Who remembers the bedtime story of Bossy’s Boyfriend jeans, hold the boyfriend?
For those of you who never heard the story, and for those of you who hate to follow links to other posts, like the one above, Bossy will tell you exactly what happened. Here’s what happened: follow this link.
It all began while Bossy was on her 2010 (No) Book Tour — specifically on the day Bossy was staying with her friend Wendy in Arizona –- because on that particular day, Bossy and her friend Wendy decided to go shopping, where shopping equals drink.
But after Bossy and her friend Wendy were properly lubricated, they fell into an adjacent shopping center, where Bossy and Wendy tried on the same pair of Boyfriend jeans. Well, they weren’t the very same pair of Boyfriend jeans, because that would have been something of a circus trick. But they were the same style of pant. Pants. Pant.
When Bossy’s friend Wendy emerged from the dressing room with her rejected Boyfriend jeans under her arm, Wendy said, “They fit weird.” That’s when Bossy said, “Mine fit weird too, but I like how they look all baggy in the front like they’re not my size.”
This would be considered Mistake Number One.
Because not only did those boyfriend jeans fit baggy in the front, they fit baggy in the rear. Baggy in the front is Madonna in the Papa Don’t Preach video. Baggy in the rear is the sound technician running cables on the shoot of the Papa Don’t Preach video.
Are we all clear on the difference?
Which is why Bossy posted photos of her Boyfriend jeans, and asked her esteemed council if she should return them. The answer was a resounding yes.
And so Bossy did what any responsible blogger would do who agreed with her readers. Bossy took those jeans, she threw them back in their shopping bag, she nestled the receipt next to those jeans, and then she promptly forgot about them.
This would be considered Mistake Number Two.
Bossy forgot about those jeans — until yesterday, that is, when Bossy collected that shopping bag containing those pants and that receipt and she scurried to her local mall to, finally, make the return.
That’s when the nice salesgirl informed Bossy the store has a two-month return policy, and — imagine the nerve — it has been two months since the purchase!
But luckily, the nice salesgirl informed Bossy it wasn’t too late to exchange the jeans for store credit!
Which is precisely when the nice salesgirl informed Bossy she’d only be able to credit the jeans for the lowest clearance price on the item.
As Bossy stood at the counter imagining all the different ways she would spend her store credit, eyeing up the flirty summer blouses and the dapper sailor shorts, the nice salesgirl cheerfully entered the Boyfriend jeans’ serial number into the register and announced exactly how much store credit Bossy would have:
And so Bossy tucked those jeans back into their shopping bag and took them home to live among the other items in Bossy’s closet which, when worn, turn Bossy instantly into a teamster.
Bossy can sum up her experience with her Boyfriend jeans store return that never happened in this way: Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid. Also dumb.
Which is what today’s Ten-Word Challenge is all about. In exactly ten words, can you tell Bossy about something you should return, but for whatever reason, don’t?
And be sure to check back later today for the least returned items on the web.