up. My dad once told me, “You’re still a winner, even if you’re a loser.” Thanks, Dad.
Velvet Verbosity says
November 6, 2007 at 8:27 amI voted for ya Bossy! You are way funnier than the current leader, but then I’m loyal like that.
SAHMmy Says says
November 6, 2007 at 9:28 am1. Add The Jerk to my letter to Santa. 2. Vote for Bossy.
Reggiemomma says
November 6, 2007 at 10:31 amWow not only are Weblog Awards corrupt, they don’t seem to understand what funny is either. Sadly No! is funny? Maybe it’s some sort of ironic statement to let a non-funny site win, although cruel to take away from actual funny sites like yours.
Hopefully we can stop the madness!
Moogie says
November 6, 2007 at 6:49 pmSo, because I am voting for you more than once (hey, this sounds like a presidential election!) does this mean I too am crooked like a rattler in a cactus patch? Just checking.
Velveteen Mind Megan says
November 7, 2007 at 8:04 amVoting like a mofo. Every day.
Mrs. Chicken says
November 7, 2007 at 9:10 amMrs. Chicken has carpel tunnel from voting for Bossy. Over. And. Over.
Phoenix says
November 7, 2007 at 8:27 pmThe Blizzard in the heat huh? Neat. I swear my dad tells that same story.
I hope you win, you completly deserve it.
Oswegan says
November 8, 2007 at 7:28 pmMaybe you should enter a contest for the bossiest blogger.
Maybe you’d have a better chance.
~Oswegan