You are looking at a plate of cookies. Cracked cookies, to be exact. And no they are not broken cookies or even crumbled cookies, because then the whole idea behind this post would fail, which would be the absolute not first time that ever happened.
Where were we? Cracked cookies. You see, in Bossy’s family growing up, this phrase had a different meaning. When one is crackin’ cookies, one is said to be — how to put this delicately — one is said to be exhaling. Exhaling anally.
You know, the call of the backdoor trumpet. A bottom burp. Fannitosis. Laughing ass. Thunder in the buns.
Bossy doesn’t know why her family historically referred to farting as crackin’ cookies, except there’s a disturbing parallel in the sounds both make.
Bossy can sum up this idiomatic family expression in this way: This whole post was Bossy’s mom’s idea. Please blame her.
Which is what today’s Ten-Word Challenge is all about. In exactly ten words, can you tell Bossy about an expression that is very specific to your family?
And be sure to check back later today for the most expressiony family idioms on the web.
If you missed last week’s challenge, click here to read about the assorted icky jobs held by Bossy’s council.
Amy says
October 13, 2009 at 9:07 amIn our house we call it “Firing the pants cannon.”
Beth says
October 13, 2009 at 9:08 am“The embarrassing planet” = one’s, um, anal opening.
(Ur-anus, get it?).
BOSSY says
October 13, 2009 at 9:11 amDoggie Diamonds = dog poo.
Got five words to sell…
delilah the unruly helpmeet says
October 13, 2009 at 9:11 amStew with ketchup and beef is Smutyard Stew. Mmm. Smut.
21st Century Housewife says
October 13, 2009 at 9:12 amAs trips started: “We’re off like a herd of turtles.”
dgm says
October 13, 2009 at 9:13 amWhen my daughter was little I was trying to explain to her why we limited the amount of time she could play on the computer or watch TV. “It’s because you get . . .” I said, searching for a way to describe the irritable, bitchy, overall unpleasant crackfiend type behavior that overtakes kids who engage in excessive amounts of audio-visual stimulation.
“Watchy?” she asked. And that was the perfect word for it. “Getting watchy.”
BOSSY says
October 13, 2009 at 9:14 amGetting flat. Means taking a nap, or having a lie-down.
dgm says
October 13, 2009 at 9:14 amGah! That wasn’t ten words. sorry!
William says
October 13, 2009 at 9:23 am“Quiet Time” yelled loud meant parents were going to bed.
Tina B says
October 13, 2009 at 9:24 amThe driver of a car that backfires is called “Uncle Buck”.
BOSSY says
October 13, 2009 at 9:24 amMenz Mood = bad mood; came from a restaurant, Menz’s.
The Domestic Goddess says
October 13, 2009 at 9:24 amStinky cheese = an inedible-sounds name for parmesan. Ewww, right?
BOSSY says
October 13, 2009 at 9:25 amSpit fit. When you are crying uncontrollably. Like kid tantrum.
Carrie says
October 13, 2009 at 9:28 am“Whatever floats your boat” echos our family halls, uh huh.
anne marie in philly says
October 13, 2009 at 9:28 am“open the windows and let the stink out” – my grandmother
JustJuli says
October 13, 2009 at 9:29 amDrop the wood = just let it go. let. it. go.
TanyaK says
October 13, 2009 at 9:37 amTootcher – With the “oo” sounding like the “u” in push. It’s our family name for a pacifier or Nuk.
PTA bath – Pits, tits & ass washed in the sink with a washcloth.
Acher says
October 13, 2009 at 9:37 am“Let’s get out of here before it bursts into flames.”
My dad’s way of saying that its time to go. Like, right now.
Grandma J says
October 13, 2009 at 9:43 amWhen someone starts rambling on and on my grandmother would say:
“Freeze your tongue, and give your tonsils a sleigh ride”
and coincidently, it’s exactly ten words with no embellishments!
Deborah says
October 13, 2009 at 9:44 amTV doover. Teen embarrased at friends house. Remote!Why parents?
Rachel says
October 13, 2009 at 9:47 amMy baby daddy says, “Let’s get the kids outta here and blow the stink off ’em”
Just Shireen says
October 13, 2009 at 9:49 amOh my hat. ‘Hat’ can also be substituted with ‘nipple’.
wendy says
October 13, 2009 at 9:49 amanother name for passing gas in our family “Ripping Ass”
km says
October 13, 2009 at 9:50 amPesto dishes are called “Alien pasta” for their green color
WebSavyMom says
October 13, 2009 at 9:51 amSiblings referring to our parents as Your mom or dad…
Jen says
October 13, 2009 at 9:53 amThe split down your backside = The Crack of Doom.
MidLifeMama says
October 13, 2009 at 9:57 am“Makes my cheeks sweat” – when you eat something super tart.
BOSSY says
October 13, 2009 at 10:00 amMy fricks are cheesing. Cold weather, originally mixed up words.
delilah the unruly helpmeet says
October 13, 2009 at 10:00 amNoonie Bird = PC term for raging asshat or bad driver.
Deb says
October 13, 2009 at 10:01 am“What kind of potatoes do you want?” = someone died.
Liz C says
October 13, 2009 at 10:07 amChildhood in the early sixties meant ‘gas pops’ instead of farts.
chocolatechic says
October 13, 2009 at 10:10 amOoooooooah….it is the sound that we make when we give a hug…so we give ooooooah’s not hugs.
Lorna says
October 13, 2009 at 10:23 amAir Potty = passing gas
Jenni D. says
October 13, 2009 at 10:26 am“Trouser ghost” meant passing gas. “Diaper ghost” used for babies!
leslie says
October 13, 2009 at 10:31 am“I’ve been busier than a cat covering up shit”===BUSY!!!
Julie says
October 13, 2009 at 10:33 am“han-i-ty-zer” = my kids version of hand sanitizer.
E says
October 13, 2009 at 10:34 am“Have you pooped lately” was Mom’s remedy to EVERYTHING amiss.
dexter says
October 13, 2009 at 10:38 amIf you keep touching it your sheldon will fall off
TaraLB says
October 13, 2009 at 10:40 amin our house we eat GOLO 2 or 3 times a week. GOLO = Good Old Left Overs. We also sometimes have VOLO (Very Old Left Overs) and when staying with family or friends OPLO (Other People’s Left Overs).
It was a phrase my late Uncle came up with an the whole family uses today. New people (read: new girl/boyfriends) sometime think we don’t speak English.
maresi says
October 13, 2009 at 10:41 amTime is measured in “Godfathers”. How long? About three Godfathers.
Bridget says
October 13, 2009 at 10:45 amWe called it “shooting bunnies” which, now that I reflect back on it, seems a bit morbid.
Lauren says
October 13, 2009 at 10:53 amMy mom calls it “boating”.
Suzanne says
October 13, 2009 at 10:56 amWho Fard that shot? My dad was one classy guy.
BOSSY says
October 13, 2009 at 10:56 amBippers. That’s pacifier, and Bossy never needs to see another.
BOSSY says
October 13, 2009 at 10:57 amLooks good from Broadway & Federal. (distant intersection; means good enough.)
ris says
October 13, 2009 at 10:58 am“Happy Birthday” means oversharing. Confusing but also very funny, useful.
BOSSY says
October 13, 2009 at 10:59 amBusier than a one-armed paper-hanger with crabs. Busy!
Suzanne says
October 13, 2009 at 10:59 amAhhh… 21st Century Housewife! You brought back memories.. EVERY single trip started with that statement. “We off like a herd of turtles” 🙂 Love it!
Jamie says
October 13, 2009 at 10:59 amDeparting in a hurry? You’re “off like a prom dress.”
BOSSY says
October 13, 2009 at 11:00 amRaining to beat the band. No ordinary rainfall, no sirree.
BOSSY says
October 13, 2009 at 11:01 amGoing to Collingdale. Means died. Due to *busy* local cemetery.
Miss Spoken says
October 13, 2009 at 11:06 amDid you do someone else’s chores? You are a SMACK.
Miss Spoken says
October 13, 2009 at 11:08 am“It’s raining pitchforks and hammer heads.” Super storm. Hail, too.
Ellen says
October 13, 2009 at 11:10 amArnold = a wedgie
butt trumpet = fart
Heidi says
October 13, 2009 at 11:12 am“Standing there with your teeth in your mouth” = not busy.
Lee says
October 13, 2009 at 11:17 amMy kids changed “chicken pot-pie” to “Pappa Chick Eye”.
DebF says
October 13, 2009 at 11:22 amBehind the door when God passed out the brains = stupid
Dawn in Austin says
October 13, 2009 at 11:23 am“You have the same pants to get glad in”= don’t be mad
Dawn in Austin says
October 13, 2009 at 11:24 amLeaving on a trip is “off like a new bride’s panties”
rockle says
October 13, 2009 at 11:26 am“dusting the furniture” = parents gettin’ bizzay = GIANT EWW.
Jen K says
October 13, 2009 at 11:29 am“My butt said cookies” term for passing gas, coined by youngest daughter.
bdaiss says
October 13, 2009 at 11:30 am“Sew buttons on your old man’s underwear zippers are out of style.”
Lorna says
October 13, 2009 at 11:34 amHappy hour = “Anybody want a dinkie?” asked Dad. Couldn’t wait until I was 18 (the drinking age where I come from back when I came from there) so I could say, “I’ll have one.”
Barb says
October 13, 2009 at 11:47 amWhen asked what the Doctor said, you ALWAYS reply “He said, “buy your jelly beans one at a time and don’t start any continuing stories”.” (Double quotes??)
Marnie says
October 13, 2009 at 11:48 am“Kennelty box” = where the dog goes when he’s in trouble.
(= kennel + penalty box)
birdie says
October 13, 2009 at 11:51 ampee = “little”, poop = “big” go big or go home = HILARIOUS
Kristina says
October 13, 2009 at 11:55 am“You drive like Steve McQueen” when someone takes a fast corner!
Luann says
October 13, 2009 at 12:01 pmIf I drink coffee too late it makes me owlish
Lizzy says
October 13, 2009 at 12:15 pm“Going to the movies with your mother” meant excitement ahead!
OH-Ang says
October 13, 2009 at 12:30 pm“I’m sweating like a turkey on Thanksgiving Day”. = really hot
BossysMom says
October 13, 2009 at 12:31 pmFrontbottom…too funny UK….our families’ is “ticket”.
Don’t ask.
NutellaonToast says
October 13, 2009 at 12:34 pmAt 15 when I learned chutebomb doesn’t mean laundry chute.
BossysMom says
October 13, 2009 at 12:38 pmTop dog is “One who swings the biggest dick”. thanksdad.
Fabs says
October 13, 2009 at 12:40 pmWe call farts “fluffs” at our house.
POD says
October 13, 2009 at 12:42 pmI have to go do my big job = #2.
POD says
October 13, 2009 at 12:44 pmThere aren’t little jobs – Only ‘big jobs’ in my family.
leslie says
October 13, 2009 at 12:53 pm“I’m as nervous as a whore in church”—well you get the picture.
karen l says
October 13, 2009 at 12:54 pmPotty Puff…”do I hear thunder”…”where’s that dog?” – ripper!
Martha in Kansas says
October 13, 2009 at 12:55 pm“Guaranteed not to rust, bust, collect dust, rip, ravel, or run down at the heels” = fixed
Gaby says
October 13, 2009 at 12:57 pmHusband’s family called the penis a “tallywacker.”
My family: pacifier = binky.
adria says
October 13, 2009 at 1:22 pm“to oar (someone)”= to decapitate by use of an oar
my rowing teammates (college fam) use this terminology to express our frustration with others.
debs says
October 13, 2009 at 1:33 pmHarry (the dog) “let a booper” (farted). Farts = boopers. You “let” a booper.
Julie G. says
October 13, 2009 at 1:43 pm“We have a security breach at los pantalones.” (zipper is down, of course)
Scottsdale Girl says
October 13, 2009 at 1:45 pmWhen referring to time passing quickly – “The tempest sure do fugit”
Kirsten says
October 13, 2009 at 1:47 pmBig Mama: “I love you a bushel and a peck.”
Debbie says
October 13, 2009 at 1:48 pm“Chee mu” used for “excuse me.” Thanks dd2, now 8.
Jacquie says
October 13, 2009 at 1:53 pmA boring story is called “a turkey sandwich.” got mayo?
Ms. Cranky Pants says
October 13, 2009 at 1:55 pmPluggie = pacifier. Poo Poo Bubble: well, you get the idea.
Jacquie says
October 13, 2009 at 1:55 pmneed a nap?Just say you need to “get organized”
Jacquie says
October 13, 2009 at 1:56 pmPoop left in the toilet is called a “brown trout”
Momish says
October 13, 2009 at 1:58 pmBiddabiddageek=down there. Because apparently the word vagina was inappropriate.
Summertime says
October 13, 2009 at 2:00 pmGrandpa’s farts were marked by phrase “the spiders are barking”
Momish says
October 13, 2009 at 2:01 pm“gopher’s in the hole” = gotta get to bathroom right now
Summertime says
October 13, 2009 at 2:01 pm“Squishy Chicken” for I love you as a wee one.
–I have no idea where it came from, by the way, but now it’s ingrained in family vocabulary.–
Momish says
October 13, 2009 at 2:02 pmstraight as passyunk avenue (a very crooked street in Philly)
Amanda says
October 13, 2009 at 2:05 pmSummertime- my family knows all about the barking spiders!
“You can want in one hand, and $h!t in the other; see which one fills up first.
Standard response to “I want….”
AnnB says
October 13, 2009 at 2:06 pmhusky pivens a.k.a. intestinal distress
Momish says
October 13, 2009 at 2:10 pmNever made much sense to me, but…Bird chill = cold.
APeetsMom says
October 13, 2009 at 2:26 pmOh – I am laughing so hard – Great pick Boosy’s mom!!
Here’s one my husband made up:
“Got to go – Senor Poop is knocking on la puerta!”
BOSSY says
October 13, 2009 at 2:27 pmNow look who’s suckin’ the hind tit. (When unfortunate circumstances.)
Mike13833 says
October 13, 2009 at 2:27 pmAhh… the ‘ol Adirondack barking spiders. (outdoor types 😉
BOSSY says
October 13, 2009 at 2:29 pmWatching I, Claudius. Bossy’s mom’s code name for General Hospital.
Anne says
October 13, 2009 at 2:29 pm“Stepping on frogs” politely refers to those sounds originating anally!
andrea says
October 13, 2009 at 2:34 pm“sniffin’ bananas” = distracting someone from the larger issue at hand
(I need more than 10 words to explain tho…..my aunt and uncle had a cat back in the 70’s who was caught on the dinner table, as we were setting it. The centerpiece was a bowl full of assorted fake fruit. The table had a lot of food on it, but the area of interest was a platter of pork chops. When she was caught, she was sitting by them, but when we came in the room, she started sniffin’ the bananas. Like yeah, right, I’m not really trying to snag a chop, I’m just here sniffing these yummy bananas)
andrea says
October 13, 2009 at 2:35 pm“frog barks” = farts
21st Century Housewife says
October 13, 2009 at 2:45 pm“If you stick that lip out any further, you’re gonna step on it.” = Stop pouting.
Evans says
October 13, 2009 at 2:48 pmLetter in the mailbox = wedgie
Laynie says
October 13, 2009 at 3:04 pmNervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
Tara says
October 13, 2009 at 3:11 pm“Did you see that baby elephant run by?” = passing gas
Squeebles = Diarrhea
“Pushing bitty’s in the bush” and “telling toadlies” = fibbing
“That’s more gooderish” = that’s better
heartworks says
October 13, 2009 at 3:12 pmCan I sleep out tonight? = Bring me Toilet Paper!
heartworks says
October 13, 2009 at 3:13 pmI’m sick of talking to you = Love you, bye.
dobie says
October 13, 2009 at 3:15 pm“G’n’P it” means speed up and overtake meandering Geriats and Pediats clogging NYC sidewalks.
Karla says
October 13, 2009 at 3:23 pmfloating air biscuits = farting
gracielew says
October 13, 2009 at 3:25 pm“Throw some spit on it” = Grandpas’ way of healing every boo-boo
Lisa Rae @ smacksy says
October 13, 2009 at 3:46 pmPassing gas = “Flats.”
Was 35 before realized short for “Flatulence.”
Michele says
October 13, 2009 at 4:19 pmDifferent means ugly. Well that’s different leads to any of us wincing. No matter who says it. LOL
Nancy says
October 13, 2009 at 4:39 pmSister’s dog eats catcrap from litterbox
now forever called “Scoobysnacks”
Reeb says
October 13, 2009 at 6:12 pm“You girls make yourselves useful as well as ornamental!”
nine words. that’s how long the saying was.
Reeb says
October 13, 2009 at 6:13 pm[Addendum to above note: it wasn’t a “saying” but Mom’s stern instruction to us to get cracking. Er, that is, to get to work.]
Marjorie of Connecticut says
October 13, 2009 at 6:20 pm“I’m wearing the booby earrings for my New York trip.”
Valarie says
October 13, 2009 at 6:21 pm“It’ll never be seen on a galloping horse.” My grandmother’s expression for “not perfect, but good enough.”
Angie @ KEEP BELIEVING says
October 13, 2009 at 6:24 pmYou are no bigger than a minute = you are thin.
Angie @ KEEP BELIEVING says
October 13, 2009 at 6:24 pmI have a turd honking for the right of way.
Reeb says
October 13, 2009 at 6:26 pmDgm/6 — that story was totally worth all those wordy words.
Reeb says
October 13, 2009 at 6:32 pmSuspicious noise. Lift sofa cushions, search everywhere. “Where’s that spider?”
Reeb says
October 13, 2009 at 6:34 pm“If I get there first, I’ll draw a blue line. If you get there first, you rub it out.”
too long for 10, but I’ve always loved the illogic of this and had to include it. That West Texas grandfather of mine had some great sayings.
Reeb says
October 13, 2009 at 6:35 pmMy civilized mother called farts “stinkers”.
Okay, I’ll stop now.
BOSSY says
October 13, 2009 at 6:39 pm“Gonna get comfortable” – means changing from sweats into worse sweats.
NellyFrittata says
October 13, 2009 at 6:58 pm“Good enough for the girls we go with” : That’ll do.
Blog Princess G says
October 13, 2009 at 7:26 pm“Cickie” is what we call chicken. All young cousin’s fault.
Melissa says
October 13, 2009 at 7:28 pm“I’m going to crown you.”
Never heard it from anyone but my mother. And thank goodness! It would be pretty presumptuous from anyone else, really.
Jenn says
October 13, 2009 at 8:11 pmNutty as a peach orchard boar = you’re acting crazy
Raining like a cow pissing on a flat rock = raining really hard
Happy as a pig in shit = contented
Sweating like a whore in church = really hot
I could go on and on. Did I mention Mom’s from Arkansas?
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
October 13, 2009 at 8:34 pm1. My hair was “hooraw’s nest” to my grandmother. Not complimentary.
2. “Your hair looks like the cat’s been suckin’ on it.”
3. If anyone questions why I have serious issues, see above.
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
October 13, 2009 at 8:35 pmWhen we sneeze, my mother says, “Wootchie Gootchie.” Yes indeed.
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
October 13, 2009 at 8:37 pmWhen we’re idling, doing nothing, my father says we’re “goopin.”
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
October 13, 2009 at 8:38 pmWhen there’s no other response, we say, “Boom Bam Bippy.”
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
October 13, 2009 at 8:41 pmMy entire famliy speaks a different language known as Loco.
MeL says
October 13, 2009 at 8:48 pm“Speaking of Rootbeer” is code for “Wow, that was Random.”
Nancy says
October 13, 2009 at 9:03 pm“You look like the wreck of the Hespress” = bedhead
heatherw says
October 13, 2009 at 9:07 pm“Cracking up” means “You have plumber’s bum – hike up pants”.
Cupcake Murphy says
October 13, 2009 at 9:09 pm“The things you see when you don’t have a gun”
Cupcake Murphy says
October 13, 2009 at 9:10 pm“Do they throw tinsel in bunches or strand by strand?”
Cupcake Murphy says
October 13, 2009 at 9:14 pm“The kitchen drawer.”: answer to any Where Is It? inquiry.
Cupcake Murphy says
October 13, 2009 at 9:17 pm“Do NOT engage” = don’t take mother’s crazy bait loony talk.
Tammy says
October 13, 2009 at 9:21 pm“I’m so hungry, I could eat the north end out of a south bound skunk!” More than ten words, but way worth mentioning!
alanaransley says
October 13, 2009 at 9:36 pm“You’re number one”–said instead of raising the middle finger
Meredith says
October 13, 2009 at 10:15 pmCalled godmother “Uncle” Patty as a tot and it stuck.
She hosted my bridal shower and introduced herself to my friends as my uncle. Hilarious.
MYinTX says
October 13, 2009 at 10:56 pm“Ishkabibble” is MIL’s exclamation when she hears/sees something disgusting.
Not June Cleaver says
October 13, 2009 at 10:57 pmWhen leaving, we say, “We’re off, like a dirty shirt!”
Julian says
October 13, 2009 at 11:08 pm“You big baby, I’ve had worse hurts in my eyeball!”
sugarpie says
October 14, 2009 at 12:24 am-Hey dad, where’d you get that?
-At the gettin’ place.
Beth says
October 14, 2009 at 12:27 amNOCD = “Not Our Class, Dear.” Said facetiously, kind of.
Becca says
October 14, 2009 at 12:40 amConshimfee = Out of control
You can look conshimfee, feel conshimfee or act conshimfee.
queenoqueens says
October 14, 2009 at 12:45 amWho’s playing the buh-tuba? ( as in but-tuba)
queenoqueens says
October 14, 2009 at 12:46 amBusier than a 1 legged man in a butt-kickin contest
queenoqueens says
October 14, 2009 at 12:47 amWhen looking for something……”well If it was up my ass, it’d be sticking out.”
queenoqueens says
October 14, 2009 at 12:48 amA non-sequitar would be followed by “Zucchini Bread!”
queenoqueens says
October 14, 2009 at 12:48 amWho stepped on a duck? = fart
queenoqueens says
October 14, 2009 at 12:50 amSana sana culito de rana, si no sana hoy, sana manana.
The literal translation of this spanish saying is”
Heal, heal little frog’s ass. If it doesn’t heal today, it will heal tomorrow. This was used to sooth a child’s boo-boo, but was cool because it rhymed in spanish.
kathy says
October 14, 2009 at 1:03 amPap-test=checking to see if your hat is on straight.
kathy says
October 14, 2009 at 1:05 amAnything stupid, hideous or annoying= Assy, MIL says so.(often)
Em says
October 14, 2009 at 3:57 am“Look, there’s a chicken” for going seriously off-topic or getting your attention diverted
“Close enough for government work” meaning it’s really half-done, but it will do
“Tiny-pee-pee” for anyone driving a car in a way to show their macho: squealing tires, speeding, etc.
“Take me off your rooster” for take me off the list or I don’t want to do it. Based on a very funny piece called Take Me Off Your Rooster.
Helen says
October 14, 2009 at 8:49 amIf things are bad = red alert. Really bad = purple alert.
km says
October 14, 2009 at 9:20 amTammy at 145
We have lots of “I’m so hungry”s
I’m so hungry I’d….
eat the cross of the back of a donkey
eat the bare arse of a dummy child through the rungs of a chair >>>what the hell is that one????
eat the hind leg of the lamb of God,
Sandy_Shoes says
October 14, 2009 at 9:49 amI’m so hungy I could eat the ass end of a hobby horse.
He’s lost as an easter egg = someone who’s confused
I’m going to see a man about a dog = going to poop
zidia says
October 14, 2009 at 9:54 am“Broadway&Federal”—that’s Camden;that’s my old buddy Walt!
How about” Defective” for any thing that goes wrong or doesn’t work correctly
safetydog says
October 14, 2009 at 10:09 amgot the epizoodic = has any illness that’s “going around”
off like a bat out of Joplin = leaving quickly (we were from Kansas City)
putting on foo-foo = started out as perfume, evolved to mean “freshening up”
“Are you going to the movies? ‘Cause you’re picking your seat.”
JustJuli says
October 14, 2009 at 10:16 amTo go “ass over tea kettle” = to take a tumble.
“Uglier than a bushel of assholes” = self-explanatory. Thanks, Nana
“Hungry Bum” = wedgie
“dropping the kids off at the pool” = going #2
“The turtle’s peeking his head out” = need to go #2
Outta here = “Off like a prom dress”
Outta here & feeling sassy = “Off like your mom’s prom dress” 🙂
JustJuli says
October 14, 2009 at 10:18 amAlso used for not-so-bright people:
“Sharp as a marble”
” a few sandwiches short of a picnic”
“a few eggs short of a dozen”
GreatAunt says
October 14, 2009 at 10:24 amSome gems from my dad:
“Ain’t got the brains God gave a goose.” (No so smart)
“It’s better than a sharp stick in the eye.” (Not good, but could be worse)
My siblings and I:
“I’m gonna sign you.” (flip you the bird)
LunarFrenzy says
October 14, 2009 at 10:28 amYour hair looks nice, I hope you win! = you’re an idiot
This pizza’s gotta roll! = Get in the car, we’re leaving
Come a toad strangler = massive amounts of rain
jane says
October 14, 2009 at 10:35 amParadigm shift without the clutch.
A conversation shift so abrupt that you are baffled.
debf says
October 14, 2009 at 12:36 pmWhen leaving…
We’re off in a cloud of heifer sh*t.
They’re off, said the monkey as he backed into the lawnmower.
laurellee says
October 14, 2009 at 1:28 pm“I see a pencil holder” when plumber’s crack is seen.
Heidi says
October 14, 2009 at 2:12 pmWestern dressing — steer on the front? That’s “The Cow Kind.”
janny226 says
October 14, 2009 at 2:33 pmVia mom via her SIL: “Oops, stepped on a duck.”
Reeb says
October 14, 2009 at 4:27 pmThese have just been priceless. Americana at its most descriptive.
helenel says
October 14, 2009 at 4:41 pmEnd of every trip: “Home again, home again, jiggidy jig.”
Manic Mommy says
October 14, 2009 at 6:07 pm“Rented meal” resulting in immediate and lengthy trip to loo.
runnergirl says
October 14, 2009 at 6:51 pmexpanding on “dropping the kids off at the pool” we say which kids we’re dropping off to indicate level of discomfort. Quantity is expressed in an entire ensemble cast of a sitcom, or sports team.
“I’m touching Cotton” indicates level of urgency.
The sound of your butt sliding along the bottom of the bathtub during a bath that can be heard the floor below by dad drinking a coffee is called “gorping”
“Popo” is a term utilized for “downtown” male or female. Used in a sentence often heard yelled round my neighborhood in the 70’s….”Girls!!! Time for bed!!!! Don’t forget to wash your hands, face, popo and feet!!!” Funny how we didn’t have to brush our teeth, but somehow feet made the cut, along with the popo.
Popo regained a surging popularity in the mid 90’s when my neighbor’s daughter began spawning children, and my uppity neighbor told us that instead of grandma and grandpa, she and her husband would be referred to as “Sasa and Popo”. My sister and I used to crack up when she kept calling her husband Popo. She would tell us all about all the things Popo would do, and how much her grandson just loved his Popo. Most little boys do, I would tell her. The double entendre was just lost on her.
Jamie says
October 14, 2009 at 10:42 pmi don’t give a flying rat’s ass = i don’t care
jp says
October 15, 2009 at 7:47 am“I’m F.E.I.N.” which obviously means you are really not fine!
(with apologies to the real Dr. Fein)
Sandy_Shoes says
October 15, 2009 at 9:46 am“not a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out” – means foolish spending. E.G “I can’t believe they bought a new car, when they don’t have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out.”
Betty says
October 15, 2009 at 10:33 amMust go make an important phone call = #2
Betty says
October 15, 2009 at 10:36 amChaka, Chaka = have sex
My mom is too modest to say the “s” word, so she says Chaka Chaka instead. As in, “after his surgery doctor says they can’t do Chaka Chaka for a few weeks.” It’s hilarious when she says it!
Barb says
October 15, 2009 at 11:26 am#180 runnergirl…..”I’m touching cotton”…literally put me over the edge, sooo funny.
Mandy says
October 15, 2009 at 6:30 pmWon’t be ten words…oh well.
My dad use to always say “she went to shit and the hogs ate her” when we would ask where my mom was. Nice huh? You have to know my father. Anyway, he said it ALL the time. When my sister and I were about 11 and 14 she asked him what a hogsater was? She always thought it was a place or a thing. When we really slowed down the sentence for her she just said “Ohhhhhhhhh.” Til this day when I ask my dad where something is he will say right next to Hogsater…as is “where is Cleveland?” “Right next to Hogsater”. Then we both die laughing. My sister doesn’t think it’s as funny as we do.
p/f says
October 16, 2009 at 10:02 amMom: Goodness, who boeuffed?
Dad: Did you hear that jet?
p/f says
October 16, 2009 at 10:07 amA good parking space?: “Do we live right or what?”
marissa says
October 16, 2009 at 10:34 pm“Rub some grass on it!”– means just deal with it.
Suze says
October 16, 2009 at 10:44 pmTo describe someone with a large rear end–She’s a two-tripper meaning if she were told to haul ass, it would take two trips!
Jessica says
October 21, 2009 at 6:37 pmLike a bolt of cold molasses – means we’re leaving, at our usual snail pace.
Use mackarel in a sentence – means “Are you unhappy but don’t want anyone to know” – employed on the phone when one sibling is dealing with one of our ornery parents and the other sibling is calling from the comfort of their home.
habanerogal says
October 25, 2009 at 9:25 amShe’s a sharp as a sock full of soup (With apologies to Corner Gas tv series)
“Spectacles testicles wallet and watch” my dad’s joke about how the Catholics sign themselves and also it is to check that you have all your essentials when going out