You are looking at Frances Ethel Gumm, better known as Judy Garland. Last night Bossy and her daughter went to the rerelease of The Wizard of Oz in high definition, where high definition equals the toddler screaming behind Bossy’s head, awake way past her bedtime. The toddler was up pretty late, too.
Often when seeing an old movie, Bossy becomes obsessed with the age the actors were when filming said movie, especially since there was a tendency for them to look so mature when they were in fact young.
So there was Bossy this morning, researching the ages of the actors in The Wizard of Oz, like the Scarecrow (35), the Cowardly Lion (44), the Tin Man (41), and Dorothy (17). When suddenly Bossy came across this little chart:
Bossy knew Judy Garland was married several times, just like Bossy knows Hollywood marriages in general last only slightly longer than an average highlighting job, and Bossy respects that. Some things aren’t meant to last. For instance, Hollywood marriages.
Let’s look into this a little deeper, shall we? Judy’s first husband, David Rose, was a songwriter, composer, arranger, orchestra leader, and smoker. They were married for three years:
Next up is Vincente Minnelli, director of stage and screen and for seven years, Judy Garland. He is Liza’s father:
Next we have Sidney Luft, who was “an American show business figure best known as the third husband of iconic actress and singer Judy Garland.” Bossy isn’t kidding, that’s what his biography says. And Sid held that job for thirteen years:
Judy’s fourth husband was Mark Herron, an actor best known as, oh boy, the fourth husband of Judy Garland. But Mark Herron only lasted two years, rendering him more of an Associate Husband:
And finally, husband number five, Mickey Deans. Mickey Deans managed a disco, and he met Judy Garland while delivering drugs to her New York City hotel room. Note: this may not be the best way to meet your next husband when you are addicted to barbiturates. They were married only three months before Judy died of an overdose:
Mo saysSeptember 24, 2009 at 10:36 am
Not only would that make a good anti-drug campaign, but Bossy should print that out as a poster, have it laminated, and send it to ALL OF YOUNG HOLLYWOOD. (if only to fight the giant-glasses trend. when will it end, people? when??)
Leslie B saysSeptember 24, 2009 at 10:36 am
I do the same thing with old movies and the actors’ ages…and then am shocked when they were younger than I am! I am looking forward to Bossy’s Mackenzie Phillips life retrospective…
corrie saysSeptember 24, 2009 at 10:56 am
Ditto Leslie B. !!
David saysSeptember 24, 2009 at 11:00 am
Aside from the dark hair, another thing many of Judy’s husbands had in common was teh gay.
vuboq saysSeptember 24, 2009 at 11:22 am
I’m 39. Where’s my ‘Paul Newman’ to take pity and sleep with me? WHERE?
Mo saysSeptember 24, 2009 at 11:29 am
Where have all the cowboys goooooone?
Tuli saysSeptember 24, 2009 at 11:34 am
I went as saw the Wizard of Oz last night, too! I’m glad I didn’t have this information in hand prior to seeing the screening because I’m afraid the knowledge of Ms. Garland’s disastrous marriage record would’ve marred the magic a bit. Instead of being all, follow the yellow brick road! I woulda been all, Dorothy! Stay away from the dark-haired dudes!
kristin @ going country saysSeptember 24, 2009 at 11:39 am
Well. I’ll be viewing Dorothy in a whole new light after this.
Lizzy saysSeptember 24, 2009 at 11:39 am
I’m thinking Liza wishes her last name was Rose instead of Minnelli because Vincent Minnelli? Whew! He has a face made for radio.
kate saysSeptember 24, 2009 at 11:46 am
Nance saysSeptember 24, 2009 at 12:04 pm
Also, V. Minnelli was gayer than Mary Christmas, and was the model for Neely O’Hara’s husband in “Valley of the Dolls,” although *that* character, while “double-gaited,” left Neely for a woman.
Very talented, Mr. Minnelli. Did you know he choreographed the March of the Wooden Soldiers in the Rockettes’ Christmas show? Liza looks just like her daddy.
thatgirlblogs saysSeptember 24, 2009 at 12:10 pm
we saw it too… it was longer than I remembered it.
Reeb saysSeptember 24, 2009 at 12:26 pm
Would Bossy please do the research for us and tell us the ages each said husband was vs Judy’s age at each marriage? Just curious. Looks like there’s an inverse something at work there: young Judy, old husband; old Judy, young husband.
Since you’re so good with math and all.
Martha in Kansas saysSeptember 24, 2009 at 12:36 pm
The picture of her with Mark Herron reminds me of Aunt Olive, who used to rock that look. Wild hair, red lipstick, large bag and those wide-collared coats. That’s style!
Half Assed Kitchen saysSeptember 24, 2009 at 12:39 pm
I’d take some Paul Newman pity.
wendy saysSeptember 24, 2009 at 12:42 pm
maybe she was just always searching for her wizard. but she seemed to end up with a munchkin. its too bad. the hollywood machine chews em up and spits em out.
Momish saysSeptember 24, 2009 at 12:44 pm
Way back when, I saw a movie about her (??The Frances Gumm Story??) and ever since then I can’t watch The Wizard of Oz without thinking the entire time, “So this was the start of what fucked this kid up for life.” On another note, I once read that you can’t go seven days without hearing a reference to the Wizard of Oz. Starting the count down now…
Jacquie saysSeptember 24, 2009 at 12:47 pm
For a minute there, I thought you put a wig on your Michael Jackson drawing!
Poor Judy and her giant specs. So many husbands, so little time….
SnowWhite saysSeptember 24, 2009 at 12:54 pm
I agree Momish….. such a sad loss of a talent!
Meg at the Members Lounge saysSeptember 24, 2009 at 12:55 pm
BOSSY can now been seen in a new series of PSA’s; How to scare Young Hollywood with Old Hollywood.
Debby saysSeptember 24, 2009 at 1:20 pm
The first 3 dudes look WAY older than her, in addition to the brunette thing
Cristina saysSeptember 24, 2009 at 1:23 pm
I went the showing last night and immediately looked up the ages of the actors when I got home too! The re-release was fantastic; too bad it was for one night only.
Ms. Cranky Pants saysSeptember 24, 2009 at 1:25 pm
“Associate Husband’ — my best friend has had a couple of those.
Sandi saysSeptember 24, 2009 at 2:03 pm
Anne Bancroft was about the same age as Dustin Hoffman in The Graduate. Man, women always got the shaft.
Dharmamama saysSeptember 24, 2009 at 2:04 pm
I got a little obsessed with Judy when I was in high school – I read “Judy” by Gerold Frank, and haven’t seen Baby Gumm the same way since.
kirsty saysSeptember 24, 2009 at 3:06 pm
Not much to say about Judy or Dorothy, except that I never really “got” that film when I was a kid because I only ever saw it at Christmas on my grandmother’s black and white TV set (no, I’m not a dinosaur, but Britain has always been waaaayyyy behind you guys in…well…just about everything, if I think about it). Oh, the revelation the first time I saw it on a colour set!
Also, this is a test to see if my Internet Explorer/MSN hotmail account combo will let me comment on this site (coz AOL sure won’t)…
The Know it All saysSeptember 24, 2009 at 4:11 pm
Judy, Judy, Judy…
Alissa saysSeptember 24, 2009 at 7:20 pm
Gah, what a sad ending.
SueBoo saysSeptember 24, 2009 at 8:00 pm
oh my gosh, Bossy…you KILL me!!!!
Patty - Why Not Start Now? saysSeptember 24, 2009 at 8:11 pm
Yeah, sad, but you know, she was great. What a voice. But what’s up with that age thing? I do that too with old movies. For some reason I am utterly fascinated by how old the actor was when they made the movie. BTW, Glenn Close was 41 when she played Mel Gibson’s mother in Hamlet. Mel was 32.
josh saysSeptember 24, 2009 at 9:10 pm
is it gross to say that I find all of her former hubbiez quite handsome?! it’s a plethora of Pepawz!
Square Peg saysSeptember 24, 2009 at 9:18 pm
I don’t obsess about the actors’ ages in old films, but I do like to point out to my daughter the actors in any movie that are no longer with us. She thinks it’s weird.
BabyFavorite saysSeptember 24, 2009 at 10:22 pm
My mother worked in a wholesale jewelry store in downtown L.A. in the 1940’s, where Judy Garland frequented. She described her as “classless” and “the lowest of the low.” (And my mother was not a critical or negative person at all!)
I pretended I never heard that, though, because I loved her as Dorothy and always will!
Cupcake Murphy saysSeptember 24, 2009 at 10:34 pm
How could any marriage withstand Vincente Minnelli’s eyebrows?
The Zadge saysSeptember 24, 2009 at 11:41 pm
I think that, other than the drug-dealing, bar-owning, spaced out Number 5, they are all actually the same guy!
Leah saysSeptember 24, 2009 at 11:43 pm
God, how I loved Judy Garland– every movie she ever made, the recordings, even the ones where she flubbed the lyrics (drunk?/stoned?/exhausted?)– what a voice and what a talent. Apparently some of her early and ongoing addictions were fueled by the studios who gave her uppers to overwork her (and help her lose a few pounds) and sleeping pills to get her through the nights… One of the studion execs (forgot who– read the bio long time ago) used to call her “My little hunchback”– she had to overcome the whole ‘not glamorous– just wholesome’ stigma of Hollywood. I’m done now– but I still feel like she got a bad deal… Watch “Meet Me in St. Louis” when she sings “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” to Margaret O’Brien… No, I’m seriously done now… sorrrrrrry/
hula hank saysSeptember 25, 2009 at 6:59 am
You failed to mention which ones were homos. I think it was like all but 2.
Oh well, who am I to judge? I would marry her too… and liza.
Marly saysSeptember 25, 2009 at 9:05 am
I am obsessed with names of these actors. Names are kind of my thing! Check out my post that has links to famous name changes – it is so intriguing to think of someone like Judy Garland as Frances Gumm. I wonder if she never really left Frances behind….
KathyB saysSeptember 26, 2009 at 7:07 pm
But, Bossy, Liza would sue your little fanny to kingdom come if you released that as a poster. You know it is true.
Sad life, gifted artist.
Enrico saysSeptember 29, 2009 at 11:31 pm
Aww. So tragic. And I mean the glasses AND her overdose.