Imagine for a second this is an endcap sign in Bossy’s nearest chain drugstore because it is — and so imagine having to stand there under the neon green sign and identify yourself as someone who needs these products, which come to think of it is a slight step up from Incontinence! or Erectile Dysfunction! and sister mercy no wonder people are all about drugstore.com.
And who would like to know where Bossy is going with this? Bossy put your hand down. The expression Look who’s suckin’ the hind tit is used frequently around the Bossy house to refer to any situation where one gets a raw deal.
This is the diagnostic ultrasound machine which delivered the news that the greater saphenous vein recently ablated in Bossy’s leg caused the formation of an organized thrombosis resulting in an enormous subdermal hematoma, which is to say Help! Bossy has a rock under her skin which the vascular surgeon recently tried to manually squeeze out of a small tender incision, much like one births a baby, except in this case the baby was the size of a sophomore at Columbia University. Ouch.
And so to handle this thrombosis problem in a more proper way, along with issues Bossy is having in her other leg which her recent ablation procedure couldn’t solve, Bossy is scheduled to return to the O.R. this coming Monday. This makes Bossy all kinds of excited considering her other bruising hasn’t even had the chance to resolve.
Stay tuned for Part 2 of Varicose Barbie, coming to a flog blog near you.
MariaV says
February 19, 2010 at 12:57 pmOh, Bossy! I’m sorry. Hang in there.
Audubon Ron says
February 19, 2010 at 12:58 pmWe are very familiar with the expression “Sucking Hind Tit” at the Ducks Mahal house. First introduced in the duckling childhood home of Ron by Ron’s mom (Hey, that rhymes, Ron’s mom) and used fairly often thereafter by Ron’s mom throughout Ron’s childhood in efforts to punctuation Ron’s overall luck and misfortune growing up. But you know the way I see it, if it weren’t hind tit, I’d have no tit at all.
As for the leg, (OY+10)3*5.
Mel says
February 19, 2010 at 1:19 pmFrakk! I can’t say we ever used that expression in my family, but I certainly know it from somewhere. I think David would get cross with me if I started using it, though. Either way, hope you get it all sorted soon.
FL Liz says
February 19, 2010 at 1:22 pmThe only thing more unsettling than lice and warts is to have them pointed out in lime green. *urp*.
Sorry to hear about your medical woes. It’s truly a drag when problems seem to bundle up like that at times. Hope your surgery goes well and you’re back up and running on those legs soon.
Marnie says
February 19, 2010 at 1:24 pmAll I can say is: OW!
Hope all is better after Monday.
BossysMom says
February 19, 2010 at 1:25 pmWhy is it that any expression with the word “suck” in it is probably the most offensive of all words for BossysMom.
It’s even much worse for me that the rhyming word F—
Purely generational. When someone says something “S—s, I just curdle up…So cynical, so negative.
Lisa says
February 19, 2010 at 1:28 pmOMG Bossy! Isn’t that a blood clot? Thank God I had finished my breakfast!!! I hope you feel better real soon! Cuz I don’t like cussing.
Leslie B says
February 19, 2010 at 1:43 pmWishing you “back on your dancin’ feet” soon! Hang in there….we are all thinking of you!
Lisa says
February 19, 2010 at 1:49 pmawww, Im so so sorry that your so so, acky feeling. If it makes you feel any better, we were always suckin the hind tit at our house growing up, too.
take care of yourself, girlfriend!!
David says
February 19, 2010 at 1:51 pmUgh. Sorry your medical life sucks. Hope things clear up soon. Keep us updated. But not visually updated. Thanks for that.
steph says
February 19, 2010 at 1:51 pmAw, crap. That does suck.
APeetsMom says
February 19, 2010 at 2:01 pmThe sign made me guffaw! But then AWWWW! poor Bossy! You hang in there…nice of you to continue to entertain us during your procedures! We’ll make it up to you when you No Book Tour it!
lora says
February 19, 2010 at 2:38 pmours has a “warts and lice” too. And a “tampon intimacy”
Ms. Cranky Pants says
February 19, 2010 at 2:47 pmThat bites. Speedy and gentle recovery, Bossy!
Amy in NJ says
February 19, 2010 at 2:49 pmOh, Bossy! Hope you’re up dancing again soon!
Meredith says
February 19, 2010 at 3:16 pmSorry, Bossy! That really does suck the hind tit.
As for that ridiculous sign, when we see ones like that in our local drugstore, I say things like “Oh, look, CVS started selling warts and lice!” because it totally doesn’t fit in with the other signs. At all!
km says
February 19, 2010 at 3:35 pmwarts, lice, crabs, the plague- Aisle 4, thank you!
Move along,
Poor old Bossy. Veins and thrombosis and all these old fart words . These are not Bossy afflictions, they are too geriatric for her.
Suzanne says
February 19, 2010 at 3:41 pmOuch! So sorry that you’re having such a time. I hope that you repair quickly and are out pounding the mean streets of NYC for highlights and something tasty from the corner bistro.. something in the form of alcohol I’m thinking!
La Suzette says
February 19, 2010 at 4:06 pmBummer! So sorry to hear this Bossy, please get better, we don’t want anything to mess up the fabulous no book tour road trip!
linlah says
February 19, 2010 at 4:16 pmI thought that the diagnostic ultrasound machine was a keyboard so I’m still trying to figure out where the ENTER button is.
Mr Farty says
February 19, 2010 at 4:29 pmOw! Poor BOSSY. Get well soon.
Note to me: Stock up on warts and lice.
RuthWells says
February 19, 2010 at 4:30 pmOh, that just bites. I’m so sorry. (Resolve to stop complaining about my petty complaints….)
GrandeMocha says
February 19, 2010 at 4:49 pmMay the force be with you!
Lovelyn says
February 19, 2010 at 5:31 pmThat is a raw deal! Sorry you’re having such a hard time.
foolery says
February 19, 2010 at 5:47 pmBut do you think this ruins your chances in the Super-G? 😉
Take care of yourself, Miss BOSSY, and let others take care of you too. Have a peaceful weekend.
Alice says
February 19, 2010 at 6:02 pmSorry Bossy. Dangitttt….I guess that means no more ice skating for a while.
km says
February 19, 2010 at 6:24 pmI knew there had to be a reason that Bossy was not skating in the Olympics !!
Cactus Petunia says
February 19, 2010 at 6:42 pmGood gravy! Bossy better get those legs in shape quick for the (no)book tour…and I was just wondering: is an organized thrombosis better than a disorganized one?
Sending healing thoughts your way!
corrie says
February 19, 2010 at 6:51 pmI really have no idea what any of those words meant, except for bad news for Bossy ! So sorry for Bossy! Glad a case of head lice or worse lice is not part of your health issues!
joeinvegas says
February 19, 2010 at 7:21 pmOh, so sorry Bossy, that you ended up with an incompetent doctor that couldn’t fix you properly. (and thanks for not posting the photos)
Shannon says
February 19, 2010 at 8:38 pmWow, Bossy! Sorry to hear it and hope you’re feeling better soon…
Shannon says
February 19, 2010 at 8:40 pmHa, ha, ha, ha about the commenter thinking it was a keyboard – I did, too! And I thought it was the keyboard of a clean freak! I was thinking, Huh, somebody’s pretty anal…
Mrs. G. says
February 19, 2010 at 8:55 pmFeel better, darling!
almudena says
February 19, 2010 at 9:59 pmbossy – i am so sorry you have to go through that torture. at least you don’t have a t-t on your behind. that would not only be awkward when sitting or wearing a swimsuit, but also very painful to remove.
mia says
February 19, 2010 at 10:13 pmsurgery sucks. make them give ya the GOOD drugs. Don’t take no for an answer 🙂
Kari says
February 19, 2010 at 10:56 pmAt least you don’t ALSO have warts with lice (or lice that have warts?). You would probably have a hard time standing so long under that green sign anyway, what with all the gigantic boulders in your veins and such!
AmberStar says
February 20, 2010 at 12:48 amBossy,
How ’bout you get a load of that cheese the skiier that hurt her leg used to get it to heal enough to get the gold medal for skiing. Here is the link
http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/02/12/cheese.cure.vonn/index.html
Good luck with everything.
AmberStar says
February 20, 2010 at 12:50 amor maybe a load of leeches…might work.
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
February 20, 2010 at 1:09 amThe fact that Bossy can prepare a post so overflowing with funny tells me:
– shituations such as these do not diminish Bossy’s genius and
– Bossy lives in a town where warts and lice have their own check out aisle and
-I thought those places were called Wal-Mutant and
— shituations such as these make us stronger however
-shituations are still shituations and the sooner they’re over the sooner they can be tossed in a bucket labeled a distant memory, where they swim begrudgingly with the likes of warts, cholera, troublesome thrombosisablations, bad boyfriends, vacuum cleaners that don’t work properly and kitchens that are accidentally set ablaze.
This too shall pass, but stay positive, Bossy. Get well soon.
The Know it All says
February 20, 2010 at 1:26 amOh Bossy..I’m sorry you’re thromobosising….I hope you’re better soon…I’ll be thinking of you on Monday and sending good vibes….Especially because I had lice in 3rd grade…EW!
Lynn in Tucson says
February 20, 2010 at 2:02 amI am so sorry to hear that you’re having to go through so much crap. The larger issues, I got nothin’, but vitamin E may help with the bruising.
APeetsMom says
February 20, 2010 at 2:08 am@Bossy’s Mom – This is so true! My mom HATES the s. word and I spent a lifetime trying NOT to say it…managed beautifully until I was in labor with my first baby…she came in to the room and I looked at her and blurted it out: “THIS S.;s!” I have felt terrible ever since!!!
Bush Babe (of Granite Glen) says
February 20, 2010 at 2:54 amThat chemist shop (that’s what we call ’em) is WILD. Subtle too. How much do lice and warts cost, I am wondering? And who buys them? Naughty boys looking to inflict them on others… the possibilities are endless.
Really feeling for Bossy and her Barbie legs… sending positive vibes and healing hugs across the waves.
Axel sends you a lick-and-lean.
🙂
BB
Jim says
February 20, 2010 at 10:14 amOh Bossy !! You are really going through the mill!! Hope, as you do that, this is the last. Maybe later next week the dancing will start again!!!
Meg at the Members Lounge says
February 20, 2010 at 11:43 amOh Bossy! Many thanks for not posting the hematoma; I had to brace myself for what I thought was coming. Wishing you a speedy recovery and onward to the No Book Tour!
@ BOSSY’s Mom: Ditto with my Mom. She hates when my sister and I let those words pass our lips. Which they do. Frequently.
dgm says
February 20, 2010 at 11:44 amYour homies will be pulling for you. Sorry you’re going through all this. I hope you push your way to a better tit soon.
Well Read Hostess says
February 20, 2010 at 3:02 pmBOSSY needs a) better tits. Wait. That’s not what I meant. They’re fine. Better than fine. As we all discussed one drunken evening in South Philly. But that’s a story for another (drunken) day (night in South Philly).
b) treats. What do you want, friend? This sounds heinous. Shout, and the virtual and literal communities will come a running.
Mocha Dad says
February 20, 2010 at 3:36 pmIt would be cool if they sold condoms, tampons, and Preparation H on that aisle too.
Ellen says
February 20, 2010 at 8:16 pmOh, Bossy! I’m so sorry to hear that you’re having to deal with this. Hope you are feeling (much)after the surgery.
p.j. says
February 20, 2010 at 10:02 pmBossy,
Oy. vey. I am so sorry you are having all sorts of problems with the veins in your legs. My brother developed a subdural hematoma after brain surgery a couple of years ago. He became crabbier, I think. BUT that will not happen to you.
You’ll be in my thoughts and prayers for a speedy and full recovery – – after successful surgery. (And may your surgeon have an excellent night’s sleep tomorrow night!)
Take care, p.j.
Kelly says
February 21, 2010 at 4:44 amJesus, Bossy. Knock this crap off. (I will be thinking of you & the whole Bossy clan on Monday. Hang in there & feel better.)
Jim says
February 21, 2010 at 10:07 amI hope all your followers can ask GOD for your successful surgery. I Believe!!
Jane says
February 21, 2010 at 11:08 amYour leg sounds like pure misery, and I hope you’re soon healed. Gazillions of people are sending kind wishes your way.
Martie says
February 21, 2010 at 1:32 pmOuchie wa-wa. Sounds scary. Reminds me of when, after my 4th childs birth I had a hu-mongo ‘roid (sorry) and when I called my Mom to sob–she reminded me that she had to have SURGERY to remove a ‘roid. I had nightmares thinking of the ouchie wa-wa associated with *that* one. Hope your ouchie wa-wa’s are well soon (PS I did NOT have to have surgery. Praise jeebus).
meleah rebeccah says
February 21, 2010 at 2:23 pmMeleah hopes Bossy’s surgery goes well on Monday. And Meleah feels REALLY badly that Bossy has to go through this at all.
Jenn @ Juggling LIfe says
February 21, 2010 at 3:00 pmJenn’s sending good juju Bossy’s way for a successful surgery and quick recovery.
LisaJane says
February 21, 2010 at 6:50 pmHey Bossy!
I can’t get on Flickr to see your bruise and that sucks big time because I really wanted to see Bossy’s big ol’bruise! But seriously, I hope all goes well tomorrow…sending good thoughts.
LJ
Kim says
February 21, 2010 at 10:29 pmHeres to a speedy recovery!
AmberStar says
February 21, 2010 at 10:57 pmBossy,
Starting to get a little anxious here not having heard anything new from you since this went up. Fretting about you like a mother.
Junebug says
February 22, 2010 at 12:56 amSo sorry Bossie/Barbie. I hope and pray for your complete recovery from this. There were a lot of funny words in the comments. Heinous is one of them. 😀
Junebug says
February 22, 2010 at 12:58 amand wouldn’t you know it, if you purchased a product that you didn’t want advertised all over the store when you got to check out they would need a price check on aisle wart/lice or condoms/lubricant?
Gail K. says
February 22, 2010 at 10:00 amBossy sending all sorts of get well vibes! Perhaps while you are taking a nap, Bossy’s family can find another starlet for “Varicose Vein Barbie 2” because, let’s face it, having MaryKateAshleyOlsen play BOSSY is just all sorts of wrong!
Mwah!
Reeb says
February 22, 2010 at 6:18 pm1. BossysMom, I feel guilty pleasure when I say you-know-what. Of course, the word “stupid” wasn’t allowed in the vocabulary of my childhood. Although my sister certainly was that.
2. Bossy, I’m the sort of person who was disappointed that there was no bruise photo.
3. Maybe you can paint it onto Barbie/MaryAshley, so we can see it that way.
4. May your legs stop giving you trouble. And stay that way.
Meg says
February 22, 2010 at 9:58 pmThank you for the new expression which I plan to introduce into heavy rotation starting…. NOW.
Hey, at least it’s not bathing suit season! You can cover up those bruises with jeans and leggings ’till the snow melts, which according to my calculations will be approximately NEXT YEAR, so the bruising should be all gone by then.
Squaregirl says
February 26, 2010 at 12:13 pmThat should say…
WARTS! AND LICE!
…to make it a little more, ahem …exciting.
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February 10, 2015 at 9:51 amDallas city officials asked the Texas Department of Transportation not to make LBJ any higher or wider than it already was. the glum chairman of the Ways and Means Committee “But for as disappointed as I am I cannot in good conscience let the Democrats’ refusal to engage lead to a default”Boehner R-Ohio made the announcement after conservatives failed to rally around his latest plan floated Monday to tie lifting the debt ceiling to a measure to reverse cuts to military pensions that were enacted less than two months ago Earlier plans to tie a debt cap increase to approval of the Keystone XL pipeline or repeal of part of the new health care law failed as well stymied by a group of hard line conservatives who vowed never to vote for increasing the government’s debt which stands at more than $17 trillionThe measure does not raise the debt limit by a set amount but would suspend it through March 15 2015 to allow Treasury to borrow the money it needs to pay bills like Social Security benefits payments on government debt and checks for federal workersThe move reflects a return to the old ways of handling the politically tricky debt ceiling vote in which the president’s party is expected to carry most of the load to pass it”We’ll let the Democrats put the votes up” the speaker said “We’ll put a minimum number of (GOP) votes up to get it passed””That’s how it’s supposed to work” said Vice President Joe Biden at the Capitol after swearing in the newest senator John Walsh D-MontBoehner said his inability to assemble 218 GOP votes ? enough to win a floor vote ? for any debt limit plan left him no alternative but to turn to Democrats”When you don’t have 218 votes you have nothing” Boehner said “We’ve seen that before and we see it again”The White House applauded the move Gene Sperling director of the White House’s National Economic Council said the administration hopes Tuesday’s development means “that the tactic of threatening default or threatening the full faith and credit of the United States for budget debates is over off the table and never is going to happen again And if so that would I think be a boost for confidence and investment in the US”Obama’s refusal to negotiate GOP disunity and Boehner’s determination to avoid the possibility of a market-cratering default on US obligations gave the Ohio Republican little choice but to announce the vote on a “clean” debt ceiling increase”It’s disappointing but we have an intractable White House” said Rep Doug LaMalfa R-Calif “This is a hard deal for us but it’s also important that we keep the country operating and the financial markets stable so this is the thing we have to take until somehow there’s a change in attitude in the Senate or the White House or a change of occupancy of the Senate or the White House”The announcement amounted to resigned defeat for a party that has sought to use must-pass debt ceiling measures as leverage to force spending cuts on Democrats Republicans won more than $2 trillion in spending cuts in a 2011 showdown but gave Obama two debt limit increases last year with only modest add-ons”The Democrats got burned when we negotiated and that led to the sequester and we learned our lesson” said Rep Peter Welch D-Vt “And the Republicans got burned when they shut the government down”The House voted 326-90 Tuesday on separate legislation to restore full cost-of-living increases that were to have been cut by 1 percent for retirees under 62 The cuts which had just passed in December were backed by House Budget Committee Chairman Paul Ryan R-Wis Repealing them would cost $7 billion over the coming decade the Congressional Budget Office said MondayThe reduction caused an uproar among advocates for veterans and lawmakers in both parties are scrambling to repeal itFrankie is a good-looking, But court records reveal that Bowser, “helping” my mother plant red verbenas along the front of a border. A lot of folks go in and don’t get an offer.Hallmarkincluding chain saws, employees and clients, the debate over climate change has never been about the science but rather one’s own personal values. U. and the best way to ensure that is through family members.
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