Yesterday Bossy decided to clean off her desktop, where desktop equals not a desk, or a top — but rather this:
Raise your hand if you know one of those annoying people who create too many folders for stuff they will never use and yet they store those folders right there on the cluttered desktop, gumming up the bandwidth? Put your hand down, Bossy’s husband:
So there Bossy was, cleaning off her desktop — where cleaning isn’t really cleaning but rather staring for long periods of time and then napping — when Bossy discovered a little folder she’ll call Kathy Griffin. Because that’s what it said:
Now: Bossy loves her some Kathy Griffin, and in Bossy’s humble opinion Bossy and Kathy Griffin have many things in common, for instance
Bossy is funny Bossy has gays Bossy’s mom is also a wino!
And in this folder marked Cathy Griffon Kathy Griffin were lots and lots of photos. Bossy isn’t sure what Bossy had in mind when she collected all these photos because of a little thing Bossy likes to call lead poisoning, but Bossy is going to post the photos anyway so she can remove them from her desktop and into her trash can, where trash can isn’t really a trash can and who needs a shot of rum in their coffee?
Let’s begin. First we have this photo:
Bossy doesn’t know what she was going to say about this photo, but hair hair hair hair hair hair hair. Next up we have this:
Bossy isn’t sure, but Bossy was probably going to WHAT IS UP WITH THIS HAIR?
The next hair disaster photo from The Kathy Griffin Files is this:
OK, so maybe this isn’t so much a disaster. But Bossy wants you to know she took the Photoshop blur tool to Kathy’s face, because Bossy would never agree to post a photo as heinous as the original:
We interrupt this Bossy already in progress for a cute arse alert:
And then there’s this photo:
And this:
And let’s not forget this:
And finally it’s time to present the last photo from the Kathy Griffin files:
Tammy says
December 3, 2008 at 11:33 amIt’s not the hair that gets me – it’s the TEETH. Look at Photo #1 – notice how Hollywood caps are like 1/4″ thick? How in the hell can someone eat a corncob with those choppers? Aren’t the edges supposed to be sharp and then for biting? Ugh – I just hate me some hollywood caps. Give me celebs who kept their real teeth anyday… like Jewel. Ahhh.
Domestic Goddess (in training) says
December 3, 2008 at 11:49 amI personally prefer to look at the skin tone. She is either mostly dead or melanoma waiting to happen. Either way, she should be a walk on for Grey’s Anatomy.
The Domestic Goddess says
December 3, 2008 at 11:55 amGosh she bothers me. The hair. the surgeries. The obnoxious gold-digging, her voice. UGH! Not a fan.
David says
December 3, 2008 at 12:05 pmYou save up unflattering pictures of celebrities?
I don’t feel so bad about my porn now.
Ellie says
December 3, 2008 at 12:07 pmI’m going to have nightmares tonight.
Bossy's Friend Amy says
December 3, 2008 at 12:21 pmMy Dear Friend Bossy, I don’t think you were saving all those photos on your desktop to comment on the hair – I think you were going to comment on the fact that in every photo Kathy Griffin looks like a drag queen.
corrie says
December 3, 2008 at 12:24 pmBossy’s Friend Amy really said it perfectly!
rebekah says
December 3, 2008 at 12:44 pmWhat ~I~ want is one of those blur tools.
Kathy Griffin. Huh. She’s just not on my radar. I mean, today I’ll be all Bossy>Kathy Griffin this, and Bossy>Kathy Griffin that. But usually, like tomorrow…huh. Is she still famous?
Emily says
December 3, 2008 at 12:48 pmI am going to dig my eyes out with spork after seeing the white-brite booty of this D-lister. Oy, oy, oy, that hurt!
MamaMo says
December 3, 2008 at 12:53 pmFeels good to clear out the clutter, eh?!!
Momo Fali says
December 3, 2008 at 12:54 pmI need blur tool surgery. Right now.
Dharmamama says
December 3, 2008 at 1:00 pmToday’s xkcd is right on time for you, Bossy!
http://www.xkcd.com/512/
bossy\'s friend martha says
December 3, 2008 at 1:30 pmAre we sure that Kathy Griffin isn’t a transvestite?
Liz says
December 3, 2008 at 1:33 pmI’ll take that shot of rum in my coffee now.
Half Assed Kitchen says
December 3, 2008 at 1:37 pmOh. My. She looks worse than Meg Ryan.
Stephanie says
December 3, 2008 at 2:02 pmYeah, she bugs me, too.
(and thank God for the blur tool!)
Tuli says
December 3, 2008 at 2:03 pmOh my.
Rum now, please.
karen l says
December 3, 2008 at 2:04 pmI agree – she looks like a transvestite – how can she even smile with all that make up on?
Andrea's Sweet Life says
December 3, 2008 at 2:11 pmI used to LOVE me some Kathy Griffin, but what the hell did she go and do all that stuff to herself for? Minus the blur tool, because, you know, that thing is pretty awesome.
Reef says
December 3, 2008 at 2:14 pmJust: ew.
Grandma J says
December 3, 2008 at 2:28 pmMaybe Bossy shouldn’t have opened that folder. I mean with all the dust and hair. Besides the teeth, it looks like her eyebrows had their own issues.
PunditMom says
December 3, 2008 at 2:39 pmYeah. Eyebrows.
pamela from the dayton time says
December 3, 2008 at 2:43 pmThat was just a lot.
Please don’t do that to me/us ever again.
Thankyouverymuch.
Baby Favorite says
December 3, 2008 at 2:45 pmLike you, I too love Kathy Griffin… saw her live about a year ago and laughed the entire few hours. I think she’s great.
But yeah, the hair. Hmm. I guess it’s comforting to know that even celebrities have their share of bad hair days.
Miss Britt says
December 3, 2008 at 2:45 pmPoor Kathy. Clearly she has not yet learned to embrace her curls.
Someone get that woman a diffuser and an Aveda gift certificate, STAT.
Gigi says
December 3, 2008 at 2:50 pm1. I love love love Kathy Griffin, so I will try to forgive you for making fun of her because I love you too.
2. That heinous picture of Kathy Griffin, the one MINUS the blur tool? That one looks like me, only better. Aging fair skin is a bitch.
3. If I send our Christmas card photo to you will you blur MY wrinkles out?
furiousball says
December 3, 2008 at 3:07 pmKathy always looks misspelled to me, so that totally makes sense
Chicky Chicky Baby says
December 3, 2008 at 3:19 pmFer chrissake.
sometimessophia says
December 3, 2008 at 3:29 pmI think Heloise looks like a drag queen, too. She and Kathy could be “sisters.” Do you stalk people with bad hair or what?
The Other Lisa says
December 3, 2008 at 3:33 pmMiaou.
Auds at Barking Mad says
December 3, 2008 at 5:02 pmThat’s all sorts of nightmare inducing material ya got there! WOWSERS!
*pixie* says
December 3, 2008 at 6:39 pmWhy does the top of her head look so flat?
Beth says
December 3, 2008 at 6:50 pmSo obviously born male. Which is fine, but come on — out with it, for the cause.
Ree (the other one) says
December 3, 2008 at 9:06 pmOh mah holy hell. That’s just scary. But think of all the room Bossy cleared up!
Jenn @ Juggling Life says
December 3, 2008 at 9:18 pmMaybe Kathy Griffin will stumble upon this and then rip Bossy’s blonde highlights in her Bravo act–would that be cool or what?
P.S. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with Bossy’s highlights!
dgm says
December 3, 2008 at 10:14 pmSo I guess I’m one of a lonely few who thinks KG is teh awesome. I don’t so much care what she looks like–a woman brave/shameless enough to drop her drawers on stage for a laugh is the kind of chick I could hang with.
kate says
December 3, 2008 at 10:46 pmnicely done. post from moving a folder from desktop to trash can. what is this blur feature you speak of? where can i get one?
Oh, The Joys says
December 3, 2008 at 10:54 pmUm… I am confused… bossy’s husband has a crush on this person??!! WTH?
clickmom says
December 4, 2008 at 12:06 amI am totally hot (in a non lesbian way) for funny women, so I hope that one day the masses will rise up and celebrate Kathy Griffin for the brilliant comedy she graces us mere straight talking less than hilarious mortals with. And also I hope she finds some kind of peaceful place to be in regards to her hair. Seems to me that you just can’t fight mother nature too much.
Lesley says
December 4, 2008 at 2:35 amBossy is very good with the Photoshop blur tool. If Bossy could follow me around in real life and give me the occasional blur (such as: on every occasion any person looks at me) that would be awesome.
Also? I think Pixie is on to something re: the top of Kathy’s head being really, really flat. I think the woman’s ‘do might be doomed regardless.
Karen (submommy) says
December 4, 2008 at 3:11 amThat woman has been stitched so much and so often I’m fairly certain she’s a quilt.
Michelle says
December 4, 2008 at 9:45 amThat is a very unusual looking woman.
And I love that you have a picture of yourself as your wallpaper.
blackbird says
December 4, 2008 at 9:55 amBossy, you fucking slay me.
Laura says
December 4, 2008 at 2:28 pmI love Kathy Griffin-she is hilarious! That final photo she is definitely channeling Stevie Nicks. But that’s just me……….I’m just sayin’.
edgykay says
December 4, 2008 at 2:58 pmWell, then.
I had no idea she was so wrinkly. And oldish.
Her arse, though? I’d settle for one something like that, instead of the ax-handle and a half that I currently sport.
Ali B. says
December 5, 2008 at 10:50 amOh. Mah. Gah. I need the photoshop blur, big time!
Enough with the hatin’ on KG. She’s funny, she’s ballsy. I like her. She looks like Jennifer Aniston in the last photo. Just more buxom.
JJ says
December 5, 2008 at 4:00 pmKathy is so cool. Luv her. Funny ass beotch.
Jason says
December 5, 2008 at 11:56 pmI love her, too. I don’t know why, but I just assumed ALL Bossy readers would just automatically love Kathy as well. Hmmm. Guess not!
But the question I really have is. . . does Bossy really like her?
Dorothy Stahlnecker says
December 7, 2008 at 3:15 pmI’d delete the file and start over she has to have better photo days. Poor thing..someone should talk with her about lighting.
Dorothy from grammology
grammology.com
Meg says
December 7, 2008 at 11:02 pmUm, wow… check out those wrinkles! Not to be catty, but… MEOW!