The above is a bumper sticker, and when Bossy was in her teens this bumper sticker hung on her bedroom wall, only it wasn’t a wall, it was a Wall Unit, and it wasn’t just a bumper sticker—it was a way of life.
But before Bossy elaborates about that time before she was married, before Bossy put away her childish crushes, she would like to pause for a moment in the early eighties—in her teenage bedroom made cozy with burnt orange carpeting—because Bossy has more to say about her Wall Unit.
It was Swedish decades before there was an Ikea, and it was made of blond wood and white laminate. This wall unit surrounded her bed and provided cabinets for
birth control pills doll clothes, and drawers for birth control pills socks. And the bridge directly over the bed contained built-in lights for late night you all have filthy minds reading:
Back to the bumper sticker. Bossy has always been drawn to the music scene because her brother is a musician and his friends are musicians. Even when he was seven Bossy’s brother was a musician and his friends were musicians, and even when he was ten Bossy’s brother was a musician and his friends were musicians, and even when he was nineteen Bossy’s brother was a musician and his friends were musicians except now Bossy noticed that all of these friends who were musicians wore tight black pants.
Thus Bossy’s career as a
gropey groupie was launched. And Bossy loved her access behind the scenes—she witnessed how songs were written, and she heard the arguments, and she watched as many of the musicians climbed from the smokey stage and out of their comfort zones.
Bossy felt very respected in that musical environment. The musicians would compliment Bossy by telling her that she had a great ear, which come to think of it probably isn’t the best compliment a musician has ever given a groupie. But anyway, one time one of those very musicians took Bossy on a date that lasted nineteen years.
Not much has changed because Bossy is still a groupie who likes to go behind the scenes, although recently there has been a slight shift in venue. (to be continued.)
Part Two Tomorrow Because Bossy Is So Exhausted At The Thought Of Her Young Self Hanging Out With All Of Those Cute Musicians That She Must Now Put Herself To Bed For The Day.