The other morning Bossy woke up disgusted. She was disgusted by how lousy she feels every morning due to no sleep and bad skin and tightening waistbands and tanking blood sugar. And Bossy began to think about Oprah and
Dr. Beefcake
And that’s when Bossy admitted she isn’t living Her Best Life. And so she marched over to her kitchen garbage can and she threw away her Nestlé Butterscotch Chips and her Trader Joe’s Premium White Chocolate:
Bossy only wishes she had her camera handy later that night when she fished both items back out of the garbage. Oh, yes way.
Annie says
February 9, 2008 at 10:47 amI nearly called out the white coat holders to come and take you in, to right your mind, to pump you full of drugs and make you realize that…
THROWING OUT CHOCOLATE IS ALL WRONG!!!!
Never give up the chocolate. Give up breathing, or sleeping, or something else.. like LIVING.. before you give up that chocolate.
It’s all a woman has some days.
Would have loved to have seen the photos of you fishing them back out though. 🙂
Hotdog says
February 9, 2008 at 10:59 amChoclate=Happiness. You should never throw it away!!
:o)
Hotdog says
February 9, 2008 at 11:00 am*chocolate* (sorry!)
FENICLE says
February 9, 2008 at 11:14 amI do a clean & purge at least once a year around here too!!!
Lisa V says
February 9, 2008 at 11:19 amDon’t believe those people on Oprah. If living your best life doesn’t include trader joe’s chocolate, then they are communists. Every one of ’em.
Grandma J says
February 9, 2008 at 11:20 amDispose, take back…dispose, take back.
I am soo an Indian Giver too. Just like Bossy.
Sister Honey Bunch says
February 9, 2008 at 11:23 amYou can’t just throw the stuff away. You have to either run water all over it and ruin or stuff it down the garbage disposal. Trust me.
qt says
February 9, 2008 at 11:24 amThe non-chocolate life is not worth living, bossy. Truly.
heart shaped hedges says
February 9, 2008 at 11:35 amBossy, dont throw away good chocolate!! Put it in a bag, and then bring it on your road trip to my house 🙂
and…dont be so won over by Oprah. She has her own chefs, trainers, gurus, etc. and she is still soft around the middle (let’s be honest, soft all over.) And there is nothing wrong with being soft….but, hardly the person to follow in regards to healthy living advice.
Junebug says
February 9, 2008 at 11:37 amOh guess what I did yesterday? I bought a bag of Dolly Madison powdered sugar donuts and ate them as I drove home. I kept looking in the mirror at my white lips. I love Miss Dolly. Shame on me!
operagal says
February 9, 2008 at 11:42 amNever give up the chocolate. Give up breathing, or sleeping, or something else.. like LIVING.. before you give up that chocolate.
It’s all a woman has some days.
so, so true!
amy says
February 9, 2008 at 11:46 ambeen there girl
xo
Lori at Spinning Yellow says
February 9, 2008 at 11:47 amI just eat it all instead and then figure tomorrow is another day … to go buy some more.
Susan says
February 9, 2008 at 11:49 amThank God!
Velma says
February 9, 2008 at 11:51 amI’m weak and worthless, too.
lora says
February 9, 2008 at 12:01 pmI threw out a bag of butterscotch chips exactly like that one on Thursday night because it was expired by about 10 months. First I grabbed a handful of stale chips because they are so good, no matter what age they are.
Three hours later I took another handful and put them back in the trash. The next morning I caught my husband eating them out of the trash.
What is it with those damned butterscotch chips?
Mojo says
February 9, 2008 at 12:13 pmDone it too! I wish the feeling that made me throw the choclate/tortilla chips/frosting/Oreos/whatever out lasted longer!!
corrie says
February 9, 2008 at 12:13 pmI haven’t been living my Best Life either… But..
How could ice cream with Kahlua over it be wrong?
Bellezza says
February 9, 2008 at 12:23 pmA girl after my own heart. Only, I wouldn’t have used the phrase “later that night” in retreiving those cherished items. Mine would be, “and only a few seconds after…”
Kathy says
February 9, 2008 at 12:24 pmI do that, too. I try to dump old coffee grinds or something over the top so I won’t fish it out the nest morning, but I then I just buy more at the store the next day.
Those miniature peanut butter cups are my weakness.
Kathy says
February 9, 2008 at 12:24 pmOops. Next morning, not nest.
Mir says
February 9, 2008 at 1:01 pmBossy is speaking my language.
Wendy says
February 9, 2008 at 1:05 pmYou can’t be too hasty in throwing away any Nestle anything.
Jenn @ Juggling Life says
February 9, 2008 at 1:07 pmWould it really be your best life without butterscotch chips?
All Adither says
February 9, 2008 at 1:10 pmMmm. I could go for a Zinger right about now.
Reese says
February 9, 2008 at 1:13 pmI’ve heard people that are “REALLY committed” to throwing out the goodies cover them in something disgusting after they throw them out. At my house there’s no going back after the chocolate chips have skunk poo on them…
Deana says
February 9, 2008 at 1:32 pmYesterday I threw away my chocolate covered expresso beana. I saw the Oprah show too and though I already live by the code pretty much I just haven’t really been taking the very best care of me lately. So like you I am determined to be healthy and happy. If it kills me.
islaygirl says
February 9, 2008 at 1:41 pmi was in HORROR at the thot of what you threw out, as those are two of my favorite food groups. i would have taken them back, too.
Chicky says
February 9, 2008 at 1:48 pmWhen I saw you were throwing out your chocolate I screamed,
“NOOOOOOOOOOO!”
For real. Out loud.
William says
February 9, 2008 at 2:04 pmSeriously trader joes white chocolate is healthy for you…I eman anything bought at trader joes or whole food automatically is healthy for you.
Laura says
February 9, 2008 at 2:04 pmThat’s awesome you are now posting on weekends! Bossy, you must do pilates-it is the best and you can eat whatever you want, drink and still look & feel your best. BTW, I love Trader Joe’s-wish we had one in Bucks County.
Adorable Girlfriend says
February 9, 2008 at 2:08 pmCome on, Bossy. We’ve all seen the Sex and the City episode of Miranda eating the chocolate cake out of the garbage. We all also have done it (or similar or WORSE), whether we admit it or not.
Mrs. G. says
February 9, 2008 at 2:32 pmDon’t be surprised if you see a blonde bespectacled woman rooting through your trash tonight….in a raccoon suit.
Suzy says
February 9, 2008 at 2:51 pmDude, thank God you remembered the 5 hour rule.
Surcie says
February 9, 2008 at 3:19 pmI feel ya.
Oh, I love that little Bob Greene. I even listen to him on XM radio. (Not that I do a single solitary thing he says.)
A Whole Lot of Nothing says
February 9, 2008 at 3:28 pmNo matter WHAT Dr. Oz says, do NOT throw out your chocolate. Ever.
Momo Fali says
February 9, 2008 at 3:49 pmWeekend posting? I think I love you.
mr.lootiatto says
February 9, 2008 at 3:52 pmboy…we’ve all been there, done that. Damn. I thought I was the only one raiding the trash.
Meg says
February 9, 2008 at 3:59 pmWhat? Bossy Costanza’ed the chocolate???
(Sorry, I don’t know how to put a cute little word to replace that huge hyperlink)
Meg says
February 9, 2008 at 4:01 pmApparently I don’t know how to paste a link either. I made the URL for my name, hopefully, the link to the YOuTube clip referred to above.
Meg says
February 9, 2008 at 4:02 pmCrap. I am retarded. For those who got the reference and want to watch the clip, go to Youtube and enter “George Eats Trash”. [sigh]
HRH says
February 9, 2008 at 4:58 pmAt least the rescue was successful…
Kelley says
February 9, 2008 at 5:37 pmRule 34 baby….. betcha there is p0rn about throwing out said chocolate, fishing it out of the garbage and then shoving it up your rectum.
Yes way.
I have lost my innocence. The damn internets have taken my innocence.
And babe, you must never throw away chocolate. Every time chocolate is wasted an angel gets PMS.
Swistle says
February 9, 2008 at 5:47 pmThis only makes me love you more.
motherbumper says
February 9, 2008 at 6:22 pmGarbage picking and dumpster diving are very underrated. Think of it as your contribution to saving the environment.
nottryingforaboy says
February 9, 2008 at 6:31 pmNext time you wake up feeling disgusted, you can alway send them here. I’ll even pay for shipping.
rusalina says
February 9, 2008 at 6:47 pmbossy must be telling the truth a bit twisted, right? she did not exactly eat that from the garbage….or did she?
we_be_toys says
February 9, 2008 at 6:49 pmI was going to say…What? Are you maaaad?
Whew…
I am so relieved that no chocolate chips (or even the butterscotch ones) were harmed in the making of this blog.
Busy Mom says
February 9, 2008 at 6:55 pmI was on the way to your house to get them back out.
C'tina says
February 9, 2008 at 7:56 pmWe’ve all been THERE. Not THERE as in digging thru Bossy’s trashcan….but I have thrown out hommade chocolate rum balls and thankfully had the good sense to retrieve them….can you imagine??? Damn those rumballs are goo-oood, I make mine with nilla wafers and cocoa, not chips… by the time I melt the chocolate chips i’ve drunk all the rum….so I beat the nilla wfers to crush them…better than beating the kids….dump everything in the cusinart..and eat it right out of the bowl attachment..watch you don’t cut your tounge on the blade….cause your tipsy from all those swigs of rum…..who’s all been THERE?!
Amy says
February 9, 2008 at 8:17 pmI read your blog everyday. I am delurking to say….
I would of fetched them out too!
MammaLoves says
February 9, 2008 at 9:01 pmAll of the sudden Mamma is battling acne–ON HER CHEEKS!!
Maybe if I were 20 years younger!!! WTF???
slouching mom says
February 9, 2008 at 9:06 pmi was going to write that i’d take that white chocolate off of your hands.
but i won’t go so far as to fetch it out of your stomach.
that, i won’t do.
dgm says
February 9, 2008 at 9:21 pmOne word: magnesium. Get it into your system regularly and the sugar cravings go bye-bye. Too much sugar starts to taste too sweet, and in a kind of disgusting way.
Manic Mommy says
February 9, 2008 at 9:31 pmSo very, very nice to find you here on a Saturday night. I miss Bossy on the weekends.
Don’t worry The Easter Bunny’s coming.
Suebob says
February 9, 2008 at 9:39 pmOh, Suebob would NEVER do something like that. It would be dark chocolate all the way. And Suebob would never melt choc chips together with coconut milk and lick it off a spoon…no, never
Say What? says
February 9, 2008 at 10:00 pmHow could ice cream with Kahlua over it be wrong?
If lovin’ this is wrong, then baby, I don’t wanna be right!
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
February 9, 2008 at 10:07 pmBossy’s Not Great Life is hilarious. And very, very great.
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
February 9, 2008 at 10:21 pmLet’s try again.
Bossy’s Not Best Life is hilarious. And very, very great.
Not the Queen says
February 9, 2008 at 10:41 pmShh! I totally would have done the same thing.
Cindy Z says
February 10, 2008 at 12:15 amHave done that very same thing on occasion!
Strizz says
February 10, 2008 at 12:23 amDude like we thought you were actually going to throw those away.
debbie says
February 10, 2008 at 2:15 amsigh* Are we purging all our secrets here? If I tell you does this mean it didn’t really happen? I actually threw some cake in the trash…threw coffee grounds on top….about 45 minutes later, I realized after scraping most of the coffee off the cake, that, damn…coffee and cake DO go good together.
stephanie (bad mom) says
February 10, 2008 at 2:45 amOh thank God. My blood pressure rose just reading the words “she threw away her…” AGGHH.
I, too, am having crummy sleep & skin times but somehow the chocolate still makes it all better…
Jen says
February 10, 2008 at 10:44 amI’m right there with you–can’t remember the last time I set foot in a gym. I think it may have been pre-W.
I’ve learned the hard way that I have to put things down the garbage disposal if I really want them gone. Desperation? It is a stinky cologne.
Sister Sassy says
February 10, 2008 at 11:15 amThat is why you have to flush it or put it down the disposal. you can’t fish that out.
Sister Sassy says
February 10, 2008 at 11:15 amThat is why you have to flush it or put it down the disposal. you can’t fish that out.
The Domestic Goddess says
February 10, 2008 at 1:03 pmDamn straight you got it out of the trash! YOU DON’T THROW AWAY ANYTHING FROM TJ’S!!!!
Amanda says
February 10, 2008 at 1:57 pmMm-hmmm, I knew these foul number two diapers had a purpose, I defy you to wrap something you wish to be rid of in them and b e able to fish it out later. Matter of fact, maybe I should start performing all change sin the kitchen, that’d kick start the Best life shift.
Christine says
February 10, 2008 at 6:01 pmAm I supposed to be living My Best Life? That’s why I don’t ever watch Oprah. I don’t want to know what I’m doing wrong with my life. Ignorance is bliss. More wine!
Tootsie Farklepants says
February 10, 2008 at 7:24 pmBossy was supposed to sabotage the snacks so that they cannot be fished out. Silly Bossy.
the mama bird diaries says
February 10, 2008 at 10:14 pmoh yes. Have done it.
Good thing about new york city, you can throw it down the trash shute.
I mean there is no way I’m going down 6 flights into the trash compactor for my chocolate.
Right? I mean I really wouldn’t. I hope.
Leaf, probably... says
February 10, 2008 at 10:47 pmActually you probably didn’t want the camera there for the fishing out…
Avitable says
February 10, 2008 at 11:26 pmI wish we had a Trader Joe’s around here. I miss it so much!
David says
February 11, 2008 at 11:03 amHi,
Y chromosome here. Um, I’ve had an untouched half-bag of Hershey’s kisses that I’d used for some baking sitting in my cupboard since December.
Hat’s off, ladies. I don’t think I could survive one week as a woman.
heels says
February 11, 2008 at 12:37 pmIf you hadn’t, I would have. I have no shame when it comes to white chocolate.
What am I saying? I have no shame.
Foolery says
February 11, 2008 at 12:59 pmIt figures — the ONE weekend when I don’t check in with Bossy in a hopeful and pathetic stalkerish way, she actually BLOGS.
And if there’s a best life that’s actually better than one that includes heart attack snacks, I’ve yet to imagine it.
MamaMo says
February 11, 2008 at 3:58 pmBossy is a beautiful, laughing, caring woman with an amazing family and a strong love for life and appreciation of simple beauty — what could possibly be “not Best” about that?
VDog says
February 12, 2008 at 12:24 pmAt least it was on *top* of the trash? Right? RIGHT??
erin says
February 19, 2008 at 4:01 amI’ve been known to fish chocolate out of the garbage…but don’t tell anyone;)
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