You are looking at Bossy’s tinted moisturizer which exploded all over the bathroom last night after whatever altitude change occurred during Bossy’s drive from Boise Idaho to Rawlins Wyoming.
But before we begin, Bossy wants to address a comment made yesterday by one of Bossy’s esteemed council regarding Bossy’s (No) Book Tour that went a little like this: Girl why are you on that idiot trip anyway when you are steady complaining the whole six weeks?
This struck Bossy because she truly isn’t complaining. Obviously there are a few inconveniences associated with driving an average of eight hours a day, like rising at 4:30 a.m. in order to get out of dodge before that city’s commute stalls the day — or like pooing in truck stops and napping in the backseat of her car and eating enough salty road food to swell one’s fingers to the size of thighs and watching one’s eyeglass prescription tumble down the eye chart due to eye strain and worrying over muscle atrophy due to absolutely zero exercise and dealing with lockjaw from too much gum chewed to stay awake and coping with the sheer terror of having to cross flooded roadways and snow-covered mountain passes, all while alone, but Bossy is not complaining.
And if it did seem like complaining, Bossy apologizes for how tedious that must seem, and she promises to never do it again. Ever. Except this once. And every day after this.
Back to the tinted moisturizer that exploded in Bossy’s makeup bag. The first disappointment is the expense of this moisturizer and how Bossy uses it so sparingly, which made Bossy tabulate the amount smeared on her toothbrush case alone and decide that was enough to last Bossy until Chicago. The second disappointment was how it insidiously covered absolutely everything and so Bossy had to empty the contents of her makeup bag and clean everything off after she had been driving for ten hours:
This made Bossy think about other things that haven’t adhered to Bossy’s concept of how things would transpire on her (No) Book Tour. Let’s look at a few of those things, shall we?
This is Bossy’s foundation and it has two problems. The first is that the top cracked and it no longer snaps on securely so Bossy always worries its contents will spill all over Bossy’s makeup bag. Silly Bossy, like that would ever happen!
The second problem is Bossy didn’t realize when packing she is almost out of this foundation, so when she needs to apply
spackle foundation to her face to cover up her blotchy lack of sleep, Bossy is all press press press the nozzle and nothing comes out. Isn’t that special?
Next we have this:
This stack of clothes represent those things Bossy keeps in her suitcase that she has worn again and again.
And this stack of clothes represents the things Bossy keeps in her suitcase that she hasn’t worn yet. Isn’t that special?
Here are a few additional things that never got the Make Life Easy On Bossy memo, which currently litter her crowded mobile home:
Bossy can summarize the special things she didn’t necessarily count on in this way: Sister mercy how about Nashville’s floods? Bossy’s thoughts with you.
Which is what today’s Ten-Word Challenge is all about. In exactly ten words, can you tell Bossy and her council about something unexpected and oh so special that’s going on in your life right now, even if it’s not the scale of something important like the floods in Nashville. Because we all deserve to complain a little here and there. Mostly here.
And be sure to check back later today for the specialist comments on the web.
Meanwhile, tonight Bossy is in Denver, and tomorrow Kansas City!