JOIN BOSSY'S OLD SCHOOL BLOG ROLL!

i am bossy

How To Cook Like A High School Senior.

teenage-cook

First of all Bossy apologizes for not posting yesterday. She’s been having a few issues with her computer—no biggie, it’s just that she can’t open emails. Or send emails. Or access Google Maps. Or open Microsoft Word. Or save documents. Or go online.

Lucky thing Bossy isn’t planning a multi-city Road Trip, because that would just be bad timing. Instead red-faced Bossy screamed and cried and then fell asleep in her car seat. Things are much better today.

Which brings us to our tutorial: How To Cook Like A High School Senior. You see, Bossy’s husband recently celebrated a birthday, where celebrated equals being yelled at for his mess of paperwork, followed by fisticuffs regarding his heaps of junk.

You’ve heard of the State of the Union? In Bossy’s house they regularly hold forth about The State of the Basement. But this post isn’t about Compulsive Hoarding and how Oprah’s experts say it’s covering a darker emotional need—and just why would you think it was?

No, this post is about Bossy’s Husband’s birthday. In Bossy’s house, the family doesn’t make a big production about exchanging presents. Which is just another way of saying Dear Lord Are They Ever Going To Increase The Minimum Wage? Instead Bossy’s family expresses their gratitude for each other and their tangle of crusty belongings in other meaningful ways.

Which is how it came to be that Bossy’s son volunteered to prepare the birthday supper. First he situated the boneless chicken breasts:

chicken-breast

After pounding them flat with a meat tenderizer can of mushroom soup, he dredged the chicken in flour:

flour-dredge

Next he dunks the chicken in an egg mixture followed by a dip in bread crumbs. Then he puts the chicken in a pan for sautéing:

frying-chicken

With the chicken batches sautéed and warming in the oven, Bossy’s son begins his sauce. He adds white wine and lemon juice to the pan drippings:

lemons

After finishing his sauce with a pat of butter, Bossy’s son turns his attention to the side dish. He drains boiled potatoes and then mixes them together with butter, milk, and fresh chives:

potatoes

With everything complete, Bossy’s son plates the food. Which everyone knows is not the same thing as putting food on plates:

plating

And then it was time for the final step of the preparation. The Touchdown Dance:

touchdown-dance

Reader Interactions

Comments

  3. In my household, the touchdown dance occurs earlier in the whole dinner preparation process, usually after I announce that I’ve burned it and we’re eating out.

    Reply

  6. The only thing I can get my teenage daughter to make is ramen noodles and Capn Crunch with milk. She will need to marry someone like Bossy’s son in order to survive.

    Reply

  7. Bossy’s big fan would like to know how to raise her son just like Bossy’s son. Bossy’s big fan’s son is eight right now…could you give her some tips on how to navigate the next 10 years? Bossy’s big fan LOVES Bossy & Bossy’s children 🙂 (husband, too, but Bossy didn’t parent him)

    Reply

  9. He’s cute, smart, musical, a good big brother, holds a job, can cook AND is straight? Young women of the world, hide your hearts, you are in grave danger.

    Reply

  10. Bossy’s son looks like a terrific chef. Love the slippers and shorts (kinda like Mario Batali with the orange clogs and shorts!). I feel for you regarding the basement. Ours is stuffed with five cars and the heaps of junk it takes to keep them running. UGH!!

    Reply

  11. I second and third and forth the comment on what a cutie pie bossy’s son is (I have one too. With a smile just like that that melts a person’s heart!). And Bossy and her husband should be commended for their good job. It is probably nice to know when the boy goes off to school he will actually be able to take care of himself. But let’s don’t marry him off too soon….of course we would all love to hear about Bossy’s grandchildren!!!!! Yikes!

    Reply

  13. Bossy’s son could spend his summer renting himself out as a foster son to parents who haven’t done as well in the raising department–a leased balm for the parents, and a model for the rebellious kids of their own. Kind of like Super Nanny, but cuter. And with lemons. Supper Nanny. They would cry when he left for Columbia, but he would send cards.

    Reply

  15. I’m just wondering how Reader Peg got 5 CARS into her basement! In Kansas we get to the basement through a little trap door–from the inside of the house if we’re lucky.

    Reply

  16. I would like my daughter to marry Bossy’s son as we are big on other people cooking our food… could you do your best to keep him single for the next 25 years?

    Reply

  17. I know this may not please Mama Bossy to hear, and may come off as a bit disturbing because he is 10 years my junior, but DAMN. Baby Boy Bossy cooks! In his slippers! He is going to make some Bossy Daughter-in-Law very happy someday.

    Reply

  20. This comment totally taking a dip in the shallow end of the pool: If I was 20 years younger… oh who am I fooling, he’s way too cool – even for the previously 18 year old motherbumper.

    You raised yourself a good one Bossy.

    Reply

  22. Bossy’s son is a trouper taking one for the team and being the main event for today’s post!

    Looks to me he gallantly takes it on and fills his Dad’s tummy with love for his birthday!

    Congrats to the Birthday Boy and three cheers for “better than more junk” concept for celebrating birthdays!

    Reply

  28. Bossy is very lucky indeed to have such a great son (and daughter too) and better yet, they are very lucky to have such parents that have raised them in such a respectful way. Kudos!

    Reply

  30. He is too adorable. And he cooks! Ya know, I have a beautiful (rilly rilly be-u-t-ful) daughter who is 18…

    Hum…tiny pretty Bossys. (In like, 7-8 years of course)

    Reply

  35. I love the sly, “I know you’re taking my picture mo-om” smiles in the photos. Thank goodness for men who cook. For without them, I would starve.

    Reply

  38. On behalf of mothers of uncooperative, argumentative, can’t-open-cans-of-soup by themselves adolescents everywhere, I would like to thank you for providing a teeny-tiny ray of light at the end of the tunnel, which hopefully is not a train…

    (But seriously, you paid him, right?)

    SK

    Reply

  40. Uh, I don’t think most high school seniors cook this way. Try: throws four half-rotten steaks on a too-cool grill, fries some broccoli until it is mush and then serves freezer-burned vanilla ice cream for dessert.

    Reply

  41. I misread and thought he dredged the kitchen in flour, but of course, that was chicken. Much tastier. Happy Birthday to Mr. Bossy man.

    Reply

  43. Lucky Bossy Mom!
    I’m with some of the previous moms of young boys who would like some tips or mentoring… mine is 8 almost 9.. He can make a salad! And operate a toaster…
    Also, sorry to hear you have one of those junk magnet husbands, too… we live on a ranch.. too many buildings to pile crap in. And, believe me.. we got lots of junk!

    Reply

  44. My 39-year-old husband couldn’t make that meal on a bet. Your future daughter-in-law is going to *worship* you for training him so well.

    Does he pick up his own socks?

    Reply

  45. Bossy’s Son is so cute! Speaking of cooking, how’d you get him to turn out all congenial-looking? Mine is 9 and has already got a simmering crabbiness going on.

    Also: compulsive hoarding is BAD? But…what else would I do with all my preshuss, preshuss STUFF?

    Reply

  46. Methinks Bossy’s son and my son would get along well. Have Bossy Boy check out Sam the Cooking Guy’s website–it is Big Red’s favorite recipe source–few ingredients and always delish.

    Current teen job here is Jamba Juice–so lots of concocting of new smoothie recipes in the Magic Bullet. The Pomegranate Iced Tea smoothie way the bomb!

    Reply

  48. That just might be the cutest thing I’ve ever seen! (But don’t tell Bossy’s son that… he might blush!)

    Reply

  51. ……..and he cooks too! I am now declaring myself Bossy’s son’s future mother-in-law. Has a nice ring to it,don’t ya’ think?!

    Reply

  55. It is so great that he cooks! My husband can barely heat up food. I am teaching my 7 year old son to cook, maybe one day he’ll be able to throw together fabulous food as well.

    Reply

  56. I heard that after he was done cooking he entertained the family with his mad drumming skillz.

    I just made that up, but I’m sure it’s true.

    Reply

  57. ohh and for the commentors who were wondering how to get their kids to cook, my trick is NO TV Tuesday’s. My son always wants to help me cook when he is banned from watching TV. And he loves to do it.

    Reply

  60. I noticed he didn’t lay the raw chicken on the wooden cutting board,,,I can see the wax paper,,,,good job !!

    Reply

  62. Adorable, smart, musical, and he cooks? Is Bossy’s handsome brilliant and talented son available to marry Margalit’s beautiful daughter?

    Reply

  65. Ahhhh! Your email isnt working, is that why you have not claimed your PRIZE? It’s a Starbucks card Bossy, and me thinks you might need some java on your long drives through remote places.

    So, the boy can cook, has a job, and gets early acceptance to Columbia! He’s a prize!!!

    Reply

  69. His mother (whoever she is, because you are obviously too youthful to be the mother of a high school senior) must have raised him right well!

    Reply

  71. He is a darn good cook! His future wife is so going to be happy that you took the time out to cook!!
    My kids to the victory dance only when Daddy cooks for them. I do it when daddy cooks too:)

    Reply

  72. My husband always cooked. At an early age. He loves to cook. And look, he got ME!! So bossy’s son is traveling down a path with VERY good karma.

    I do have a daughter who would be about right for bossy’s son. In 10 years.

    Reply

  80. hmmm – I guess I can honestly say that I wont ever complain about Bossy’s son being featured in a post. Ever.

    Reply

  81. Kelley’s 16 year old daughter thinks Bossy’s son is HAWT. But Kelley’s daughter is in love with Ree the Hotfessional’s son Shortman too.

    Oh thank GOD I am no longer a teen.

    Reply

  85. Nicely done Son of Bossy! Meat mallet? We don’t need no stinkin’ meat mallet! Lemon juice – the whole lemon will do! (back in a former life I was a restaurant chef with a culinary degree)

    One thing I did notice, no veg? Or was a perfectly dressed salad the accompaniament?

    Reply

  86. OH
    MY
    GOSH

    just found you via cranky and am cracking up on all levels.

    must go back and see if you tell us more about your son but DA** I can only hope my now 2 year old will be as….willing to participate in my chickenbus as your son is!

    MizFit

    Reply

  87. So…once young Mr. Bossy’s Son goes to college, that means a room will be available….hmmmm…are you open to the “homestay” idea? My son could come and you could whip young Mr. K into shape…think about it!!! We could start a whole new business here once you get back from your “vacation”….thousands of mothers wanting their sons to be like yours…think about it!!!!!! 😀

    Reply

  88. Bossy has a trained teenager? How do you do that? I have two in desperate need of training. P.S. Tell him I like his slippers.

    Reply

  89. i love the dance at the end! love it. i also love the fact that he is willing to let you take pictures of him. i figure he is probably used to it by now! what a guy!

    Reply

  90. He’s going to burn his finger if he keeps it in the pan like that.

    Come on, seriously!

    Hey, I just looked again and it’s still there! Get his finger out of there!

    Reply

  92. Once TLB reads this, my goose is cooked. Meaning I’m going to have to learn how to cook goose and everything else I don’t know how to make.

    But this post isn’t about Compulsive Hoarding and how Oprah’s experts say it’s covering a darker emotional need—and just why would you think it was?

    It’s stuff like this that makes your blog the funniest one on the Web.

    Reply

  93. I’m a tad disturbed because my first thought was …. dang, Baby Boy Bossy is a hottie! I’m not usually prone to going all cougar like that…
    But he is adorable. And he cooks. Good thing my Husband is and does too. Otherwise, Bossy might have to beat an old lady to death with something from her basement to defend her baby boy’s honor… 😉

    Reply

  97. O.K. Tell that cutie to wait a few years, because my 14 1/2 (she told me to put the 1/2 in there) year old daughter is in love. Glad you captured that on film…

    Reply

  98. wow. you are christian and bossy.i know church peeps that would say they don’t go together. how do you get away with it?

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *