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Bossy Will Now Tell You About Another Dream Because People Love When You Do That.

So there Bossy was, in a mansion at night, and there was a party going on:

mansion

Bossy descended a lonely staircase into the depths of the house where there appeared an empty storage room:

storage-room

At the entrance to the storage room, there was a small window — and it was through this window Bossy heard the sound of a low-flying plane:

window-view

As the plane flew over the house, the engine cut for a minute and Bossy held her breath, but then the plane continued on its course, where course equals it crashed a moment later on the sprawling front lawn:

imagination

So Bossy ran up the stairs and threw open the front door so she could get a better look, except when she stepped outside to see, she turned to her right and there was a huge outdoor tent set up and Bossy thought to herself, “Ah. The wedding has begun.”

outdoor-wedding-tent

Cue: you. Tell Bossy all about a recent dream, if you want. And Bossy promises it won’t even get on her nerves.

fingers-crossed-behind-back

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. I’ve had several lately. I haven’t been feeling well lately, so I think my dreams of dying or being deathly ill stem from that. I will spare you the details.

    Strange dream: I was trying to comfort my assistant who just found out that she was pregnant. She was cursing the doctor who was suppose to have tied her tubes 25 years ago. She was in a real state and I was frantic because I couldn’t seem to comfort her. Strange!

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  3. Ditto. Anytime I dream I’m pregnant I’m in labor and give birth to either something unidentifiable or a dog.

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  5. I have dreamed of pregnancy lately, too…but has no basis in real life…not happening..again…ever. Probaby a metaphor for something else going on, but I don’t dwell on my dreams long enough to get anywhere with them. I only remember dreams for a little while after I wake. Yours is interesting though.

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  6. Whenever I have an “anxiety” dream, it’s always about me being in dicey situations (rough terrain) but I don’t have any shoes on. Or else I have the wrong kind of shoes – i.e., flipflops in a blizzard. Or else I’ve lost one shoe. Weird.

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  7. Yesterday I was partaking in my favorite hobby, i.e., napping, and I had several dreams involving me trying to scream out to someone- but no sound comes out and they can’t hear me.

    A cop had stopped in front of our house and was yelling at someone who was working next door to leave immediately. The worker ran to his truck and tossed his stuff in the truck bed. Suddenly I spotted my son’s huge juggling bag that contained all his props on top of the pile in the truck bed. The guy started the engine and I was starting to drive off. Panicked, I was trying to scream to my son to go out and rescue his juggling bag!! But he couldn’t hear me even though he was in the same room as me..

    Ahhhh, the important things that occupy my mind!

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  8. Whoa.

    How did my grandfather’s house in Eureka, CA end up in your dream?

    (My great-uncle Sam sold it and it’s now the Ingomar Club: http://www.ingomar.org/history-club.html)

    When I was pregnant I dreamt I was having a girl named Carson, and lo, that’s exactly what happened. She was the spitting image of my dad (also named Carson) when she was born, so she’s stuck with the name.

    Shall I post pictures of my garden for your next dream-that-includes-my-family-domiciles? Now that’s a real nightmare….

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  9. This one freaked me out for days: I’m on a beach. A man runs up and says he’s kidnapping me, but he doesn’t want to walk so I have to carry him. He jumps on my back and tells me to run. He weighs a million pounds and I can’t even walk, so he starts jabbing needles into my head so my legs will be strong. (Some kind of dope or something, I guess.) I feel strong for two or three steps but that’s all, so he gives me another shot in the head. The End. I wake up with the worst headache of my life. What do you make of that?

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  10. We had lans wth a group of friends over this past weekend. The night before the “date”, I dreamed that I couldn’t find anything good to wear. I was in my closet and I was trying on every single thing in there, but nothing fit properly or matched or anything. And then I looked up and realized that my group of friends was standing outside the closet door watching.

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  12. The only dreams I’ve had recently involve having more babies (girls, they come out two years old, it’s weird) and trying to get someplace, but it’s taking a long time and I end up flying (swimming in the air) to get there.
    ‘
    You should hear my dreams when taking Skelaxin. STEAMY.

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  13. I can’t. I once had a roommate who would tell me her dreams in excruciating detail. For hours. Thus I now am under a self-imposed vow to never mention my dreams to another human being as I long as I shall live.

    I’m sure Bossy is crushed.

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  14. I dreamt I got necratizing faceitis (you know, the flesh eating bacteria) and had to have my leg amputated.

    But the totally wierd and unbelievable part? It was TOTALLY covered by my health insurance, every penny.

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  15. My husband woke up from a dream awhile back very upset. He said he dreamed that he took our son’s arm’s and leg’s off and could not figure out how to put them back on. I laughed until I almost wet the bed.

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  16. dreams?? oh, i’ve heard of those. those are those things you get when you actually get sleep, right? i wouldn’t know anything about that. i’ll take creepy, teeth-falling-out-of-my-mouth type of dreams over insomnia any day.

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  18. Last night, lots of snakes involved of varying types. Many were in the house wandering. Therfore, waking up, middle of the night after said dream = REALLY long time to fall back asleep.

    ~yawn~

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  19. Friends and I were out bar hopping – every time we’d get to a bar & get half way through our drink the building next door to us would collapse. Figuring it wasn’t safe to be in a building where the one next door had just collapsed we’d leave only to go to another bar and have the same thing happen again.

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  20. I dreamt an Arab friend of mine was asked to quote from the Bible and then translate it. He replied that he could do song lyrics better. Then a Jewish Friend accused the Arab of making fun of the Bible and proceeded to say how much more advanced Hebrew is over Arabic and how much better the restaurants are in Israel.

    That’s when I knew it was a dream. Because really, how can Jewish food beat hommus and tabouli?

    No way.

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  21. I recently dreamt I was in charge of marketing for a line of toasters. These toasters were retro in design (much like Bossy’s beloved toaster), but toasted 6-8 slices of bread at a time. To more effectively draw attention to these wonderful toasters, I reintroduced the bustle to American fashion and bustled my gowns around these toasters, even going so far as to bustle my wedding gown around an aqua blue version and carrying a bouquet made of toast points. I can only assume the guests tossed bread crumbs as my husband and I departed for our honeymoon…

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  23. My daughter, who is 17, was invited to Nolan Ryan’s wedding. It was in California, and we live in Illinois, but it was only going to take us 6 hours to drive there. We were going to have to spend the night before we could come back home. I told my husband we would just stay in some crap place but he insisted that it be clean. My daughter needed a pink skirt to wear to the wedding but I was like, hey, either you go to Nolan Ryan’s wedding OR you get a pink skirt, but not both because we can’t afford it. (My husband is unemployed, I just had surgery and am on disability for 6 weeks, and the next day Nolan Ryan was an answer to a trivia question on an online game I was playing. Oh, and I hate baseball).

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  24. My dreams rarely make enough sense to verbalize, much less form an opinion. In that way they are pretty much like my waking life.

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  25. Last night I dreamt I discovered a container vegetable garden in my office (unnoticed by me for the past six months) that was producing better than my garden at home.

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  26. So I totally wasn’t going to even mention this because it borders on creepy stalker talk…

    But 2 weeks ago I had a dream that I walked over to your house and your husband was in the garage working on some kind of boat? And he said I could look through the boxes of pictures while I waited. And looking through the pictures I found a lot of pictures from my childhood and when I asked him where he’d found them he said he found them in the box.

    Duh.

    I honestly wasn’t going to tell you ever. But this seemed like a good time for it.

    Please don’t be scared of me. 🙂

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  27. I don’t really have dreams, because I have a Mister who snores and snorts, and a one-month old babeh who wakes me up to hit the creamery every few hours.

    But when I was pregnant, I had dreams that would have put me on the list of Bossy’s Gays. I loved me some hot women in my dreams when I was pregnant. Talk about earning your night sweats.

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  28. last night I dreamt my secret crush (my mcdreamy) was speaking at a conference (he’d never do that in real life) and the only way I could get in was to crawl through the kitchen window of my childhood home. As I sat in the back waiting for him to start speaking, I spotted security coming for me…

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  29. Recently I dreamed that I was dog sitting a co-workers dogs and they started talking to me. I was so confused by the fact that they could talk that I called my other co-worker and asked her “did you know that Debbie’s dogs can talk?” and she was all “Well, yes, of course, all schnauzers can talk, that’s a well known fact. I can’t believe you didn’t know this tidbit of knowledge you moron (but of course she didn’t say moron in my dream she called me a dumb ass – – -tha’s how we roll)”. While I searched for understanding of this new found knowledge my husband and daughter were asking the dogs questions such as “why do you lick your butt?” and they answered “because we don’t have hands to use toilet paper”. And at no time did my family think this was weird, which made it even more bizarre. It was all so strange – – – I wonder what it all means Freudossy?????????

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  30. I frequently dream of finding hidden spaces in my home, just behind this closet, or in the attic I didn’t know I had, suddenly doubling the size of our space. There are so many interpretations of this I am flabberghasted.

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  32. Just this very morning – I was supposed to get up at 6 and run, but I slept in until 7. In that extra hour of sleep, I dreamed that I caught my husband giggling with another woman, then I chased him around in a parking garage. Also, it was snowy.

    I woke up grumpy at my man. Cuz he GIGGLED with another WOMAN!

    Then I ran and felt better.

    The end.

    Reply

  33. You had to ask. I dreamt last night that I had a huge fight with my sister about the way she treats my family. It felt good to let it all out, but I woke up with tears on my face. Just so you know this doesn’t usually happen. Ever. You’re welcome.

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  34. Last night, I actually dreamt that my pillow was full of nasty, worm-like parasites that were trying to burrow INTO MY BRAIN. It was very gross, and now I want to buy all new pillows.

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  36. Last night I dreamt I was flying on a trapeze in my backyard and there was a snake in our lemon tree trying to get me. I have the weirdest freaking dreams. I wish I dreamt of closet porn.

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  37. Just the other night, I dreamed Maude (the Bea Arthur Maude) was my mother. We were having an argument and she was cracking me up with her witty comebacks and the “stare”.

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  38. I had a dream that my bestest friend and I had to go around killing Tasmanian Tigers (the extinct animal…yeah) that lived around my house in New England with blunt spears. It was awkward.

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  39. Bossy’s dream can be interpreted as so:

    Bossy’s computer is her home. Bossy worries about disk/storage space on her computer. She’s afraid that it might crash. Then, when it does, even though this crash might be bad it’s also good because she can buy a whole new computer and celebrate at my wedding to Kevin Bacon, who Bossy will introduce to me and bring to Virginia really soon right after I send her an updated photo.

    The End.

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  40. When I was pregnant, I dreamed my daughter came out with all her chiclet teeth and a dark brown page-boy haircut. When I tried to feed her she said “I don’t want breast milk, I would rather have a pop tart”.

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  41. I recently washed all the windows in my house..inside and outside..upstairs and down..that night I dreamt that people loved my clean windows so much that they were peeking in and watchin my man and I “do it”..lordy..now that was a NIGHTMARE!! they didnt really comment on anything but the clean windows tho..

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  43. OK………….. #1 HAHAHA ask ME about Tubal Ligation,
    #23 Nolan Ryan………..really??!?!?

    Last dream chemistry class 10th grade, no pants on, guys in white painters pants, no shirts!

    jp

    ps…………my porn??? Doxie rescue websites…………..it’s a disease!

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  44. My pregnancy dreams always involved birthing a teenager.
    And I have lots of “I’m in my house but it’s not a house I’ve ever really been in before but in my dream I know it’s my house” dreams. And I have the popular “the final is tomorrow and I haven’t even bought the books or attended a class yet!” dream about 4 times a year.

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  45. I had a dream that I met a tall, gorgeous, (and smart) blond woman and we had a real CONNECTION and we were going to eat this awesome chocolate dessert together…

    And then she whipped out a butcher knife and KILLED IT, RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME.

    She HACKED IT. To DEATH.

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  46. I’ve had a couple dreams recently in which I’m shopping with my dead grandmother. She wasn’t dead in the dream, but in real life. I read or heard somewhere that if you dream of a person who has died, that is their way of contacting you. I don’t know.

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  47. I have lots of dreams about mansion-y houses and storage rooms, too. Often I’ll discover that my house has an enormous labyrinth of sub-basements that I never knew about. Very weird.

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  48. Bossy doesn’t want to know anything about Audubon Ron’s dreams. Angels visit Audubon Ron in his dreams and tell Audubon Ron things. Not much good to report. It ain’t much good. When the angels aren’t talking to Audubon Ron in his sleep, he is tossing and turning and writhing in shoulder pain the doctors can’t seem to diagnose. The Doritos and salsa at 2:00 a.m. helps – a little. I bet you think I’m kidding. Never been more serious. I blog at 2:00 a.m. to break the noise. It’s actually better than when the dead Native American Indians walk around my bedroom. Those guys are noisy and smelly.

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  49. on a recent family get-together, my sister dreamed her husband made soup out of their beloved dog, mango. she refused to speak to him for most of the morning. lol…poor guy.

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  50. Stole this from my blog. . .

    Befuddled
    “Get out of bed.” “Get out of bed.” Over and over again, my alarm beckons me to get up. So I shut the dang thang off, so I can doze for a few minutes.

    An hour later, my phone rings and wakes me up right in the middle of a dream. I have this car that kind of looks like Cinderella’s coach without the horses and smaller wheels. Oh, and has big daisies all over it. I am with somebody, a friend I think, and we are going to get some lunch. I park right next to the restaurant door somewhat on the sidewalk – but is was ok for me to do so.

    I happen to look out the window, and my car is gone! I start questioning everyone – I think the hostess had something to do with it. Then I go outside and look up and down the street for my car, saw a couple similar ones, but not mine. I notice that I am wearing my pajamas inside out. It is a very busy street – kind of reminds me of New Orleans, there are a lot of people on the sidewalks and in the street. My friend leads me to this alley and a door. He opens the door and it opens into a dank cement room. I follow him in and then he opens another door – I tell him that I am not going with him (I was scared), so he goes, and I go back out to the street.

    I need to get home to feed the dogs that I forgot I have in the back yard (I’ve had this part of the dream several times). They are always ok, skinny, but ok. I feel so bad for forgetting them though.

    So I try to hail a cab, but am getting nowhere cause it is so crowded, and I am not very tall.

    There is a huge 18 wheeler electric blue truck (just the truck part, did not have a load) parked nearby and I climb on top of the cab to see if I can hail a cab from there. Then the truck starts to leave! Some nice people help me down, and I land in a pile of old clothes. And then I realize that I have a very short nightgown on. I am tugging at it and walking through an out door Japanese restaurant. There are crackly things on the floor that hurt my bare feet. I see a small enclosure, kind of like a cattle chute, but with wooden sides. I slide in there to change into something more modest, but get stuck – there is no room to move.

    Two dudes come along, and now I’m really scared. They were Indians with black face paint on, and they were kind enough to help me get out. Now I have my long nightgown on inside out.

    My bosses house is nearby, so I stop and pick up five gallons of vodka, and let myself in the back door. That vodka was soooo heavy that when I was carrying it, I became two inches shorter. They were going to have a party, and I knew they would be mad if they found me there (but happy about the vodka). There was a huge guesthouse behind their house that was the size of a regular house and some movie star was staying there. He came out and I got to meet him, he look scruffy, and I did not know who he was.

    Then I started cleaning the floor with a hose as there was some catlitter that had spilled. And then the phone rang.

    I was so befuddled and tired for most of the day. I really needed to finish that dream. Whenever I shut off the alarm and fall back asleep, I almost always wake back up in the middle of a dream. If the dream is bad, I don’t want to wake up because I always try to make it work out ok.

    What do you think of that?

    Reply

  51. Bossy, I swear, you have the smartest, funniest commenters ever. EVAH!

    I’ve been dreaming a lot about running. As in, me. Running. And it’s not the awkward, arm-flailing, foot-flomping, side-achy spectacle I have been known to be. (My son once ran faster BACKWARDS than I was running frontwards. It was so sad.)

    But in my dreams, I’m running effortlessly, for miles. I don’t get tired, and my gait is streamlined and — dare I say it? — graceful.

    The really beautiful part is, I’m not being chased.

    Figure THAT out, somebody.

    Reply

  52. I have this reoccuring dream in which my husband and I discover a whole hidden wing in our house. It’s decorated like the 1960’s but its bright and beautiful and huge. Then we come to this room in the back and see that the walls are lined with fish tanks full of disgusting, dead fish and we suddenly remember that the previous owner told us all about the secret wing and the fish but we forgot all about it for the nine years we’ve lived at the house. Then I always wake up feeling guilty about the poor dead dream fish.

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  53. My Native American boyfriend (long ago ex) once dreamed I was unfaithful to him and wouldn’t talk to me all day, even though he KNEW it was a dream.

    And, #20, hummus and tabouli ARE Israeli foods! The foods people think of as Jewish in the US are more Central and Eastern European foods adapted to a kosher diet, because that’s where a lot of American Jews came from. But in Israel, it’s hummus, tabouli, and falafel all the way.

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  54. 1. Was originally thinking that this would be a good 10-word-tuesday topic. After reading all these, I see there’s NO WAY these could be distilled to a mere 10 words.

    2. When first married had musician-wife anxiety dreams. He’d call me in a panic cause he couldn’t make the gig so I drove, lost, for hours trying to get there in his place. Vaguely wondering throughout what I’d do if/when I ever arrived since (a) I don’t read music and (b) I’ve held his clarinets about twice, and of course I don’t have a clue how to play them. Once I had to detour to a forest and make my own bassoon which isn’t even his instrument. Sure I haven’t told you this? Anyway, I got over those dreams eventually.

    3. There’s a mosquito in this room biting me and I think I’ll have some new dreadful dreams to report on tomorrow morning.

    4. Over the course of 30+ years, have had dreams of inter-related residence/apartments that have been utterly delightful and like coming home. I love them when they come up.

    5. Quite the topic, Bossy!

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  55. Your dream cracked me up. I love the visuals especially the one of a plane not crashing.
    My last dream was that our pregnant mare (Flo-jo) was going into labor and that they needed me to do foal watch but since there’s not bed in the barn they wanted me to sleep on the shavings. She didn’t have her foal that night but my co-worker came down the next day saying she had a dream Flo-jo foaled as well. Weird.

    Reply

  56. One of my friends invited a bunch of people (strangers as well as mutual friends) over to my house without asking me because she wanted to celebrate the passage of some dog-rights legislation. My house was actually quite large and ornate (which is not the case in real life), with lots of bathrooms. My “friend” (because I was mad at her for doing this) put a white terrier-or-poodle-like dog on every single toilet in my (large) house because “all [her] dogs are potty trained.” Except, they had to be sitting on the toilet constantly in case they had to go. The other guests also needed to use the toilets, and they were getting upset that the dogs wouldn’t get off of them. So I went into my (expansive and very rococo) bathroom to remove one of the little dogs and it slipped into the toilet bowl, turned upside down, and peed all over me.

    The. End.

    Reply

  57. #52 “I have this reoccuring dream in which my husband and I discover a whole hidden wing in our house. It’s decorated like the 1960’s but its bright and beautiful and huge.”

    Oh my gosh, like every night! No dead fish in mine, just a sudden guilt for not remembering this was here and making my guests sleep on airmattresses in a crowded room when I had this whole furniture store worth of bedrooms and beautifully lit kitchens and sunny porches to spare. And always always always a dream of forgotten beautiful bathrooms.

    I first had the dream while we lived in a 900 square foot 1 bath house. Then we moved to a huge house where you DO open one closet-looking door in a bathroom and it opens into a separate mother-in-law apartment with beautiful south-facing kitchen, living room, and bedroom/sitting room/bath upstairs. And the main house is beautiful, too. But suddenly that dream is popping up again.

    Reply

  58. I keep dreaming my teeth are falling out. And I have to close my mouth really TIGHT. My jaw hurts in the morning. THANKS, dream.

    Reply

  59. I had a horrible dream Sunday night that I shot myself in the head (no I don’t have a gun), but it came out my eye, but I could still see. The blood was dripping down my cheek and my coworker, Joe, found me and took me to the hospital where I waited an eternity for my husband to show up. Weird + spooky.

    Reply

  60. When I was a kid I had a recurrent dream that I was running through a church being chased by the evil Quick Draw McDraw, who looked exactly like my childhood hero Quick Draw McGraw. I took refuge in the girl’s room, but peeking under the stall I saw a pair of cartoon hoofs and was paralyzed with fear, unable to determine if they were McDraw’s or McGraw’s.

    Reply

  61. I am the queen of weird dreams. Lately I have been dreaming about Dennis Leary, which is strange because a) I never really cared for him and b) I don’t think I have even watched his show. So in this last dream he was stalking his wife and their small girl child to try to kill them both. At some point he is shot in the head by a farmer (or maybe the mother, we’re not sure) and his body is mutilated. But wait! He’s not dead! No, he is still walking around stalking his wife and daughter with face all mangled like the Terminator, lurking in the shadows. Then the farmer comes up to the giant picnic table with a slab of BBQ’d ribs and served them up saying something to the effect of “The ribs of a Murderer are the best!”

    And everyone eats Dennis Leary’s BBQ’d ribcage. The end.

    Reply

  62. Okay, I currently don’t get enough sleep to remember any of my dreams. But I still remember one from college (who needs to go to class when you can stay up late and sleep as late as you want?) that I’ll briefly retell.

    I was in my dorm room, window open to a beautiful spring day. Outside the window were the sounds of birds, students going to and fro. I was dreaming I was in my dorm room, window open to a beautiful spring day. Outside the window were the sounds of birds, students going to and fro. But in my dream I was lying on my back. In reality I was lying on my stomach. As I slowly woke to consciousness, I got to experience my body turning inside out to flip from sunny side up to over easy.

    It was cool…..

    Reply

  63. I dream a lot about babies who talk to me like adults. It’s deeply disturbing. I also have a lot of those dreams inside of dreams inside of dreams, where you “wake up” into another dream and when you finally do surface to the actual world, you are exhausted.

    Reply

  64. Another pregnant dream: I was nine months pregnant and went to the grocery store in my slippers. I got very mad at the person who snobbishly pointed out that I wasn’t wearing shoes! When I told my mom about the dream later she thought it was cute…I said no it was a nightmare! I was fat, uncomfortable and horribly moody!!

    Reply

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