Today marks that innocent yet resplendent kid holiday, Halloween, in Bossy’s quiet East Coast village, so naturally Bossy was contacted by the California Poison Control System.
According to their poison education and emergency hotline network, there are ten things you should know before your children go trick-or-treating.
- Those glow in the dark sticks and jewelry that are purchased to keep kids visible while crossing the street can break open and accidentally get in the mouth and eyes and just oboy, okay?
- No treats should be eaten until they have been thoroughly inspected by an adult. A nice adult, not one of those adults out to poison children
- Allow only small amounts of candy to be ingested at a time since too much sugar causes stomach upset, and sugar substitutes can act as a laxative and please make it stop
- If your child brings home any unfamiliar candy throw it away. Then remove it from the trash once the kids are in bed and enjoy with a tumbler of gin
- Unwrapped candy should be discarded. Discarded down the esophagus of desperate moms
- Fruit should be cut open and inspected. And then tossed into the compost pile because who wants fruit on halloween?
- Homemade treats should be discarded. Because the old folks in the neighborhood love it when they bake all day just to end up down the kitchen disposal
- Torn packaging is a sign of tampering. In other news, torn packaging is a sign of tearing
- Small candy is a choking hazard
- The California Poison Control System is a choking hazard