Only a few hours remain until tonight’s Academy Awards festivities, unless you live on the West Coast in which case you have a few hours longer to wait, or no, you watch at the same time but earlier, and what was Bossy saying?
Right! Time to review this year’s nominees for Best Picture! Which Bossy is uniquely qualified to do, having not seen the movies. Shall we?
First up is Inception. In this movie, which stars Leonardo DiCaprio, everyone stands on the glassy side of buildings. Except the women. They hang upside down.
Moving on:
Next up is The Social Network, which is yiddish for The Facebook Movie. In this movie, Facebook is invented. Oops! Bossy gave away the ending.
Next:
In this movie, Natalie Portman applies drastic makeup in order to become foul fowl.
Next!
The King’s Speech is about a King and a Queen so it will win. And the Best Special Effects award goes to Helena Bonham Carter for appearing matronly.
And now for the next nominee for Best Picture:
127 Hours is the story of a guy who sister mercy Bossy cannot even talk about it without breaking into a cold sweat.
Next up:
This movie is about a woman who doesn’t mind other guys dancing with his girl — it’s fine because she knows them all pretty well. And she knows sometimes she must get out in the light, and leave her behind with the kids, because the kids are alright.
And for our next nominee:
The Fighter is about… who cares? Because, lordy, Marky Mark without a shirt.
And then there’s True Winter’s Toy Bone Grit Story 3. Meh.
tina says
February 27, 2011 at 2:43 pmI am wondering what happened to Marky Mark’s third nipple??
Amanda in ATL says
February 27, 2011 at 2:44 pmYou had me at Marky Mark without a shirt – The Fighter wins!
KathyB says
February 27, 2011 at 2:45 pmNow I am ready. Thanks, Bossy. It does seem odd that all the stars are gussied up and walking the red carpet in the middle of the afternoon out there. Of course if it waited for night time in California, I’d be asleep. Love the last poster.
Bev says
February 27, 2011 at 2:49 pmYou are sooooo funny! Loved this post!!!
GrandeMocha says
February 27, 2011 at 2:55 pmThe important questions are: what will you wear, what will you eat & drink, & who is your date?
Texas Susan says
February 27, 2011 at 3:33 pmI’m rooting for “The King’s Speech” . . . awesome movie! I loved “Toy Story 3,” too, but I can’t imagine an animated movie winning as best picture (even if it was . . . I saw it once in the theater and three times via Netflix DVD). “The Social Network,” “The Fighter,” and “True Grit” also were good. Didn’t see the others. Love the Marky Mark photo!
meleah rebeccah says
February 27, 2011 at 5:36 pmI’m so hysterical laughing right now. Hilarious post Bossy!
Gail K says
February 27, 2011 at 6:32 pmWhew! All caught up now. And the winner is…Really, do we even care? No one cares which movie wins, everyone watches to see what people are wearing.
Personally, I would love it if everyone showed up in the clothes they would go to the movies in: jeans, t-shirt, possibly a hoodie, and sneakers. Pass the popcorn and uber-sized Cokes (forget the caviar and the trendy drink of the moment) and call it a Night at the Movies. The end.
Angela@beggingtheanswer says
February 28, 2011 at 9:26 amAwesome! Now I can continue not seeing these movies.
kate says
February 28, 2011 at 1:18 pmi never saw the fighter..(wait..out of all the movies nominated for stuff..i only saw the social network)…but marky mark got my vote too…he’s had my heart since the calvin klein campaign….
joeinvegas says
February 28, 2011 at 1:50 pmHelena Bonham Carter appearing semi-normal, yes, that deserves an award.
Aimee says
February 28, 2011 at 5:27 pmWow, I really need to see the Fighter. I have seen almost all of the movies nominated. But why not The Fighter? Also, Bossy did a great job explaining the movies. OMG why have I not seen The Fighter? Marky Mark XOXO!!!!!
foolery says
February 28, 2011 at 6:18 pmThe Oscars looked too painful so I read a fairy story to the kids. Which should indicate just how painful the Oscars looked.
High fives on your movie poster; you should make those instead of whomever they hired to do the one for “The King’s Speech.” Theirs makes the movie appear to be a madcap comedy.