This has been Bossy’s view for the last six days as she lounges lakeside in her bucolic Vermont campground where there isn’t anything remotely tick-like or poison-ivy-infested, hi Park Ranger!
When not lounging — or wrapping things in bacon — Bossy has been dedicating the enforced downtime with limited connectivity to reading this book:
Originally published in 1960, it is the granddaddy of the self help books which proclaim that a mind-body connection is the way to achieve personal goals. This is accomplished by visualization of positive outcomes and an adjustment of one’s self image. Even if Bossy can’t help but listen to the critic within when studying the graphics on her book’s jacket:
But get this: while Bossy was off awakening her automatic success mechanism and discovering her best self in the theater of her mind, an email was lying dormant in her inbox.
Who would like to venture a guess regarding the deadline? Oh yes, that’s right, it passed two days ago, without Bossy.
To recap: while Bossy was stressing her already injured tailbone sitting at a splintery picnic table the shape of a smile and watching sweaty men drink beer dressed as soda, all of Bossy’s blogger friends were off brokering their own Project Mom Casting entries and are no doubt this minute preparing for reality show greatness.
But Bossy will fight her negative imagination and dehypnotize herself from the false belief that she is two days too late — and in doing so she will describe what makes Bossy unique for the Project Mom Casting project:
Bossy is the wild-haired host of a virtual sitcom which examines everything under the sun and over the moon and includes dynamic characters such as her hot son and her lap pony and her rock star friends and a delightful one and a husband which may or may not be John Cusack.
And finally, Project Mom Casting requires that a photo accompany each entry:
Jean says
July 28, 2010 at 1:11 pmLate, schmate! Go for it.
Lina says
July 28, 2010 at 1:16 pmon the bright side, Bossy has a very cute tummy to look over as she lounges…
Melanie @ Mel, A Dramatic Mommy says
July 28, 2010 at 1:17 pmI can’t think of anything to say. The flatness of your stomach has left me speechless.
Kelly, The Glass Dragonfly says
July 28, 2010 at 1:19 pmIn my world deadlines are more of a suggestion! It would be their loss if they didn’t consider your “late” submission. Moms have lives after all!
vuboq says
July 28, 2010 at 1:21 pmIs there room in the sitcom for a quirky (yet, fabulous) gay? Because I know someone who would be perfect. No, David, it’s not you. Hint: It’s ME!
Here’s hoping they accept your late entry!
Lisa Paul says
July 28, 2010 at 1:24 pmIt’s a lot easier to make a mind-body connection with abs like Bossy’s. C’mon Project Mom, you can’t do better than Bossy. She brings the funny.
Not June Cleaver says
July 28, 2010 at 1:24 pmOf course they’ll accept it late! 🙂
WebSavvyMom says
July 28, 2010 at 1:31 pm–>Well, it could be worse. You could be late and 9 months from now have a different kind of gift.
Christina says
July 28, 2010 at 1:33 pmWith that belly button, you can be as late as you want!
BossysMom says
July 28, 2010 at 1:37 pmhi daughter and that is one dreadful looking book cover and camping looks delicious and kiss my granddaughter and hopefully they will know what they’re doing and will select you…
BossysMom says
July 28, 2010 at 1:41 pmAND..I keep looking at the flat-bellied sneeches with stars upon thars
as opposed to my
fat-bellied sneeches with scars upon thars….
Maggie says
July 28, 2010 at 1:42 pmMaybe a late entry puts you on the virtual “top of the pile.”
Manic Mommy says
July 28, 2010 at 1:48 pmI agree with Kelly. Being a mom = being late. Or at least a lot of running around and yelling to make “on time” possible. And a gay best friend is a definite for a sitcom/reality show.
Linda_M says
July 28, 2010 at 2:04 pmAll the good comments are already taken:-~. “They” would be stupid to not consider Bossy a prime candidate! I’d be tempted to say that’ a point of camping vacations is to disconnect for a while.
Carroll says
July 28, 2010 at 2:09 pmGo. Bossy!
And come on, commenters…if so many more scores of us can weigh in on Bossy’s son’s facial hair query, surely we can pour forth the numbers to support our girl here in her quest!
And, Bossy’s Mom! Your second comment there? Guffaw!!!!!
MidLifeMama says
July 28, 2010 at 2:10 pmHaving met you in person now, and confirming you are darling and adorable and about 7 feet tall I cannot hate you for such a delightfully flat stomach even after carrying two children. You obviously do not have the garden gnome DNA I do. Sigh.
Wellreadhostess says
July 28, 2010 at 2:29 pmDon’t forget about bossy’s posse of philly bloggrrrlss!! Comic relief! Sidekicks! Bowling! Fried potato products! And way cuter than any of them raggedy ass housewives!
Meg at the Members Lounge says
July 28, 2010 at 2:42 pmSurely the producers will know your loyal Council stretches from coast to coast? And they will already have the bonus footage of your No Book Tour to work with!
Lori says
July 28, 2010 at 2:55 pmThere is no reality without Bossy!
{choke me in the shallow water before I get too deep}
Heidi says
July 28, 2010 at 2:55 pmThe project would not be complete without Bossy.
Em says
July 28, 2010 at 3:44 pmI think they need to come peruse the glory of iambossy.com! Oh reality tv casting people? Hello?
Em says
July 28, 2010 at 3:45 pmAlso? There’s always http://www.realitytvcastingcall.com/.
Jenn @ Juggling LIfe says
July 28, 2010 at 3:57 pmI’m enjoying reading all the entries (yours is the best, of course) mostly because the whole thing is my worst nightmare.
sara says
July 28, 2010 at 4:20 pmOf course they’ll accept you late! The show hasn’t even started yet and you’re causing drama.
One word: RATINGS.
Reeb says
July 28, 2010 at 4:55 pmDid you get that book out of somebody’s garage sale junk box? Cause, honestly. (I agree with your graphics assessments, btw. Except the figure is a stalking alien rather than a model.)
If you get on the reality show of your dreams, I may have to finally get cable. Or wait for it to come out on netflix.
Susan says
July 28, 2010 at 7:54 pmNobody really gives a crap what a bunch of online moms have to say except for other online moms.
ann's rants says
July 28, 2010 at 8:01 pmI demand a recount! And also full access to Bossy’s accessories if we are forced to live in a BIG BLOG BRUTHA house together.
Peace out.
Maureen in IL says
July 29, 2010 at 12:48 amI’m sorry, who else would they consider? This show is your show. This must just be a formality. go Bossy go
yvonne nc says
July 29, 2010 at 8:08 amHow could they not consider you? if a mom isn’t late then is she a real mom ?
Jen says
July 29, 2010 at 8:27 amThey HAVE to put you on the show because I didn’t make it to the Houston leg of the No-Book Tour so my only option at seeing you “live” is on TV. Come on, producers, SURELY the date was a typo?
Neil says
July 29, 2010 at 10:13 amWere you like this in school, too? Always handing your homework assignments in two days late?
bossy's friend amy says
July 29, 2010 at 10:20 amwait, is that really bossy’s belly “in the sun”? i’ve never seen one of your body parts in the sunlight…
Stacey says
July 29, 2010 at 12:08 pmProject mom would be sorely missing out if they didn’t cast the fabulousness that is Bossy.
P.S. – I said it when I met you and I’ll say it again: how is it fair that you are so darn tiny. Flat belly and I had a parting of ways long ago. But I miss her.
Gail K. says
July 29, 2010 at 4:55 pmYou must enter and you must bring your little momma too! (That Sneeches quote had me rolling!)
You do keep it real – which, may, unfortunately not work in your favor as there is NOTHING real about reality TV, but I am behind you 400%!!
linlah says
July 29, 2010 at 11:54 pmUm, yeah, you’re bossy they’ll take you better late than never.
Kit says
July 30, 2010 at 11:13 amGo, Bossy, go! You’d be a riot. I hope they consider you!!
Meg T. says
July 30, 2010 at 11:48 amBossy brings the funny! I’d even watch my first realty show EVER for her…. (oh lordisa who am I kidding, I love that America’s Next Top Model)
Hamlet's Mistress says
July 30, 2010 at 11:56 amThey have to take you. You’ll be the one who feels all entitled because your late submission was accepted and everyone else will be all bitter because they know THEY wouldn’t have been accepted late. And they all keep talking about Sehmiha, the native American mom that they all bonded with the day before who was kicked out to make room for you… but slowly, overtime you’ll win them all over with your obvious charm… even Sehmiha, who will be present in the mom’s tell all segment before the winner is announced.
So yeah, they have to let you in.
Reeb says
July 30, 2010 at 12:32 pmIf the show has Sehmiha in the tell-all as WELL as Bossy and BossysMom, then I’m definitely watching it.
Sparx says
July 30, 2010 at 5:55 pmI like your view… and hey, every day is reality; who needs TV?
Birdbrain says
July 31, 2010 at 3:43 amShould Bossy’s council petition Project Mom to consider her late application?
sher says
July 31, 2010 at 11:39 ami’m still working out the whole flat belly thing. did you birth children through your nostrils? (seriously, yay for you! it gives me hope…)
bossy's friend martha says
August 1, 2010 at 2:38 pmAmy, I am sure she slathered on factor 1000 before exposing herself to the suns rays.