For those of you who haven’t heard—hi dad, Bossy promises to call you back just as soon as her voice isn’t muffled under her comforter — Bossy took to her bed yesterday to try to solve a few of her life’s riddles.
And, indeed, Bossy has found it intensely satisfying to dedicate so much time to thinking growing her toenails.
First Bossy would like to take you on a little tour of what’s what. This is Bossy’s view from her bed raft, where she is currently adrift:
And this is what Bossy is wearing:
One of the many things Bossy is trying to puzzle-out is a business idea she’s been harboring for too many weeks wrapped in months. And within a few minutes wrapped in hours, Bossy became inspired and reached for her laptop to check the Internet for available website URLs! And people? All of the relevant words in the history of words are already taken.
And so Bossy invented new words, and twisted those invented words into unlikely combinations. And people? Those URLs are taken too.
Next Bossy contemplated the future of her current website, a little thing she likes to call iamboozy.com.
Bossy thought about what the future holds for her little blog that could and the many features left abandoned in her left column. And so Bossy thought she would meditate on this problem until the answer materialized, which it did!
In a dream!
And in this dream, Bossy’s friend was hosting a party where a weird circus was being broadcast on a large screen, and when Bossy complained to her friend about the weird circus, Bossy’s friend, who was shutting herself away on the other side of a sliding glass door, replied with the old smoker’s voice she doesn’t really have, “Well don’t I know it, honey, I like to watch hockey.”
So, yeah!
Next Bossy there was no next. Because Bossy’s daughter came home from school and Bossy scurried down the steps as if everything was normal, where normal equals watching Aunt Oprah, which, let’s face it, isn’t too different from taking to bed.
And about the remainder of the night, let Bossy just admit: it’s pretty hard to isolate oneself in a broody bed when one’s baseball team is in the National Championship series. And about that? One more game takes it, Phillies!
So far Bossy can sum up her experience of taking to bed in this way: Doing is more productive than thinking, but she can’t stop.
Which is what today’s Ten-Word Challenge is all about. In exactly ten words, can you tell Bossy and her council all about which issues you would spend your time puzzling-out if you were to take to your bed?
And don’t forget to check back later today for the most puzzling bed dilemmas on the internet.
If you missed last week’s challenge, click here to read about the many charming family idioms represented by Bossy’s creative council.
Sue V. says
October 20, 2009 at 9:28 amOnly I change the TP roll?! Is it that hard?!
BOSSY says
October 20, 2009 at 9:43 amShould Bossy attempt to write a book? Who really cares?
BOSSY says
October 20, 2009 at 9:44 amBossy needs to think of the next BIG THING. Oy.
Carrie says
October 20, 2009 at 9:44 amForget deep thought, private beddy bye solitude is sleep babyyy.
Debby says
October 20, 2009 at 9:45 amHow can I work less but vacation more?
BOSSY says
October 20, 2009 at 9:45 amHow can Bossy recover fallen stats resulting from technical clusterfook?
chocolatechic says
October 20, 2009 at 9:46 amWhy the husband MUST crash perfectly good vehicles every 3 years.
BOSSY says
October 20, 2009 at 9:48 amDid lack of parental massage inhibit healing of daughter’s lip?
21st Century Housewife says
October 20, 2009 at 9:49 amShould I write that novel? How about a plot? Anyone?
alwyn says
October 20, 2009 at 9:50 amShould it be a novel or a memoir? Truth hurts.
BossysMom says
October 20, 2009 at 9:58 amWhat was driving me to do the stupid things in past.
BOSSY says
October 20, 2009 at 10:00 amWhat’s driving Bossy to do the stupid things in future.
Meg at the Members Lounge says
October 20, 2009 at 10:01 amTurning 51 means I’m really the new 41? Desperately hoping?
corrie says
October 20, 2009 at 10:01 amThough I cannot handle reality, I must make my own circumstances~ I cannot do everything at once, let me do something at once!
WebSavyMom says
October 20, 2009 at 10:02 am–>Why do I cook dinner every night. We both eat.
Lizzy says
October 20, 2009 at 10:05 amIs it really wrong to rob banks? I’d be polite.
Bonnie says
October 20, 2009 at 10:15 amExactly how much time do I spend on the internet?
rockle says
October 20, 2009 at 10:17 amoh my GOD, what IS that THING on the ceiling?
Jeri says
October 20, 2009 at 10:22 amWho am I meant to be?
Heather T says
October 20, 2009 at 10:23 amI took to my bed and didn’t solve anything either.
ashley says
October 20, 2009 at 10:23 amDo I start new blog? hindered by own panic-y fear.
(also have recently pondered the details of Bossy’s clusterfook)
(And cheers to Lizzy #16, very clever)
Gaby says
October 20, 2009 at 10:27 amHow can I find a job that actually appeals/stimulates/challenges/pleases me? (using slashes between the words = one word…kind of like having 10 of one item plus all your others still allows you to in the 20 items or fewer aisle…just kidding, those people are wrong!)
Colette says
October 20, 2009 at 10:33 amWill I ever find a job I like? Now depressed….
Lisa! says
October 20, 2009 at 10:34 amWhat is this mess I have made of my life?
margaret says
October 20, 2009 at 10:45 amHow can I quit the job I thought I wanted?
SnowWhite says
October 20, 2009 at 10:47 amHow long can I stay here before someone comes looking for me?
Jamie says
October 20, 2009 at 10:47 amShould I quit the blog? When will we get engaged?
BOSSY says
October 20, 2009 at 10:51 amTicking clock must force question: Is this all there is?
karen l says
October 20, 2009 at 10:54 amshould I start the blog? quit fiddle-fartin around?
karen l says
October 20, 2009 at 10:56 amwhat about the pattern design? moving forward? treading water? crap.
karen l says
October 20, 2009 at 10:58 amI would get a neck-ache looking up/back into that skylight!
Rachel says
October 20, 2009 at 11:01 amWould Bossy consider renting her bed…Seasonal Affective Disorder looming.
allison in houston says
October 20, 2009 at 11:01 amjust hanging on doesn’t really get you anywhere. need jumpstart.
Kathryn A says
October 20, 2009 at 11:02 amReduce errands, increase writing and running. How to stay well?
Smalltown Mom says
October 20, 2009 at 11:04 amWhy can’t I think of anything interesting to blog about?
Owengirl79 says
October 20, 2009 at 11:14 amStress test >3 yesses = “spent” 7.5/13 = bedtime
BOSSY says
October 20, 2009 at 11:17 amWhen is Too Late in fact not at all?
BOSSY says
October 20, 2009 at 11:20 amHow will Bossy know? Six words are for sale here.
Momish says
October 20, 2009 at 11:23 amPursue PhD in philosophy? Requires a vow of poverty, though.
kristin @ going country says
October 20, 2009 at 11:27 amA name for this baby. I am possibly OVERthinking this.
Momish says
October 20, 2009 at 11:30 amWhy did I make that left at Albuquerque? Forever lost.
Momish says
October 20, 2009 at 11:31 amIf time travel existed, what exactly would I do differently?
Meribon says
October 20, 2009 at 11:35 amTo have another baby or buy new shoes? and travel!
jp says
October 20, 2009 at 11:45 amIs being out of work really such a bad thing?
(Why, yes Dear, I am really trying to find a job. Why do you ask???)
Little Miss Sunshine State says
October 20, 2009 at 11:47 amWhy are there 100 unfinished projects in my walk-in closet?
21st Century Housewife says
October 20, 2009 at 11:49 amIs it true? Could I really be BOSSY’s angsty twin?
Em says
October 20, 2009 at 11:51 amtoo late = dead
my ponderings:
new blog, left columns, right columns, content, tabs, launch date
Deb Mc says
October 20, 2009 at 12:13 pmHusband lost job, health insurance crisis looming, national health care?
Reeb says
October 20, 2009 at 12:19 pmWhy does my back hurt more lying than sitting straight?
Reeb says
October 20, 2009 at 12:21 pmI’d find something delightfully soothing to read. + wine or tea.
Dharmamama says
October 20, 2009 at 12:27 pmHow can I unschool successfully AND earn a good income?
Dharmamama says
October 20, 2009 at 12:28 pmI’m with Em. Never too late unless you’ve stopped breathing.
TanyaK says
October 20, 2009 at 12:40 pmWhy do I keep squashing all chances of a relationship?
The Domestic Goddess says
October 20, 2009 at 12:44 pmHow can I possibly squeeze in more time to sleep?
anne marie in philly says
October 20, 2009 at 12:58 pmmarriage, war, poverty, injustice, inequality, life, travel destinations, phillies baseball.
GO DEFENDING WFC PHILLIES!!!!! 🙂
foolery says
October 20, 2009 at 12:58 pmJob good, money bad. Blog good, money nonexistent.Hi BOSSY.
carson says
October 20, 2009 at 1:06 pmWhat’s the secret to winning one of Pioneer Woman’s giveaways?
deedle says
October 20, 2009 at 1:08 pmHow to get a job after 16 long years away?
Helen says
October 20, 2009 at 1:12 pmMy life’s half over – is the best yet to come?
Cactus Petunia says
October 20, 2009 at 1:13 pmWhen should I stop solving my children’s problems for them?
chuck says
October 20, 2009 at 1:18 pmI really will miss visiting Bossy’s blog. Too depressing.
Cactus Petunia says
October 20, 2009 at 1:24 pmMiddle aged at 52…is 104 out of the question?
sugapie says
October 20, 2009 at 1:26 pmSoon unable physically to continue 35 year career. Now what? Recollege? Desk job for half pay?
(Bossy, 38- I bought those six words. The check in in the mail, but please dont cash it till the 1st of November.)
km says
October 20, 2009 at 1:26 pmwhere did teenage dreams(and abs) go? More wine please.
Cactus Petunia says
October 20, 2009 at 1:31 pmIf women only ran the world, would everyone play nicely?
Alissa says
October 20, 2009 at 1:32 pmWow, my to-do list doubled while I was in bed today.
Linda says
October 20, 2009 at 1:50 pmI never noticed the cobwebs, dust bunnies, laundry or trash.
karen l says
October 20, 2009 at 1:57 pmlife is lived one minute at a time… do it.
Caroline says
October 20, 2009 at 1:58 pmHow interesting, today’s subject.
I think the obvious solution for your reader attrition is BOSSY TV. You could get a video camera–maybe the nice Flip people would sponsor you!–and you and your fabulous and fearless daughter could film events, experiences, adventures, people, in your neighborhood, family, life, whatever and whoever is interesting and weird and fun. I think your wonderful whimsical photo editing skills (Barbie African Queen, anyone?) might transfer delightfully to video.
And I, for one, would watch every last minute of BOSSY TV. Eagerly and gleefully!
chook says
October 20, 2009 at 2:00 pmbossy, get out of bed. the sun is shining.
adria says
October 20, 2009 at 2:03 pmWill my 19 y/o back hurt… for the rest of my life?!?
p.j. says
October 20, 2009 at 2:07 pmI must take control of our finances and retirment planning.
p.j. says
October 20, 2009 at 2:11 pmAnd proofreading: retirEment.
Bossy: I hope you will get some help if you need it. Pharmaceuticals are a huge help. Go outside and sit in the sunshine for a bit. Take care of you, p.j.
Nallie62 says
October 20, 2009 at 2:33 pmIs homeschoo right choice? Forge new path or follow heard?
Tracy (Oklahoma) says
October 20, 2009 at 2:48 pmI’m 44. Kids grown and gone. What next? I’m sad.
Biddy says
October 20, 2009 at 3:09 pmThese are the best years of my life? WANT REFUND!!
Evolving says
October 20, 2009 at 3:14 pmMove back to US for aging mother? Stay in Paris?
LOVE life here but how do I get a visa?
This would be a good time to write my book.
This would be a good time to revise my resume.
This would be a good time to practice passé composé.
I could also get a start on my art project.
Bossy may choose from any of the above. Also? Some book on Oprah’s book club said something to the effect of “To suceed you have to have all your energy pointed in the same direction: head, heart and actions.” Whatever you decide Bossy, do with all your energy. 😉
anonymous says
October 20, 2009 at 3:34 pmWhy won’t I just diet and lose the weight already?
Liz says
October 20, 2009 at 3:37 pmWhy my life is controlled by uncontrollable little things.
Am I doomed to failure always?
How do I create more time in my life?
These are depressing. I know. It’s that kind of day/week/month. Maybe I should take to my bed too.
linlah says
October 20, 2009 at 3:52 pmWhy fear of success greater than my fear of failure.
bobbie says
October 20, 2009 at 3:59 pmHow do I start working again after 19 years home?
Red Hamster says
October 20, 2009 at 4:03 pmHow can I take to my bed and get folks to send me expensive, delightful, dark chocolate treats, so that I never have to get out of bed and go back to my boring job to earn money to buy dark chocolate?
Martie says
October 20, 2009 at 4:06 pmDo I feel manic? or depressive? I need more meds.
Amelia says
October 20, 2009 at 4:12 pmHow can I make money from home to stay w/new baby?
Brava97 says
October 20, 2009 at 4:41 pmIf I leave him, where do I go?
Sheryl W says
October 20, 2009 at 4:47 pmWhat am I going to do when I grow up?
When is the right thing going to interest me enough to do for the rest of my working years….
Lauren says
October 20, 2009 at 5:17 pmHow much more tinkering does my book query really need?
APeetsMom says
October 20, 2009 at 5:20 pmHow does a mother stay exactly on that fooking (thanks for that word bossy…) FINE LINE that is locking your teenager in her room or letting your teenager become and adult???
PATTY says
October 20, 2009 at 5:21 pmten words not enough today dear bossy…
it is what it is…
APeetsMom says
October 20, 2009 at 5:35 pmoops – I forgot it was 10 word tuesday. sorry!
bossy's friend martha's sis says
October 20, 2009 at 5:53 pmWhat will my perfect life look and feel like? REALLY!
Bush Babe says
October 20, 2009 at 6:40 pmBed’s are for sleeping. Or updating blog posts! 🙂
Bush Babe says
October 20, 2009 at 6:40 pmPS #85 {{hugs}}
Jill says
October 20, 2009 at 7:23 pmThis is the worst ten word tuesday of all time.
Nancy says
October 20, 2009 at 7:25 pmWe read what you have to say – Isn’t that enough?
ally tart check says
October 20, 2009 at 7:27 pmyour lives sound like my life~ going back to bed.
my thanks to chocolatechic and lizzy; i needed those laughs.
Ashley says
October 20, 2009 at 7:29 pmWhat do I need change to make ME like me?
Leah says
October 20, 2009 at 7:51 pmWhy don’t I refer to myself in the third person?
cat says
October 20, 2009 at 8:45 pmWhat? I’m confused. Stats are down? Bossy is moving on????
Mimi says
October 20, 2009 at 8:55 pmWhy can’t I get out of bed and start doing?
BabyFavorite says
October 20, 2009 at 9:21 pmI’d puzzle and puzzle til my puzzler was sore.
(About what? I dunno.)
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
October 20, 2009 at 9:32 pmI need to find extra income without losing my mind.
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
October 20, 2009 at 9:33 pmI’d contemplate untapped income possibilities in a remote, rural community.
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
October 20, 2009 at 9:36 pmThen I’d realize there are no possibilities and I’d cry.
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
October 20, 2009 at 9:36 pmThen I’d rush out and buy lottery tickets. And pray.
Cupcake Murphy says
October 20, 2009 at 10:14 pmCan’t believe I made it. Then: worry, worry, worry, worry.
amy says
October 20, 2009 at 11:01 pmI DON’T think, I read and sleeep. Selfish time.
Pop and Ice says
October 20, 2009 at 11:27 pmCan I manage to get to sleep without taking Klonopin?
Helen+ilana=Hi says
October 20, 2009 at 11:49 pmStats down? Sorry my fault. Clicking will resume post haste.
Helen+ilana=Hi says
October 20, 2009 at 11:52 pmOh wait….. is this a new poverty party strategy thing?
sugarpie says
October 21, 2009 at 12:05 amNot depressing at all! Everyone should retreat now and again.
Bonnie says
October 21, 2009 at 12:42 amBest therapist ever said, “depressed” means you need Deep Rest.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
naomi says
October 21, 2009 at 1:31 ami think the thing i’d ponder is how to keep staying in bed and pondering and get paid for it. i mean, it’d be nice to be able to do my work from bed.
the unruly helpmeet says
October 21, 2009 at 8:23 amTo solve world hunger zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Yay! Now it’s my birthday!
Jennifer says
October 21, 2009 at 5:19 pmWho else in the world has 20 year old sheets?
Audrey says
October 22, 2009 at 1:17 amWhat I really want is to spit in time’s face.
Elizabeth says
October 23, 2009 at 4:28 pmHow do I overcome body issues and finally lose weight?