First of all, isn’t this sweet? Aww. Bossy’s daughter will move mountains to share her religious chocolate with the rest of the family, especially her mother, whom she trusts to the core of her being.
Next of all: anything special happening for Bossy today? Um, let’s see… thinking… uh… Oh right today is the day Bossy loses her mind.
Speaking of losing minds, did we all remember to push the keep reading post link before reading the beginning of that paragraph, Bossy’s friend Martha we’re looking at you? Bossy apologizes for this daily jump but really council, compared to driving seven hours a day it is but a tiny speed bump in the road, and see how Bossy did that? Created a road trip pun right here in the middle of her anxiety attack?
If you haven’t yet heard, today is the day Bossy leaves on a 12,000-mile cross-continental book tour to promote the book she didn’t write! This Ponzi scheme with a side order of breakfast sandwich is known as Bossy’s (No) Book Tour and you can get all the details here.
To prepare for today’s departure, Bossy has been all about the new stuff. Her first new stuff is this:
It’s an iPhone box and surprisingly it contains an iPhone. Granted Bossy loves change as much as finding out Google changed the size of their search font, but that cursing you hear, bouncing off the Lake Effect, is Bossy trying not to compare her new iPhone to the Sprint HTC phone she’s been using for the past six months — and the very last thing Bossy is ever going to say about that is What do you mean iPhone has no universal back button and why don’t Bossy’s incoming emails thread?
Who feels better now?
Also Bossy has been known to say that she thinks iPhone users have all sipped The Kool Aid, but if Bossy actually wrote that down on this blog she would get lots of Oh No She Didn’t comments and also she would be breaking her This is the very last thing Bossy is going to say about the iPhone rule. So Bossy will keep that to herself.
Besides, Bossy is sure it’s notthe iPhone, it’s her, because Bossy is probably Doing It All Wrong, which is why Bossy is so relieved that her iPhone box which contains an iPhone also came with an instruction manual:
Other new stuff:
Yesterday Bossy married the sweet woman pictured above, whose name is now Mrs. Bossy, even though she’s Miss Ford Delivery Person to you. She delivered Bossy’s Ford Fusion bright and early in the morning, hold the bright. And it was really fun sitting in the car with Mrs. Bossy learning all about the xkdlfjrbnrjrk and the kdklnwiekfmnfnf. Yeah, apparently Bossy needs to work on her retentive skills.
Other new stuff:
Well here it is! Bossy’s Ford Fusion which is a hybrid and here’s everything you need to know about a hybrid: when you turn the key it doesn’t start. Or it does start, but so silently as to be crazy-making, and Bossy only hopes she remembers to turn this silent and efficient car off every night or it won’t be very good on gas after all.
Anyway. Today Bossy waves goodbye to her family and drives to New York City for the launch of this thing, otherwise known as the Fried Fried Tour.
For up to the minute information about meet-ups in every city, please fan Bossy on Facebook, and follow her on Twitter. Bossy’s road trip hashtag is #nobooktour
Here we go! Beep beep.
corrie saysApril 6, 2010 at 9:34 am
I hope you took some religious candy to have on hand for the drive!
ballroompics saysApril 6, 2010 at 9:37 am
…and at least paid attention to the break-in period rules…if Hybrid cars have such.
Dara saysApril 6, 2010 at 9:43 am
Bon Voyage, Bossy!!
WebSavvyMom saysApril 6, 2010 at 9:45 am
–>Feel free to take 64 East from Richmond to Virginia Beach on Friday!
Drive fast; take chances!
Aunt Snow saysApril 6, 2010 at 9:51 am
We love our Fusion hybrid, which we got in october. And the thing about turning it on or off? After driving the hybrid for so long, my husband has the problem when he drives a regular car – he forgets to turn it off. I don’t quite know why it worked out that way, but I tell you, the last time we drove a rental car I had to keep reminding him to turn the car off.
Aunt Snow saysApril 6, 2010 at 9:51 am
And – of course – have a great drive!! Be safe and see you in CA.
Bonnie saysApril 6, 2010 at 9:51 am
I’m with Deb – drive recklessly! Have a blast! See you next week in Hooterville!
Cactus Petunia saysApril 6, 2010 at 10:05 am
Happy trails, Bossy!
jeri saysApril 6, 2010 at 10:21 am
As I say to both of my kids as they drive away to wherever they may be going, “Drive carefully. Lock your doors. Be safe. Have fun!”
bossy's friend amy saysApril 6, 2010 at 10:31 am
wow, so you bought the iPhone AND changed plans – you are one adventurous woman.
Texas Susan saysApril 6, 2010 at 10:40 am
Journey well! And you WILL learn to love your iPhone . . . I wouldn’t leave home without mine EVER!!
Jeannie saysApril 6, 2010 at 10:44 am
Writing in on iPhone to say have fun, I’ll be reading and, “bossy’s not coming to the beach…wah.”
Ris saysApril 6, 2010 at 10:59 am
Exciting! Wishing you safe travels!
Kitten saysApril 6, 2010 at 11:02 am
Your newest follower covets both Mrs Bossy’s shoes and Mrs Bossy’s dress. And Mrs. Bossy’s rack, truth be known.
Suzanne saysApril 6, 2010 at 11:09 am
Smooth sailing Bossy! All the good things like Bon Voyage and Happy Trails were taken 😉
Seriously… travel safe and have a great time! I will live vicariously through you.
Half Assed Kitchen saysApril 6, 2010 at 11:17 am
Good luck, Bossy! Don’t drive and iPhone.
bossy's friend martha saysApril 6, 2010 at 11:27 am
Yay! But, wait, now what do I do with my best buddy gone for 6 WEEKS!?!? xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo (sigh.)
Stacey Ball saysApril 6, 2010 at 11:38 am
Wooo hooooo, let the driving begin! Have fun in your hybrid and do not feel alone. While I don’t have an iPhone, I do have an iTouch and I HATE that the emails don’t thread. It makes for a ridiculous inbox when one is trying to figure out when one is going to meet Bossy!
Bellacantare saysApril 6, 2010 at 11:47 am
whoo! See you in San Francisco
Frimmy saysApril 6, 2010 at 12:36 pm
Congrats to you and Mrs. Bossy! I recently married my iPhone 3G that’s how much I love it and I used a basic Motorola flip thingy for 3 years. Mrs. iPhone says you too will grow to love yours. (user’s guide can be downloaded online where you can adjust the font to your size or do the “control +” function and magnify it to your liking) Have fun and drive adventurously but safely.
foolery saysApril 6, 2010 at 12:53 pm
E-mails don’t what now? Hmmmm. I still don’t know how to turn on/off the speaker phone on my Not An iPhone (which has been interesting more than once). Good luck with that.
suzr saysApril 6, 2010 at 1:09 pm
have a funa nd safe trip Bossy! sorry I can’t come out to the NYC stop tonight 🙁
suzr saysApril 6, 2010 at 1:10 pm
dontcha like how i say sorry like you know who the heck I am and you’re going to miss me ever so much!
sometimes i type faster than i think. wish i could come…better 🙂
Chookooloonks saysApril 6, 2010 at 1:28 pm
Godspeed, Bossy. May the wind be at your back!
The Domestic Goddess saysApril 6, 2010 at 1:40 pm
Meg at the Members Lounge saysApril 6, 2010 at 1:45 pm
Safe travels Bossy! See you on the tail end in Boston!
Grandma J saysApril 6, 2010 at 2:15 pm
Have fun Bossy! Grandma J hopes the Ford Lady showed Bossy how to connect to SYNC so she can use the hands free phone and navagation…and also have the SYNC lady read her text messages to her. Grandma J sends herself text messages just so she can have the SYNC lady read them back.
Birdbrain saysApril 6, 2010 at 2:26 pm
Can’t tell you how many times my daughter has told me “Mom, step away from the chocolate, wine, cookies…. etc.” Buon Viaggio!
La Suzette saysApril 6, 2010 at 3:48 pm
Drive carefully and have a blast. So sorry I won’t see you here in Seattle, was so looking forward to it. Meredith will bring me a full report! You’ll recognize her as the one who is about 18 months pregnant!
Laurie saysApril 6, 2010 at 5:31 pm
Get some warm fuzzy’s or if you’re really ambitious you can even be Bossy’s Boss!
Reeb saysApril 6, 2010 at 6:27 pm
Why doesn’t Bossy ever take Bossys-Friend-Martha along on one of these road trips so (a) they can share the fun (?) driving and (b) we don’t have to read that plaintive wailing from BFM?
Bon voyage, Bossy! BossysDaughter, now you get all the chocolate!!!
Reeb saysApril 6, 2010 at 6:28 pm
PS. Was thinking I might join the Seattle confab but now will be winging my way to see my sis in San Diego. Dang, I wanted to see and eighteen-months pregnant woman, too!
Jim saysApril 6, 2010 at 6:42 pm
Quite everyone ! I don’t think this thing is working!
Kelly Stern saysApril 6, 2010 at 6:47 pm
We cannot wait for Thursday!! And I am still trying to learn my android…this touch phone stuff is wierd after years of a flip phone…safe times in NYC and DC…then the RIC!!
confused saysApril 6, 2010 at 7:15 pm
Drive defensively, wear your seatbelt, both hands on the wheel; 10 oclock and 2 oclock, use your mirrors, stop and rest when you need to… yada yada yada. Enjoy every moment!
Poor Bossy’s friend Martha…..
Jason saysApril 6, 2010 at 8:47 pm
And she’s off! Please don’t hold your iphone and drive or text and drive. Or drink and drive. Or sleep and drive. Or change clothes and drive.
And sleep longer this time. Last time you just didn’t get enough sleep and it worried me sick.
From your mother.
amber star saysApril 7, 2010 at 12:19 am
You are still coming to DFW area!!! I haven’t had time to read the part that got axed. We are so looking forward to meeting you. My husband just looks at me and laffs from time to time while I’m on the phone with my cousin or sister. My sister will not be able to meet you and is sick about it, but work issues came up. I’m to take a lot of pictures of you so try not to get flipped out …I’m not stalking…just trying to fill in the gaps for my sister. I think my knitting group that meets on Monday is vexed with me, but that is just tough thread to them.
Be sure to get plenty of sleep and all that you know to do normally to take care of you.
This post you just posted seems more like the old Bossy I got to know a long time ago. I’m glad you are back.
Robin saysApril 7, 2010 at 1:19 am
I, too, am a new Bossy fan. The State of Bossy is huge and profound. Today I figured out that Chicago is my best shot at meeting Bossy until Bossy’s next trek. I am SO looking forward to it…drive well and iPhone funly.
Dawn in Austin saysApril 7, 2010 at 7:26 am
Annnnd…she’s OFF! Like a new bride’s panties!
this shouted from the back seat on every. single. road trip for 15 years.
Now you can have it!
Bridget saysApril 7, 2010 at 9:23 am
So exciting! Have a great trip. I look forward to your posts about the No Book Tour!
Martha in Kansas saysApril 7, 2010 at 10:39 am
Bon voyage! And don’t forget to put gas in that car! I know someone who ran out of gas on the highway in a hybrid because, hey, it had electricity. The highway patrol laughed at him, and when they stopped laughing they said it happens a lot.
Judy Yeager saysApril 7, 2010 at 1:04 pm
Hey! My i-phone didn’t come with an instruction manual! They must have added that since I got mine…