Yesterday Bossy was all blah blah groupie blah, but today Bossy is all about her new behind-the-scenes obsession: theater.
Also as Bossy may have mentioned once or several hundred times, Bossy is an interior painter. And occasionally Bossy gets the opportunity to volunteer to help paint sets for the theater, and could that sentence use more words to say the simplest thing? Bossy paints sets.
The community theater’s upcoming youth production is Thoroughly Modern Millie. Although she’s never seen it, Bossy has become an expert on this musical—and she offers the following in depth plot summary: it features brick walls. And jail cells. And ledges. And nightclub windows. Shall we begin?
Bossy’s first task was to mix an appropriate base color to simulate bricks. Note: this is not the same as stimulating bricks—that’s a job left to the mortar.
See how Bossy did that? Wrote a masonry joke right in the middle of her Friday morning? Now do we all sense how desperate Bossy is for weekend wine?
Anyway. In case you’re curious just who is in charge of this set design and doling out the jobs—this guy is in charge of set design and doling out the jobs:
His name is Joe, but you can call him Bossy’s friend Joe. Bossy is a little terrified of her friend Joe, because Joe thinks Bossy is more talented than she actually is. Of course Joe invests similar faith in everyone, which is just one of the really neat things about Joe. The other neat thing about Joe: he sings like an angel.
But the singing like an angel thing doesn’t really help Bossy when Joe is all, “Make this mound of chicken wire and cheesecloth look like a boulder,” and Bossy is all, “The only Boulder Bossy knows is in Colorado.”
See how Bossy did that? Made a geographical joke with seven hours remaining until she can open a bottle of weekend wine?
Back to the brick wall, which was cut from Styrofoam on some earlier day—probably a day Bossy was at home not listing her laptop on eBay.
Bossy mixed a brick red color. Because. Bricks!
As Bossy applied paint to several sections of fake brick wall, her heart was warmed by all of the kid volunteers who were crowded in the parking lot in the rear of the theater, each with their own task:
Kids were hammering and kids were painting and kids were sawing and kids were
screwing attaching things. Every single person was committed to their job and—wait—what have we here? Anyone know this slacker?
Why, it’s Bossy’s daughter, and what is that in her hand—a camera?
Imagine standing around taking photos while other people are working! Bossy doesn’t know where she picked up this habit.
Disgusted by her daughter’s lack of work ethic, Bossy returned to her brick walls:
With the base coat completed, Bossy went back into the shop to mix a few other colors she could sponge on top of the brick to give it a more realistic look:
And speaking of the shop, Bossy kind of wants to marry the shop. It’s tall, dark, and handsome. Not really, but it is dark, and contains a million cans of paint and a brush in every size:
Other cool things in the shop: rolls of paper.
And the shop floor could tell a million stories! If it weren’t a shop floor:
Back out in the parking lot, Bossy sponged more colors on top of the base coat:
The amazing thing about set painting is everything you think is an error just adds to the aged look of the stuff you are producing! Or at least that’s what Bossy tells herself. Here is the completed brick wall:
Next Bossy took a break to go backstage and look for her daughter so she could yell at her for taking photos instead of working. Bossy took her camera with her:
That’s the stage door. It’s very stage-ish. And door-ish. And these are the stage lights:
And these are the ropes:
Bossy doesn’t know what all of these do, but she’s pretty sure with a little time she could learn the ropes. See how Bossy did that? Rope joke, still no wine?
And finally, this is the view of the house from the stage, where house equals the cutest theater eh-ver: