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i am bossy

A Sneak Peek Behind The Nervous Breakdown

cousins-iambossy

Here’s how it’s going to work: In less than 24 hours, Bossy will embark on her 12,000-mile, 6-week cross country (No) Book Tour, which Bossy will document in these pages that aren’t pages, every day.

In exchange for a front seat perspective of all of Bossy’s road trip experiences, Bossy asks that her council please bear with Bossy through a daily jump to another page, such as See how you did that and lived to tell?

Speaking of this daily jump to another page, Bossy wants to remind you about a little trick she employs to make the read more concept tolerable, and that trick is: pushing the read more link first, before actually reading anything — in which case it’s not really a read more link at all but rather a read link and please someone stop Bossy from typing.

Bossy needs to post her road trip stories on a different page because It is so complicated be very happy Bossy isn’t going to attempt to explain.

Anyway. Bossy has been very busy preparing for her departure, where very busy equals It’s amazing one can sustain a hip injury from too much lying on the sofa.

That’s why Bossy was so pleased she had the chance to empty her head of all road trip concerns yesterday during an Easter picnic in unseasonably warm weather.

picnic-setup-iambossy

Bossy’s extended family and a few neighborhood friends met at the local college campus and arranged a cacophony of chairs and picnic blankets under a weeping cherry tree BOSSY NEEDS TO DECIDE WHICH OF THE TEN PAIRS OF BLACK SWEAT PANTS RECENTLY PURCHASED SHE IS GOING TO KEEP AND WHICH SHE’S GOING TO RETURN.

picnic-food-iambossy

Everyone brought food items to share, such as pork sandwiches, hummus, cheese, french bread, grapes, olives, GAH NAME TAGS WOULD BE SO HELPFUL FOR THE NIGHTLY (NO) BOOK TOUR MEET-UPS. WONDER IF THEY HAVE THEM AT STAPLES AND IF THEY’RE THE KIND THAT STICK TO YOUR CLOTHES?

baseball-family-iambossy

Frisbee, football, and baseball were just a few of the activities the kids and adults enjoyed on the little knoll adjacent to the picnic blankets OH SURE NO PROBLEM BOSSY WILL JUST LEARN HOW TO USE THIS NEW IPHONE DURING HER SPARE MOMENTS NOT PACKING SIX WEEKS OF CLOTHES INTO A SHOE BOX.

picnic-blanket

It was heartwarming to see such harmony among the Bossy family cousins, as they skipped toward the playground with their large beach ball WHATEVER DO YOU MEAN BY BLUE TOOTH AND HOW WILL BOSSY HEAR HER NAVIGATION SYSTEM INSTRUCTIONS OVER THE SOUND OF OPRAH AND FRIENDS ON HER FORD FUSION’S SATELLITE RADIO?

bossys-brother-friend

It was great to be able to chat with friends and family while a slight breeze stirred and neighborhood dogs romped down the twisty path MOTRIN FIBERCON GAS-X PAMPRIN IODINE TAMPONS BOSSY KNOWS SHE’S FORGETTING SOMETHING.

sneakers

Hey, council? Meet you back here tomorrow, Tuesday April 6 for Day One of Bossy’s (No) Book Tour, which launches in New York City.

Become a fan of i am bossy on Facebook for all of the itinerary specifics, or follow Bossy on Twitter for minute-by-minute-by-sister-mercy-minute
(No) Book Tour details and tidbits. Bossy’s hashtag is #nobooktour.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Funny post! I can’t imagine all the prep work you have to do. I imagine I’d end up just heaving a wad of clothes into a container, stuff some maps in cup holder, grab a bag of M&Ms and some waters and just……..go.
    Wishing you MANY happy trails,
    Liz -from one of your not stops

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  8. Take breaks, walk around a little and keep those legs happy. Never want to need those compression stockings again, never.

    Love my satellite radio. Hope you have a co-pilot road buddy. Navigators are good to have, as are co-conspirators.

    Will be looking forward to the posts. I was telling my daughter about Bossy’s Nobook Tour this weekend. Cracked her up.

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  11. wait, and also this is what I love…not only does it look like old no-technology, but brownie underexpose.
    hilarious.

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  12. Toilet Paper and Hanitizer (what my 8 year old daughter calls hand sanitizer)!! You must pack those necessities for the less-than-well-stocked rest area restrooms you may encounter!!

    Enjoy your Bossy’s (No) Book – bypassing-Ohio-Tour!!

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  15. Wish I could meet up with you….wiah I could give you gas money….damn this economy!

    Have fun, be safe, be well.

    Sending good vibes instead of funds.

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  16. Bossy, I looked at your itinerary. I wonder if you thought of going St. Louis, Chicago, Madison, car ferry from Manitowac to Michigan, Detroit….. It seems easier than going St. Louis to Madison and then backtracking around the Lake back to Chicago…. See what you think

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  18. Get out of the car a lot and walk and stretch. I realize you are surrounded by doctors and know this already. But I can’t help myself.

    I know. I know.

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  19. Melon baller! Foolery is a GENIUS!!!!! (Adding this to my list of things to take with my on my No-Home Tour, where I drive in a totally different way than Bossy does and therefore, never cross paths until the very, very end of the No Book Tour.)

    Also, Bossy’s Mom is cracking me up.

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  20. I’m actually driving a (rental) Fusion right now and here’s the secret info: the Aux input for playing your iPod, iPhone, iNav system or whatever thru the car’s speaker system is on the front wall of the little box under the cover of the console between the seats. Intuitively obvious.
    And use 2″ wide blue painters tape instead of masking tape for name tags. Easier to remove and prettier.

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  22. Drive carefully! See you in a few weeks! Whatever you forget you can get somewhere from your council!

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  24. Love Foolery! Very important things on that list. Do NOT forget the fence stretcher and body bag (s). Call me if you need me to help hide a body. 🙂
    Alas I won’t be able to come to the Nashville meet up. Damn my life!
    Have fun and travel safe!

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  26. you can tell when Bossy’s council is getting old when all of the products we either KNOW personally or recognize as products needed a long or semi long Road Trip. Okay I am going to Las Vegas in a couple of weeks for arequired (Hehe) business trip and sadly need all of those products as well. I was going to do only a carry on but with all of these medicinal products I think being pulled out of line and stripped searched due to having all of these products in a carryon frightened me enough to decide on a check through bag ::::sigh:::.

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  29. You are forgetting to bring your sketching friend with you…. wouldn’t that be fun? oh and … remember to bring those lovely compression hose!

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  33. Baby wipes & a roll of paper towels. Lots of snacks! Bubble gum. A Box of tissues. Something to read at night.

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  34. Bossy should hide her hashtag when driving through the state of Virginia, because if she gets pulled over she’s liable to be incarcerated.

    Also, I’m counting on Kevin Bacon fitting in Bossy’s suitcase, so be sure to pack light and leave him plenty of room..

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  35. Oh Bossy… I feel SOOOOOO left out! *pouts* I so want you to add passport and sunscreen to your suitcase (port) and Australia to your itinerary. Suspecting that THAT might push you over the edge though.. and I have more than enough nervous breakdowns going on about me already!

    Have a blast… and don’t forget your sunglasses!
    🙂
    BB

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  37. That’s the worst picture of BossysBrother I’ve ever seen on these pages that are not pages.

    Yup, ya better make sure you’ve got everything with you on departure because there is No Other Place in the US that has stores. Of any sort. Of course you can buy cheetos and slimjims when you gas up if you ever DO gas up with that newfangled thang. And cheetos and slimjims will do a lot for a girl, in a pinch.

    Reply

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