Bossy has been navigating through a bumpy patch the past bit of time. She feels like she’s pushing a boulder uphill, through a freezing blizzard of blistering heat, with no shoes, which are too tight.
For one thing, Bossy is still feeling the growing pains associated with moving her blog from one host to another. Gah knows Bossy made her readers endure, in detail, the pain and suffering associated with combing three years of archives for nits — just like her readers had to endure the bedtime story of how three years of Bossy’s incoming links were broken, causing her blog’s rank to fall through a hole in the sub-floor.
But it gets worse.
Remember back on December 21st at Oh-Holy-Hell-p.m. when Bossy finally cancelled the account with her original blog host, TypePad, because she didn’t want her blog traffic diverted to two different locations?
And remember how worried Bossy was about canceling this account since she had been their loyal customer for three years? Silly Bossy! It turns out there was nothing to fear, where nothing equals a chucklehead swooped in and purchased her iambossy.typepad.com domain name and is now selling firearms on her old site.
Raise your hand if you imagined a scenario that included TypePad selling a domain name as ridiculous as iambossy.typepad.com the very hour Bossy abandoned it. TypePad, put your hand down.
Bossy is discouraged and disappointed by this stunt, and lately she finds herself uninspired and staring at her computer monitor wondering what to write about.
And it’s during these very uninspired moments, Bossy often wonders, What Would Poohie Do?
If you are plagued by a problem or question and wonder What Would Poohie Do?, email Bossy today and she’ll be sure to ask him.
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
January 15, 2009 at 8:08 pmDear Poohie,
Please pour Bossy a glass of wine the size of Lake Tahoe and then go out and find her some new boyfriends and husbands. If you can get her out of the house for a bit to find these husbands, all the better.
She needs a change of scenery to take her mind off the doldrums that are plaguing and demotivating the entire Eastern Seaboard (with the highest concentration of said doldrums hovering and stalled over the state of Virginia).
If you can’t do any of the above, perhaps a trip to see her Italian Boyfriend in New YOrk is in order. Surprise her with a gift certificate and train fare, with an allowance for meals and incidentals, where incidentals = dollar bills for strip clubs.
This should take her mind off her woes and provide many days of inspiration.
p.s. if it doesn’t work for her, could you do it for me? I know it will work for me.
Jules says
January 15, 2009 at 8:17 pmDear Poohie,
I am delurking because this is an important issue for me. I have asked the 8 ball. I have visited The Oracle. I have drunk casks upon casks of wine and still no answer.
Poohie, I have a job I should love, but I don’t. I asked for it. I bought a business. It is not working out. This has happened with the last three jobs I have had. What I really want to do is write, and I think my fiance is on-board to let me try to do that full time. Is it worth the risk? What if I suck at it?
Please Poohie. Please. What would you do?
Love
Jules
clickmom says
January 15, 2009 at 8:29 pmDear Poohie,
How can a teeny tiny little blogger such as myself inspire a blogging hero such as bossy to get together for lunch, or coffee, or some other girl (not stalker or in way weird or psycho) thing to do during the day when the kids are in school?
Thanks for your help.
Cass says
January 15, 2009 at 8:33 pmOh Almighty Pooh, what would you do? If your 18 year old son needed money to get himself some new front teeth cuz he knocked out the nice two he had playing rugby? What if you also had an 11 year old son, and neither of said sons had been on a cool vacation before? And what if their very cool mom really wanted to take them someplace nice to make those oh-so-special memories before the 18 year old won’t come anymore? And if their single mom finally had enough money? But not enough for both teeth and disneyland? Oh Pooh, what to do? Go see the mouse and leave son with falsies for another year or so? or get the mega titanium stinking implants now and wait on the mouse?
kristin says
January 15, 2009 at 8:41 pmI’m really failing to see ANY connection between an iambossy domain name and . . . firearms. And I have a pretty good imagination.
Could you ask Poohie what he would do if one of his chickens insisted on laying her eggs right by the door of the coop, where they freeze, instead of in the nice nesting box built specifically for that purpose? Or is Poohie strictly an urban advice guru?
Reeb says
January 15, 2009 at 8:51 pmDear Poohie,
You are so world-traveled and have had so much fun and yet you look sort of glum sitting there in front of your laptop. Sort of dispirited. I am so sorry.
Poohie, I don’t have any burning questions right now but I really like Chesapeake Bay Woman’s suggestions. For Bossy too.
KD @ A Bit Squirrelly says
January 15, 2009 at 8:59 pmI have a question for Poohie, So I will e-mail that to you.
Oh and I agree, the first round of suggestions were wonderful. Good luck.
Linda_M says
January 15, 2009 at 9:05 pmI the Poohie pictures!! I wish he/she/it would come and work my computer for me.
Linda_M says
January 15, 2009 at 9:07 pmuh-oh – somehow I left out the most important work – I *love* (LOVE) the Poohie pictures!
Obviously, I *do* need Poohie on my computer. Left to my own devices, I am apparently both incompetant and an idiot.
prefers her fantasy life says
January 15, 2009 at 9:11 pmWhy oh why Poohie is Our John Cusack still single?
Cheri @ Blog This Mom! says
January 15, 2009 at 9:17 pmChucklehead isn’t Bossy. Bossy is Bossy. So be Bossy.
Bloom where you’re planted.
Cat@MyNameIsCat says
January 15, 2009 at 9:17 pmDear Poohie, I was going to ask you if I should move my blog from Blogspot to another host, but I kinda think I know what your answer would be.
ape yes says
January 15, 2009 at 9:20 pmIf Pooh had opposable thumbs he would select “Menu>>Apple>>shutdown” and have a Honey Martini. As Honey Martini is not only a drink but the name of a local stripper, that last sentence has multiple meanings and would leave Pooh wishing more than ever for those opposable thumbs.
jen says
January 15, 2009 at 9:27 pmBossy, I lurv you. I truly, truly lurv you.
When I was 7, my best friend Laura Niven and I were joined at the hip to our alter-egos, Curious George(me) and Pooh Bear(her). They went on adventures. They were sassy. They called our Mammas by their first names, Nella and Lee. They were in love with Cloris Leachman(George) and Betty White(Pooh).
I still have George. He’s sans ears and red, smiley mouth now. He’s been chewed by my college roommate’s doberman puppy, Sebastian and had his fluffy guts strewn about our house. He’s had several skin grafts and lipo-injections to various parts of his monkeh body.
Poohie will comfort and counsel you. Poohie will make it all better. If Poohie could, he would kick Chucklehead’s smarmy ass.
Catherine McP says
January 15, 2009 at 9:34 pmPoohie, go give Bossy a big bear hug, Also I got this damn freaking cricket in my house that will be the end of me..please tell me bears can locate and eat, or put an end to annoying crickets that should not be inside homes. Also tell her that the Eagles will be in the Superbowl.
Emily Rebekah says
January 15, 2009 at 9:38 pmDear Poohie,
How do I convince people to donate money to Junior Achievement on my blog? Since Bossy obviously got the advice on how to raise funds for her Excellent Road Trip from you?
Emily
karen says
January 15, 2009 at 9:47 pmDid I not just announce that I was shutting down my blog, maybe reinventing it later? Eeegads. (…and it’s NOT because I am going to prison … who keeps saying that??!) Maybe the sub-zero temperatures are freezing our brain cells, Bossy? Like kryptonite to our creativity? I’m going to have some wine and sleep on all of this. Bossy! slap, slap. Get a hold of yourself!! You are BOSSY, dammit, and don’t ever forget it!
Smalltown Mom says
January 15, 2009 at 9:49 pmPoohie, you might want to know I found a very small Piglet in the street gutter and I washed him and am taking care of him right now. In case he was your friend. He gives me advice while I wash dishes.
teri says
January 15, 2009 at 9:52 pmPoohie is ADORABLE and I want to kiss his mouth off, as well.
Also, I think the winter taps all creative energy because so many bloggers just “aren’t feeling it” lately.
Smooches to you Bossy. You’ll find it again.
Manic Mommy says
January 15, 2009 at 9:58 pmIt sucks, Bossy but don’t let it get to you! Barack Oboyfriend will ban firearms and all will be well.
Lizzy says
January 15, 2009 at 10:04 pmPoohie? What would you do if you found on your nine year old daughter’s door a sign that said “Mom is evil” and then had two hearts on it with “X’s” on them? And this because I said she had to stop playing and do homework. Should I
A: cry, B:feel proud that she sees the inner me or C: see A ?
Amysprite says
January 15, 2009 at 10:13 pmWhen I am uninspired with my own life, I always look to others… either in movies, books, gossip… and then delve into past memories and try to string them together in way that helps me understand how I got to be me. But I’m sure that Poohie knew that already….
so NOT cool says
January 15, 2009 at 10:24 pmWell, that was a crappy ass thing for someone to do. And, I thought that typepad would at least retain your name, if not forever, then for a certain period of time. (If for no other reason than people sometimes leave a blogging platform and then decide to return, so it’d be nice to use the same name.)
I’m just stupified over this. It’s like a mystery, how quickly it all happened. Do they have an “abandoned typepads now available” list somewhere?! (rhetorical)
Chicky Chicky Baby says
January 15, 2009 at 10:29 pmCan I borrow Poohie? I could use a lovie right now. Oh, but you’re probably taking advantage of his services. Drat.
Fer chrissake.
Jill says
January 15, 2009 at 10:40 pmDear Poohie,
My 4 month old baby still needs me to rock him to sleep. He likes to nurse for about 1 hr before going to bed. Part of me thinks I need to savor these precious moments; part of me is ready for him to learn to go to sleep on his own. He’ll be my last baby. He’s a sweetheart the rest of the time. Thoughts?
pamela from the dayton time says
January 15, 2009 at 10:41 pmDear Poohie,
I would really like some advice on how to get my neighbor to wear clothes. You see, he’s about 5’9″ tall, and weighs about, well, enough that he can still walk around. But also enough that his belly covers up the front of his Speedo (from April-November only, he wears a shirt the rest of the year). He’s all wrinkle-y and balding and has spent WAY too much time in a tanning bed. He also has a love for the pressure-washer, not that it has anything to do with his Speedo-covering Dunlop, or the fact that every time I look out my front window, his collie is pooping in my general direction.
Anyway, that’s my situation. If anyone knows what to do, I’m sure it’s you.
chantel says
January 15, 2009 at 11:20 pmDear Poohie,
Me too!! Please help.
Thanks
Bossy\'s Friend Martha\'s Sister says
January 15, 2009 at 11:21 pmWell, I am so glad that Bossy prevails! Poohie (and Martha… and Amie and Bossy Family and Friends) thanks for hanging in there! Cause I really look forward to reading you every day with or with out the //// that I just can’t seem to get rid of in my “name” . Poohie you r cute like bossy and mean well and are worth all the hard work. Peace to all! All is well!Your Auntie Bev Anne
vuboq says
January 15, 2009 at 11:43 pmVUBOQ apologizes for swooping in and purchasing iambossy.typepad.com (it was So CHEAP!) and then turning it into a site to sell Weapons of Mass Destruction, but he’s unemployed and has to make money somehow.
VUBOQ hopes BOSSY will find it in her heart to forgive him.
*smooches*
Cindy Z says
January 16, 2009 at 12:55 amPoor Bossy, I think we should ask Poohie his thoughts on getting out of debt. I am sure he would handle all this better then me!
Lesley says
January 16, 2009 at 1:33 amApparently there is no Typepad Hall of Fame or surely they would have immediately retired your blog name. And then had a Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony where we could all come and cheer you on.
Poohie tugs at my heart strings. He has had a very rich and very lovely life.
Rebecca says
January 16, 2009 at 1:39 amOkay.. the Poohie thing reminds me of this song we saw on the Disney closed circuit T.V. during vacation at Disney.
“What does Pooh do that you shouldn’t do?”
(and we’re thinking Winnei the Pooh doesn’t do anything inappropriate..there’s nothing he would do we shouldn’t do..then the answer)
“The No Pants Dance. No Pants No Pants.”
Sorry.. you brought up what would Poohie do.. I couldn’t help it.
apathy lounge says
January 16, 2009 at 2:16 amA haiku for Poohie
Gaze with button eyes
–oh, wise one who is much loved–
on our hearts and smile
Kelly at The Glass Dragonfly says
January 16, 2009 at 3:03 amPoohie is a-freakin-dorable. Poor thing looks sad. So sad…but well loved.
Damn. This is at least the third post in the last few months where you have posed a question that brought me to tears and has left me unable to post a coherent response.
Dara says
January 16, 2009 at 6:48 amThat sucks.
Hang in there, Bossy. Don’t give up…give Poohie a hug and have a jug-o-wine.
Echidna girl says
January 16, 2009 at 7:43 amDear Poohie –
Mortgages: Refinance now or do you think rates will go down further? Your opinion greatly appreciated.
Deborah Non Blogger says
January 16, 2009 at 7:59 amI love Poohie.
When I was young I had a fleecy lamb called Boo Boo. He eventually got so flat that he just disapeared completely. (…or disintegrated in the wash)
Come back Boo Boo!
Just sharing.
Becca says
January 16, 2009 at 8:03 amDear Poohie
I think your big brother lives at my house, and when I am sad I hug him and he tells me everything is going to be ok.
Maybe Bossy should give Poohie a hug and he’ll tell her the same,
Love from the UK xxxx
Linda says
January 16, 2009 at 9:34 amDear Poohie,
Bossy seems to have the blues now that she’s embraced her destiny as a genius writer and humorist (and she is! If she forgot, remind her, kay?)
Bossy sounded happy in her posts where she talked about volunteering in her community for causes she believes in. Building sets for her daughter’s plays. Campaigning for Barack O’Boyfriend. Maybe Bossy can look around and find a new cause to believe in. And gather lots of stories at the same time! http://www.volunteermatch.org
At the very least dear Poohie, give her a hug for us and let her know that winter ends and then there’s all that gardening to do and a house full of kids just after you get used to having the house to yourself.
Loves and hugs!
Linda
Rich Mama says
January 16, 2009 at 9:43 amin lieu of snarky poohie comment, let me just say that firearms dude sucks. good news: people looking for bossy will immediately know they’re in the wrong room. Sure firearm dude will get some of your traffic but i don’t think very many of them will be in need of stuff that kills people. stuffed animals, maybe. Guns, no.
MariaV says
January 16, 2009 at 9:51 amThat really sucks. Hang in there!
Dear Poohie:
I have the winter blues and it is only mid-January.
What would you do, Poohie, to chase away the blues?
Love,
Maria
furiousball says
January 16, 2009 at 10:08 ampoohie has a kick ass laptop btw
ashley says
January 16, 2009 at 10:14 amPoohie does look sad, so I am sending him a hug.
Also, how naive am I? I thought a domain name would have a no-contest period where it would lay dormant, like, for 6 months or something? Where do I come up with these crazy ideas? Poohie? Where?
Second a few thoughts I read and would like to buy Bossy a glass of wine.
Dharmamama says
January 16, 2009 at 10:51 amI don’t have a question for poohie just yet, but I do have something for you, Bossy! My friend Mary, of Zenmomma’s Garden, created an icon and prayer for moments such as this:
http://zenmommasgarden.blogspot.com/2008/12/bloggers-prayer.html
Hope Gladys helps.
pkzcass says
January 16, 2009 at 11:22 amPoohie, tell Bossy that it’s the perfect time of year to bundle up, walk the neighborhood, look into people’s houses (now that the trees are bare and it’s darker outside than inside), take some pics, and do a post on that. Remind her that she e-mailed me personally (I’ll never wash my computer again!) to say she might do this one day. That day has come!
Debby says
January 16, 2009 at 11:28 amDear Poohie,
After surveying hundreds of houses for rent at vrbo.com we’ve narrowed it down to 4. HOW does one choose from that short list? Price, niceness of e-mail exchange, Sat to Sat versus Sun to Sun stays? ARGH!
Love always,
Your friend.
dawnydee says
January 16, 2009 at 11:37 amHmm …WWOD?? (What would Oprah do?) I believe she would say that we are “inspired” when we are “in spirit” so you might want to do things that are aligned with your authentic self. I usually reach out to a friend – I have one who ALWAYS makes me laugh and I’m sure you have several. Get the local paper and see what “free” events are out there – and plan an adventure for you and a pal. Sure its cold and your home looks pretty darn cozy, but walking among the unwashed masses can be fodder for much blog material.
Maybe you could consider listening to some old classics – “Billy don’t be a hero”esque stuff. Perhaps some, “I don’t like spiders or snakes” or “Watching Scotty Grow”. Thanks to the internet there are many bizarre songs from the 70s to ridicule. Note – this will not bring you “in spirit” but it could provide some chuckles and maybe even a snort.
As for how Poohie could help me, I would love to get some of her/his sage advice on …. aging gracefully. I shoveled snow 4 times this week and I am now walking around like a crippled old woman. This 47 yr old body has really begun to protest and I just cant do the things I could even 5 yrs ago.
Laura says
January 16, 2009 at 11:40 amI have a Poohie of my own…he’s 47 now! (But his name is Flopsie.) However, he is as full of sage advice as Poohie is.
Annie says
January 16, 2009 at 12:28 pmdear Poohie,
In the last 2 years, my husband has been (in the following order) unemployed, back-to-school to get a new career that didn’t work, and finally nagged by his desperate, freelancer (freelance as in job security??? what job security???) wife into taking crappy, unfulfilling, low-paying jobs.
should we keep said crappy jobs, light a candle in hope that something better comes along, or just bake a chocolate mousse cake and eat it all with a huge coffee? hmmm… chocolate mousse.
Mandy says
January 16, 2009 at 12:46 pmDear Poohie,
Why is it that I have many things to ponder, many questions to ask, many problems needing solved, but all I can think about is the fact that you have been to more countries than I? Three more to be exact. It is quite depressing Poohie that a small raggedy bear could be better travelled than myself.
Lisa says
January 16, 2009 at 1:07 pmI have a friend who has a blog and she just got plain burned out on writing. She tried having guest bloggers and it worked for a little bit, but her fans just wanted her. I totally understand the burn out, so maybe Bossy should take a little break. We would all understand.
I love Poohie. I think we should all take pictures of our well loved bears and send them to you so that you can see that you are not alone……….
operagal says
January 16, 2009 at 1:07 pmDear Poohie –
you are loved.
that is all.
OG
David says
January 16, 2009 at 1:25 pmDear Poohie,
Please get off the computer so Bossy can get back to work. This inaction is clearly making her morose and sluggish.
Also tell her that a friend used to have a blog entitled “Velleity,” and within minutes of his getting rid of the domain, it was snapped up by some Indonesian writing IN Indonesian. Which makes even less sense than what happened to Bossy.
And stop downloading all that porn.
xo
Me
Maria says
January 16, 2009 at 1:37 pmDear Pooh: I disagree with the poster who said that bossy needs a blog break. I wouldn’t get any belly laughs for the day if she did that. What bossy really needs, poohie, and you can tell her this…is: ANOTHER ROAD TRIP!!! Maybe just a small one. To see us. Except it’s cold here.
Poohie, you reminded me of our friend Hammy so I blogged about him today. And remind bossy to tell us about her cabinets with the chicken wire. I will stalk…er…mention it til she does…
Yours truly,
eclecticallyyours
karen l says
January 16, 2009 at 1:43 pmOh please on the typepad thing. Is everything for sale to the highest bidder? If someone sees the poohie post, could he possibly be snatched away as well. Dagnabbit all!
I can’t even begin to imagine how you have come up with all your ideas so far, much less inspire new ones! Although—- I just experienced a church choir reunion wknd – OMG! – there is nothing worse than OLD CHOIR PEOPLE! From the former bass who used to clip.his.nails.during.the.sermon. (seriously) who now dresses like a woman (complete with long yellowed nails) to the guy who had prematurely gray hair the last time (20 yrs ago) and now is sporting a lovely shade of Frieda Kahlo black. Then there’s the woman you absolutely don’t recognize due to the fact that she has BECOME HER MOTHER and looks like she’s the same age as said mother but she’s only 42. Yikes – a real minefield of misidentification. I think Bossy needs a reunion of some sort – high school, college friends, early marriage friends – heck — go all the way back to 7th grade and see how obnoxious that prissy little perfect girl is now!
Baby Favorite says
January 16, 2009 at 1:44 pmDear Poohie,
My daughter has a stuffed Bambi that has been loved flat, too.
Except the way we describe Bambi is not quite as endearing. We refer to him as “Roadkill Bambi.”
Love,
Baby Favorite
Reeb says
January 16, 2009 at 2:06 pmDear Poohie,
Thank you for reminding me of Bear, who went to college and got to know my roommate’s bear Ted, and then they changed their names to “Ted With Buns” (he had a cheek ) and “Ted Without Buns.”
Poohie, there are thousands of questions that we the faithful readers have posted in our comments that we’re all dying to read more about — for example, what Bossy’s mother thought about blah blah I can’t remember but I know I was dying to hear it at some point. Would you read through them all so Bossy doesn’t have to, and find some ideas for her?
Momo Fali says
January 16, 2009 at 2:06 pmNO, NO, NO. That is just wrong. Stupid chucklehead. Thanks for the heads up, though. I will not be heading to Typepad anytime soon.
Reeb says
January 16, 2009 at 2:08 pmDamn, forgot to turn off cybersitter before hitting send.
Ted With Buns had a cheek crack.
And very cute buns.
Ted Without had his own charms, and a corner bitten off his nose in early days by a curious little Reebette.
Liz says
January 16, 2009 at 2:45 pmDear Poohie,
Please let Bossy know that creativity is a trait, either you are or you aren’t. It’s not a talent, so it won’t come and go. (Much as we writers always always fear.) Bossy has plenty of talent on top of that as well, but she should take comfort in knowing she carries creativity in her bones, and while some days are harder than others, it will always, always be there.
Also, Poohie, could you help rid me of the immense guilt I have for moving out on my boyfriend 4 months ago? He really doesn’t know how to handle his own life, but I couldn’t be the one supporting him all the time. His life is falling apart now, (again) and I’m happy and doing well. I know that if I’d stayed, he wouldn’t be having a hard time. But I feel terrible for doing OK, when he’s doing so badly.
Thanks, Poohie.
Bonnie says
January 16, 2009 at 3:01 pmDear Poohie – I think it is time for Poohie’s Excellent Road Trip a la Amelie’s Dad’s garden gnome. Poohie looks tired of being a shut-in and needs to travel to exotic climes!
Liz C says
January 16, 2009 at 3:06 pmDear Poohie,
I think being loved flat and having your mouth kissed off sounds like fun. Was it?
Also, my guy, whom I love like the sun, has a, uh, good amount of debt. I came out of my divorce with no debt, which is a rare and wondrous thing.
My heart really really wants to help my guy get caught up financially but my head really really doesn’t want to use up my little nest egg and/or accumulate debt to do it, which is what it would take. I also want to get married soon but would like the debt to be (mostly) gone first, which will take years.
I am so conflicted. Help!
Andrea's Sweet Life says
January 16, 2009 at 3:22 pmOh Bossy, no you di-in’t just say to email you if I had a problem and wanted to know what would Poohie do.
Because I have a problem, THREE problems, actually, that I’m all tied up in knots about and they aren’t even MY problems, really, they are other people’s problems but they INVOLVE my husband and myself, seemingly more every day, and I’m not allowed to talk about them since technically they are NOT my problems and they are PRIVATE and also I have opinions that I can’t really share because I’m afraid they would be considered RUDE.
So Poohie, would you pay a therapist $100 for an hour of speaking your mind about these issues, just so you could get them off your chest? Or find some bum, buy him a $3 bottle of booze and talk HIS ear off for an hour?
Ms. Cranky Pants says
January 16, 2009 at 3:29 pmOh Poohie, I think our beloved Bossy needs a well-deserved cuddle. TypePad is just E-VIL for selling out, and a swift and ugly karma will surely come their way. Here’s my prescription for Bossy’s doldrums: watch old Cary Grant & Doris Day movies, visit a museum in the middle of the day, wander the bookstore and people-watch, eat cinnamon toast, find a cause to volunteer for, do something that feels risky. But legal of course. Where risky = feel like you’re breaking a rule and no one will find out, such as take the day off from blogging but don’t tell anyone, but only one day, we need you! It won’t always feel like this, I promise; it just does right now. Everything will get better, dear heart. 🙂
Franca Bollo says
January 16, 2009 at 4:33 pmI know exactly what Poohie would do: online Scrabble. That’s what I do. Thank god my clients do not know my pseudonym.
Bossy's Reader says
January 16, 2009 at 4:43 pmDear Bossy,
Cheer up–here’s what’s keeping me going here in the midwest, where today it warmed up to -3 degrees:
Inauguration Day is only 4 days away!! Soon your very own O’Boyfriend will officially take over leadership of our country, and if that’s not a reason to celebrate, then what is? Hang in there hon!
Domestic Goddess (in training) says
January 16, 2009 at 5:30 pmDear Poohie,
I have a 9 year old stepdaughter that is turning me prematurely gray and inflating my addiction to Ben and Jerry’s (as an attempt to stave off addiction to Jose Cuervo). Do you recommend tar and feathering or locking her away until she’s 18? What would you do?
Signed,
So Desperate For Advice After the Magic 8 Ball Let Me Down I Am Asking a Stuffed Person.
Peg says
January 16, 2009 at 5:59 pmFollow the yellow brick road…the wizard and Poohie must be tight and all the answers are there.
One step over the line says
January 16, 2009 at 6:09 pmI don’t know why it occured to me to set down “one step over the line” (sweet Jesus) as my name but it may have something to do with the fact that LOUD country or JUGBAND music or ANYTHING ELSE you can SING ALONG while getting a little RAUCOUS has a tendency to just clear me OUT.
now… one step over the line may be a mondegreen. i don’t know. that’s how i’ve always said it.
here’s the thing: IT DOESN’T REALLY MATTER.
if you can sing it loudly and it causes the closet door of your heart to fly off the hinges, then it’s RIGHT SONG FOR YOU TO SING NOW.
singing.
short answer.
that.
another thing:
many years ago when i would get upset about life or not know what to do
and bear with me becasue this may sound crazy
i would go into my bathroom and look in the mirror
and there would be this old italian lady
with my face on
and she would talk in this crazy not wholly accurate accent
and give me the greatest advice
(probably much like poohy who by the way looks very much like “grey cat” who actually spend AN ENTIRE RAINY SEASON in our neighbor’s yard before we found him in the Spring and snatched him out and washed him up and nestled him rightfully next to my daughter’s heart.)
most of her advice went something like:
donta worry about it… (my name here) you gonna be okay… it’s like when the water builda up before the damna…. eventually it gonna break and you gonna get real, real wet… you gonna get soaked… maybe cold… maybe youra dress gonna look a little bad and your nipples stick out a little too much… though thata canna be a little gooda tooah… anywayuh… you gonna get wettuh… (your name here) and you gonna dry off and (your name here) listen: you gotta treat it like uh one of thosa ridesuh they gottuh at the carnivales… cuz maybe you even gonna throw up a little… but you gonna hava funnuh, toouh… and listen: when your dressah gettah wettuh… stand by someone cutah… itza goodah… idea…
yeah, that’s the sort of thing she would say.
then i would turn off teh bathroom light and go lie down on my pallet on the floor which was where i slept at the time…
and i would go to sleep… or not… sometimes i got back up to make some art or something.
but i definitely felt better.
one step over the line, sweet Jesus… one step over the line.
🙂
Eliza says
January 16, 2009 at 6:19 pmDear Poohie,
On Wednesday my car threw a rod and now needs a new engine. It will cost around $2000. With a running engine, my car is worth…around $2000. I actually have the money in the bank. But it was being saved for a move. Because our rental house is being foreclosed and we must find a new home. It takes quite a bit of money to move: first, last, deposit, etc.
There’s no question here. But just a reminder that we all have issues that we need to talk about. I’m so glad that Bossy has you–and her wonderful, supportive readers–to help her get through the SAD days of winter.
joe says
January 16, 2009 at 6:22 pmUm…yea. I think I’ll stay on this side of the line…I was just gonna say that, being a Typepad user myself, I kind of feel like a douchebag by association.
Lee says
January 16, 2009 at 6:36 pmDear Poohie,
I have to go to a funeral service tonight for a sweet neighbor girl ( 26 with a 6 yr old daughter) who was shot by a controlling boyfiend Monday night. (You may have seen it on the news, Bossy) Poohie, I want to take you with me so that I can tell her she was loved flat and had her lips kissed off. just like you. But I also need you to double yourself…..cause I am not so good at these things since my husband passed. I need to know that I have been loved flat and lips kissed off. And then one more thing………you still need to be with Bossy and make sure she knows that she is loved flat (no pun intended) and will have her lips kissed off. So there you go bossy…….Poohie can be marketed everywhere……he holds the innocent love and dreams that we all tend to lose……..Poohie.com……….Keep your chin up…..this too will pass.
kay bryan says
January 16, 2009 at 8:11 pmSilly girl, all you need to know is that Poohie loves youie! The words will come, spewing & tumbling over one another. . . Wear warm socks, so many thoughs and words will make your toes really REALLY cold! Believe me, I know. . .
Victoria says
January 16, 2009 at 8:55 pmPoohie, my (relatively) new neighbours are noisy and I keep on telling them to be quiet. And management keeps on telling them to be quiet. And now that they’re close to getting evicted they sent an apology letter. I’m torn between feeling sorry for them and wanting to get a full night’s sleep for the first time in FOUR MONTHS. What would Poohie do?
Beth says
January 16, 2009 at 9:26 pmPoohie, if I have a great partner and an amazing kid and a successful career not to mention a roof over my head and a steady paycheck, is it OK that I’m fat?
Surcie says
January 16, 2009 at 11:17 pmHello, sweet Bossy!
I would love to know if Poohie every suffers from blog burnout and what he does about it.
XO
Karen (Submommy) says
January 17, 2009 at 1:17 amDear Poohie,
Would you fight your local Educational Services District to cover the cost of your kid’s hearing aid, even though said child goes to a private school?
Do you pay taxes, Poohie?
Patty says
January 17, 2009 at 9:32 amI’m glad you’re still accepting posts ’cause I have been trying to figure out what to say since I read your little ditty. These last few have forced me to write.
Dear Poohie,
What do you do when you have everything you need, know what you should be doing to change your life for the better, hear of everyone else’s troubles that are much worse than yours and you still can’t act to change your life? You can’t even vacuum? All you do is work. One thing I have learned is to take time off. It’s just that I never do anything fun with that time! I once had a Poohie of my own when I was little but I threw him out, I didn’t have the foresight that you had to keep him. I recently bought a new one but it isn’t the same. I hope you can forgive me.
So…I guess the reason I wrote was to say thanks for being here for me and to let you know I am here for you. We all get like this. Sometimes we just got to take to breath. And have faith that it is going to be o.k.
Honestly, my favorite posts are your simple beautiful pics of Stella.
xo
Alexandra says
January 17, 2009 at 10:46 amDear Poohie,
I once had a giant purple Mousie but my little brother took Mousie to boarding school where he was tied up in duct tape (Bondage Mouse) then thrown out the window (Flying Bondage Mouse) and left in a snowbank the rest of the winter, then discarded by the maintenance guys before my little brother could rescue him.
Poohie, my little brother grew up to be a Navy SEAL, but he still misses Mousie on “bad days”, so give Bossy an extra squeeze for all of us, cause I think she’s having one. And I’ll tell my little brother to never, ever buy weapons from that mean man on Typepad.
Just Jamie says
January 17, 2009 at 12:51 pmDespite Poohie’s world-travels, Poohie is far too innocent to purchase firearms from a typepad source. As are all of bossy’s readers.
Forutne Cookies says
January 17, 2009 at 7:33 pmDear Poohie,
I’d really like nothing more than to dedicate myself to being an artist full time. How would I go about reaching more buyers in today’s market while still maintaining my integrity? And how do I get to the point of being able to leave the corporate world to paint full time?
Stephanie says
January 17, 2009 at 11:42 pmPoohie, you wise, old soul, what would you recommend I say to Bossy to lift her spirits and make her feel better??
~annie says
January 18, 2009 at 2:17 pmRight now I am on a dial-up connection (don’t ask) and can’t see any of the pictures yet, so I’m not sure who Poohie is. But forget about Poohie. Not that it would help anything, but I would shit a brick. Pardon my French. It seems this blogstuff is cut-throat. Bossy needs our love. And she has it.
g says
January 18, 2009 at 10:21 pmOh, Poohie is so very cute. I still have a Steiff black cat and (oddly) donkey from my childhood. My son’s favorite toys were a stuffed hippopotamus named Mumford and a carnival prize blue and green stuffed lobster named Blobby (B for Blue, Lob for lobster, get it?). Blobby got bundled in the bedclothes by a chambermaid at a Vegas hotel, and was never seen again, which heralded my son’s journey into mature teenagedom. It was very touching, and I will probably write about it, now that I am reminded.
donna in mid michigan says
January 19, 2009 at 9:16 pmWhat would poohie do with a Barbie as a Friend????..HINT HINT…missing BARBIE……
Auds at Barking Mad says
January 20, 2009 at 8:34 amDear Poohie:
I too am still with TypePad as they heard my wails of discontent last summer, via Twitter and have bent over backwards to make me happy. But I really want my own domain, but feel like I’m stabbing all those nice people at TypePad in the back, if I leave them.
Maybe I’m not ready to be on my own yet?
I wonder if TypePad would get a long OK without me? Something tells me they’d be just fine. Or maybe I’m just not ready to cut the umbilical bloggy cord yet.
What a sticky spot to be in.
Doc says
May 4, 2011 at 8:36 amGreat common sense here. Wish I?d thuhogt of that.
tsvffvzply says
May 6, 2011 at 11:53 pmel5ThH gxowvoumvgyz