Bossy never thought she was particularly vain until Bossy saw a photo of herself taken a few days into January — a photo so bad it made her balls shrink to the size of raisins.
Bossy took one look at this photo and decided she didn’t want anyone to ever see her in such a state, which is why she will now post this photo for the world to see on her public blog, because Bossy gives until it hurts (you.)
The minute Bossy saw this photo of herself and realized she could no longer live with last October’s hair disaster, she knew she was facing an expenditure. An expenditure with a side order of outlay.
Bossy had two choices: she could return to her local salon and the scene of many a hair crime, or she could make an appointment with her Italian boyfriend Antonio in New York City.
When Bossy arrived at the Manhattan salon this past Friday, she was rigged with a million foils containing freshly applied highlights and lowlights, and then she was placed under a dryer.
And it was under this dryer that Bossy was able to practice her usual brand of stealth photography, where stealth equals pretending to take pictures of Antonio’s lap dog Muffin. Or Button. Or Bluftonzzzz:
And all of that stealth stuff was really working too, because a few seconds after Bossy ambushed the photo of her colorist, Antonio marched over to Bossy’s chair and grabbed the camera from her hands so he could take a portrait of Bossy with Muffin. Button. Muftibut:
Of course what Bossy wanted more than anything was to capture a photo of Antonio for her readers reader, but Bossy is still a little afraid of Antonio.
And then, all at once, Antonio walked over and stood only a few feet from Bossy, and she was able to overcome her shyness and capture the artist in all of his glory!
After the highlight and lowlight chemicals were rinsed from Bossy’s hair, she sat down in Antonio’s work station, where he proceeded to remove nine months of hay and replace it with healthy curls. And faster than you can say Would You Believe Bossy Was In That Salon Over Four Hours? she was catching a train toward home with her new and improved look.
P.S.
Lizzy says
January 19, 2009 at 12:11 pmI think Muftibut is the best name I’ve EVER heard for ANYTHING including all humans that were born from me.
p.s. I haven’t had the courage to embrace my inner curl, because my inner curl resembles most muppets.
Debby says
January 19, 2009 at 12:15 pmOh, I cannot wait for a full headshot. And, I love the last set where obviously they are DISTRAUGHT over what-to-do to fix that mess that is Bossy’s hay (jk)!!
Say What? says
January 19, 2009 at 12:17 pmI think I love Antonio and Fran! So take off the hat already and show us the gorgeous curls!
Beaner Wiener says
January 19, 2009 at 12:31 pmI once had a stylist names Antonio as well. I loved him too.
Your Antonio rocks the hat he is wearing…however is that a sign of a bad hair day for Antonio?
Jeri says
January 19, 2009 at 12:40 pmso where’s your picture?
Lesley says
January 19, 2009 at 12:50 pmWow. My current monthly hair experience does NOT come with a lap dog and I am suddenly feeling very unfulfilled. What exactly am I tipping for, anyway??
And for the record? You did NOT look anything but lovely in the restaurant kitchen photo.
(Sorry about the hat follow-up after four hours of primp. That’s disappointing.)
Cindy Z says
January 19, 2009 at 12:50 pmI want to come with Bossy next time! I have had bad after bad hair experences! Your before picture looks 10 times better then any after picture I have had! I of course trying to save money have either done it myself or went to a beauty school to have it done, yikes!
natalie says
January 19, 2009 at 12:52 pma four hour salon experience? my a-d-d would definitely kick in by the second hour. i would be pulling my hair out. i wonder what they would do with me then!
junebug says
January 19, 2009 at 1:01 pmTwo weeks ago I went to a new salon to get my hair highlighted and colored. I waited 8 months!!! It was way too long. When he finished and showed me the results, I resolved right then to never, never wait that long again. It was a dramatic change for the better. And so worth it.
prefers her fantasy life says
January 19, 2009 at 1:04 pmOMFG! This is exactly what my midlife-crisis ordered. A new Antonio, I mean, hair style.
Golden says
January 19, 2009 at 1:15 pmAntonio is such the cliche stylist from NYC! He’s right out of central casting!
And this little photo journey is absolutely useless without an after photo!!!!
katie says
January 19, 2009 at 1:21 pmI love how you often put up these posts about your hair and then you never show a picture that we can tell what your hair looks like! You’re such a tease, bossy!
Jen on the Edge says
January 19, 2009 at 1:22 pmIf I weren’t already having a torrid affair with my gay salon boyfriend, who is known in my world as The Hair God, I would be envious of your Italian boyfriend. Sure, he’s talented, but look at the man. Wow!
sherry says
January 19, 2009 at 1:22 pmBossy before Antonio = muftibut. (I kid because I love!) Please show us the “after” photo!
kristin says
January 19, 2009 at 1:35 pmI can only hope that my curly hair will one day look as good as yours does. I have this fear of cutting it shorter and looking like my mom. Don’t get me wrong–my mom is gorgeous, but . . . she has mom hair. I can’t get away with it because I am neither 60 years old nor a mother.
I like your hair style much better and would emulate it, except I am WAY, WAY too cheap to pay more than twenty bucks for a hair cut. And I get my hair cut approximately twice a year.
So I guess I should maybe give up on trying to emulate Stylish Bossy. Ain’t gonna happen.
POD says
January 19, 2009 at 1:43 pmI like how you pay a fortune (most likely) to get your hair done by Antonio while cuddling his pooch (thank goodness it’s not a chihuahua like the dog at my psychiatrist). Antonio wears a hat the whole time and when all is said and done, you’re wearing a hat too.
Next time, just put on a foil pyramid. It’s way cheaper and holds heat in better too.
Jami says
January 19, 2009 at 2:01 pmOh, come ON! We get pictures of Muftibut’s curls but have to settle for your HAT? NNNOOOoooooo … must. see. Bossy’s. do!
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
January 19, 2009 at 2:11 pmBossy’s New York hairdresser isn’t just great, he’s an Italian god, where god = Antoni-Oh Boy!- friend.
Love,
Your Faithful Reader
who uses Preference by L’oreal and has 12 months worth of hay…and who is now saving for a trip to steal Bossy’s beautiful, talented boyfriend.
I mean a trip to “see” Bossy’s boyfriend, of course.
joeinvegas says
January 19, 2009 at 3:09 pmI like the shot of you with the dog best – those little silver things just seem to bring out the inner you. Maybe you could leave those on a little longer . . .
karen says
January 19, 2009 at 3:11 pmI’m glad you splurged a little on yourself Bossy. All I need to know is WHERE is the shot of the new & improved Bossy? The pics of the dog & hairstylist are good, but I can’t wait to see the end result of your 4 hours!
Ellen says
January 19, 2009 at 3:16 pmHat hair is all the rage now I hear.
Cat@MyNameIsCat says
January 19, 2009 at 3:20 pmI love me a nice Italian boy even if he’s old enough to be my, uhm, well, I guess he’s old enough to be my older brother.
KD @ A Bit Squirrelly says
January 19, 2009 at 3:25 pmI have to find a new hair-god(ess)dresser because we moved. I am scared, but the split ends are haunting me in my sleep. It’s time.
Reeb says
January 19, 2009 at 3:26 pmI’m fascinated that the perfectly nice photo of Bossy is what instigated this, but as a longtime reader, know that it was time for new Bossylocks. Since she wasn’t buying the concept of a Jean Seberg look.
Is this what Poohie prescribed for Bossy’s blues? Did it help?
Kerri Anne says
January 19, 2009 at 3:45 pmYou cheater. The new hair suspense, it burns!
(Also: I love! Antonio’s hat. I definitely don’t think it would look great on me, but it does indeed look great! on him.)
(Also: I need a hair cut and color so badly, wherein badly = I might just go get one tomorrow on my “lunch break.”)
rebekah says
January 19, 2009 at 3:55 pmNo no no no no…you don’t post an ENTIRE POST without the “and here is my FABULOMOUS HAIR” afterpic. Der!
But…sigh…I miss NYC.
Emily says
January 19, 2009 at 4:01 pmDear Bossy, maybe you need a different colored hat because your hair appears to match the hat in the photo?
Here’s to hoping your faubulous new color isn’t beige.
pamela from the dayton time says
January 19, 2009 at 4:02 pmdesperate times call for desperate measures.
there is never any call for bad hair.
therefore, good decision, Bossy!
mrs. g. says
January 19, 2009 at 4:38 pmBossy, I can’t take anymore of this. You are a hair-tease. You get me all worked up with talks of highlights and lowlights and muffinbutt and Italian men named Antonio AND then you offer me a final photo of you in a HAT.
That’s it. We’re through.
Ree (the other one) says
January 19, 2009 at 4:42 pmBossy and muftibutt have the same shade of highlights!
Rachel D. says
January 19, 2009 at 4:51 pmWoW 4 hours? Do they serve a few Martini’s???
All I know is we feel better after we do this to our selves.
I should do it more often but I also have other Poverty
things that get me in trouble.
Hee Hee Ha Ha life gets me every time
mn says
January 19, 2009 at 4:57 pmeh…where’s the grand finale. you needed to put up salon pictures of the final product.
Camille says
January 19, 2009 at 5:08 pmWhat a good italian boyfriend Antonio makes. I can hardly stand the wait to see your hair without a hat!
lucy says
January 19, 2009 at 5:14 pmYou take a train into NYC for a color and a cut with your Italian (expensive) boyfriend and then you whine about being a million dollars in debt? Comm’on bossy, are you really that vain? Nobody in your hometown could do a cut and color to your liking? Susie Orman would NOT approve.
Time to practice what you preach, girlfriend.
Gette says
January 19, 2009 at 5:29 pmI’m with all the commenters who demand a head shot, and think you are a wicked tease/post milker for not including one.
krg says
January 19, 2009 at 5:44 pmno matter what the budjet, no one is ever sorry they got exactly what they wanted.
Bush Babe says
January 19, 2009 at 5:46 pmHow long was the train ride? And why did you HAVE to wear a beanie? How cold is it?? (Said she sitting in a t-shirt in her kitchen contemplating a swim).
I’m with the rest: SHOW US YOUR HAIR, woman!!
🙂
BB
Alwyn says
January 19, 2009 at 5:56 pmBossy, you are WAYYYY too hard on yourself and that hair! Can’t wait to see the new “do”, though. Oh, and that pic of me….UGH. Moon face from all the holiday/birthday celebrations. Does Antonio do chin lipo? If so, I’m taking the express train to NYC.
Ellie says
January 19, 2009 at 6:09 pmI got my hair done on Friday — color, wash, cut and blowdry. Or, as Jennie wrote in her appointment book, “The Whole Nine Yards.” Today’s Monday and it’s still going strong….
Heide says
January 19, 2009 at 6:37 pmGlad Poohie / Antonio has gotten you through the writing block, even if only for a day … I missed your blog posts!
Domestic Goddess (in training) says
January 19, 2009 at 6:41 pmThe anticipation is killing me… Can’t wait to see the new look (and live vicariously through you as you will have good hair and I am not sure I remember what that is anymore).
HeyJoe says
January 19, 2009 at 7:06 pmBossy has balls? This changes everything.
So Not Mom-a-licious says
January 19, 2009 at 7:10 pmI just don’t know how you could go for that long! I think I would lose my mind. I would rather lose my mind than show my real roots. But what fun to get to travel into New York to get your hair did. Maybe someday I’ll make an appoitment with Rita Hazan, colorist to the stars! I will make sure though not to do it in the dead of winter!
Little Miss Sunshine State says
January 19, 2009 at 7:15 pmBecause I’m still having a rip-roaring Poverty Party, I went to Jennifer at the Hair Cuttery and then came home and pretended Natural Instincts in Toasted Almond was a professional color job. $24
boots586 says
January 19, 2009 at 8:06 pmWow. Many trains in Bossy’s life. First, the Obama Express. Now a train to NYC. Does Bossy live near tracks and stations? And which side of the tracks?
Boots lurvs the sound that trains make on the rails when they are approaching. They sing.
Momo Fali says
January 19, 2009 at 8:15 pmWhere is the hair?!!
Unemployed Susan says
January 19, 2009 at 8:59 pmBossy,
You’re all cheekbones and mature beauty, why don’t you reduce one of your issues by cutting your hair OFF. Off, as in adorably short. Short hair is fantastic all you’ve got to do is keep it clean. Now, if I’ve missed a post about how much you hate short hair please disregard my comment.
cynthiagirl says
January 19, 2009 at 9:16 pmWhat? No photos of salon hair? When I get salon hair, I make sure and admire it in every mirror I pass for three days. Even when you sleep in salon hair it still looks fab. As well as after when you wear a hat. C’mon Bossy. SHOW US.
Helen E. H. Madden says
January 19, 2009 at 9:28 pmI so envy you. I don’t think we even have Italians in my neck of the woods, let alone Italian hair dressers. And for me to have time to spend four hours in a salon? I think I’d have to be dead, and the stylist would need to be an undertaker or something, trying to make me look better than I ever did while I was alive.
You though, look lovely. Even the before picture looked nice!
Jill says
January 19, 2009 at 9:54 pmIf that is the worst pic of you, then I hate you (kind of). I have been dealing with seeing lots of unflattering shots of myself recently after the birth of child #2. If I look like your pic when my kids go to college, I think I’ll feel lucky. Let’s face it, you’re foxy, even when your hair is fried.
BabyFavorite says
January 19, 2009 at 9:54 pmYou are such a tease. Tsk tsk tsk.
The older I get, I just keep cutting mine shorter and shorter and shorter. I just posted about it, in fact. Soon I’ll be bald.
operagal says
January 19, 2009 at 10:37 pmwas Friday hair coloring day or what?
my stylist Katie went with a deep auburn for my frizzy locks, and then Sat night I donned my evening frock and my fur, and went to the awards ceremony.
sort of.
OG
Surcie says
January 19, 2009 at 11:21 pmEven though we haven’t seen the new do, one can tell just by looking at him that Antonio is an arteest! Surcie wants her own Manhattan hair savior.
Judy says
January 20, 2009 at 12:15 amTorture has gone out with the Bush administration, so please relent and post a photo of the new “do!”
kate says
January 20, 2009 at 2:58 amokay, i’ve been back to this post four times today. because something was bothering me about it. so i clicked in from blogroll. i typed iambossy.com into the address bar. i clicked onto the post itself. i clicked to go to iambossy home. and i couldn’t figure out what was bothering me.
and then?
BOSSY’s read more link is gone. like gone gone.
also? the guy in the black hat? looks pretty frustrated in that last shot. i think he’s looking for the read more link too.
Elsewhere says
January 20, 2009 at 7:12 amI only hope that Barack O’Boyfriend will pay the bill. He is, as we all know, the real reason for all his hair-spending.
MariaV says
January 20, 2009 at 8:08 amYou’re such a tease. Show us the new ‘do.
Auds at Barking Mad says
January 20, 2009 at 8:27 amBossy! Tease!
Seriously though, I am envious. Even if you didn’t show a photo of the new highlighted and lowlighted goodness, I know it must be gorgeous. Budget be damned…sometimes you HAVE to do things the right way because otherwise, you’re sitting where I am, saving up enough money to be able to pay for the corrective colouring (highlights and lowlights) to correct what I let my oldest daughter do to my hair in the name of saving some money. Except now, I’m going to end up spending 9-12 times as much as I would have in the first place had I just had my stylist come up to the house and do it the proper way.
I will never learn.
Hokie Deb says
January 20, 2009 at 9:39 am–> Don’t call it a comeback, those curls have been there for years!
I have naturally curly hair too and would get highlights every six months til I realized I was too cheap to go more often and my roots were out of control. In November, I discovered an $8 of hair dye and haven’t looked back since.
http://thaxtonfam.blogspot.com/
Half Assed Kitchen says
January 20, 2009 at 11:02 amI love your little hair travelogues. But you know what, that photo in the kitchen doesn’t even look like you. It was a trick. An evil photographic trick.
janny226 says
January 20, 2009 at 12:07 pmMust.See.After.Picture! And next time call me, I’ll buy you a celebratory post-appointment cocktail before you get on the train.
Tootsie Farklepants says
January 20, 2009 at 5:33 pmJudging by his photos I would say that Antonio has a flair for the dramatic! I mean, seriously, he looks like one of my former acting teachers.
p.s. He would intimidate me too.
Bird on the Wire says
January 20, 2009 at 8:48 pmBossy!! I feel you’re missing a photo or two… right at the end of the post? No?
Sista #2 says
January 21, 2009 at 2:54 pmI can just imagine how Antonio speaks. Does he use his hands alot?
Now, where is the shot of the new hairdo???
peace
#2
foolery says
January 22, 2009 at 7:53 pmOh thank heavens. For a minute I thought you were letting Old Weird Harold from the Fat Albert cartoons do your hair.
biddy says
January 23, 2009 at 12:24 amyay bossy! good for you – you overcame your fear!
Mr Farty says
January 23, 2009 at 7:46 pmMartian foils = Worzel Gummidge. Fact.
http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/organgrinder/worzel460440.jpg
Who am I to bitch? BOSSY has hair, sigh.
Bet the “after” shot is gracing the cover of Vogue right now.
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