It goes like this: Rosh Hashanah is the Jewish New Year, a day when God sits on a throne and contemplates a person’s deeds, and considers that person’s fate for the coming year, utilizing all of the scribblings in his big record book:
Yom Kippur is the Day of Atonement, which is when God seals the fate of each person based on these contemplations and considerations of deed.
But get this: in between the deciding of the fate, on Rosh Hashanah, and the sealing of the fate, on Yom Kippur, there are ten days in which to amend behaviors and seek forgiveness.
Here’s how Bossy spent her ten days:
Day One: can’t remember
Day Two: can’t remember
Day Three: something about trying not to curse as much, but really — who the fook can remember
Day Five: determined to be a more dedicated mother, Bossy attends back-to-school night. Oh never mind, no she didn’t — she blew it off for a movie
Day Six: disavowing the temptation of frivolous things money can buy, Bossy went to TJ Maxx and purchased a cute scarf, a cute belt, and a cute jacket with fake fur collar. Because cheap cute is not frivolous.
Day Seven: Bossy gave to charity, and that charity was the high school football game, and here’s how Bossy gave — she did not collapse in fits of boredom, except that once. That twice.
Day Eight: something something and then preparing meat sauce something
Day Nine: practiced compassion by watching Urban Cowboy on local cable for the bazillionth time, trying not to throw something through the TV screen when the wild-eyed wealthy girl discards Sissy’s love note after Sissy cleans up Bud’s trailer
Day Ten: who could remember. It’s not as if that day is today. Oh wait.