For the past two months whenever Bossy would spy this Presidential candidate’s lawn sign, she’d think there was something vaguely familiar about the guy’s name. And then one day she realized it was this:
Oh what a different election it would be if RuPaul were on the ballot instead of Ron Paul. Which is why Bossy created the following game:
Can you match which facts belong to which Paul?
- He is a physician who earned his living by servicing Va-jay-jays.
- He is a musician who earned his living by not servicing Va-jay-jays.
- He is pro-life.
- He is Pro life.
- He shared a bed with his brothers.
- He shared a bed with his brothahs.
- He ran the 100-yard dash.
- He ran 100-yards and looked dashing.
- He is a drag queen.
- He is a drag.
- He has a love-one-another attitude.
- He has a love-one-another attitude. Unless you are black, gay, an immigrant, work for the Federal Reserve, support NATO, or the UN, or NAFTA, or gun control, or have had an abortion.
- He appeared in a B-52s video.
- He prefers his B52s when they target terrorists in Afghanistan.
- He participates in genderfuck style performances.
- He participates in clusterfuck style performances.
RuthWells saysNovember 30, 2007 at 10:40 am
Adorable Girlfriend saysNovember 30, 2007 at 10:52 am
Wouldn’t it be nice to have someone like RuPaul who actually includes all Americans and not just a select group of high rolling cobags?!!
Trish saysNovember 30, 2007 at 11:07 am
I’m glad I am not the only one who thinks of RuPaul whenever I hear Ron Paul.
Marie saysNovember 30, 2007 at 11:16 am
OMG Ron Paul is gay??? And RuPaul has guns??? Better go dig that bomb shelter out back.
joeinvegas saysNovember 30, 2007 at 11:18 am
Hmmm, you didn’t number the questions, and provide one of those upside down at the end of the list answer keys. How will we know what goes with what?
MontanaJen saysNovember 30, 2007 at 11:32 am
I think I love you.
Ron Paul is whackadoo.
RuPaul is whack.
(if, by whack, I mean very cool and neat-oh as one would say if one were born in the early-70’s and has yet to develop a grasp of the talk as the kids talk. if it means something else entirely, then RuPaul is just cool and neat-oh)
(done embarrassing myself now)
The Domestic Goddess saysNovember 30, 2007 at 11:32 am
Wow. I am totally stumped.
Moi saysNovember 30, 2007 at 11:33 am
You are a genius, woman.
Howard saysNovember 30, 2007 at 11:34 am
Finally! A candidate I can lip sync to!
zenmomma saysNovember 30, 2007 at 11:40 am
genderfuck vs. clusterfuck
I’m seeing a new campaign slogan!
Alice saysNovember 30, 2007 at 11:44 am
has anyone forwarded this to rupaul yet? maybe we can still get him on the ballot.
Queeny saysNovember 30, 2007 at 11:51 am
I shared a bed with his brothahs, too. Just kidding.
I love RuPaul, though his song several years back led to many taunts directed at me. (My real name was mentioned several times in that song “Supermodel”)
MinivanBohemian saysNovember 30, 2007 at 11:55 am
In high school, we were out partying in down town Atlanta. We saw Ru Paul (Star Booty, himself!) and ran over to get autographs. He cowered and begged us not to “beat him up”. (Later, when he got over his fear of us big, bad, punk-rock, poseur kids, Ru Paul was so cool and gave autographs.) Why can’t more politicians be like that? They just have no fear of their constituents.
Neither is probably very interested in the plight of the va-jay-jay. Sigh
soNOTcool saysNovember 30, 2007 at 11:56 am
Someone needs to create a word for what happens to me when one of your posts, such as this fine specimen, gives me that special feeling … bossygasm?
Liana saysNovember 30, 2007 at 11:56 am
You know, though, Ron Paul IS for legalized marijuana…
David saysNovember 30, 2007 at 12:00 pm
Be careful, the Ron Paul-ists might invade your blog any minute now.
andrea saysNovember 30, 2007 at 12:11 pm
I totally thought the same thing!!! At first I thought it was Rupaul and was VERY disappointed to learn he was not running under the republican ticket.
Strizz saysNovember 30, 2007 at 12:13 pm
I would love to see every candidate in blonde weave.
sue saysNovember 30, 2007 at 12:13 pm
RuPaul for President, what a great idea! Can we have the Lady Chablis for VP?
Dara saysNovember 30, 2007 at 12:20 pm
Woo-Hoo!!!! RuPaul for Prez!
He’s too pretty, Hil will eat him for breakfast.
Or, they can exchange style tips.
Yay!! For va-jay-jays, real and faux.
qt saysNovember 30, 2007 at 12:40 pm
Thank god Liana said it first…
superblondgirl saysNovember 30, 2007 at 12:42 pm
Oh, I wish RuPaul was running, I’d vote for her. Him? Her? I never know which to say.
meleah rebeccah saysNovember 30, 2007 at 12:50 pm
I would toad-ily vote for RU-PAUL
Miss Britt saysNovember 30, 2007 at 12:54 pm
ACTUALLY, this post was much more informative than some stuffy debate.
slouching mom saysNovember 30, 2007 at 1:14 pm
Oh, you. Always so clever!
Meghan saysNovember 30, 2007 at 1:17 pm
Nothing I could say would be as funny as this post.
Brando saysNovember 30, 2007 at 1:23 pm
Wait, their are Republicans who service va-jay-jays? I thought they were only interested in outies.
Dr. Monkey saysNovember 30, 2007 at 1:28 pm
We’re all winners when we play Bossy’s parlor games.
Ree saysNovember 30, 2007 at 1:31 pm
Every day I love Bossy more and more.
Mrs. G. saysNovember 30, 2007 at 1:32 pm
Ru Paul ’08…fun parlor game, Bossy. Ron could use some image boosters from Ru.
Noelle saysNovember 30, 2007 at 2:25 pm
Get your government out of my home! Unless you want to make a choice about your reproductive rights! In that case, more government!
I wish RuPaul would run, and I’m so glad that I’m not the only one that thinks of her when I see Ron Paul signs.
PunditMom saysNovember 30, 2007 at 2:25 pm
I love when Bossy does politics!
mr.lootiatto saysNovember 30, 2007 at 2:32 pm
while I naturally gravitate to rupaul, I instinctively piss on the RonPaul sign across the street from me.
Surcie saysNovember 30, 2007 at 2:48 pm
You’re officially my favorite political commentatorarian person.
Natalie saysNovember 30, 2007 at 3:08 pm
And here I thought I was the only one who giggles a little everytime I see those signs. I could never quite get myself to “Google Ron Paul” like the signs along the freeway told me to. But I’m a rebel like that.
annie saysNovember 30, 2007 at 3:23 pm
I totally thought of Ru Paul when I heard that name. Also, we have a local flaming hairdesser called Ron Paul. I’d vote for him. (By “him” I mean, the hairdresser. Or Ru Paul.)
Liz saysNovember 30, 2007 at 3:36 pm
RuPaul most certainly has my vote.
I heart photoshop! I heart Bossy!
LawyerMama saysNovember 30, 2007 at 3:43 pm
Bossy, once I again I see why I love your twisted mind.
Mr Farty saysNovember 30, 2007 at 3:44 pm
You mean that weird-looking dude is a MAN?
The old guy next to RuPaul, I mean.
180/360 saysNovember 30, 2007 at 3:56 pm
That is so funny! I haven’t thought of Ru Paul in years.
Nilsa S. saysNovember 30, 2007 at 3:58 pm
This is the best ever, Bossy. Thank you for making my Friday … and for giving me reason to email lots of friends and family! 🙂
Laurie Foolery saysNovember 30, 2007 at 4:09 pm
Still getting over the fact that they’re not one and the same. This is what happens when you don’t tune in to debates.
I am having a hard time imagining Ru Paul dealing successfully with fundamentalist Muslim countries, however. I’m silly that way. (Thanks for the hearty laughs, Bossy)
motherofbun saysNovember 30, 2007 at 4:10 pm
I wish I could live in your brain sometimes Bossy. It seems to be a very fun place to be. 🙂
Wayne saysNovember 30, 2007 at 4:44 pm
What is RuPaul’s stance on the FairTax? Cuz it really comes down to that I think.
flutter saysNovember 30, 2007 at 7:33 pm
Ron Paul better work it girl…no, wait…
Tracy saysNovember 30, 2007 at 8:48 pm
maggie saysNovember 30, 2007 at 9:05 pm
Damn. Who should I vote for?
Prof. J. saysNovember 30, 2007 at 10:08 pm
Dang, girl! I do love your blog.
Ruth Dynamite saysNovember 30, 2007 at 10:52 pm
I’d SO vote for RuPaul.
FENICLE saysNovember 30, 2007 at 11:30 pm
I saw some crazies out the day after Thanksgiving at a busy mall intersection holding signs with his name. It was the first I’d heard of him.
ellen saysDecember 1, 2007 at 10:37 am
well, as usual, pure unadulterated genius, Bossy. lookin’ forward to your next political commentary. when is salon.com going to hire you? when? they are missin’ out big time.
Betty Cracker saysDecember 1, 2007 at 12:03 pm
Once I was at the municipal aquarium with my mother. When she read on a plaque that grouper can change their sex to achieve gender balance in their environment, she said, “Hmmm. Mrs. RuPaul’s fish sticks!” Mom is almost as cool as Bossy.
AntiBarbie saysDecember 1, 2007 at 2:58 pm
I’ve always think of Ru Paul every time I see Ron Paul’s name. I am so glad I am not alone!
Shellster saysDecember 1, 2007 at 9:35 pm
You GO Bossy! Sheeee-iiiiittt! That was damned funny. You know, if Ru Paul were really running, I think I’d finally be interested in politics. I mean come ON. He can out dress Hilary any day of the week, as she’s a much bigger dyke than Ru (and I like Hilary). Sigh. Sadly, we’re stuck with what we got, but thanks for the time in fantasy land. You rule, Bossy-pooh!
mothergoosemouse saysDecember 1, 2007 at 11:28 pm
Ru Paul would make the debates (both Rep and Dem) so much livelier…
mom101 saysDecember 1, 2007 at 11:53 pm
Loving Bossy right now.
Now I’m just waiting for you to do Cheney v Charo.
Jason saysDecember 2, 2007 at 12:11 am
Ditto, ditto, ditto.
jenB saysDecember 2, 2007 at 12:29 am
You are genius Mrs. BOSSY!
Lydia saysDecember 2, 2007 at 2:08 pm
Viva Glam IV: Red White and Blue for your lips! Gah!
Diane saysDecember 2, 2007 at 6:30 pm
I am laughing so hard it is difficult to formulate my political position.
I have been seeing the signs for Ron Paul but had no idea who he was. I’m happy to find out that he is a drag (as opposed to being a drag queen which would at least make him more interesting).
erin saysDecember 3, 2007 at 4:08 am
I’d vote for anyone who looks great in pink!
thefeistyone saysDecember 3, 2007 at 1:17 pm
disagree…love ron paul…
RcktMan saysDecember 3, 2007 at 8:46 pm
Bossy, you are killing me. Hysterical stuff. RuPAUL FOR PRESIDENT!!!! I’m all for it!!!!
the new girl saysDecember 4, 2007 at 8:44 pm
A drag queen.
You’re the BEST, Bossy.
Demian Neidetcher saysDecember 4, 2007 at 10:25 pm
This is the kind of drive-by commentary where the author has no responsibility to know the facts or have any depth about what they’re talking about.
– wants to legalize marijuana and other narcotics acknowledging that the war on drugs is a failure
– wants to free non-violent drug offenders from prison
– thinks the government should stay out of the gay marriage issue (it’s a contract between consenting adults)
– voted against the patriot act (the thing that has shredded your liberties)
– voted against the war in Iraq (the thing that is maiming a generation of volunteers)
– thinks homosexuals shouldn’t be discharged from the military based on their orientation
– supports a non-interventionist foreign policy
Sure, it’s funny to note the similarity in the name. I chuckled when he first came on my radar.
After that, I would encourage you to actually look into where he stands on the issues and don’t take this amusing but factually incorrect blog post as your marching orders for an incredibly important election. There’s too much at stake.
Rachel saysDecember 5, 2007 at 10:00 am
devra renner saysDecember 7, 2007 at 11:46 pm
There are no words to express my gratitude. I now know I am not the only person who visualizes “RuPaul” whenever the name Ron Paul comes up in anyone’s conversation. I’ve been harboring this secret for a few months.
I also wonder if Ron Paul wins the primary, would he be willing to ask RuPaul to run with him? Paul Paul 08!
thefeistyone saysDecember 9, 2007 at 3:18 pm
thank you the new girl! my thoughts EXACTLY
lildb saysDecember 12, 2007 at 1:19 am
that about sums it up for me.
Jamie saysDecember 12, 2007 at 3:51 pm
OMG this is too too funny. That’s really all I can say. TOO FUNNY. I will never look at Ron Paul without seeing flashes of pink feather boa.