Anyway, it wasn’t really a boil, it was a cyst—and it wasn’t really Bossy’s butt, it was her hip, but still: ow.
Her doctor, whose name is Gross—and with a name like that what do you expect him to do but remove butt boils for cash—told Bossy she could immediately resume all activities except horseback riding, which Bossy translated to mean, “You can resume all activities except sitting in your desk chair working,” because = wouldn’t you?
Bossy's Friend Amy says
October 15, 2008 at 10:55 amThank gah it wasn’t me who had a boil / cyst on her butt / hip… NO HORSEBACK RIDING – You may as well just kill me NOW!
BH says
October 15, 2008 at 11:10 amOUCH!
Ellie says
October 15, 2008 at 11:18 amSounds like a perfect time for some serious bar-stool-sitting.
RuthWells says
October 15, 2008 at 11:34 amYee-ouch!
Little Miss Sunshine State says
October 15, 2008 at 11:34 amMy dad once questioned why I would take my kids to a pediatrician named Dr Hazard.
Did the doctor prescribe a gin and tonic for the cyst?
Momo Fali says
October 15, 2008 at 11:34 amIf you drink some gin straight from the cat bowl, I bet it wouldn’t hurt so bad.
Alpaca Farmgirl says
October 15, 2008 at 11:43 amMy parents, bless their hearts, are getting to the age where they have lots of doctors. I kid you not, their doctors names are:
Dermatologist – Dr. Skinner
Urologist – Dr. Waters
Ear, Nost, Throat – Dr. Nechman
Lesley says
October 15, 2008 at 11:44 amWow! That is such a fancy wall, with that really nice brick walkway and those really pretty trees and…wait. What were we talking about again?
Starwoodgal says
October 15, 2008 at 11:52 amMy OB-GYN was Dr. Kradel as in “CRADLE”. Irony is just too funny!
HeyJoe says
October 15, 2008 at 12:15 pmI was so looking forward to the ass pic
HeyJoe says
October 15, 2008 at 12:15 pmOh, and I had a dentist named Dr. Swallow. No lie.
Tootsie Farklepants says
October 15, 2008 at 12:25 pmTootsie loves BOSSY’s neighborhood. Even the wall at her doctor’s office is quaint.
Sorry ’bout yer booty-ish area.
Asthmagirl says
October 15, 2008 at 12:42 pmAsthmagirl had a cyst removed from her thigh three weeks ago. Owww!
Andrea's Sweet Life says
October 15, 2008 at 12:46 pmAnd did Dr. Assman tell you the cause of the cyst, perchance? I’d like to avoid such booty boils in the future, if you please.
Bridget says
October 15, 2008 at 12:49 pmLast year I had a mole removed from butt and it actually was my butt. When it was all over my doctor told me the scar would be as small as a cigarette burn, which is only awesome because now I can tell people my boyfriend put a cigarette out on my butt. And when I show people my butt (which happens more often than you’d think) that’s exactly what I do.
jan8mr.lootiato says
October 15, 2008 at 1:03 pmand the one and only doc in the small village that I once lived in was…..Dr. Butcher
Reeb says
October 15, 2008 at 1:29 pmOh man, I am SO disappointed. I was all ready to START reading Bossy by pressing the “read further” link FIRST and not get stopped mid-read this time. But lo and behold it’s such a short blog today that I didn’t have to read further. Well, tomorrow I’ll forget and you can catch me again. (Now you have readers complaining when there’s not a “read further” doodad. No pleasing everybody.)
And I’m doing very well, thanks for asking! My butt’s doing fine too.
Stacey Ball says
October 15, 2008 at 2:00 pmMan, I had one of those cysts removed myself…only it was on my tailbone. It was terrrrrrrible!
MamaMo says
October 15, 2008 at 2:01 pmSounds like time to “nudge” Stella off the couch and relax with a good book and some hot cocoa.
foolery says
October 15, 2008 at 2:47 pmBeen doing The Bump again lately?
(This was a reference to bad ’70s dances and NOT to anything that could get me blocked from iambossy.com.)
Suzanne says
October 15, 2008 at 2:58 pmButt boils should equal AT LEAST 3 days paid leave. If you ask me. Which… most people don’t.
Big Hair Envy says
October 15, 2008 at 3:03 pmOur Primary Care Physician is Dr. Payne 🙂
SURCIE says
October 15, 2008 at 3:03 pmApparently, a high percentage of Bossy’s readers have had boils on their butts or thereabouts!
Which reminds me. Had I not been a girl, they were going to name me Lance.
David says
October 15, 2008 at 3:51 pmI’m fine, thanks.
Mr Farty says
October 15, 2008 at 3:52 pmI had a dentist called Phil McAvity. I wish.
Get well soon, BOSSY!
Leaf, probably... says
October 15, 2008 at 4:02 pmIn my professional opinion you’re probably looking at a week away from your desk chair – just to be safe that is.
donna in mid michigan says
October 15, 2008 at 4:02 pmPeople can say something to get them blocked from BOSSY’s blog? are you serious?
My former dentist that fixed my front teeth with tooth bondo stuff was called :DR BOND.
Lance says
October 15, 2008 at 4:34 pmJust make sure you’re up and about by Nov 1st hun. In the meantime enjoy the downtime.
And now for the ultimate wrong name for a physician (and this is not a joke…my friend did work at this guy’s house down at the shore): OB-GYN Richard Holeman…think about it.
By the way Surcie, Lance is a nice name!
Jenive says
October 15, 2008 at 4:48 pmMy childhood dentist was Dr. Bites but the winner is the Urologist who did my husband’s vasectomy, Dr. Chop. Dr. Dick Chop.
goblinbox says
October 15, 2008 at 4:49 pmCysts. They are teh funz.
Not.
Liz says
October 15, 2008 at 4:50 pmMy friend’s OB/GYN was Dr. Box. No lie.
Me says
October 15, 2008 at 6:35 pmI like how my first thought was, “Ew, gross… TMI, Bossy!” while so many others apparently thought, “Me, too!”
On the subject of appropriate doctor names, my friend’s chiropractor is Dr. McCracken.
Andrea says
October 15, 2008 at 8:33 pmOooh cool! I love cysts! I am a nurse at a small family practice and I am the one that the Docs call when it is time to take care of one of those bad boys.
Get well soon!
Cactus Petunia says
October 15, 2008 at 9:00 pmLa la la la la la…What was that you said, Bossy? Something about a wall and Dr. Gross?
I lived next door to a Dr. Lust when I was growing up.
La la la la la….
CC says
October 15, 2008 at 9:32 pmI would absolutely interpret it that way!
krg says
October 15, 2008 at 9:36 pmjust because an american patriot, war prisoner, and elder american has an opinion about american politics, doesn’t mean his opinions are valid.
'cuz I'm the mommy, that's why says
October 16, 2008 at 12:03 amTotally the way I would interpret his advise. I had my tubes tied on the 2nd, doc said take it easy for a couple of days…I came back to work on the 13th.
Saucy says
October 16, 2008 at 12:05 amDr. Saucy recommends wine and a sitz bath. In that order.
mimi says
October 16, 2008 at 12:06 amI interpret any indication by a medical professional that I am not perfectly well to mean that I should STAY AWAY FROM WORK FOR AS LONG AS I CAN MANAGE. Of course 🙂
MJ Tam says
October 16, 2008 at 2:32 amOuch! Butt boils is just much more interesting than hip cysts. LOL
Backpacking Dad says
October 16, 2008 at 2:40 amDear BOSSY,
My reader has not been able to find your feed items since October 7th.
So I searched for BOSSY and found another feed and subscribed to that one and it had this post in it. So I unsubscribed to the other feed.
You win at musical feeds.
Nora Bee says
October 16, 2008 at 2:48 amCongratulations on the butt surgery. All in a day’s work.
Sara says
October 16, 2008 at 3:48 amWhat a BUMmer, Bossy. Hope your family is ASSisting you while you recover. Enjoy your R&R (Riesling and Red!)
Michelle in SF says
October 16, 2008 at 4:03 amI once had a mole removed by a Dr. Hacker 🙂
Rhea says
October 16, 2008 at 11:33 amI had a mole removed from my butt once by a Dr. Mole. Ok, I lied about his name, but I did have one taken off my butt…when I was like ten years old. It was humiliating!
Now days I’d have no problem dropping trousers and showing everyone the hiney. I lost all sense of modesty when I have birth to children. Funny how that happens.
Dara says
October 16, 2008 at 1:06 pmSorry about your hip, bossy. I once had an orthodontist named Dr. Crank.
ellen says
October 16, 2008 at 9:21 pmMy ob/gyn is…Dr. Bush. It’s hard not to laugh when I recommend her…but that really is her name.
Mad says
October 18, 2008 at 1:17 pmHilarious! You just made me laugh after the most frustrating morning with a four year old that anyone in the history of the world has ever experienced. Thank you, thank you.
meleah rebeccah says
October 18, 2008 at 3:40 pmOUCH
secretia gilooly says
June 19, 2009 at 11:57 pmiIm so goddamned glad that i lanced my bluish purple booty boil tonight in a spectacular cascade of puss and smut…