Bossy doesn’t actually have a 76-year-old brother named Raul. Fidel Castro does. But if Bossy did have a 76-year-old brother Raul, she would insist he take over as
President of Cuba contest official because readers reader?
Have you ever tried to write over 150 contestant names on microscopic scraps of paper that you ripped with your very own
Carpal Tunnel Syndrome hand?
Before Bossy announces the winner, let’s take a look at some of the guesses. As you may remember, a wrapped birthday present was left on Bossy’s front porch with the following card attached:
The contest was to please oh gah decipher whose name was signed on the bottom of the birthday card so Bossy could
sleep at night thank her generous friend. And you dear readers reader were up to the task—once again proving how much Bossy needs you on Her Team. Especially if The Game is combining letters in wholly ridiculous ways.
You guessed the signature belonged to Martha. Or Marsha. Or Mulva or Delores. Or Nolla, Bella, Molly, Modla, Nana, Mufasa, Mona, Medusa, Noodla, Marla, or George Clooney. Also popular were Magda, Moss, Nosla, Mesea, Nicola, Nelda, Moesha, Missoula, Modo, Barack O’Boyfriend, and the ever popular Molive.
There was also Marla, Melissa, Molla, Nalla, and Jimmy Hoffa. Mina, Maia, Nesla, Maho, Holla, Molli, Volla, Nasa, Maflo, and Adam Heath Avitable.
Or how about Motha, Mama, Stella, Mafia, Mosea, M. Osla, Nefla, Mazola, Mollaxo, Nolsa, Ursala, Melba, Leosa, Uosra, Lunsa, and Constance. And John Cusack. And Mepea.
By far the most popular entry guess was Mosla. And the ending would be so happy if Bossy only knew a Mosla. But because she doesn’t know a Mosla—or a Mafla or a Nosla or even a Mogula—Bossy decided to throw all 155 contestant names into a hat:
Next Bossy selected a name from her hat:
Congratulations Jaueoooo! Oh. Bossy supposes she needs to put on her reading glasses.
Luann saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 9:57 am
but but but…does Bossy know who it’s from yet?
BOSSY saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 9:58 am
Blog Starr saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 10:05 am
Post it on Craigslist’s missed connections:
You left a phallic shaped gift at my door. I need to see you again to thank you.
You might get some good calls.
(I posted on my blog to say I think you are a Pisces. Am I at least right about this mystery?)
we_be_toys saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 10:14 am
Does it matter where it came from? It’s a kick-ass olive dish.
I love Bossy’s contests!
Nice Minnie Pearl touch, the tag on the glasses – stylin!!
All Adither saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 10:14 am
BOSSY’s morning hair is better than my going-out-for-a-date hair.
The Domestic Goddess saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 10:15 am
Jen O’s a lucky lady. I am lost without an olive dish (because, I eat olives. Not.)
Avitable saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 10:15 am
You’re not going to believe it’s from me, are you?
I missed you over at my blog yesterday. Thought you would have had a great comment.
Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 10:19 am
I like the tag. It could become fashion.
Or you are a modern Minnie Pearl.
Liz saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 10:34 am
Dig out those holiday cards!! Whoever is kind enough to leave a birthday gift must have sent you a holiday card, and is sure to have signed it in the same way (but with a return address or other family names as well…)
Momo Fali saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 10:34 am
Whoever that card is from, obviously doesn’t realize that the truest peace and happiness will come to your soul when you find out who the hell they are.
Mosla saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 10:38 am
You don’t know a Mosla??? That’s the THANKS I GET for my thoughtful phallic gift?
I take BACK my hearts and butterflys!
Jenn @ Juggling Life saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 10:43 am
Hasn’t Bossy noticed the youthful trend of leaving the tags on your baseball cap–obviously Bossy is just rocking that trend in a “middle-aged” sort of way. Way to be fashion-forward!
vuboq saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 10:47 am
I’m still a little bamboozled over the concept of an olive tray. I thought olives only went in martini glasses.
Congrats to Jen O.
Rachel May saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 10:48 am
You should totally check out Mir at WantNot and ask her about the online random number generator she uses for contests….
At first, I didn’t want to suggest it for fear that your next contest winner post would not be as funny, but then I remembered that (HELLO?!?!) it’s BOSSY we’re talking about here! Doh!
David saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 10:53 am
OK, put the hat back on.
Biddy saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 10:55 am
um bossy? have you heard of a little site called random.org? it’ll totally keep your carpel tunnel from flaring up during contests. though, it doesn’t make as good a photo shoot…
i’m still dyin to know who it was! you would think Medusa would pop by your blog and be all “hey, seriously, it was me”
RuthWells saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 10:55 am
Oh, if only it HAD been The Clooney…. I’d have staked out your house.
Nikki saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 10:56 am
Congratulations Jen O.! I didn’t submit a guess since Google Reader just recommended your blog to me this morning, but agree with the Molla guessers – that’s what it looks like to me.
I like the glasses. Rip the tag!!
Karla saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 11:00 am
This is very exciting. If the winner is the same Jen O that I am thinking of, and really, how many Jen O’s can there be? Then I think her and her expectant belly will much enjoy some steamed olives in the microwave safe olive dish.
anastasia beaverhausen saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 11:03 am
If only I had been able to pull myself out from under the bed long enough to enter this contest. Not, of course, that I would have been able to decipher the signature. Far from it. But I do like to enter (and summarily lose) contests.
heart shaped hedges saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 11:05 am
Wait, I kinda need to know the name!
I spent a good amount of time retracing that scrawl in my brain, trying to scientifically determine which letters they could possibly represent…and which names it could create, so, will there be an answer?
Surely Bossy’s generous birthday XO friend is a blog reader, right?
HEY, MOSFLARLOA can you please tell us your name????
heart shaped hedges saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 11:09 am
Also, FYI on the random contest winner generator deal…..
My husband told me that if you do that, it’s considered a lottery or something and it’s illegal if you arent registered or something, or maybe it’s illegal in some states, so, dont do it before checking out the LAW.
I would hate for bossy to get in trouble, like, did you see the I Love Lucy episode where she has a drawing for a TV for a “charity”…the charity being her and Ethel’s trip to Europe? Big trouble for Lucy!
PS. I think I will have a contest tomorrow….hmmmm…gotta find a gift card to re-gift!
Belle saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 11:16 am
Ohh god, the mystery is driving me insane. I’ve checked your blog 3 times this morning hoping for an answer. AND…..No Answer. I am going to go curl into a ball and cry, not only did we not know the answer, but I didn’t even win the contest!
Doug saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 11:17 am
OK here’s the left brain part of me coming out.
List the people who know your birthday.
Cross reference that to the ones who know you like olives.
Assuming that that list doesn’t yield the thoughtful giver, you have the cities from your Excellent Roadtrip map. (this of course assumes they are a blogger and actually want you to visit them)
Take that along with the square root of your son’s tuition, divided by his SAT scores and multiply by the inverse of the temperature on Jupiter (tomorrow at noon) and you’ll have your answer.
see how simple that was?
Hotdog saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 11:24 am
Bossy is so very resourceful with her reading glasses. We should all take note.
Mr Farty saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 11:32 am
I had this really brilliant comment, but doug beat me to it.
Nilsa S. saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 11:51 am
Hahaha – a very fair and just way to choose the winner.
Jen O. saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 12:00 pm
I WON!!! I’ve never won anything as spectacular as an olive dish!!! (Trust me…I’m not being sarcastic. I once ate an entire LARGE jar of olives, including the loose pimentoes…and then drank the juice. I’m just saying – THIS IS AWESOME!!!)
Candy saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 12:12 pm
I should totally have won, though. Maybe if I change my name to Jen O. Or Marsha.
corrie saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 12:34 pm
UUUummmm…… I can’t call this closure…
I really need to know who left such a thoughtful card and note and gift!
I guessed it was Stella~ thinking your beauteous daughter did a very thoughtful surprise to you from the Dane…
I just hope Bossy will solve this mystery soon!!
P.S. I LOOOOOOOOVVVVE the olive dish.. Jen O is very lucky today!!
Sister Honey Bunch saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 12:36 pm
That is going to drive you nuts not knowing.
Manic Mommy saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 12:54 pm
So, you either have a very nice neighbor or a stalker. Great.
I hate olives so I didn’t enter the contest. I would have gone with NSA. It’s a gift from Condoleeza Rice.
Dr. Monkey saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 12:56 pm
I’m digging the stern look Bossy is giving us in the last photo. I promise to be a bad monkey so you’ll give me that look all the time I hope, hubba hubba.
Maria R saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 1:25 pm
Bossy’s random drawing looked suspiciously like the random drawing I had on my blog…except I had a cuter “draw-er”…and I only had, um, well, 20 little pieces of paper so didn’t get carpel or need random generator….so I think bossy is copying ME…and I didn’t want that stupid old olive tray/ash tray thing anyway.
Good job Jen O. I’m very happy for you.
I am NOT a sore loser.
dgm saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 1:43 pm
Is it too late to change my answer to “Raul”?
Fair enough. Congratulations, Jen O!
Next time, you’re goin’ DOWN, sistah!
Lisa saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 2:25 pm
It’s not like we really know who sent the olive whatchacallit. This is so frustrating!!! It is driving me crazy! Maybe Bossy did it cuz she is trying to do a little spring cleaning!!!!!
Hey, the hair is not as bad as I guess Orlando Bloom’s. Did you catch the story how his girlfriend says he bathes and washes his clothes every couple of weeks! OMG!
Jacki saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 2:48 pm
I wish I had friends who left nice gifts on the front step for me to find.
Sarah is Ok saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 3:37 pm
I had something to say about your post, but then I read Jen O’s comment about drinking the olive juice and threw up a little in my mouth. and then again when I typed it. I think the dish went to its rightful owner.
dexter saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 3:37 pm
I never had an olive dish. I just dump them on the table and try to stab them with toothpicks.
Jami saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 5:46 pm
I never had an olive dish either. Unless the jar they come in counts as a dish in the rest of the world like it does at our house. If we’re going upscale, we provide a fork to spear the olives instead of just forcing everyone to use their fingers to fish ’em out.
All of which is by way of saying that some of us could REALLY have used an olive/pickle dish/ashtray.
TLB saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 5:58 pm
TLB saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 5:59 pm
Annie saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 6:16 pm
I forgot to post my guess for an entry, what a shame. I really needed a classy olive dish. 🙂 My guess would have been Moola, as in.. that person wants you to send them some. So do I. Maybe it was me, then??
natalie saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 6:24 pm
i can’t wait to find out who it was who gave you the olive dish. seriously. i wonder if they will ever come forward and admit it.
kate saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 7:39 pm
okay, fine, it was from me. you’re welcome.
meleah rebeccah saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 8:10 pm
Love The Glasses
Flea saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 8:29 pm
Soooo … who is it?
Heidi saysFebruary 28, 2008 at 11:30 pm
I’ve decided it’s Magda. Whether you know her or not.
Kelley saysFebruary 29, 2008 at 3:26 am
Raul is the most awesome name. I am honouring you and Raul by naming my next period after him. They name hurricanes don’t they?
And lovely to see that you are still embracing that inner curl. I am embracing my 4 straightening irons.
William saysFebruary 29, 2008 at 6:09 am
Now I am dying to know who it is.
My guess would have ben trisha
Dawn @ Coming to a Nursery Near You saysFebruary 29, 2008 at 6:59 am
My question is……..
How the hell did you know that was an olive dish? LOL
heart shaped hedges saysFebruary 29, 2008 at 10:36 am
Can I announce my *contest* ??
Ok, just did….
Did M*%la call yet to take credit for the new olive boat?
Phoenix saysFebruary 29, 2008 at 11:07 am
So you don’t know a Noma? Cause that’s truly what it looks like to me. Or Noooooma maybe? Happy belated birthday.
Optimist saysFebruary 29, 2008 at 2:07 pm
I still think you are being stalked by 50’s era Japanese Kaiju’s.
I almost died laughing when I read Vuboq’s comment. I thought it was Mothra too – but he beat me to the punch – and was much funnier than I could ever be!
xoxo Bonnie in Houston
Glennia saysMarch 1, 2008 at 1:07 am
Did anyone guess Mother? If Bossy’s mother is deceased, then it could be a Norman Bates-y type thing someone is trying to pull on you (and I hope that your mother is alive and enjoyed the day of your birth both then and now).
HappyCampers saysMarch 1, 2008 at 11:05 am
Oh that would SOOOOO drive me bonkers! I found your site through June Cleaver Nirvana (one of my coolest neighborhood friends!) and you are Hi-Lar-EE-Us!
Kristabella saysMarch 1, 2008 at 1:16 pm
I think it was TOTALLY Mufasa. That rascally lion. Oh wait. He died in a stampede.
Neil saysMarch 1, 2008 at 7:09 pm
I can’t decipher the name, but as a professional handwriting analyst, I would say that person has A LOT of emotional problems. Look at the curvature of the strokes, and that intense XO.
donna in mid michigan saysMarch 2, 2008 at 7:02 pm
CONGRATS to Jen O. One time the neighbor girl and I ate an entire jar of SLICED dill pickles. It was a NEW Thing–hamburger Chips as Pickles!! Yah. That was a Long time ago.
markira saysMarch 3, 2008 at 8:09 am
We just can’t let it go. Must…know….gifter…