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Ten-Word Tuesday — Fright Or Flight

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Bossy has been doing a lot of plane travel lately, which is known as flying. Last week it was Los Angeles for a conference, and this week it’s Las Vegas for let’s just say not a conference. This made Bossy reflect on her own history of flying.

When Bossy was a girl, she got all of her cues about how one should react to the notion of airplane travel by studying her mother. Naturally these lessons took place in the airport bar, where Bossy’s mother would plant herself a couple of hours before takeoff. In the very early hours of the morning.

It’s not that Bossy’s mom was afraid of flying. No. Bossy’s mom was afraid of dying. Situated in that airport bar, Bossy’s mom would repeat the mantra there’s no other way to get my ass to France while fretting that the enthusiastic efforts of the bartender would result in an infinitesimal slosh of wasted gin over the edge of her glass.

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It’s not that Bossy’s mom looked or acted scared once her airplane was in the sky. No. She just looked and acted as if she were already dead, her eyes clamped shut against the improbability that 187,000-pounds of aluminum could lift into the air.

It should surprise no one that Bossy inherited this fear of flying. “What’s that noise? What’s that noise? What’s that noise?” Bossy would ask in the general direction of anyone unfortunate enough to have purchased the seat next to hers.

One time Bossy admitted to her sister-in-law that Bossy didn’t like to fly. “You and every other control freak in the world,” Bossy’s sister-in-law said.

Meanwhile Bossy’s other sister-in-law is Japanese, and Bossy always thought there was truth in her sister-in-law’s pronunciation of flight attendant: Fright Attendant.

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Bossy’s father was much more practical in matters of air travel. “See that plane?” Bossy’s dad would say, pointing out of the family’s high rise window toward a flight pattern over the Delaware River. “How many planes do you see in five minutes along that very air path? How about in two hours? How about in a month, a year? And all of them are doing just what they’re supposed to do.”

Bossy assumed doing what they’re not supposed to do meant crashing.

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This cheered Bossy considerably, but it wasn’t until she rented the movie Pushing Tin, starring Bossy’s husband John Cusack that Bossy understood there are many variables connected with flying, and that many people — not just one pilot, one imagined very hungover pilot — are working together to control those variables.

In the movie, John Cusack plays an air traffic controller, and for some reason the idea that people sit in towers across the land guiding flashing shapes across screens made Bossy feel all kinds of better about planes.

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Bossy can describe her relaxed attitude toward flying now in this way: It’s a quiet place to think. Which is always good.

Which is what today’s Ten-Word Challenge is all about. In exactly ten words, can you tell Bossy about your attitude toward flying?

And be sure to check back later today for the best flying stories on the web.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  5. The planes are a whole lot safer than the passengers.*

    *When I was a kid I was terrified of flying. A family trip to Europe required Valium. Yes, Valium for a 12-year-old. My dad used to say the same thing Bossy’s dad said. About all the thousands of planes NOT crashing. Of the two, the Valium worked better. These days, I don’t worry much about the aircraft. I assume the crew and maintenance staff aren’t too hungover or fatigued and I let them do their job. My only concern is the other passengers. No, NOT terrorists. Just good ol’ fashioned American nutjobs, loudmouths, and people who bring stinky Sbarro meals onboard. Was once on a flight where a young guy bragged to a woman across the aisle about guns the whole way. Seems the TSA hasn’t learned how to screen for douche-rockets yet.

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  35. I don’t mind the flying, it’s the stupid security procedures to get in the darn plane. Then those itty bitty seats with no legroom and the big person next to you that spills over the armrest and hogs it and keeps getting up to go over you to the bathroom.

    What really disturbs me is Bossy coming to Las Vegas without telling me so I might finally get to meet her, since she avoided Vegas on her last two road trips. Sheesh

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  63. I was 10, when I flew for the first time. I was of course very excited. It did not turn out so well, since I puked after a few hours. Now I know what the bags are for!

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  72. Being confined in a germ filled metal tube with strangers and paying $10 for a soft drink….I would rather drive thankyou very much. If I HAD to fly I would be visiting my doctor for a perscription of valium before I would set foot inside a plane.

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  96. I’m proud of Bossy. I hate flying. I start feeling queasy if I have to look at purchasing tickets online. Then I decide that train travel is a really nostalgic way to travel and so much cheaper and doesn’t usually require body cavity searches. I mean, they bring your baggage out on a cart with wooden wheels.

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