In regular life, Bossy is a very focused individual, where focused equals what was Bossy saying again? But when it comes to perusing the Internet — and Bossy has written about this before — Bossy has a short attention span and allows herself to skip down a variety of illogical paths, just for sport.
Shall we?
The first stop on her web journey is her son’s Facebook page to see if he’s posted any new photos since the last time Bossy checked 40 minutes ago.
Next Bossy shops for double wrap belts. It doesn’t have to be any particular double wrap belt, as long as it’s a Linea Pelle studded double wrap belt in mahogany:
Before leaving fashion behind, Bossy checks in with the latest trend for Boyfriend everything:
Clothing trends remind Bossy it’s time to check Manhattan real estate! And Bossy immediately finds something with a sizable kitchen!
In fact, the Manhattan real estate company considers this sizeable kitchen such a rarity they include a photo of the kitchen from a different angle!
And, oh yeah, from yet another angle for those with an imagination the size of a gumdrop:
Because, right, the rest of the apartment? That would be this:
Next Bossy checks in with the celebrity gossip:
Mackenzie. Oh, dear Mackenzie. Bossy is so sad for you and your twisted childhood, she cannot even put it into words, except those typed this minute. But honestly, Mackenzie, John Phillips?
And finally, Bossy researches what she considers to be acceptable incest candidates, such as him:
Bossy can sum up her daily Internet romp in this way: There’s nothing better Bossy should be doing. So not true.
Which is what today’s Ten-Word Challenge is all about. In exactly ten words, can you tell Bossy and her council about a few of your Internet search obsessions?
And be sure to check back later today for the most Internet-obsessed of all the web.
If you missed last week’s challenge, click here to read about Bossy’s council’s favorite teachers, described in ten words, of course.
Mom blogs, Go Fug Yourself, Celebrity Gossip, Salon, Overheard NY
BBC, Bossy, Globe&Mail, Flickr, other blogs and then back and forth.
Blogs, MahJong Solitaire,HuffPo,Facebook. eHow fixed my oven thermostat.
Concert tickets, oh my gah too much money, forget it.
Real estate in Mexico. In Germany. In Stockholm, in anywhere.
Food network recipes so Bossy can forget those ingredients too.
work is busy so compare infinity options for hawaiian vacation
Facebook…updates? Facebook…updates? Brother, kids are late for school!
Google Maps satellite version. Looking for obscure road trip routes.
peopleofwalmart.com – I am so going to hell for enjoying this.
Latest obsession is whether to buy Nikon 300mm f/4 lens.
Spending too much time reading reviews and checking its price.
And if buy it, how to sneak it past Mister.
Who notices little but who might notice something that big!
People of Walmart, photo bombers, foreign blogs, and recipe sites.
facebook, Mrs.G, Bossy, etsy, facebook, unnecessaryquotes, passive/aggressive notes, google, facebook
did I say facebook???
Patterned tights, real estate in Chicago and Great Dane puppies.
I follow the same bookmark path like a deranged hamster.
I can’t believe that your son befriended you on FB?! WHat a good spy tool ;)! ha ha!
Bossy.Then see if any word from:
Denzel , Clooney, Sting.
Food sites, BOSSY, Flickr photostream, Ignore MIL Facebook friending me.
my own blog hoping there are more comments not yet.
yahoo, ravelry, peopleofwalmart.com, failblog.org, cakewrecks.com, makefunofmyfriends.com, many many gay blogs!
PS – george clooney HOT HOT HOT HOT!
Mommy Blogs, Humor Blogs, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Real Estate, Facebook.
Should be rewriting resume. Facebook, gchat, greader, online games instead.
Google Reader, Facebook, Farkle on Facebook, Google Reader, Ravelry, Facebook.
(I have never heard of Peopleofwalmart.com — I’m on my way to check it out now.)
How I can decorate my home for $0 or less.
Bossy, Ree, Cruise Critic (new posts?), facebook, now bedtime already?
fabulous ruins and urban prairies of the once-great Detroit
WebMD, Mayo Clinic, Healthline, Hopkins, CDC. Can you say hypercondriac?
I’m in love with that kitchen. Who needs a bed?
No search obsessions here. Everything I need is already bookmarked.
Ebay. Saved searches. “Twirl 4T” Anything new for my princess?
bornintoit.com, boston.com,
Bossy, Facebook, FML, Yahoo, GMail, PioneerWoman, BankofAmerica, nieniedialogues……
(thank you so much for the wet George Clooney pic!)
bossy, gawker, jezebel, coalcreekfarm, thepioneerwoman, mysistersfarmhouse, laugh, then bofa.com, cry
FarmVille on Facebook, and free digital scrapbooking supplies (because … why?).
Time change between MN and Germany, damn Army…
And BossY
Acceptable incest candidates? Not even a little bit funny, Bossy.
Shoes. Google reader. Twitter. Coupons. Shoes. Email. Etsy. amazon. Shoes.
Disney porn (don’t judge), Suburban Kamikaze, Cage Boots, Etsy Jewelry
Email. Bossy. craigslist. Bookmarked jobsites. My blogs. My etsy shop.
In that order, followed by facebook, facebook, facebook.
Desperately seeking Tina Turner wig and green marching band jacket.
Email, fb, peopleofwalmart, fmylife.com, woot, bossy
I seek photos of awful plastic surgery. Is that bad?
Ummm, Facebook, Bossy, charming French antiques blog. Anything but working.
PW, Craigslist, Real Estate, Craigslist, Postmormon.org, Craigslist, who is Craig?
PDub is where I first met BOSSY in all caps.
Facebook, Bossy… THEN Dooce, Meanest Mom. Oops! An hour’s gone!
Check Facebook to see if Bossy ever friended me. Nope.
Bossy; newspaper, to check online comments about my own reporting.
And Cheri? If there was EVER an acceptable incest candidate, it would be George. And yes, I’m a survivor…
dooce,bossy,PW,CakeWrecks,Ryan runs Europe, Farmtown (Oh god I need an intervention), TMZ, banks acct.
Yeah Georgia, why haven’t you friended any of us who love you on FB????? HAter, lol
Facebook, Bossy, Allrecipes.com, bird feeders, how to make the dog sneeze
I am a survivor. Incest is never funny. NOT EVER.
Iambossy because it’s easier than searchg in ‘favorites’, tmz and PW
message boards, blogs, facebook, email, yahoo news, and pogo games
Sleep late. Apply to jobs I don’t want. Read blogs.
textsfromlastnight.com seriously funny stuff
blogs
email
youtube
amazon for books
RedCarpetFashionAwards blog makes me want to buy everything on earth.
slate, bossy, facebook, weather.com, vrbo.com for fantastic vacation home rentals, chicago tribune, daily kos, bossy’s gays, cute shoes at zappos, RINSE and REPEAT
As a survivor, I just have to tell you that I don’t want to be raped at all – whether I’m related or not – whether the predator is handsome or not – and it’s ludicrous to suggest otherwise.
Is there a video I can watch instead of working?
son’s girlfriend’s facebook, mobileme- 4 his whereabouts, PAreap for job, along with 15 different school districts.
textsfromlastnight.com
icanhascheezburger.com
BOSSY
news
comics
Dear Abby
Facebook
email, facebook, email, traceyclark.com, email, iambossy.com, email, lbpost.com, email, facebook
With me, it’s “uhhhh, what was I going to google???”
e-mail, BOSSY, adsense; (made 52 cents- total), FB, stockmarket, Orbitz.
PW, WSC, Dooce, Bossy, Cnn, Swistle, Clueless but, Facebook, Fredericksburg.
(not in any particular order)
Mackenzie Phillips did not choose her dad as an incest partner! It was NOT consensual at all. I don’t care how old she was when it started or how old she was when it ended. He had an abusive power over her. She may have thought she was consenting because he made her believe she was. He abused her in the sickest possible way and then told her she was willing. Bullshit! He was her dad. There’s no scenario in my mind where this was a consensual relationship!!! Consensual can ONLY HAPPEN when there is no one in a position of power over the other!!! Consensual is only between EQUALS! They weren’t ever equals. When she was 19 or when she was 30! Makes me want to heave!
And this is not funny subject matter ever in ANY context whatsoever. I think you should take it down. It’s the only respectable thing to do!
Have ex-boyfriends joined facebook? Are they fat and bald?
1.) My daily internet routine would read like Rain Man’s diary.
2) If the routine is interrupted, there’s a Wapner/KMart moment.
3.) I’m obsessed with Bossy’s boyfriends but especially Husband Kevin Bacon.
4.) Bossy is my favorite way to end a grueling day.
5.) Five minutes to Bossy; Wapner in ten. Definitely Bossy. Definitely.
Who has more hateful stare: Liev Schreiber or Shia Labeouf?
acceptable: pleasing to the receiver; satisfactory; agreeable; welcome.
really?
Bossy, I love your blog and view of life. I think it’s good to have black humor about horrible things, sometimes that’s the only way to talk about them. But I agree with #65. This post didn’t seem like a side ways approach to addressing incest. Not even in a black way. It felt more like you were making fun of her for picking a unsuitable partner. He was her dad, not a date.
You shouldn’t take down a post, but this just didn’t work. It was in poor taste. Please be more careful next time?
I don’t even remember what this post was about. THAT pic of Clooney? After the pic of dirty Mamas & Papas guy? Like a unicorn chaser. OMG the look on Clooney’s face is soooo yummy!
Now THAT is a man! YUM to the EEEEEE!
Yup. This one missed the mark. I know mocking is part of your gig, but you usually do it in such a loving and (often) self-deprecating way. Not so much this time.
Working full-time means showering or surfing the ‘net. Showering wins.
Planning Central American vacations I’ll never take. Then celebrity gossip.
Our small town real estate and facebook games. Sooooo Addicting.
Only caught this on Wed a.m. ….
I loved reading everyone’s comments and made notes of new web sites to try out.
I was relieved to read that others are like trained mice and follow the same steps every day visiting sites in the same rote order…. I knew I was having an issue, but it’s nice to know there’s company.
I did not have an issue with incest black humor, but after reading all the comments have flipped flopped. But all dark humor has a group that has been ‘injured’ so now I’ve flip flopped again!
Incest?! is SEXUAL ACTIVITY between close relatives! It is illegal. It is CHILD ABUSE! It has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma, a trauma that often does serious and long-term psychological damage, especially in the case of parental incest. Seriously? Pick a cuter incest partner? Seriously Bossy. You have a big voice in the blogging community. I wish you would use it better.
In a post about Internet ADD between talking about shorts, belts and kitchens… you slip a casual, comment about CHOOSING A BETTER INCEST PARTNER? BOSSY what the hell are you thinking?
Maybe you don’t know that when incest involves an adult and a child, it is a form of child sexual abuse and is illegal in every developed country in the world? Do you know that?
Who’s looked at my profile on Match, again and again!
obsession: food blogs. I can’t help it, after a few hours of browsing, I grab my husband and force his hand in the kitchen as my unwilling assistant; holding the thermometer, mixing batters (DON’T STIR IT LIKE THAT! here, let me show you.) can I have two eggs? OMG what happened to my meringue!?! and doing dishes. After the sweaty sessions we collapse in a boneless heap on the floor. Never to cook again.
Until I check Smitten Kitchen the next day…
wednesday already, yet so much more new teasers within comments!
I like to read a blog called I Am Bossy.
Bossy, dear bossy, incest not funny. Usually you are clever and witty.
I know dark humor exists, but really- was it necessary?
I visit Bossy’s blog and click on all her links.
Reading Bossy who knows that humor isn’t always so PC.
The message you mean to send is that if the incest “candidate” is as cute as George Clooney it isn’t rape-rape?
That is what you’ve said.