Bret Michaels was born Bret Michael Sychak in 1963 in a small town outside of Pittsburgh:
Despite being diagnosed with diabetes at the age of six, his childhood passed uneventfully. He began playing guitar as a teenager and joined many bands before forming Poison, a glam metal band, which gained in popularity before moving to Los Angeles. Bret Michaels became the band’s bouncy frontman:
Poison penned many hits such as Unskinny Bop and um right! As was common in the 80s, Bret Michaels fell prey to the usual sex and drugs and rock and roll debauchery:
And then, over a decade later, Bret Michaels reinvented himself as a glam metal frontman! A glam metal frontman in the market for a wife! And so he became the subject of the reality television show Rock of Love:
This past year has been a busy one for Bret Michaels, who suffered a variety of things, including a stint on Celebrity Apprentice, and a subarachnoid hemorrhage in his brain.
It was mounting concerns regarding his health that landed Bret Michaels on the Aunt Oprah show recently:
During his interview, Bret Michaels became choked up and explained that he never lost hope, not even during his extended hospital stay:
Included in the Oprah interview was Bret’s girlfriend and the mother of his two children, who feels as though Bret’s been given a second chance, which mirrors their own recent reconciliation:
Bret’s medical condition remains tenuous, as he recently suffered another stroke, and then something worse than a stroke, which was his guest appearance on American Idol.
We wish you the best, Bret Michaels! Be well.
Half Assed Kitchen saysMay 28, 2010 at 10:44 am
I love imagining Bossy out in her yard doing this photo shoot.
always home and uncool saysMay 28, 2010 at 10:46 am
Better than any I’ve ever seen of VH1 “Behind the Music.” But did we really need to see Aunt Oprah naked?
SparkGirl saysMay 28, 2010 at 10:58 am
Absolutely brilliant. And I am SO with you about his Idol performance. Casey, who butchered the hell out of that song, sang it better than Bret. How sad.
GrandeMocha saysMay 28, 2010 at 11:02 am
With all her billions, Oprah can’t afford clothes? Although, if I had that bod, I’d be tempted to be naked all the time too.
GrandeMocha saysMay 28, 2010 at 11:03 am
What kind of doll is the headless doll in pic #3? I don’t remember Ken having anything down there.
Wendy saysMay 28, 2010 at 11:05 am
boy, that geneen roth book on women and food really did change oprah’s relationship with eating. she looks awesome!
but you didn’t answer my longstanding question: if bret takes off the bandana, does the hair go with it??
dexter saysMay 28, 2010 at 11:09 am
Where did you find that teeny bandana?
Jami saysMay 28, 2010 at 11:13 am
I think Brett wears the bandana to keep his brains from falling out. Or to keep his head from exploding. I don’t think he had a stroke, though – he just accidentally tied the headband too tight.
Meg at the Members Lounge saysMay 28, 2010 at 11:15 am
Bret does bear a striking resemblance to Barbie. And wears as much eyeliner. Brilliant theater!
Manic Mommy saysMay 28, 2010 at 11:29 am
I see Oprah’s been yo-yo dieting again.
I have so missed Barbie Theater
Lisa! saysMay 28, 2010 at 11:44 am
Now that….was awesome!
madtexter saysMay 28, 2010 at 11:50 am
Fantastic! Can’t wait for the sequel. You should SO have your own (un)reality show. Cracking me up.
Sarcastic Bastard saysMay 28, 2010 at 12:07 pm
This is great, but I think you should have mentioned something about the hair weave. It almost has a life of its own. It’s practically his co-star.
Gail K. saysMay 28, 2010 at 12:27 pm
I shouted “Yay!” (to no one) when I saw it was Barbie Thee-ay-ter day as I have a bowl of popcorn sitting right next to me! I was actually prepared.
Nicely done, Bossy. However I agree that we didn’t need to see Aunt Oprah naked and It would have been nice if Uncle Donald (Trump, not Duck) had put in an appearance.
Reeb saysMay 28, 2010 at 12:30 pm
Pencil for a microphone! Hahahahaha.
I now know more about Bret whatsisname than I ever have before. He hit the cover of People mag with that brain issue, and I thought, “who is this guy” which either shows you how out of it I am, or how I have a life of my own.
Thank you, Barbie Theater, for once again bringing me up to speed on issues of American Culture.
meleah rebeccah saysMay 28, 2010 at 12:46 pm
Poor Brett Michaels!
Jean saysMay 28, 2010 at 1:28 pm
Loving the Barbie Theatre, especially the debauchery in the tub in photo #4!! And the car wreck!!
You have a very clever mind, Bossy.
Catherine McP saysMay 28, 2010 at 1:28 pm
I love the car crash scene, It looks real… I too said “Yea” when I saw it was Barbie theater!
Deb saysMay 28, 2010 at 1:33 pm
Those are some pretty slutty barbies you got there.
This is the funniest thing I have seen all day.
Chrissy saysMay 28, 2010 at 2:11 pm
Oh, this is my favorite one ever!
And yeah, another Rock of Love? Of course another Rock of Love! People will believe that these celebrities are actually searching for love and stuff on these shows, when in reality they’ve got a wife and kids at home. Case in point: Hoopz, winner of the first season of Flavor of Love, was at my house once (yes she was) and she explained that of course she knew she wasn’t really WITH him, but people got upset when they saw her around with her real boyfriend (a super cute basketball player). She said it was super weird and that those VH1 shows are freakin’ crazy on set and that she was saving the grill that Flava gave her in case she needed to melt it down or sell it on ebay or something for extra money. Weird weird weird and I LOVE the tub photo as well. I wish I could make it my screensaver but my five year old would ask questions.
Franca Bollo saysMay 28, 2010 at 2:32 pm
We’re cosmically connected … I was thinking just YESTERDAY Bossy was due for a Barbie Theater reenactment … et violà!
Gramps saysMay 28, 2010 at 3:54 pm
Who’s Bret Michaels???? (I had to go look how to spell his name)
krg saysMay 28, 2010 at 4:38 pm
ihave really missed barbie theater. thanks! and where is far flung?
Melanie @ Mel, A Dramatic Mommy saysMay 28, 2010 at 4:51 pm
Too funny! I love the naked Oprah. It’s great that Bossy still plays with dolls.
Little Miss Sunshine State saysMay 28, 2010 at 5:30 pm
I think there’s some shenanigans going on in that bathtub.
Doug saysMay 28, 2010 at 6:25 pm
That is one absolutely teriffic post.
Tania - Chicky Chicky Baby saysMay 28, 2010 at 6:50 pm
Oprah’s looking good. A little plastic though. I think she had some work done.
Niki in Baltimore saysMay 28, 2010 at 6:59 pm
Very informative and educational, though i do have one question: why is Oprah naked?
La Suzette saysMay 28, 2010 at 7:13 pm
@grandmocha, I’m with you! Since when did Ken become anatomically correct (or approximate)? Skinny Oprah is fake, I think she hired a body double. I have never seen Barbie theater before, but it is AWESOME! You, too, Bossy.
Jenn @ Juggling LIfe saysMay 28, 2010 at 8:02 pm
I didn’t care about this at all–until Barbie theater. Wait, I still don’t care, but this was fun!
Lora saysMay 28, 2010 at 8:36 pm
Every morning for two months or so now I wake up and jump in the shower. In the shower, I invariably ask myself “Is Bret still alive today?”
Prior to the hemorrage, I never thought about Bret in the shower. Or anywhere else, really.
My life has been reduced to wondering about the state of BM’s aliveness while I soap up. Sigh.
Cupcake Murphy saysMay 28, 2010 at 9:56 pm
I’m such a hateful person I can’t get past the 24 HOURS A DAY BANDANA ALL THE TIME EVEN WHEN YOU’RE IN BRAIN SURGERY AND SUFFERING A BRAIN EXPLOSION can you stop with the Bandana? Obviously not.
elz saysMay 28, 2010 at 10:55 pm
Loved the baby bandana b/c of course baby Bret would rock the bandana! a babydana
Linda saysMay 29, 2010 at 12:46 am
the bandana helps hold his wig down. that’s my theory and I’m stickin’ to it.
Catch the kids saysMay 29, 2010 at 3:51 am
My four year old daughter is standing beside the computer, absolutely entranced. I love the pencil for the microphone and she loves the car crash. I think that’s because the car is pink.
We had to have a Polly Pocket Intervention at our place the other day, so even though this is the first Barbie Theatre I’ve seen, it feels truly right. Too Hilarious! We’ll be back for more!
Erika saysMay 29, 2010 at 6:52 am
It is spooky how similar Bret Michaels looks to Barbie-Bret, loved it!
Dara saysMay 29, 2010 at 10:14 am
Bossy, you nailed the 80’s sex, drugs, and hair-rock-n-roll with the bathtub scene!!! Floating Ken-doll head? Spectacular!!! Two thumbs up!!
linlah saysMay 29, 2010 at 2:21 pm
When did Oprah start doing her show naked?
Heart Shaped Hedges saysMay 30, 2010 at 12:28 am
ONLY on Bossy could I see Oprah’s Va-Jay Jay!!
My religious uptightness makes it so hard to comprehend the nice-guy-ness with the Pimp-ho-ness of Rock of Love….also, the hair, cant figure that out.
thanks for making me laugh!
KathyB saysMay 30, 2010 at 9:21 am
Thank you, Bossy, for staging another magnificent Barbie Theater performance. Had to send the link to my daughter. She can use a crack me up performance right now.
Well Read Hostess saysMay 30, 2010 at 10:28 am
I think BOSSY should try to get herself on as a Rock of Love mole candidate, reporting LIVE from the inside.
Colette saysMay 30, 2010 at 4:45 pm
…and now I know what “Lesbian Barbie” would wear…
ann's rants saysMay 30, 2010 at 9:20 pm
Hi. This is brilliant. Bye.
Chesapeake Bay Woman saysMay 31, 2010 at 10:08 pm
I’ll be right back after I stop laughing at the headline and very first photo, which no doubt is followed by brilliant stuff and all, but then after I saw Barbie/What’s His Name in the crib in the second photo, and an emergency 911 call had to be dialed to ensure oxygen flow to my brain. So far, I’m still exhaling in laughter.
If I ever make it past those first two photos, i’m sure I’d say something like, “Dear Bossy, Thank you.”
Arli saysMay 31, 2010 at 10:27 pm
Bossy, how do you think this stuff up? Really?
alexandra saysJune 1, 2010 at 10:02 am
I WOULD HAVE FUN DOING THIS!
I’ve got to get “digital photography for dummies.”
This was life changing inspirational my life will never be the same awesome!
Deb saysJune 1, 2010 at 12:35 pm
Another fabulous edition of Barbie theatre. Thanks for clearing this whole Bret Michaels thing up for me- I was so confused…..
Natalie saysJune 1, 2010 at 2:07 pm
I absolutely love your sense of humor! This is the only site that doesn’t make me bored. Thanks for the CQE….(constant quality entertainment – yes, I just made that up)
MomZombie saysJune 1, 2010 at 3:22 pm
Your minimalist approach is impeccable. Washcloth=hospital. Ken head in tub=debauchery.
kitchensink saysJune 1, 2010 at 3:50 pm
I laughed. I cried. I was on the edge of my seat the whole time. Theater at it’s best!
runnergirl saysJune 1, 2010 at 5:50 pm
What a day at the Theater!!! Two Enthusiastic Thumbs UP!!!!! I laughed, I cried, I’ve cleaned myself up from the laughing and crying. Love the Mandana, Naked Aunt Oprah, and lesbian barbie sitting on Aunt O’s couch with her baby’s mama, oh, wait, that was Bret. Love Bret Michaels, but love even more what you have done with him!!!
Mr Farty saysJune 1, 2010 at 7:09 pm
I nearly spat out my tea at comment #8.
I heart Barbie Theater, thank you so much. xxx
Hippo Brigade saysJune 1, 2010 at 7:51 pm
I remember singing “unskinny bop” in the car when I was 8-ish. My mom asked, “Do you know what you’re singing?” To which I replied, “Yeah, it’s a song about boobies, right?”
I was a very mature 8 year old.
Laurie saysJune 1, 2010 at 9:29 pm
I was WONDERING if his headband was on the whole time!!!!
joeinvegas saysJune 2, 2010 at 12:08 am
Oprah neked wasn’t bad. I hope Brett eventually meets his destiny, and she doesn’t take all his money (prenup)
runnergirl saysJune 2, 2010 at 7:07 am
another note of interest; Barbie’s makeup looks like Bret’s makeup from the 80’s. Well played, Bossy. Barbie’s eyeliner is applied a little heavier than Bret’s current guyliner, but hey, wonder if Mattel ever knew Barbie would become such an iconic figure in the theater, and styled her as such.
Nian Rubin saysJune 2, 2010 at 2:50 pm
I live for Barbie theatre. Especially liked the eyeliner enhancement to Bret. Bring back Rock of Love.
Audrey at Barking Mad saysJune 2, 2010 at 10:47 pm
Laughing too hard to leave a coherent comment…especially because I may or may not have dated Ricky Rocket (formerly of Poison) some many many years ago.
Elizabeth @ Table for Five saysJune 7, 2010 at 11:25 am
I had no idea that Mary-Kate (or is that Ashley) was a Bret Michaels groupie! I was happy he won Celebrity Apprentice even while laying in a hospital bed, that’s some serious talent there. Maybe that bandanna gives him superpowers!
muskrat saysSeptember 18, 2010 at 12:23 pm
This makes me feel better about playing with dolls when I was younger. And by “younger,” I mean earlier this morning.