Bossy already posted this very photo today, right over there in the left column in her Poverty Party feature and sister mercy here’s a spoiler alert: It’s about lipstick.
While Bossy was taking this photo of her own hand, two things kept occurring to her. The first thing is how strange hands look when photographed.
The other thing that occurred to Bossy is a story Bossy’s mom tells, about a childhood friend Bossy’s mom had — a friend whose mother was an alcoholic. And whenever Bossy’s mom and this friend would go to the friend’s house after school, her drunk mother would be sprawled out on the sofa in a dark room, arms outstretched to the ceiling, her hands rotating on their wrists, and half-crying the mother would repeat, “I could have been a hand model.”
I could have been a hand model. This is almost funny if it weren’t for the alcoholic part, and the dark room part, and how creeped-out Bossy’s mom was standing there. Shiver.
The moms of Bossy’s childhood friends weren’t nearly as interesting. One mom talked like a baby despite a high-profile career. One mom would shout for her daughter to wash her face with distilled water. And one mom never wiped down any of the surfaces in her house despite the fact she had five young kids, so Bossy couldn’t even place a glass of Tang down on a TV tray without it getting stuck in a pile of yesterday’s grape jelly, and you would never believe the degree to which this made young Bossy vow to never have kids but always have sponges.
Bossy can sum up her friends’ moms in this way: They were vaguely neglectful. Then again it was the 1800s.
Which is what today’s Ten-Word Challenge is all about. In exactly ten words, can you share a few stories about your childhood friends’ parents?
And be sure to check back later today for the parentest of all the friends’ stories on the web.
If you missed last week’s challenge, click here to read how Bossy’s council would place their breakfast order if Bossy were a short-order cook. Sure, it may sound like a stretch of an idea, but trust Bossy: you’ll want to read 130 of the most delicious sounding breakfasts imaginable.
The Great Getzby says
November 10, 2009 at 10:54 amGrace before dinnertime for this atheist; made me breakfast daily….
Brava97 says
November 10, 2009 at 10:55 amBest friend’s mom former teen beauty queen, became morbidly obese.
Alison says
November 10, 2009 at 10:56 amAbsorbed in other interests; occasionally present for discipline or dinner.
Meg at the Members Lounge says
November 10, 2009 at 11:01 amCrazy neighbor rifled though cabinets for crazy siblings ADD drugs.
Gail K. says
November 10, 2009 at 11:03 am80’s version of June Cleaver. Still adore her!
BOSSY says
November 10, 2009 at 11:09 amOne mom taught Bossy and friend to debone chicken. Girls.
BOSSY says
November 10, 2009 at 11:12 amBossy had huge crush on friend’s dad. Full of hell.
Mindy says
November 10, 2009 at 11:13 amHow many stepfathers does one really need? I’m still bitter.
BOSSY says
November 10, 2009 at 11:15 amOne drove enormous sedan. Her eyes pulsed looking over shoulder.
Mindy says
November 10, 2009 at 11:17 amOops, that was about me. Friends parents were patient, good.
BOSSY says
November 10, 2009 at 11:17 amCome to think: most of friends’ moms were divorced. Hmm.
Stuffanie says
November 10, 2009 at 11:17 amPierced my ears one snow day numbing them with vodka.
Betsey says
November 10, 2009 at 11:22 amCalled Kool-Aid ‘juice’ and traumatized me for life – otherwise unmemorable.
SnowWhite says
November 10, 2009 at 11:24 amWig heads lined up in bathroom & first boob job ever!
Linda says
November 10, 2009 at 11:24 amShe watched soaps all afternoon while eating big ice cubes.
BOSSY says
November 10, 2009 at 11:28 amNo dads figured prominently. Except one. Bossy’s dad makes 2.
heidig says
November 10, 2009 at 11:28 amfriend’s mom constantly chewed on her tongue making weird sounds – i can still hear it now.
Brava97 says
November 10, 2009 at 11:32 amHoly roller had affair. Parents reconciled but ex-communicated from church.
Birdbrain says
November 10, 2009 at 11:33 amPlayed bridge, beautifully coiffed, let us pass hors d’oeuvres at her cocktail parties.
Lisa says
November 10, 2009 at 11:34 amAFFLICTED with a clean house, many cigarettes and biggest texas hair eva! Love ya GAYLE!!
GreatAunt says
November 10, 2009 at 11:49 amWonderfully fun, let us have biscuit dough fights, ‘n stuff.
Miss Spoken says
November 10, 2009 at 11:53 amHippie chick who sold weed. Slept with her daughter’s friends.
Kimberley says
November 10, 2009 at 11:53 amShe told me not to touch the stuffed water buffalo
Gretchen says
November 10, 2009 at 11:55 amScreaming “Hands off the woodwork, I just washed the walls”
anne marie in philly says
November 10, 2009 at 11:55 ammom was a slob, dad was a boy scout leader.
Teri says
November 10, 2009 at 12:08 pmFriend’s drug was a druggie. Didn’t realize till was older.
Marjorie from Connecticut says
November 10, 2009 at 12:11 pmEight. Friend’s father. Stash of Playboys. Body image ruined forever.
Lisa! says
November 10, 2009 at 12:15 pmFriend’s mom sat and flicked rabbit poo off her bed.
Jamie says
November 10, 2009 at 12:16 pmVERY modern house. Young Jamie squeaks, “where are the antiques?!”
Pam in Missouri says
November 10, 2009 at 12:30 pmMom was a hoarder, Dad took nudie pix. Wierd basement.
Pam in Missouri says
November 10, 2009 at 12:31 pmAnother friend:
Dad never closed bathroom door nor zipped pants. EWWW ick.
Kristi of Million Dream Mom says
November 10, 2009 at 12:33 pmRan over Pumpkin the dog with station wagon. Pumpkin survived.
Kristi of Million Dream Mom says
November 10, 2009 at 12:34 pmBitch hid behind curtains and watched us. Egged her house!
Kris says
November 10, 2009 at 12:41 pmMom went nuts and tried to kill son with knife.
Kris says
November 10, 2009 at 12:41 pmMother was then committed to institution and never came back.
Kris says
November 10, 2009 at 12:42 pmOther friend. Mom let us make fondue and smoke cigarettes.
Kris says
November 10, 2009 at 12:44 pmAnother friend. Beautiful mom. Sold Avon. Let us have makeovers.
Lisa says
November 10, 2009 at 12:45 pmVirginia’s Dad was VERY funny….we’d giggle over Lice Glispies!
Ris says
November 10, 2009 at 12:47 pmWashed the walls with bleach. Daily.
Helen says
November 10, 2009 at 12:47 pmBrought us toast in bed. No such luxury at home.
Helen says
November 10, 2009 at 12:50 pmDon’t remember much. Us kids ran free in those days.
Little Miss Sunshine State says
November 10, 2009 at 12:56 pmLet us tap dance on tile floor in TV room.
Stacey Ball says
November 10, 2009 at 12:57 pmUnder cover narcotics officer, 5′ tall female, always obey Betty.
Christina says
November 10, 2009 at 1:14 pmFriend’s mother was a professional dancer, taught us Jazzercise and gave us pimple advice.
Christina says
November 10, 2009 at 1:15 pmOoops, that wasn’t 10 words. Betty would be displeased.
p/f says
November 10, 2009 at 1:19 pmNeighbor: didn’t like you telling friend that she needs makeup.
alanaransley says
November 10, 2009 at 1:25 pmDriving carpool, smoking, with the windows closed. I couldn’t breathe!
p/f says
November 10, 2009 at 1:26 pmOne mom believed in me when no one had before.
Kate says
November 10, 2009 at 1:26 pmFrosted lipstick, frosted hair, frosted martini glasses, clacking gum. (Child of the 60’s!)
monnik says
November 10, 2009 at 1:26 pmOnly had daughters. Taught me the art of girly stuff.
Dharmamama says
November 10, 2009 at 1:29 pmPulling hands: “Got my boobs done! Give ’em a feel!”
Sally says
November 10, 2009 at 1:35 pmFriend told me man in bedroom with mom was “uncle”.
GrandeMocha says
November 10, 2009 at 1:38 pmPaid the VISA with the MasterCard. Ruined friend’s credit too.
GrandeMocha says
November 10, 2009 at 1:40 pmStole from church. Fled to Canada.
rebekah says
November 10, 2009 at 1:44 pmDiabetic mom. Ceiling-high laundry pile. Funny – I finally get it.
cartoongoddess says
November 10, 2009 at 1:48 pmShe picked us up in a smoke-filled Ford Pinto.
Star says
November 10, 2009 at 1:49 pmParents “taking nap” every Sunday, they now own nudist colony!!
Christy says
November 10, 2009 at 1:52 pmStomped ingrown toenail playing basketball; told me to stop bleeding.
Liz says
November 10, 2009 at 1:52 pmMostly bitchier than my own mother. Thankful mine was mine.
Total Space Cadet says
November 10, 2009 at 1:52 pmYounger and cooler than mine, in band, had junk food.
Summertime says
November 10, 2009 at 1:54 pm“supervised pot smoking” = fun but I still recognized notsogood parenting.
Jen says
November 10, 2009 at 2:06 pmwouldn’t let kids use icecubes, would be any for later
Sallie says
November 10, 2009 at 2:18 pmNeighborhood kids ran in pack. Parents not large presence. (1940s-50s)
Lori says
November 10, 2009 at 2:19 pmcool, taught me about antiques, art, theater and great books
Julie says
November 10, 2009 at 2:38 pmAlways wore skirts, played piano by ear, antiques, collectibles, homey.
rockle says
November 10, 2009 at 2:45 pmEverybody’s parents were cooler than mine except the creepy ones.
Carroll says
November 10, 2009 at 2:47 pmUnder-bed stash of Romance novels and racy magazines. Wooooo!
dgm says
November 10, 2009 at 2:57 pmFrench-Canadian with southern accent, threw out great one-liners.
krazy kris says
November 10, 2009 at 2:58 pmLet us watch Olivia Newton-John concert “Physical” on HBO!!!
Red Hamster says
November 10, 2009 at 2:58 pmShe wore red lipstick and heels. Beautiful. Husband had affairs. ?
jp says
November 10, 2009 at 2:59 pmCaught me naked with her son, loved me anyway!
jill says
November 10, 2009 at 3:14 pmforbidding and distant, they kept no junk food around. tragic.
BossysMom says
November 10, 2009 at 3:18 pm‘Ol Ray…..rundown shack, rundown horses, booze and outhouse. Coyotes.
joie says
November 10, 2009 at 3:43 pmWore tons of lipliner, fake eyelashes, spoke like a baby.
linlah says
November 10, 2009 at 4:24 pmShe ironed clothes in her bra but never burned herself
Sara says
November 10, 2009 at 4:25 pmMom worked at the local adult book/novelty store. Let’s just say there were some interesting things to make squirt guns from.
dobes says
November 10, 2009 at 4:25 pmImagined there was a fire. Broke window, made us jump.
KarinGal says
November 10, 2009 at 4:43 pm1979: Came into kitchen topless, towel around waist. Kissed hubby.
dobes says
November 10, 2009 at 4:46 pmAsked us to play quietly while she had sex. European.
Rorrington the Fireman says
November 10, 2009 at 4:48 pmMaiden aunt OWNED the house his family lived in, with her. No one in that family ever (EVER!) spoke to her. She LIVED with them. Beyond weird.
Rorrington the Fireman says
November 10, 2009 at 4:49 pm(Yeah, sorry I broke the 10-word rule, but COME ON…..)
Amber Lee says
November 10, 2009 at 4:59 pmonly person I know who got fat when doing crack
tree says
November 10, 2009 at 5:14 pmAfter her stroke, she called me to buy her beer.
Tracy says
November 10, 2009 at 5:29 pmThey drank, smoked and were very relaxed….nice!
Have the T-shirt says
November 10, 2009 at 5:40 pmMuch nicer than my own. No Shouting and negative diatribes.
Bobbie says
November 10, 2009 at 5:44 pmMother lived upstairs; father lived down. Too Catholic to divorce.
Bobbie says
November 10, 2009 at 5:44 pmAlso, piece of toast on floor for days on end.
Catherine McP says
November 10, 2009 at 5:51 pmWhole neighborhood, same Catholic parish, ALL the parents drank, Parties!
Reeb says
November 10, 2009 at 6:03 pmJanet called hers “Jimmy” and “Ruby”. Never Mom and Dad.
Reeb says
November 10, 2009 at 6:05 pmWhy can’t I remember any other friends’ parents? Oblivious me.
Laura says
November 10, 2009 at 6:07 pmThey always said yes when my mom said no!
Reeb says
November 10, 2009 at 6:07 pmNow can’t even remember childhood friends. Surely I had some.
ally tart check says
November 10, 2009 at 6:15 pmwow, they were old. like late 30s. my age now…
Cactus Petunia says
November 10, 2009 at 6:27 pmLeft teenage girls at home and vacationed in the Catskills.
Sue says
November 10, 2009 at 6:50 pmPsycho cop father shot the car when it wouldn’t start
thatgirlblogs says
November 10, 2009 at 6:52 pmbest friend’s dad spoiled her on christmas, then left again.
Sissy in Texas says
November 10, 2009 at 6:55 pmServed Deviled Ham everyday for lunch. What is that stuff?
kathleen says
November 10, 2009 at 7:04 pmsaid she was sick but she was drunk every day.
kathleen says
November 10, 2009 at 7:14 pmfriend’s dad commando in shorts.put mouse back in house!
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
November 10, 2009 at 7:42 pmShe watched soaps; we ran amok. Wait, that’s my mother.
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
November 10, 2009 at 7:44 pmShe worked; Friend drove me down road on a tractor.
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
November 10, 2009 at 7:45 pmShe owned a country store and we stole Peppermint Patties.
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
November 10, 2009 at 7:46 pmI didn’t even like Peppermint Patties; getaway vehicle equals tractor.
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
November 10, 2009 at 7:47 pmAnd when I say “stole” I really mean “helped myself.”
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
November 10, 2009 at 7:48 pmAnd I say “helped myself” because we were half starved.
Manic Mommy says
November 10, 2009 at 7:48 pmI get 20 words:
Told us about shoplifter so we wouldn’t consider ‘sticky fingers.’
Three divorced women in neighborhood. Dad visited two often. Nice.
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
November 10, 2009 at 7:50 pmWhen you’re half starved, stolen Peppermint Patties are the bomb.
Tami W says
November 10, 2009 at 8:32 pmNeighbors mom fed me lamb. Eating Bambi made me cry.
Sharon says
November 10, 2009 at 9:34 pmFriend’s Mom was the nicest person I have ever known. (I never heard her say a bad thing about anyone.)
Cupcake Murphy says
November 10, 2009 at 9:49 pmOther parents? Atticus Finch-ish compared to my boozehound pill poppers.
Shana says
November 10, 2009 at 10:23 pmBeautiful Catholic neighborhood. Everyone kept having more and more kids.
Carrie says
November 10, 2009 at 10:26 pmSat on heater vent in underwear, sliced leg open once.
DemMom says
November 10, 2009 at 10:27 pmDropped kids at school on holiday, family bed, noone wore shoes.
Jeri says
November 10, 2009 at 10:32 pmThese words were uttered by my best friend’s mom when I was a little girl: (and here begin the 10 words….)
“Ooooooooo, I love to squeeze your arms!” She really did.
Beth says
November 10, 2009 at 10:51 pmStacey’s glamorous single realtor mom let her be latchkey kid!
Galiene says
November 10, 2009 at 11:00 pmSang ” Hello Dolly” LOUD doing her best Carol Channing impression.
Happily Employed Susan says
November 10, 2009 at 11:23 pmKaren’s dad was always on the couch in his underwear.
Leah Rubin says
November 11, 2009 at 12:34 amOne mom told me I had the gift of gab.
neg says
November 11, 2009 at 12:49 amNanny slapped us with a yardstick. Where was my mother?
Bonnie says
November 11, 2009 at 1:07 amAnne’s mom let us have ice cream for dinner – yum!
Bonnie says
November 11, 2009 at 1:07 amLisa’s mom kept her gallstones in a jar at home!
sugarpie says
November 11, 2009 at 1:10 amWho’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? every day. Counted my blessings.
Bonnie says
November 11, 2009 at 1:11 amMargie’s dad’s Cadillac horn played “The Eyes of Texas”!
Jenn @ Juggling LIfe says
November 11, 2009 at 1:23 amAddicted to TAB, left dinner dishes on the table overnight.
Dawn in Austin says
November 11, 2009 at 2:03 amShaklee and Amway selling alchoholic. Wanna be romantic novelist. Baptist.
BabyFavorite says
November 11, 2009 at 3:14 amOverly involved, rarely cooked/cleaned; still thought she was great.
Lizzy says
November 11, 2009 at 7:56 amThe Pope talked to her daily. Need I say crazy?
Diane G says
November 11, 2009 at 9:18 amFriend’s grandpa announced @Easter dinner-“You eat like a farmgirl!”
JP in IL says
November 11, 2009 at 11:39 am“We thought they were all our relation until high school”
Serena says
November 11, 2009 at 10:24 pmPops up out of nowhere to administer random pop-quizzes.
TanyaK says
November 13, 2009 at 11:10 amAlcoholics, cleaned with vinegar, nasty beer/smoke/vinegar smell always.
Laura says
November 19, 2009 at 11:05 pmMom never home, perfect hideout, til discovered and in trouble.