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Bossy’s Excellent Update. The Oy What Has She Done? Edition.

Many thanks to all of you who signed up to be a stop on Bossy’s Excellent Road Trip. Bossy spent the majority of the weekend entering her potential stops on the Excellent Road Trip map—and the following are just a few of the exciting things she learned while typing ridiculous names like Tennessee and Georgia Massachusetts:

  • Tennessee has lots of Ns and Ss and Es. In fact Bossy feels a little drunk when she types all the duplicate letters in Tennessee. Of course that’s because Bossy is a little drunk.

  • Massachusetts. Massachusetts starts out fine, with the double S shaping the Mass and all, but then things go terribly wrong. Because clearly the ending should be –settes. With an E. Because that’s the way Bossy always types it and it’s only fair. And it’s more symmetrical.

  • There is no ‘S’ in Michigan.

  • There is no ‘Y’ in Illinois. Ois-vay.

  • There is an extraneous C buried right in the center of Connecticut.

  • There is no ‘W’ in Arkansaw Arkansas.

While combing through your many emails and comments, Bossy managed to stumble upon a few Frequently Asked Road Trip Questions:

  1. Are you crazy?

  2. Are you crazy with a side of crazy and a whipped cream topping of Crazy?

  3. Will you be traveling with your Great Dane?

  4. Will you be traveling with your Quarter Horse Great Dane?

Here are the answers to the Frequently Asked Road Trip Questions:

  1. Of course Bossy is not crazy! If she were crazy, do you really think she’d be driving back and forth across the country when gas prices are over $3 a gallon in order to stay with perfect strangers? Oh, wait.

  2. And no, sad to say Bossy will not be traveling with her 140-pound projectile dog.

Lastly Bossy would like to address the concerns of her own mother, who enjoys pointing out that Bossy isn’t very good at geography and in fact doesn’t know her cities from her states or even countries.

That’s just not fair, mom. Because Bossy was only five back then. Things are different now, especially since she’ll be restricting her Road Trip to centralized states, such as Orlando.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Geography? While in a college geography class, the professor asked us to name the fifty states. I raised my hand and said, “New England”. After the class stopped laughing, I said, “What? They have a football team, so they MUST be a state!” Don’t feel bad.

    Reply

  2. You are nuts. Can’t wait to see the Bossy Road Trip line up. I’m in Central NC – think BBQ and the Woolworth’s sit-in. There is nothing else going on here. But if you’re on I-40 or I-85, swing by.

    Let your craziness begin. =)

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  3. You are nuts. Can’t wait to see the Bossy Road Trip line up. I’m in Central NC – think BBQ and the Woolworth’s sit-in. There is nothing else going on here. But if you’re on I-40 or I-85, swing by.

    Let your craziness begin. =)

    Reply

  4. for several years, i taught US Geography to exchange students. i was always getting the square states in the middle confused. Colorado? Kansas? Whatever.

    Reply

  5. Geography? Huh? I still think Lake Erie is south of the city. It just makes sense to me.

    And no giant dog? Darn. If you decided to make a stop in my fair city with her, I was hoping to say (as a mother to an Irish Wolfhound) to someone else:

    Do you put a saddle on that thing?

    Reply

  9. “Ois-Vay” that is PRICELESS. If it makes you feel any better I lived in Massafbuwgtrbwg for four years and 5 minutes from the border for almost 20 and I still can’t spell it! Connecticut is my least favorite state, but I like to spell it because it sounds like an arts and crafts supply when you sound it out.

    Have a fun trip!

    Reply

  10. How in the world is Bossy going to visit all her fans?! Maybe Bossy needs to pick a few major stops to have Bossy reunions! Let your fans come to you!

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  13. Oh well if you’re going to be saying TORONTO with Asseratgirl, then learn how to chant and spell Mississauga.. we’re right next door. 🙂

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  16. Hey Bossy, if you get lost, just start calling people. With the number of pushpins on your map, you won’t be more than five minutes from any of us. I thought New England was a state too, but that’s because I went to a Catholic grade school in the ’60’s, and there were only two locations we needed to know about: Heaven and Hell. I’m still hoping to be one of your stops, but it’s looking grim. It appears that the Great Lakes region has a Bossy fan base bigger than the population of China. Maybe I can wave to you as you speed past. But remember… as far as I can tell, I’m still the only one who’s offered to do your laundry.

    Reply

  17. My my, it looks like your trip turned into a multi-year excursion. If you ever get kicked out of the house (or just leave to get away from the madness(what madness, sounds like you are the craziest one there)) you could probably survive by traveling between places.

    Reply

  22. I love your entries. The way you write is so funny.

    But I totally understand where you’re coming from with the spelling of states. I spell almost all of these states wrong when I spell them. Especially silent letters, what they hell are those doing in words?

    Reply

  24. I’m not looking for your tour bus because I love being an “observer”.. but I want you to know I contributed to your tip jar.

    Just the thought of you panhandling in So CA gives me the heebeejeebeez…especially since Stella wont be there to shake people down.

    Reply

  26. May I suggest a tour bus with big fat graphics? THE BOSSY POSSE? Hmmm, too hip-hop-culture-gone-wrong. Maybe THE STRAIGHT BLOG EXPRESS? No, too nerdy. I’ll work on it and report back to you.

    Reply

  27. Foreign people I have met frequently pronounce Michigan as “Mitch-i-gan” rather than “Mish-i-gan.” I can see where they’re getting this from, but why do they never have the same problem with Chicago?

    Reply

  29. My pushpin is covered by two other pushpins and you can’t even see me unless you enlarge the map to the size of Ha-why-ee. Don’t forget me under all those tacks Bossy! I have wine!

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  32. Just be glad you are not traveling with my friend as your navigator–while a full-fledged adult, she for a long time believed that Alaska was right next to Hawaii because that’s the way it appears on a map in an inset.

    Reply

  33. I used to work with a girl who thought Chicago was a state.

    Oh, to be in her head for just 5 minutes – just for the sheer thrill of that much nothingness.

    She was really sweet though.

    Reply

  34. Get yersself a GARMIN NUVI 350 or 360, fer cryin’ out loud……! It won’t matter if you know yer states from yer cities….!!

    Reply

  38. Merkan geography? After reading the comments on the last post (“Pick AG! Pick AG.”) I spent half an hour looking for the state of “AG”. Sigh.

    btw, the state of Embra is just to the west of CA and straight on til morning. Come on over, y’all!

    Reply

  41. I, too, am in the state of Orlando. We call it, “Living under the nose of the Rat.”

    Maybe you could just let us know when you’re here? We could gather around and smile and stare at you while you stare back at us [hear crickets chirping in the background].

    We would all be waiting for you to do something bloggy, but you’d be blog-less, and then you’d write about it.

    Reply

  42. Wow, not a single host in South Dakota? Or Guatemala?

    Hawaii?

    Because I’d so ditch stateside if I had an offer of Hawaii.

    And leaving the dog?

    Wow, that looks like one busy road trip!

    Too much fun!

    Reply

  43. bossy’s room is ready for her… will stock up on vodka, cranberry, triple sec and limes…oh, maybe some food… we will even vaccuum up the dog hair (don’t wear black here, it is useless)… ehhehe… i hope we do get to meet you… the core spoke of you this weekend… we all had evil grins…

    Reply

  45. Bossy!!! You are amazing! I thought you were a cuuuuuuuuuckooooooo, when I read your plans for a road trip like this one!

    I thought how would you ever manage to sell this idea to your family when you have five places to visit at opposite ends of the continental U.S.?

    I spit my tea whenever that map came up on the screen showing pushpins crowding out other pushpins! You rock girl… and now you better be ready to roll! 🙂 Three cheeres for the Bossy babe!

    Reply

  46. ORLANDO? Did I hear you say ORLANDO?
    I know I told you the big giant dog was an iffy idea but I TOTALLY forgot to tell you it was ok to bring the kids!
    The other Orlandoians can help us pick a party location. Maybe right under the rat’s nose. Or over there with Shamu.

    Reply

  47. No way…I’m saying…NO WAY you can have a road trip without stopping and seeing the 4th largest state, the mountains, the streams, the crazy-assed Irish bars, the fishermen, the hounds of my home – Montana!

    I’m totally going to e-mail you with details. And pictures of my big dogs so you don’t miss your horse on the trip.

    Reply

  48. If you choose to visit, one of the seven natural wonders of the world..and my surgery goes well January 18 for ovarian cancer…I live 15 minutes from Niagara Falls…New York..

    Otherwise, have fun and enjoy life..you never know when it will be snatched away from you.

    My best,
    Dorothy from grammology
    remember to call gram
    http://grammology.com

    Reply

  52. I think Bossy needs a corporate sponsor. A corporate sponsor with deep pockets for Bossy to pilfer. Pioneer Woman seems to have connections with wii. Maybe you can get wii to sponsor you if you let them put a humongus add on your car. Then we can all stand curbside waving our numchucks as you whiz by.

    Reply

  53. hello bossy– I am a reader and fan. Although I am a bit jealous that you and my boyfriend John Cusack seem to spend so much time together.

    anywho– i am in Atlanta. And if you are missing your amazing pooch, feel free to stop by for some doggy lovin. I have one incredible 4 year old St. Bernard, 1 14 year old Coon Dog/ Shepherd, and 1 2 year old “Fraggle”– we are still finding out if his little body (50lbs) is dog or not. Oh yeah, and a cat. My house is a zoo.

    Reply

  54. I have lived in Massachusetts for (ack!) 30 years now. I still like to spell it Massachusettes because it look like the backup dancers for a 50’s girl group, a la the Ronettes. “And now, ladies and gentleman, I give you: Teddy Kennedy and the Massachusettes!”

    But I always spell Mississippi with the voice in my head saying “em-ah-crookit lettah-crookit lettah-ah-crookit lettah-crookit lettah-ah-HOMPback-HOMPback-ah”.

    Yes, apparently the voice in my head is that of some woman down the Bayou.

    Reply

  55. So if you go through St. Louis and head west on I-70, you’ll pass right through Kansas City on your way to Denver. Beer, barbeque, knitting…too much excitement for you?

    Reply

  57. If you’re struggling with spelling places with double letters, come to Australia sometime and check out Russell Crowe’s digs in Woolloomooloo. It is a cruel place to send a child to school.

    Reply

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