First of all, isn’t this sweet? Aww. Bossy’s daughter will move mountains to share her religious chocolate with the rest of the family, especially her mother, whom she trusts to the core of her being.
Next of all: anything special happening for Bossy today? Um, let’s see… thinking… uh… Oh right today is the day Bossy loses her mind.
Speaking of losing minds, did we all remember to push the keep reading post link before reading the beginning of that paragraph, Bossy’s friend Martha we’re looking at you? Bossy apologizes for this daily jump but really council, compared to driving seven hours a day it is but a tiny speed bump in the road, and see how Bossy did that? Created a road trip pun right here in the middle of her anxiety attack?
If you haven’t yet heard, today is the day Bossy leaves on a 12,000-mile cross-continental book tour to promote the book she didn’t write! This Ponzi scheme with a side order of breakfast sandwich is known as Bossy’s (No) Book Tour and you can get all the details here.
To prepare for today’s departure, Bossy has been all about the new stuff. Her first new stuff is this:
It’s an iPhone box and surprisingly it contains an iPhone. Granted Bossy loves change as much as finding out Google changed the size of their search font, but that cursing you hear, bouncing off the Lake Effect, is Bossy trying not to compare her new iPhone to the Sprint HTC phone she’s been using for the past six months — and the very last thing Bossy is ever going to say about that is What do you mean iPhone has no universal back button and why don’t Bossy’s incoming emails thread?
Who feels better now?
Also Bossy has been known to say that she thinks iPhone users have all sipped The Kool Aid, but if Bossy actually wrote that down on this blog she would get lots of Oh No She Didn’t comments and also she would be breaking her This is the very last thing Bossy is going to say about the iPhone rule. So Bossy will keep that to herself.
Besides, Bossy is sure it’s notthe iPhone, it’s her, because Bossy is probably Doing It All Wrong, which is why Bossy is so relieved that her iPhone box which contains an iPhone also came with an instruction manual:
Other new stuff:
Yesterday Bossy married the sweet woman pictured above, whose name is now Mrs. Bossy, even though she’s Miss Ford Delivery Person to you. She delivered Bossy’s Ford Fusion bright and early in the morning, hold the bright. And it was really fun sitting in the car with Mrs. Bossy learning all about the xkdlfjrbnrjrk and the kdklnwiekfmnfnf. Yeah, apparently Bossy needs to work on her retentive skills.
Other new stuff:
Well here it is! Bossy’s Ford Fusion which is a hybrid and here’s everything you need to know about a hybrid: when you turn the key it doesn’t start. Or it does start, but so silently as to be crazy-making, and Bossy only hopes she remembers to turn this silent and efficient car off every night or it won’t be very good on gas after all.
Anyway. Today Bossy waves goodbye to her family and drives to New York City for the launch of this thing, otherwise known as the Fried Fried Tour.
Here we go! Beep beep.