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It’s Time To Play Everything I Know About Iconography I Learned By Reading Bossy.

While some people reap the benefits of discovering the Virgin Mary in a vat of dark chocolate, Bossy’s luck has always been along the lines of finding the shroud of Mr. Toad in her bathtub drain.

Thanks to seasonal hair loss and an antiquated U-trap, Bossy’s bathroom is a prolific source of amusement. Occasionally Bossy has even looked to you to name the latest drain apparition, but today is different.

Today is different because Bossy is fairly convinced she knows whom she found in her drain. Today is also different because Bossy is using words like “whom” when referring to nasty hair gook.

The last reason today is different: Bossy is not going to post the photo of her new drain friend on this front page because in the past Bossy has offended those who are right this minute chewing a breakfast bagel. Or planning your dinner party. Or swirling hot coffee in your mouth, or chugging a soda, or are elbow-deep in a bag of chips, and does anyone work anymore?

So: in order to see Bossy’s new drain friend, you’ll have to push this now.

For the rest of you:

super-day

Reader Interactions

Comments

  4. Holy shit. I’m pretty new at this blogging thing. Let me get this straight. YOU PULL HAIR OUT OF YOUR FUCKING DRAIN TO POST?!? O my God I feel as if anything is now possible. Nice use of “whom” too.

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  5. lmfao, seriously. last time i had to snake my tub drain, a nice wad came out looking very much like that – except mine was in a long, curly bunch. Like someone had chopped the ponytail off an extra from HBO’s John Adams biopic and shoved it down the damn drain.

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  10. As I was reading I was thinking, Sister, please don’t post that hair sculpture. Please don’t post it. Please don’t post it.

    So, thank you. The teeth aren’t nearly as bad.

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  16. Oh my god! I see teeth and nails in there! Curling ones, even!

    Our drain is running slow. Makes me scared. Although all four of us have very very short hair. I won’t find this in there, right?

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  18. Bossy should know that I was indeed chewing on breakfast and I greatly appreciate the separate location of the icky drain hair. But Bossy’s friend up there? The one wishing us a super day? He’s just as disturbing. And I will be back to visit Bossy during the 3-5 PM diet danger hours today. I thank Bossy for helping out with curbing the cravings. I should reach my weight goal in no time.

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  19. The only thing grosser than that would be if your dog ate it (like my dog did when I pulled a wad of hair out of the drain). Uh Oh…i think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.

    xoxo
    tcb

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  20. This is like that time I went to rotten.com. I was too scared to click any of the titles for fear of what I’d see. Am sort of thinking that with this pic. (Not that this is on par with decapitated people pics but that whole “click at your own risk” stuff makes me scared of what I’d find.

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  21. i can’t even believe that any amount of water was getting through your drain. seriously. how could it? seems like that drain needed to be cleaned a long time ago. and yes…it was just as gross as ever. ugh!

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  22. Didn’t I see that man on some Discovery Health hour-long special about freakish humans who only have 3 oversized teeth? Or maybe I just dreamed it…

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  23. You need to stab that hairball, otherwise it’s going to strangle you or eat your dog.
    Also, I’m in love with John too and we might have to fight for him…just saying, his move on commercial rocks.

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  24. i sat next to this guy on a plane once. he smells just like he looks. and even though he has all that room to get the floss in there, he doesn’t.
    i couldn’t bring myself to click on the link to the hair thingy. i’m a blogging newbie, i think i need a few more bossy classes before i can confidently click on a link to her bathtub drain hair.

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  26. OK, first off some of us do still work, but I live in a way different time zone than you…….like across the country, and I work at nights, and by about 9:30AM my time you have your new post and I love waking up and reading BOSSY. You make everyday a fun and entertaining day, and also, I dont think i want to clean the drains of my apartment, because what i would find would most likely not be mine…..or my wifes…..ew

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  27. I’m eating, I swore I wasn’t going to click on the link. I lied to myself..AGAIN!

    A little strainer in the tub/shower prevents this from happening. I know!

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  33. I’ve spent my morning spraying off poopy cloth diapers, rescuing a garden toad (delivered inside by the cat) that had an unfortunate run-in with a dog hair tumbleweed, and cleaning long-expired food out of the pantry and fridge. None of that fazed me. But WHY did I have to click your link??

    Bleurrch.

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  36. Since I’ve had a similar hair drain syndrome for years, I foolishly thought I could handle yours. Oh how wrong I was.

    As such, I would like to take this opportunity to thank you in advance for your extremely thoughtful consideration in placing your hairball and toenail creations on a separate page, thereby sparing the wusses of the universe (in which I now include myself) the horror of all such future endeavors -of which I am sure there will be many.

    Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you.

    I am so freaked out right now I think I need to take a shower to… oh… no…. wait… -DARN YOU BOSSY! 😉

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  38. AAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhh!!!!That is something from a Stephen King novel. I think it is “It.” I’d be sure if it had blood leaking from it. I’m afraid to go in the bathroom now.

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  39. The Bossy family really should look into a different hair product. Keep it up and Bossy will have many horror movie tribbles populating the Bossy household.

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  40. Gag fest. I don’t even know why I clicked that link- I can barely stand to look at our own bathroom drain monsters. Which, I might add, are composed of roughly 93% of my own hair. Yet still, here I am clicking a link to look at Bossy’s drain monster.

    Obviously I heart Bossy. But I don’t know about Hello Kitty anymore.

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  46. What’s worse? The Drain Globulus..or the Bubber with amber toofs the size of post- it notes??? He’s probably thinkin’ “THAT’S where my possum got to!!!”

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  47. That reminds me of a girl’s stomach I saw preserved at a medical museum. She died because all she ate was HER OWN HAIR. I’m telling you, that shit looked just like her stomach.

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  48. i clicked…then i closed my eyes.
    i couldnt’ see it. it was probably yuck! i make my husband clean the drain out.

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  50. I would be grossed out by this,except last summer during a trip to Florida, we found a dessicated toad in the bathtub drain at the home where we were staying. I’ll take hair.

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  51. Oh my god! I was so taking a drink of soda and taking a bite of a bagel (at the same time) as i pushed the link and it immediately sprayed bagel all over my screen and nearly choked on my Coke.

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  53. I totally looked and all I’ve got to say is rrruuuuggggghhhhhyyyyuuuuccckkkkyyyy.

    That was SO NAS-TY.

    I am never cleaning my drains. The hubby is so doing it. We both have short hair so it doesn’t happen to us very often. But still, ewwwwww…

    I may need to sleep with the light on tonight.

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  54. ick, ick, ick. and more ick! at my hpuse I removed the built-in tub and sink stoppers and replace them with little perforated metal baskets and a rubber plug. Yes, now I have a small daily “removal” to do, but it is SO much more bearable. Plus, no plumber’s bill the last five years.

    Reply

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