The above photo features last night’s Richmond Virginia host, Kelly Stern, and in this photo Kelly and Bossy are watching Top Chef. Like, right? Watching Top Chef with gay men—Bossy was in heaven and she swears it had nothing to do with the delicious warm wine she consumed earlier at the get-together, and did Bossy ever tell you her position on the newfound opinion that even red wine should be chilled? Bah.
Not shown in the above photo is Kelly’s other half Jeff—who was doing his level best not to be annoyed by the fact that Bossy and Kelly were not only watching Top Chef but multi-tasking, and a few of those tasks include: checking email, sipping cocktails, and discussing the state of adult relationships. In short, Jeff is a saint. This is Jeff:
Here’s something else about Bossy’s stay in Richmond: she fell in love with the cute city. In fact “cute” was Bossy’s word of the day—the streets and streets of row houses were cute, the local dog park was cute, Kelly’s car was cute, and even the Civil War cemetery was cute.
Bossy interrupts this ramble post for a snippet of life at the Route 85 Greenville South Carolina Panera: “Hi this is (insert name of woman in green who feels she must accomplish a lifetime of phoning chores while sitting only three inches from Bossy’s head) and I must now speak at the top of my voice in order to ask you if my drugstore photos have been developed, and…” And then Bossy strangles the woman in green.
Anyway, Richmond was all:
And all:
And all:
And then this morning while it was still dark Bossy slipped off for a day of driving. Eight hours of driving to be specific and Bossy is only 2/3rds of the way there. Driving eight hours is interesting, where interesting = little driving games like eating one Bugle every single mile marker.
And finally, an apology: Bossy is sorry her post today was delayed, but it’s very difficult to locate an off-highway place that offers free Wi-Fi — a task made even more difficult when one is actually napping in the back of their Saturn Vue.
Tonight Atlanta. Tomorrow Orlando.
I hope you packed a lot of bugles.
I’m eating one peanut M&M for every mile I’m pretty sure you’re driving. No, I’m not, but I might have to,now. Be right back.
Hard to post when you’re SLEEPING.
But, what everyone wants to know…have you pooped yet?
My main consideration when planning my first solo and very long road trip: Could I nap at rest stops without being murdered?
My solution: take guard dog.
Guard dog = 16 year old poodle.
Bossy! I’m so glad you posted! Finally! It was a long hard wait, but well worth it!
I’m glad you posted – I was starting to worry that you;d been kidnapped…
Yes, Richmond was All That and Then Some, but nothing compares to seeing Bossy in person.
I drove 72 miles one way, left my daughter with my mother (who thinks a blog is a German beer and who fretted over my driving an hour to meet “internet strangers”), and drove 72 very. long. miles home. In the dark.
It was a once in a lifetime experience I’ll never forget.
If any of you are on the fence about attending a Bossy road trip event, three words: JUST DO IT.
oh it IS cute! and so are jeff and kelly! *sigh* why are all the gorgeous ones gay or married!?
You continue to have a safe trip.
Is it wrong to say I’m a little jealous of your adventure and the fact that I can’t come to Dallas.
Rock On!
That was sort of dorky wasn’t it.
Driving 8 hours doesn’t seem nearly as difficult as waiting a mile between each Bugle.
That’s how they break prisoners.
Wow! They still make Bugles? When I was about ten, my family took a road trip to South Dakota (from NYC) and we visited the wild burros in Custer State Park. Being city folk, we were totally unprepared for a giant burro head coming in the open car window and making off with our bag of Bugles… Just thought that info might come in handy if you pass through South Dakota.
ARRRGGHH. I apologize on behalf of all Greenvillians for the behavior of the Woman In Green at the I-85 Panera. (I’m not sure where exactly the I-85 Panera is, precisely, but I’m putting out an APB for the WIG.)
Also, DAMN, I wish I’d known. Downtown Greenville isn’t that far off I-85 and the whole Main St. area is a wi-fi hotspot with much better ambiance.
Now I need some Bugles. Drive carefully!
That sounds so fun!
OMG! Bossy will be in my zip code in 23 and a half hours!
I predict that she will not be describing my zip code as CUTE.
I heart both Carolinas. Sigh.
is kelly the one who is job hunting? if so, then maybe kelly could charge people come and watch top chef with him and jeff. i would pay. it would be fun.
EAt up before you head into Florida or those Cafe Risque signs really start to tempt you after a while. With the food I mean. And that place is gross. I mean, that’s what I heard.
I am sooo jealous! But just for a minute.
Did you see the Gaffney peach butt? (Not the official name.) If you saw it, you know what I’m talking about.
The Carolina whose first name rhymes with “forth” is, in my opinion, the faaaar superior one. And not just because I live there. Here.
WOOHOO! Hotlanta! Enjoy, and say hello to some of my friends. And the downtown tornado. Oops.
Orlando? Meh. Sorry, people-who-reside-in-Orlando, it does nothing for me.
Weeeeeee…….this is fun!
Mr. Lootiatto (aka bossys mom) is drolling for the cute townhouses in Richmond, the fun friends, the mile upon mile of driving between point “A” and point “B”. It doesn’t get any better than that…hi sweetie.
I just want you to know, Bossy, that my life sucks right now and I am totally digging your posts…it really brightens my sad, pitiful life. Sigh.
Oooh, oooh! I have a driving game: You find a point on the horizon and guess in your head how far it is. Is it 1.2 miles? 2.6? Who knows? Check your odometer when you make the bet and when you pass the finish line. If you’re close, you can reward yourself. Say, with a Bugle.
Wait…there’s more to Richmond than Philip Morris??? After reading this post, I have vowed to never again trash Richmond for being a dump.
Unfortunately, not ALL of Richmond is that cute. Most of it IS a dump, Paige Jennifer. I’m glad that Kelly took Bossy to the nice places! Sorry I couldn’t make it to Avalon last night 🙁 It was my dad’s birthday…
BOSSY shall post when ever she darn well feels like it!
We shall wait patiently!
This was CUTE!
YAY! I’m so glad you liked Richmond. I really am kicking myself for not being able to be in town as well, I was just up this last weekend and Also saw the Civil War Cemetery. Safe travels!
I know you are busy and all, but you were supposed to photoshop out my chins… we loved having you here… thank you for including us in your adventure… and to all of you who have the chance… MEET BOSSY!!! she rocks!!!
Wow. I’m sorry but all I really managed to retain from this post is … there’s no snow in Richmond. It’s like some kind of climate miracle … can I come with you …
Richmond is indeed cute. Jeff looks as if he is exercising saintly patience.
The seat at the computer looks divine, the streets look enchanting, but you lost me at napping in the Vue.
Well, if you should refer to o-Town as ‘cute’ then its obvious that a warm wine intervention is required. Richmond offers lots of charm. Here in Orlando we offer any overpriced theme park imaginable. But, we probably have more of us ‘gays’ here than in Richmond. Be safe. Be good. Be happy.
And next time bring Kelly and the gang with you!
Hella yes, bugles.
Let me get this straight: people in South Carolina still take their photos to the drugstore to be developed? That’s some weird shit, man. Please don’t tell me they’re using film.
It’s after 10 o’clock. Do you know where your bossy is?
Thats a hella lotta driving girl!
Holy shit. It’s really hitting me in a BIG way that you are out there ALL BY YOURSELF doing all this wandering. Because of course everything on this island is within an hour’s drive of every OTHER thing and I can barely find my way down to the 7-11 to refill my Slurpee without napping. That is some big ole driving. You be careful out there, now, Bossy honey.
Hmm. I’m beginning to see a pattern. Did Bossy choose to stay at my house while in LA because of my sexuality and not for my brilliant mind, striking good looks, and unsurpassable blog? I thought so.
So close to Orlando! And yeah, Cafe Risque is a hole. Of course, I’ve never been in the actual building. But I did get my picture taken outside of the building with a cardboard cutout of Jack Daniel. Don’t ask. I was in college. You do things. Anyways, be safe out there!
It is a long way from Atlanta to Orlando. I’ve done that trip before. Ouch. Be careful.
mmmm… Bugles. Next truck stop, empty a bag on a paper plate and microwave them for a little bit, then dip in mustard as you eat – warm, soft, crunchy, and spicy all at the same time!
And as for the picture of Jeff and Kelly, I’ve never seen Jeff looking so good. Nikon school isn’t always right.
Of course Kelly looks fabulous as always.
Bossy, please watch out for those snipers! I worried about you when I heard the news today.
I get to go to Richmond a few times a year on business. It is, in fact, the ONLY place I ever get to go on business, and every time I am struck by the cuteness.
We open in Venice,
We next play Verona,
then on to Cremona…
I must say, this is so much fun to live vicariously through you. I’m all “WHOOO ROAD TRIP!” and thankful I don’t have to drive.
Bugles rock.
Shotgun!
I’m really enjoying this vicarious road trip.
BTW, shouldn’t all the pictures of people driving cars (including Kelly) show them wearing those fingerless gloves?
Does Bossy have a driver I see in that last photo?? Can’t wait to hear more stories! Drive safe 🙂
Richmond IS cute. Drive safe and have fun in Atlanta with Stella!
Boss is coming to Orlando?
I had NO IDEA.
All this wining and cosmosing and other beveraging has Sewmouse worried that once the Excellent Road Trip is over, the blog will change names to “My Name is Bossy and I am An Alcoholic – HELLO BOSSY”
….and on the fourth day, bossy slept in.
probably.
Are we having fun yet???
I’m a new reader, and have been enjoying your blog! Welcome to Atlanta! (I live nearby). I hope you enjoy your stay.
Oh Bossy, I living vicariously through you!!! I WANT TO ROAD TRIP!!!
I went to a wedding in Richmond – quaint! Maybe, by the time you get to Chicago, you will have seen enough of Top Chef to appreciate a stop at the Whole Foods where they gather their foodstuffs!
Yes, there should definitely be a “shotgun” contest for the next leg of your journey.
I did notice your proclivity for staying at the homes of gay men. Who can blame you? They’d be my first choice over our Cheerios-infested world!
Drive safe! Hi Bossy’s Mom!
I love bugles. And Crunch n’munch. And Little Debbie peanut wafer bars. All make excellent road trip food. And after eating a bunch for a few days my ass gets pillowier, making sitting for long stretches more comfortable. Have fun Bossy.
Awww . . . you’re in Orlando while I’m at a high school camp out! Still, it’s supposed to be BEAUTIFUL while you’re here and not at all humid.
It would be a kick to have you at our place and to introduce you to my friends. I feel you would think you were attending a Puritan prayer meeting compared to everything else, though!
Atlanta, tonight? Bossy really must visit the Euclid Avenue Yacht Club. . . or my porch. Which will have wine and friends. Email me, if you want either!
GAH!
You were in GREENVILLE? That’s only an hour and a half from me! I could have had a genuine bonafide Bossy sighting! (And potential Bossy hugging… if that’s not too creepy… if it is, you could just hug my 3-month-old baby… so not creepy!)
Email me if you pass through again!
Did you check to make sure those bugles aren’t made in China? Hee hee. Sounds like you are having a blast. Thanks for the updates.
But we all want to know, from Kelly’s blog, how did you sneak out without setting off the alarm?
Jeff & Kelly are SOOOO cute!
NC here and you just flew through I bet! You will LOVE Atlanta! The South rocks. Richmond sounds like a great time with Jeff & Kelly! Love gay men….hillarious!
Dude~Richmond looks sah-weeeeet!
Richmond rocks! I lived there for eight years (I’m in the DC area now), and most of my immediate family currently lives in the city). In fact, I’m writing this comment from Richmond right now…I drove down Friday night to spend the weekend with my family and friends. 🙂
Richmond IS surprisingly cute. I lived there for two years in grad school. It’s surreal too. Still startlingly Confederate at times.