Russia, better known as Rossiyskaya Federatsiya, is the largest country in the world—spanning eleven time zones across tundra, grassland, mountains, coastline, and semi-desert.
Russia dates back to prehistoric times when nomadic tribes roamed the territory—and then Vikings, and then Slavs, and then Russians.
Georgia, better known as Sakartvelo, formed in the 11th century—which was precisely one century before the burgeoning territory was swallowed by the Russian Empire. Georgia tried independence again following the Russian Revolution of 1917—but the Red Army invaded a few years later, absorbing Georgia into the Soviet Union. This dance continued until the Soviet Union’s collapse in 1991, when Georgia struck out on its own again.
At first Russia liked having an independent Georgia, sitting there all pretty at Russia’s feet, acting as a buffer between Russia and those countries Russia feared—such as Turkey.
But there was one big problem, where one big problem equals two small territories: South Ossetia and Abkhazia:
South Ossetia and Abkhazia are two regions in Georgia with a small population of an ethnic group originally from Russia. These ethnic Georgians within South Ossentia and Abkhazia want to be independent from Georgia—just like their people who live over the Russian border in autonomous North Ossetia:
But the newly independent Georgia didn’t want the ethnic group within their borders and so tried to cleanse them away. And the ethnic group didn’t want Georgians within their territory and so tried to cleanse them away.
This went on for two years, and several uprisings killed thousands of people—so in 1994 Russia deployed a peacekeeping troop to Georgia to help, even though they kind of sided with the Ethnic Georgians.
And then in 2002, Georgia applied to join Nato, angering Russia who worried that it would encourage the spread of a pro-Western ring.
And in 2004, pro-Western Mikheil Saakashvili became President of Georgia, and the first thing on his agenda was regaining control of South Ossetia and Abkhazia, further angering Russia.
Fast forward to now.
Last month Russia illegally flew over Georgian airspace, and then on August 7, Georgia launched forces against South Ossetia on the ground and in the air, and then Russia poured more troops into the area and launched bombs over other targets in Georgia, and then and then and then.
The President of Georgia argues the only reason Russia invaded his country is to gain control over the oil pipeline in the region, while leaders in Moscow state they continue to deploy forces in order to establish a demilitarized zone, while George Bush has pledged support and aid for Georgia, while Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin insists Russia is fully committed to the breakaway regions of South Ossetia and Abkhazia, and as Bossy types, Russian troops are advancing deeper into Georgian territory.
Bossy doesn’t know how this escalation will end, but she sure wishes the outcome was in the hands of Dr. Seuss:
Wow, Bossy has a much better grasp of world politics that I ever imagined. I am going to quit reading boring BBC stuff, and read Bossy exclusively! The graphics are MUCH more interesting. Thanks Bossy!
I will send a link to this post to my middle child. She is a high school World History teacher. This will help her teach her students, don’t cha think?
I think people underestimate Dr Seuss.
I agree with Bossy. I wish it could be in the hands of Dr. Seuss instead of two big countries with old grudges and short memories.
Off topic: but my kid posed as Bossy today. No conflict.
That was awesome. My husband & I were trying to figure all this out last night, and although I think we did well, this has excellent illustrations – so I sent him the link.
Some one has to dig a deep ditch between Georgia and Russia. Then someone has to make a movie, naming it A River Runs Through It.
Mmmmmm, Turkey. Nobody should be afraid of a good Turkey.
See, I’m so glad you did this today, because I’ve been wondering what BOSSY did to piss Russia off.
All of these tiny men with their tiny men complexes keep trying to be big men by killing people. I though natural selection should have eliminated this kind of stupidity by now.
I have to say that was a brilliant post! I mean it. I really don’t know where you come up with this brilliance. Thanks for the guidance. I think we should nominate you for world leader. 😀
If Russia invades Georgia, where will get our peaches from?
you made that as clear as mud. interesting timing of the invasion of Russia to coincide with the olympics sense logistically it would be difficult to actually send an army to Georgia so quickly. seems this may have been a plan of russia all along.
how you gonna ignore what I said and leave out Kosovo?!?!
Damn, woman. That’s cold.
Ah, the Zax! I love them. I am also fond of the Poor Pale Green Pants with Nobody Inside Them.
Dr. Seuss for World Leader! Except that he is dead… but then so is our country’s leader. (Whoops! Did I say that out loud?)
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I’ve been a bit confused by what’s going on.
Hey, keep Pedro outta this!
So where does Atlanta come into the equation?
But…don’t we trust Putin? I mean, Dubya looked into his eyes and all that…
Is Bossy feeling a little sympathetic towards her “sounds-a-lot-like” country?
Has this got anyone craving buttered bread?!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z71Czfh8w3o
Wow, I’m impressed; confused but impressed. Perhaps Bossy was a history professor in a former life, that or she reads the paper.
I agree I am coming back here for my global news.
Wow! I was just commenting to someone that I don’t have any idea what started the whole conflict in Georgia, and then you come along and explain the whole thing to me! Thank you – I think I get it now!
Even with the helpful pics and drawings and the child-like language, I still don’t completely get it. Why can’t people just get along???
I wonder if this is equally confusing to the people who live in Georgia. Or for the people who live in Atlanta, for that matter.
http://meandyouandellie.blogspot.com/2008/08/too-much-noise.html
P.S. I would appreciate a larger picture of Russian Fashion.
Thank you.
Oh, bossy. If only all the world’s problems would end in the words of Dr. Seuss. That would be great, because the whole world would have Diffendoofer days, and nobody would need a thneed, and I can lick 20 tigers today.
Wow, I feel smart now. Weird.
Excellent post. Making sense of madness.
Bossy is brazilliant and Anderson Cooper better his watch his back.
You forgot to mention that this is George Bush’s fault. He can’t go empire building under the guise of nato expansion if he has no clout at all to back it up because all his armies are tied up fighting pointless wars that he started.
He’s been shown up as a fool once again and he has made the USA look like even more of a Paper Tiger.
Who would have though France would come to the rescue!
USA you suck big time.
If Bossy was my history professor in college, I would not spend so much time over my morning coffee saying, “HONEY? What’s an Abkhazia??”
Bossy is so many kinds of brilliant.
Yes. The graphics help a lot!
Thank you Bossy – now I understand. And anyone who can tie world politics in with Dr. Seuss is totally awesome in my book! (pseudo pun intended)
BTW, if you have never seen “In Search of Dr. Seuss” starring Kathy Najimy and a whole host of others, you really should. It is entertaining but gives you a lot of insight into everyone’s favorite Dr.
http://tinyurl.com/648bbe
Wow! I didn’t know they had North of the Border there. Thank you for explaining it all to me. Could you make this a monthly tutorial on world events?
*Sigh* As a Sakartvelophile (Georgia lover, Georgia in Georgian is Sakartvelo), it pains me to see Russia trying to crush such a beautiful country with such a rich musical and cultural history. I’m completely, head over heels, in love with Georgia and its amazing music (look up the Rustavi Ensemble, Trio Kavkasia, Anchiskhati Choir, etc.).
I’m not saying that Georgia has been acting like a saint (and certainly nobody could say that about Sakashvili after his staged January “election”), but I do think that Russia is out of line for:
a. invading Georgia
b. failing to get the hell out when they’ve supposedly called a ceasefire.
Honestly, Russia, don’t you own enough land already? SHEESH.
Bossy, you could be the next Jon Stewart. You make the news understandable. Can you explain oil prices next?
I’m going to copy exactly what you said whenever anyone asks me what is going on between Russia and Georgia. I can’t thank you enough.
I just hope the ethnic Georgians and the Georgians and the Russians are better looking than the Dr. Seuss characters. Seriously.
where is Dr. Seuss when you need him the most?
The light bulb has been lit. Thank you.I was so confused!
If you had been my history teacher I would have been able to keep my concentration and get a better grade. Where were you?
Great post!
Brilliant summary as usual, Bossy, but you left out Schuneman. A contemporary history of Georgia without Schuneman’s shenanigans is like a soup without salt.
I’m on Georgia’s side. Just because I like the name.
Did you hear about Saakashvili’s nickname for Putin? Apparently Saakashvili is a tall man, while, despite his large attitude, Putin is on the short side. So Saakashvili calls him “Lilli Putin”, as in the Lilliputian from Gulliver’s Travels. Bet that pissed him off!
OK, I think I get it…kind of. This was actually on my to do list for today.
As I say, (like John Mayer) Why? Georgia, why?
Georgia produces the very very best semi sweet red wine in the world, I surely hope they dont stop now. Im addicted..aHem, kinda..
This is the best explanation of this crisis that also had a picture of a clock with eyes.
Well done.
That was brilliant. More teachers need to start including the excellent pictures. I had been meaning to do some research on why they were fighting. Now I at least know where to start.
Ahem, thank you Bossy. I’ve not wanted to look like an idiot by asking about what exactly was going on over there! Shew, now I know. Plus I got to watch some Dr. Seuss…….Peace out.
Flawlessly explained! I had no idea Bossy was so well-versed on world affairs! Have you summarized the presidential election yet? Because that I need to read.
Thank you for that tutorial! Krista wonders how Bossy got to be so smart and is glad that she was able to explain the history behind this most recent craziness.
I get all the good polysci here.