Is anyone else watching The Millionaire Matchmaker on Bravo? How about: is anyone else watching The Millionaire Matchmaker on Bravo six months after the first season originally aired even though you’ve already seen all the episodes three times?
Bossy, put your hand down.
The focus of this docudrama is Patti Stranger Stanger, who was Director of Marketing for the dating service Great Expectations before realizing there was a hole in the dating service market, and that hole went a little something like this: millionaire men are willing to pay a cross-eyed matchmaker a boatload of money in exchange for outdated advice and an introduction to a girl who only wants you for your checking account.
Here’s how it works: women who want to be a part of the Millionaire’s Club database audition for Patti Stanger, which entails parading around Patti’s office in plunging necklines and stiletto heels because Patti Stanger only wants Millionaire Club women who are smart. Smart with ironed hair.
And the millionaires gain membership to the Millionaire’s Club only after they throw out their previous misconceptions about dating, such as One Must Reveal One’s True Personality.
Many of the millionaires have a history of falling victim to their own missteps, such as selecting women who are below their age range. The men confess they are ready to settle down with a mature someone in her thirties or forties.
Until Patti introduces the millionaire to a room full of potential dates in their thirties and forties and then the millionaire is all, “How about that 23-year-old over there? The one with the stiletto heels and ironed hair? Because some girls at 23 are old souls.”
The Millionaire Matchmaker will launch its second season soon, so it’s not too late to climb aboard the Crazy Train.
Little Miss Sunshine State says
November 7, 2008 at 8:59 amBossy.Watching Whackjob TV, so we don’t have to.
MamaMo says
November 7, 2008 at 9:13 amThanks for the public service (see Little Miss’s comment), and for taking one for the team like that.
linda Carson says
November 7, 2008 at 9:41 amBossy needs her own segment on the The Daily Show to do tv reviews. I love watching this show – it makes me feel so incredibly normal…and glad that I am not in the dating pool.
Assertagirl says
November 7, 2008 at 9:43 amWow. That woman’s eye makeup totally hides her eyeballs. Reality television really is golden, isn’t it?
Cat says
November 7, 2008 at 9:50 amBossy should work for Bravo in the marketing dept. because she makes all of their shows sound appealing.
Rhi says
November 7, 2008 at 9:56 amI need another show like I need a whole in my head. But, I would watch a show about paint drying if it were on Bravo.
Liz says
November 7, 2008 at 9:59 amSeriously? I mean, seriously? All of these people put the Ugh! in Ugly.
operagal says
November 7, 2008 at 10:00 amdid you see the one about the roller-skating guy? who lived in a hotel room? (and not even a nice hotel, but a really skanky one)
he had his own roller-skating Boogie Fever video. oh, it was a great train wreck.
Andrea's Sweet Life says
November 7, 2008 at 10:08 amI love the minds at Bravo. They come up with some really um…. interesting ideas.
Sigh. It’s why I can’t stop watching.
Tuli says
November 7, 2008 at 10:26 amWhat Little Miss Sunshine State said.
Maggie Garcia says
November 7, 2008 at 10:30 amOH MY GOD! I’m so happy Bossy loves bad TV as much as I do. I don’t even have to ask whether or not you’re keeping up with NeNe.
ruthwells says
November 7, 2008 at 10:49 amI am a total Bravo junkie, but I think I’m letting this train leave the station without me. Bleh. Give me more Tim Gunn!
Jami says
November 7, 2008 at 11:02 amI watched this show with my brother … because every other channel was mysteriously off the air. His comment: “I’ve seen a caulk factory and they didn’t have that much silicone!” This show takes “crazy exploitation” to a whole ‘nother level!
pam says
November 7, 2008 at 11:56 amI’ve not seen it but must admit I’m going in search of it because any program with a character named Oy, Pam’s in.
Pam also would like to know if she draws a line on her chest with a black marker will cleavage ensue?
Ivy says
November 7, 2008 at 12:38 pmI love this show. Its hilarious to see how clueless these millionaire’s are. But Patti seems to know what she is doing, she seems to pick the person who best clicks on the dates with the millionaires. Plus it’s not about hooking up, she has that whole “no sex” clause which has lost her millionaire clients. So… doesn’t everyone deserve a little love? Even men on the hunt for trophy and/or starter wives…
Lisa says
November 7, 2008 at 12:43 pmBossy, thank God for tv so we can live vicariously through other peoples’ experiences. I like that show. Patti does have some valid points when she is counseling people. Some of them may have been smart in making money, but a lot of them are way clueless when it comes to acting like humans!
JustJuli says
November 7, 2008 at 12:59 pmMy mom & sister got me hooked on this show. I don’t watch it often (b/c I don’t have – gasp! cable)
But I’ve seen this show and it’s awesome! I can’t pull myself away. And I can’t wait for new episodes! Bring on the crazy! The very wealthy crazy
Sarcasm Abounds says
November 7, 2008 at 1:02 pmI Tivo’d this trashy show to watch late into the night, when only my personal demons and shadows could judge me. I always aspired to be a millionaire myself, but after watching a legion of these wealthy losers, I realized I don’t really want to ever be associated with them. My personal favorite was the “sex toy” tycoon, with the stripper pole in his room.
Winner.
SA
David says
November 7, 2008 at 1:07 pmYou save me so much time and energy. I just read one of your posts in under a minute and I don’t have to waste all those hours watching this putrid crap and rotting my brain.
Oh, and sorry about your brain. Thanks for taking yet another one for the team.
K says
November 7, 2008 at 1:17 pmSo, seriously, millionaires that can’t find their own gold-digging dates?
How much of a loser do you have to be to fall into that category?
I could almost see it if she were really setting them up with smart, genuine women. They might be hard to find for a millionaire in the city.
Tootsie Farklepants says
November 7, 2008 at 1:28 pmWait, Patti is a woman?
These millionaires pay for this service? Don’t they know that they can gain the same results by walking into any Los Angeles area bar? Or gym?
Suzanne says
November 7, 2008 at 1:36 pmHilarious… I could tell exactly who she was from your artistic portrait of her before I even scrolled down to read. Nicely done! (I think it was the rectangle shaped head.) I love this show… I love watching people who think they are a lot smarter than they actually are. And take themselves WAY too seriously. It makes for hilarious viewing.
Susan says
November 7, 2008 at 1:43 pmCHOO-CHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
(What? I’m blowing the whistle on the train!)
steph says
November 7, 2008 at 1:53 pmI think K (20) hit the nail on the head 🙂
Reeb says
November 7, 2008 at 2:01 pmThe blonde “Jolie-lookalike” (as if) scared me. Her eyes, or lack thereof, are what did it.
Hey look, she doesn’t even show cleavage. Took me three looks at that photo to notice. I’m just so riveted by the eyes, or the locations where eyes should be. Bossy, I’m going to have nightmares now while I snooze at my work computer!
wrh says
November 7, 2008 at 2:16 pmIt seems to me that Bossy is the Bravo demographic…or maybe that Bossy’s tv only gets Bravo? Or that Bossy is on the Bravo payroll? Or maybe the B in Bossy stands for Bravo?
sidenote: how does one get to be a millionaire matchmade with the husband one has already chosen…who does not happen to currently be a millionaire? Now THAT’s a show I’d tune in for!
napmom says
November 7, 2008 at 2:46 pmI did see the show when I was home on maternity leave watching daytime television. Is it me or does she look a bit like Monica Lewnisky?
Aimee says
November 7, 2008 at 3:23 pmYa, and doesn’t she suck at dating too? So, her advice…golden!
I am an addict of all shows Bravo.
sometimessophia says
November 7, 2008 at 3:41 pmUgh. Gross! What a waste of time. Losers… all of them Why would you want to watch a bunch of losers?
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
November 7, 2008 at 3:42 pmBrains really aren’t required for what these millionaires are after. Boobs, yes. Brains, no.
Lee says
November 7, 2008 at 5:15 pmBossy, whaddya think it would be like to actually WORK on this show? Yep, that would be me. I’m a semi-retired (actually washed-up because I have 3 kids ages 6 and under) reality tv producer who spent some truly glorious, mind-blowing, whacked out moments with Patti and a talented slew of editors trying to make sense of the mayhem. I guess it worked. Kinda…
I’d tell ya more but someone might kill me.
LOVE your stuff…YOU should be a reality tv star…:-)
Lesley says
November 7, 2008 at 5:37 pmSadly, it doesn’t matter how much money these millionaires have (which is, I’m guessing from what we’re calling them, millions) they can’t buy themselves, or the dating pool of girls or Patti a CLUE.
Or me either, apparently, since I’ve seen every episode. And am very excited to learn from Bossy that there’s a new season on its way. Because nothing says “good TV” like the kind that leaves me FEELING EMPTY INSIDE.
Woot!
Megkathleen says
November 7, 2008 at 6:17 pmI love the one where she yells at the girl about her hair too. NOBODY LIKES A GIRL WITH CURLY HAIR. Man, she’s funny. And she’s always asking for more cleavage. Love it.
ms. changes pants while driving says
November 7, 2008 at 6:34 pmomg, i loveHATEloveLOVE this show. it’s TURRRRIBLE. second season, hi!
oh, and bossy would do well to remember that not all women carry their brains in their skulls. some of them carry their brains in their bras and lips.
Sharon in Texas says
November 7, 2008 at 7:50 pmThis is the stupidest show ever. And, I have seen every episode multiple times.
The sad thing is she herself would not meet the standards she sets. Her standards are pretty goofy and random anyway.
Jenn @ Juggling Life says
November 7, 2008 at 8:01 pmDid Bossy read the Salon article on the director of programming for Bravo. Very interesting.
That last one was not the Angelina Jolie look-alike, was she? If Bossy thinks so, Bossy needs to schedule an eye exam.
sista #2 says
November 7, 2008 at 8:02 pmThe trash they put on TV these days…..
Thanks for the tip……gonna go set my TIVO in case I miss it.
peace
#2
Cheri @ Blog This Mom! says
November 7, 2008 at 8:46 pmMy wife’s head just exploded.
kate says
November 7, 2008 at 8:49 pmcheri’s right, my head did just explode.
ShallowGal says
November 7, 2008 at 9:04 pmHow did I miss this show? Too busy watching Date my Ex, I guess.
xoxo, SG
Eloise says
November 7, 2008 at 9:10 pmThe lady in that last picture looks more like Joan Rivers than Angelina Jolie. Scary.
joodyb says
November 7, 2008 at 11:09 pmdear bossy,
you have done the pop-culch universe a trudat service with your dissection of the stangest i mean strangest reality show of all time i don’t care what they come up with next.
i will be tivo’g the first episode of the new season (wkg at airtime whenevah all the night time um yeah) because who doesn’t love a good midair jet crash when the oaccasion arises so to speak. seriously i can’t just can’t stop any suggestions?
much obamalove,
j
heart shaped hedges says
November 7, 2008 at 11:53 pmAt first I thought you had drawn a picture of ME, and I was so flattered. I only wish I would have thought up the idea for that business!
Heidi says
November 8, 2008 at 12:03 amOkay, the Patti Stranger/Stanger comment was seriously the funniest thing ever written, especially because my vodka-addled mind kept reading it as Patti red-lined Stranger, Patti Not-redlined-Stranger.
Seriously, no matter how you spell it, she is STRANGE.
(My girlfriends think it is the best idea in the world for me to attempt to join this “Club.” I’m pretty sure I need new friends who think I am worthy of something other than nerdy, socially challenged, rich nerds.)
Clio Bluestocking says
November 8, 2008 at 2:17 amWow. Those smart women have really big “brains.”
Renee says
November 8, 2008 at 10:37 amBossy should also check out such reality shows as Real Housewives of Atlanta and Flipping Out, if Bossy really wants to be entertained.
The Redheaded Lefty says
November 9, 2008 at 2:03 pmThis show is crazy. I watched it once and felt like I had opened my head and poured the leftover halloween candy in—the candy that sucks that no one wants—and my brain rotted. It is utter filth, and oh so entertaining. In a way that is weird.
Stephanie says
November 11, 2008 at 12:27 amBossy,
I thought I was the only one watching this. I am so glad I have a counterpart. You have accurately captured the essence, er, I mean CRAZINESS of this show. And yet, I cannot turn it off.
amberstar says
November 11, 2008 at 11:45 amIsn’t that like pandering or pimping or something gross. It is a show not to my taste based on your review. I wonder if the millionaires are still millionaires now with all the stock market grief and if the “smart girls” are still interested in these guys if they aren’t the millionaires anymore.