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Ten-Word Tuesday. The Isn’t That Special Edition

tinted-moisturizer

You are looking at Bossy’s tinted moisturizer which exploded all over the bathroom last night after whatever altitude change occurred during Bossy’s drive from Boise Idaho to Rawlins Wyoming.

But before we begin, Bossy wants to address a comment made yesterday by one of Bossy’s esteemed council regarding Bossy’s (No) Book Tour that went a little like this: Girl why are you on that idiot trip anyway when you are steady complaining the whole six weeks?

This struck Bossy because she truly isn’t complaining. Obviously there are a few inconveniences associated with driving an average of eight hours a day, like rising at 4:30 a.m. in order to get out of dodge before that city’s commute stalls the day — or like pooing in truck stops and napping in the backseat of her car and eating enough salty road food to swell one’s fingers to the size of thighs and watching one’s eyeglass prescription tumble down the eye chart due to eye strain and worrying over muscle atrophy due to absolutely zero exercise and dealing with lockjaw from too much gum chewed to stay awake and coping with the sheer terror of having to cross flooded roadways and snow-covered mountain passes, all while alone, but Bossy is not complaining.

And if it did seem like complaining, Bossy apologizes for how tedious that must seem, and she promises to never do it again. Ever. Except this once. And every day after this.

Back to the tinted moisturizer that exploded in Bossy’s makeup bag. The first disappointment is the expense of this moisturizer and how Bossy uses it so sparingly, which made Bossy tabulate the amount smeared on her toothbrush case alone and decide that was enough to last Bossy until Chicago. The second disappointment was how it insidiously covered absolutely everything and so Bossy had to empty the contents of her makeup bag and clean everything off after she had been driving for ten hours:

leaking-moisturizer

This made Bossy think about other things that haven’t adhered to Bossy’s concept of how things would transpire on her (No) Book Tour. Let’s look at a few of those things, shall we?

foundation-iambossy

This is Bossy’s foundation and it has two problems. The first is that the top cracked and it no longer snaps on securely so Bossy always worries its contents will spill all over Bossy’s makeup bag. Silly Bossy, like that would ever happen!

The second problem is Bossy didn’t realize when packing she is almost out of this foundation, so when she needs to apply spackle foundation to her face to cover up her blotchy lack of sleep, Bossy is all press press press the nozzle and nothing comes out. Isn’t that special?

Next we have this:

clothes-worn-iambossy

This stack of clothes represent those things Bossy keeps in her suitcase that she has worn again and again.

And this stack of clothes represents the things Bossy keeps in her suitcase that she hasn’t worn yet. Isn’t that special?

clothes-not-worn-iambossy

Here are a few additional things that never got the Make Life Easy On Bossy memo, which currently litter her crowded mobile home:

jeans-big-iambossy

extra-headphones

brown-bag-iambossy

seattle-wall-mural-iambossy-georgia-getz

drugstore-supplies-iambossy

tire-chains-duffel-iambossy

frizz-iambossy

Bossy can summarize the special things she didn’t necessarily count on in this way: Sister mercy how about Nashville’s floods? Bossy’s thoughts with you.

Which is what today’s Ten-Word Challenge is all about. In exactly ten words, can you tell Bossy and her council about something unexpected and oh so special that’s going on in your life right now, even if it’s not the scale of something important like the floods in Nashville. Because we all deserve to complain a little here and there. Mostly here.

And be sure to check back later today for the specialist comments on the web.

Meanwhile, tonight Bossy is in Denver, and tomorrow Kansas City!

Reader Interactions

Comments

  16. New coworker, does nothing, her salary eating into what pittance of a bonus I should be getting in July. Ugh. (Sorry for this being over ten words)

    Reply

  19. What is better than vicarious road trips, complete with all the specialness?

    My own 10 word complaint?
    Congestion; phlegmy; fat man sitting on my chest. . . secondary infection!

    Reply

  20. Family lost a son too early, much sadness all around.
    Also:
    Roof flies off house, misses barbie doll sister, so glad!
    True story- a roof flew off a house and smashed the car she had been sitting in 10 seconds earlier.
    We are a very grateful family right now!

    Reply

  21. ^^^shelley – The Sure Thing is not only my favorite John Cusack movie but probably my overall favorite movie. I think that was also my very first ten word challenge.
    Now on to this challenge…
    “suddenly” needs surgery but “suddenly” = not scheduled until mid-June

    Reply

  25. Ariel – Reading your comment made me count my blessings rather than complain. Thank you for reminding me of the blessings!

    Reply

  26. There are lots of travel blogs about how beautiful our country is (mine included). But not everybody can complain funny. Bossy can. Anyway, complaining balanced by ‘little known fact’ post yesterday.

    Travel safe. (I know this isn’t 10-word-tuesday.)

    Reply

  31. Sister/BFF diagnosed with Hepatitis C, two kids.
    NO risk factors!

    Big ugly mystery/misery.

    Reply

  35. Meter whose original “fix” included a house clearing gas leak.

    BH = all kinds of charmed over this one…

    Reply

  40. Cabin filled with mold. Moving back onto RV, this time with *three* kids. Don’t tell the 32 chicks we’re raising, or the seedlings we started, or the plans we made, the furniture we just bought….

    Reply

  57. Bossy’s coming, St Louis, two vacation days, because I can.
    Don’t get me started with the complaining. Besides, there are people in the world ( and Bossy’s council) that have real problems. Mine are nothing compared.

    Reply

  59. Managed avoiding telling griping sis: “you have Rich Woman problems!”

    (Her back yard isn’t perfect, is going to cost $10,000.)

    Of course her husband had sudden quadruple bypass surgery too.

    Reply

  60. BH, Bossys Mom, BS, and most of all Bossys Daughter: am missing stories of your doings (beyond 10 words)! Get home, Bossy! BH needs someone to complain to in PERSON.

    Sorry, not 10 words. Just loved reading your contributions above.

    Reply

  64. Bossy I have been using Complex 15 ever since you featured it on your favorite things – what is with this tinted stuff?

    Reply

  67. Convenient bathroom toilet outtacommission
    Schlep downthehall? Cold at night!
    (Cheatercheater!)

    PS:
    Plus, pioneers? No toilets.
    Early settlers? Outhouses.
    People in Haiti? No hall!

    Notsobadafterall !

    Reply

  75. Surprise! My mom has one year to live! Damn metastasis.

    Bossy – why don’t you put broken/possibly explodey things in separate ziplocks?

    Reply

  79. I took the bullet and volunteered (now isn’t THAT stupid!) to work two schools and now I’ve been told that next year I can stay in one building but I have to change grades. crap, crap and double crap.

    Reply

  99. After reading these comments I realize that I’m not alone and one way or another, we’ll get by. There is much to be thankful for. I have a job. It sucks right now for lots of folks. Nashville!
    Bossy.. never thought you were complaining. Just thought you were telling your story 😉 I have loved every, sometimes scary, minute of it. Living vicariously through you.
    Have more fun!!

    Reply

  100. 18-year old Brazilian houseguest hasn’t learned how to deactivate lights.

    (I really meant turn off lights, but that would have meant 11 word and I just couldn’t do that. Also, the TV is a problem and holy mother of . . . put your dishes in the dishwasher. You may have a maid at home, but I don’t have one here! Other than that, he’s charming.)

    Reply

  102. hi boss. Nice to meet you. Zdub told me she met you last night and you found her through me! So I had to check you out. I looked at your non book tour and you are discriminating against where I live. In order to be my actual boss I expect at least 1 face to face meeting. Otherwise I can’t do my job and you’re a terrible boss.

    Reply

  103. Mom is dying (leukemia) and I can’t make it stop.

    [To the moms with bitchy adolescent daughters: they will RUE THE DAY, believe me. I do. I wish I could take back every hateful thing I ever said to my mom. Of course, by this time you will be dying and perhaps have more important things to think about].

    Reply

  104. Funny, I never thought you were complaining–just entertaining!

    Here’s my 10:
    Been supporting unemployed sister & parents & starting to resent.

    Reply

  105. OMGosh Bless everyone and hope that today’s problems become tomorrow’s memories as they are allll resolved.
    Ok complaint.
    Still have 50# to lose and want it gone NOW (156# gone to this point) Yipee

    Reply

  108. Have to get my cervix roto-rootered on Friday to clear out the pre-cancerous cells that have taken up residence there… Isn’t that special?

    Reply

  118. “Unfriended” after comments to college buddy about Obama Hate Prayer

    I’m so sorry – I got on a roll…talk about complaining…! But I love reading about Bossy’s life (and also wish she could come to the Twin Cities).

    Reply

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