Recently a friend suggested Bossy join Tinder, a dating app that lives on your phone.
Here’s how it works: When you open a Tinder profile, that profile is allowed access to certain elements of your Facebook page, for instance all of it. That means Tinder uses the Facebook profile photos you select, and Tinder is allowed to see your Facebook friends and interests.
Next you write yourself a tagline, and select the distance and age range you are willing to consider. For instance, Bossy quickly realized she needed to advance her distance range from twenty miles outside of Philadelphia to something approaching Jupiter.
Then, based on your criteria, Tinder recommends people who stack like playing cards on your iPhone screen, giving you the option to either like or reject them. It’s based on a blind match, meaning you never know who likes you until you select them. It is also based on a blind match in the sense it helps if at least one of you is blind.
For instance, meet
Johnnie Cochran Stanley.
If you press the green heart, Stanley is categorized as liked. If you press the X, the word nope is rubber stamped across his profile. If you would like more information, you can press the little blue i which allows you to see the person’s tagline, such as, “Arnold Palmers are my favorite drink and I hate cats.”
But perhaps the most fascinating element of Tinder is the fact you can see if you have any shared friends or shared interests, and who and what they are, which helps you vet your prospects.
After a brief time spent on Tinder, where brief equals a sister got carpal tunnel syndrome rejecting her fellow Tindergartners, Bossy has compiled the following list of reasons to hit Nope:
- Your Teacup Yorkie
- Your sunglasses propped in your baseball hat
- Your sinister anime profile photo
- Your quote: Do not fault me for my excess
- Your Super Bowl ring
- Your fishing vest
- Your use of Pierce Brosnan’s photo as your own
- Your vinyl siding
- Your girlfriend. In the photo. With you
- Your messy house behind your head
- Your description of your journey
- Your emoticons
If you enjoyed this post about dating, click here to read about the time a friend of Bossy’s caught another friend… oh just read it.
Or click this link to read about Bossy’s crush on Match Game’s Gene Rayburn.
Or read this post from years ago about the time The Bossy family played a board game and nearly murdered each other.