Maybe it wasn’t such a swell idea to introduce the New Year’s Eve custom Bossy had seen hours earlier while prostrate watching The Poseidon Adventure.
In one of the opening scenes of the movie, the SS Poseidon’s passengers gather in the dining room to celebrate New Year’s Eve by singing Auld Lang Syne, which they accomplish while holding hands in one continuous human ribbon that weaves around the hall. And not just regular hand holding, but this style:
Bossy thought this would be a neat thing to incorporate into her friend Martha’s New Year’s Eve party, even if the smallish guest list didn’t quite produce a ribbon effect as much as, maybe, a rib.
So why wasn’t this a good idea? Because the SS Poseidon capsizes at the conclusion of Auld Lang Syne, ass over head—much like Bossy did after Martha’s party flickered into the past tense.
Here are just a couple of reasons the SS Bossy capsized:
While looking through digital photo files, Bossy found this picture of her daughter and niece taken a few hours ago in 2003 — and they still had Chiclet teeth.
And small creamy heads:
Meanwhile, Bossy’s 2003 head? At the time she was trying to manage her own hair with a series of random buns pulled at odd angles all over her head. Bossy used to refer to these as her nubs.
Bossy is capsizing because her nubs and the chiclet teeth and the Krispy Kreme hat were just breaths ago, where breaths equal six years. And she’s capsizing because she hasn’t learned this decade yet, and because she still doesn’t even know what to call this decade, except maybe the ohhhhhs, as in Ohhhh Won’t It Be Weird To Live In The 2010s?
Gramps saysJanuary 5, 2009 at 12:53 pm
Rainy day here in California so I thought I would just take a minute to thank Bossy for being Bossy.
Mr Farty saysJanuary 5, 2009 at 12:55 pm
The Auld Lang Syne photo – is Bossy holding the camera in her chicklet teeth?
Reeb saysJanuary 5, 2009 at 1:04 pm
Time keeps going faster and faster. My head is spinning from it. Just wait’ll you’re Reeb’s venerable old age… then you’ll have whole decades you don’t remember.
In the early 1900’s, they called that first decade the “aught’s” in a genteel Brit fashion. Dunno what we’ll call ours, but personally I”m looking forward to 2011 (twenty-eleven, not two-thousand-eleven) because that is my childhood home address.
Floyd saysJanuary 5, 2009 at 1:05 pm
Some of us have grown up and still have Chicklet teeth. While cute on youngsters, not as appealing on us not-so-youngsters.
Happy New Year, Bossy!
MariaV saysJanuary 5, 2009 at 1:09 pm
I’m feeling rather Meh because I have lost several years of this single digit decade. WTF!
The Domestic Goddess saysJanuary 5, 2009 at 1:20 pm
I just wanna know what they are gonna do with the new year’s glasses, now that it will be 2010. You can’t make a lense out of a one…
Karen (Submommy) saysJanuary 5, 2009 at 1:26 pm
I feel ya. Six years ago – 2003, I was WAITING for the chiclet teeth to arrive. I swear it was 5 minutes ago.
I have no memory of 2005 at all.
Lizzy saysJanuary 5, 2009 at 1:31 pm
Since I started having babies in 1999 and proceeded to gestate for six more years, I have to say that I wasn’t aware we had made it into the 2000s. Hmm. I’d better change my calendar.
zenmomma saysJanuary 5, 2009 at 1:42 pm
You’re so right, 2003 was a lifetime ago just yesterday. How the hell did I get this old?
Maria saysJanuary 5, 2009 at 1:46 pm
oh, i feel your pain.We’ve been perusing thru old photos and such…and I keep thinking “this happened yesterday…but the photo says 2002…” and your time line…yes, yes, i hear you. I must now go weep for the decade that wasn’t….
Ree (the other one) saysJanuary 5, 2009 at 2:36 pm
I thought about Bossy as I was helping Shortman fill out college applications – right before I capsized myself.
dgm saysJanuary 5, 2009 at 2:36 pm
My 5 y.o. just lost another front chiclet tooth, so now he’s got the gaping maw. Last night he asked me to homeschool him so that he can stay with me all day, every day. Awwwwwwww. I suppose he’ll be singing a different tune in 5 years.
ashley saysJanuary 5, 2009 at 2:54 pm
Many lost years. How do we remember them? Ugh.
Andrea's Sweet Life saysJanuary 5, 2009 at 2:57 pm
I went through the “nub” phase myself, fortunately for only like 5 seconds according to your timeline.
Stephanie saysJanuary 5, 2009 at 3:08 pm
Well, when you put it that way… crap, it’s 2009?!?!
Reeb saysJanuary 5, 2009 at 3:08 pm
By the way, what does “auld lang syne” mean? And why do we sing it on New Year’s Eve??
the cheap chick saysJanuary 5, 2009 at 3:14 pm
Heck, I still feel like it’s the 80’s. I heard a Cyndi Lauper tune the other day and started jamming out, and the kids were like “who is this old lady, and what are these strange archaic sounds she is dancing to?”
junebug saysJanuary 5, 2009 at 3:32 pm
Bossy has nice arms and hands! 😀
ilinap saysJanuary 5, 2009 at 3:33 pm
I just wrote 2009 on a check today for the first time and almost crapped right there in the preschool hallway. And yes, I still write checks. Don’t hate me because I hate Wachovia, who makes online banking painfully difficult.
Andi saysJanuary 5, 2009 at 3:40 pm
And I thought my sister and I were the only ones who referred to baby teeth as “chiclet teeth”!!
Domestic Goddess (in training) saysJanuary 5, 2009 at 4:14 pm
I make it a point never to do anything remarkably simiar to the Poseidon Adventure as it didn’t work out too well for the bulk of the cast.
clickmom saysJanuary 5, 2009 at 4:34 pm
When I was a kid I realized I would turn 35 in 2000. I figured my eerily old self would have one foot in the grave so far in teh future in the year 2000 so I never thought much past that nice round number.
Florida Liz saysJanuary 5, 2009 at 4:52 pm
I don’t quite remember when I changed from a month was forever to a month is… a blink. Maybe as our brains fill with history it pushes the present into a smaller corner of the mind. I like your timeline though…spot on !!
Lance saysJanuary 5, 2009 at 5:12 pm
Mama don’t take my Kodachrome away! How old am I again? I can remember PINs SS# Phone# Passwords, but I can’t remember S@$T! and I can’t remember my age.
Lovelyn saysJanuary 5, 2009 at 5:32 pm
Bossy’s daughter and niece are so cute with their little Chiclet teeth.
There’s nothing wrong with nubs. I get a little nubbing every now and again.
Manic Mommy saysJanuary 5, 2009 at 6:42 pm
Maybe you could watch The Towering Inferno for some other fun party moments?
PS I’ve been thinking that this is the last year we’ll call it “two thousand and..” Next year, I think we’ll all be all ‘twenty-ten”.
HeyJoe saysJanuary 5, 2009 at 6:44 pm
It’s all going to fast. Is there anyway to slow down the ride?
Baby Favorite saysJanuary 5, 2009 at 6:47 pm
I like the window frame you have in your hair with the nubs.
Oh, wait. That’s not in your hair. Nevermind.
Kelly at The Glass Dragonfly saysJanuary 5, 2009 at 6:57 pm
2007 was yesterday!! I swear.
sometimessophia saysJanuary 5, 2009 at 7:16 pm
I was 16 when I took my 12-yr-old brother to the Poseidon Adventure on New Year’s Eve. I remember it because our parents were at a party and the house had been broken into while my brother and I were at the movie. Very scary. The place was trashed and I had to call the police from the neighbor’s house. The cops arrived and one of the officers carried what looked like a sawed-off shotgun. Lesson learned: the Poseidon Adventure carries bad karma like fleas on a debutante.
David saysJanuary 5, 2009 at 7:20 pm
Clickmom, I too remember being in grade school and calculating how old I’d be in 2000. I pictured an office job, wife, kids and a house in the suburbs, just like my folks. Oh well, one out of four.
We are the same age by the way.
Nellyfrittata saysJanuary 5, 2009 at 7:39 pm
The older you get, the faster it goes. Remember how long it took to grow up? Seemed like forEVer!
Ellie saysJanuary 5, 2009 at 7:40 pm
I really love this, for two reasons.
One, I always say “two thousand nine” never “oh-nine”, but I do not know what to call this decade — which is almost over — either.
My father-in-law always said “ass over teakettle”. Which is *much* more interesting and silly to say. You should try it. I guarantee fun
Bossy\'s Friend Martha\'s Sister saysJanuary 5, 2009 at 8:15 pm
1999 first daughter born, 2002 second daughter…. 2009 still losing pregnancy weight and baby 1 says she is turning double digits this year…. WAHHHAT?????
Kay Bryan saysJanuary 5, 2009 at 8:19 pm
you make me laugh! your timeline is so true.
hey, i like that I could read your whole post and didn’t have to click to go to another page. yes, I am lazy, yes I am.
Peg saysJanuary 5, 2009 at 9:59 pm
I’m still sittin’ here with my gallon jugs of water, canned food and duct tape for Y2K. Whut happen?
Chesapeake Bay Woman saysJanuary 5, 2009 at 11:08 pm
My glory you’re hilarious. Simply hilarious. And also brilliant: “flickered into the past tense” is something that would probably take me 20 years to think of. What a great way to end a Monday, by laughing.
Chesapeake Bay Woman saysJanuary 5, 2009 at 11:13 pm
btw – I don’t mean that your girl growing up is hilarious – of course not – rather I am talking mainly about the last two pictures with nubs and timelines.
g saysJanuary 5, 2009 at 11:48 pm
Oh, I am so sorry. Perhaps it marks me a person of my generation.
But everytime I see, read, or hear about “The Poseidon Adventure,” my brain immediately replaces the title with that of the Mad Magzazine parody, “The Poop-Side-Down Adventure.”
yaya2three saysJanuary 6, 2009 at 12:48 am
Time goes faster and faster. When I was young I thought about “wow, in 2000 I’ll be FIFTY!” Like how can I EVER be that old??? That’s come and gone and Thank You God, I’m still here but the time is really rollin fast now. We just had our 40th (!!!) anniversary and our BABY is about to be 37!!! Where has it gone?? How can I have a 14 year old granddaughter when she was just born last week and we looked so deeply in each other’s eyes!!! Slow down, Time! I’m not done lookin yet!….sniff
Lisa saysJanuary 6, 2009 at 2:32 am
That movie scared the bejesus out of me, saw it with my mom and dad AT THE DRIVE IN…No cruises for me…ever ever eva!!
Say What? saysJanuary 6, 2009 at 2:47 am
“Time keeps on slippin, slippin, slippin
Into the future
Time keeps on slippin, slippin, slippin
Into the future” (name that tune!)
At first I thought bossy was going to say she rawked the boots such as those worn by the passengers on the Poseidon – check out the chick behind Pamela Sue Martin.
But yeah, where did 2000-whatever go??? My son turned double digits this past year and my daughter will turn 7 in a month. I will be married 14 years this year…this is too weird!!
Lee the MWOB Queen saysJanuary 6, 2009 at 3:27 am
Oh geez, Ree’s comment about college applications is giving me heart palpitations.
The graphic aids on this post are simply awesome.
And I LOVE The Poseidon Adventure and that criss-cross hand-holding, I’m gonna implement that too. Like tomorrow. At breakfast.
Oh, Bossy. Time flies. But oh aren’t you having fun???
Hula Hank saysJanuary 6, 2009 at 4:52 am
Down here the 00’s (as in 2000s) are called the naughties.
JonDad saysJanuary 6, 2009 at 6:32 am
Ahem..I think perhaps it’s better to have never nubbed before..
Rick's Cafe saysJanuary 6, 2009 at 9:33 am
I was thinking more along the lines of Pink Floyd, “…10 years have past you by….”.
Would love to bottle the ability to make a summer vacation ‘last forever’.
Ms. Karen saysJanuary 6, 2009 at 12:42 pm
No! Wait! What??? It’s 2009??? When the hell did THAT happen?
meleah rebeccah saysJanuary 6, 2009 at 5:10 pm
I still think its 1998 too.
Kisa saysJanuary 7, 2009 at 11:13 am
How happy does it make me that no one’s answered your existential decade naming question? It’s the Noughties. Isn’t that just *marvy*? The Noughties.
Which I discovered about, oh, two weeks ago.