A Very 4th Of July

What have we here, you may be asking — and why the scattering of audience? Why it’s the annual Independence Day fire safety enactment in Bossy’s neighborhood, where the local fire department demonstrates how to set fire to your house what to do in case of a fire emergency.

Before we begin, Bossy would like to tell you a few facts about the scattering of audience.

Without further delay, let’s return to the fire department demonstration. Shall we begin? First some pointing happens. Nearly an hour of pointing while the scattering of audience plus heaps more audience acquires heat stroke and dies.

Next the fire department purchases a brother and sister to place in the burning building, and then they hose down the walls with lighter fluid:

Then the fire department guys step away from the stage set and the cheerful brother and sister happily climb into their twin bed together, much as they would do at home.

Next the brother and sister decide to plug their new high-definition television set into a frayed extension cord which they place under the tattered rug where it can be stepped on for all eternity. Don’t do it brother and sister!

And then, owing to the frayed extension cord and the tattered rug and the detonation button located ten yards to the right, this happens:

Do the brother and sister make it out alive? Before Bossy continues, she will now give her council the same quiz the fire department gave the scattering of audience with audience with heat stroke:

1. What is the first thing you should do when you smell smoke?

   Wrong! You touch the door handle to see if it’s hot.

2. If the door handle is not hot, what is the next thing you do?

   Wrong! You drop to all fours and crawl out of the room.

3. What do you do if the door handle is hot?

   Who in hellville knows, the fire department forgot to include that question. Ah well, it’s probably not that important.

Meanwhile, Bossy doesn’t want to keep you in suspense a second longer regarding the outcome of the brother and the sister and the frayed and the tattered! Here’s exactly what happened:

And then something, let’s just say interesting, happened:

And just when Bossy thought all of the smoke had cleared and it was safe to walk forward and steal the cute wicker chair for her screened-in porch, this happened:

But fear not, for this is when the fire truck materialized to save the day!

With just a small gargantuan effort, the fire was extinguished in no time:

And finally, the three heroic fire fighters perform an overhaul, which means to prod and disassemble all of the room’s contents to make certain there are no smoldering remains.

This post was originally from July 2009. To see what else Bossy was up to in July 2009, click here.