Bossy wants to tell you the following Excellent Road Trip story about her mornings. Every single day Bossy would wake up and take a shower and get dressed and pack her things and leave her host’s house and drive for three hours. And then the sun would come up. And then Bossy would career off a cliff, the end.
If Bossy played her cards right she could stave off hunger until 8 a.m., except there were no cards and there was no one to play cards with and there wasn’t any light or signs of life and what was Bossy saying again? Right. Breakfast.
Every day Bossy would search the exit ramps throughout the country for the McDonald’s arches and she would fall into their fine establishments for a delightful morning poo followed by a breakfast sandwich and yes it’s easy to confuse the two.
Every morning Bossy would stand at the counter in her support hose and order a Sausage Egg McMuffin with Cheese, even though there really is no such thing as a Sausage Egg McMuffin with Cheese—there is only a Sausage McMuffin with Egg which happens to have cheese on it, but who can blame Bossy for never assimilating the McDonald’s vernacular just because she ate this piece of nasty thirty-five days in a row.
Anyway. Bossy has two little-known facts to share about McDonald’s. The first fact is: they are not all created equal. Some are cleaner and happier, like the following light-filled McDonalds in Louisiana where the Senior Center residents gather very early in the morning to play Bingo:
The second McDonald’s fact: their Sausage Egg McMuffins with Cheese do not all taste the same. Bossy’s favorite breakfast sandwich was purchased in a Texas McDonald’s, and what made it so good were the burnt bits on the soggy McMuffin and the slight chew to the microwaved egg:
The third little known fact about McDonald’s—and Bossy knows she was only going to provide two facts: they are not all priced consistently. Take for example New Mexico, which despite prosperous Santa Fe must have one of the poorest populations across the continental United States:
But would you believe out of the twenty-eight states Bossy visited, New Mexico wins for highest priced McMuffins?