Ever see someone and think, You are either homeless or a billionaire? Such was the case yesterday in a Dallas Borders where Bossy encountered this gentleman. In reality, Bossy didn’t so much encounter him as sit next to him so she could sneak photos of his get-up. Do the kids still say get-up?
Evidence A in the case Homeless Man Or Billionaire is the rug. The industrial berber he wore on his head:
Evidence B is the hat, which was actually much greener in person and was made of felt. Like maybe he found it in the dumpster behind a Middle School following a production of Peter Pan.
The next item in question were his boots, which required great care when walking as they appeared to be a few sizes too large. And finally was the little matter of how all the books he collected to read and scribble notes about were travel guides to China. It’s not the travel guides to China themselves that were odd, but the fact these books were apparently so entertaining as to warrant grunts and guffaws at random intervals:
Of course, the Homeless Man v. Millionaire probably wasn’t chuckling over his China guides at all, but rather speculating on whether Bossy was homeless or perhaps a recently released lunatic who decided driving 12,000 miles in six weeks would be a hoot:
Speaking of Bossy’s 12,000 mile, six week (No) Book Tour, the reason Bossy was in a Borders store in Dallas was to hold another (No) book signing! And once again Bossy was sobered by the number of people (Not) showing up!
In addition, Bossy was in the Borders was to meet with her good friend Seattle’s Best Coffee, but you can call them Seattle’s Best Coffee.
And Bossy needed coffee yesterday due to a little something Bossy likes to call The Gang in Little Rock:
In attendance was Bossy’s hostess Amy B, Kat, Kerri, Sarabeth, Jolly Good Gal, and Jobeth (whose link won’t work at the moment, hi Jobeth, resend!)
And Bossy dined with these bloggers on an outdoor patio and then retired to her hostess’ house — and here Bossy should confess she had never met her hostess before and in fact her hostess took Bossy in as a favor to a friend and was all Bossy what and Bossy who, but now Bossy and her hostess are engaged. Congratulations Bossy!
Another reason Bossy was drinking Seattle’s Best Coffee at Borders is because she knew she was going to have a fun time last night in Dallas. Bossy’s Dallas hostess threw a party for Bossy in the church she renovated with her daughter, and now uses as a residence and cultural arts center.
And soon Bossy will tell you all about this Dallas get-together and the amazing church where Gah is in the details:
vuboq says
April 13, 2010 at 8:37 amOnce again, BOSSY proves she has the Best Looking Readers EVER! Can’t wait to read about the Dallas meet-up!
heidi says
April 13, 2010 at 8:55 amGreen hat man looks like a mann-equin. Scary!
muskrat says
April 13, 2010 at 9:08 amThey have the internet in Arkansas? Now I’ve positively heard IT ALL.
Suzanne says
April 13, 2010 at 9:12 amOk, Borders man is a littel scary. BUT! The Church is AMAZING! I would love to do that.
Hope you got pictures and I hope that you’re still having fun!
km says
April 13, 2010 at 10:03 amA pub in the middle of nowhere Ireland. A strange man stared out the window for the guts of 30 minutes, smiled, and wrote a single word on a piece of paper.
The post-bingo ladies confidently declared him “A Poet”, and went back immediately to their storytelling.
That’s why I like going home.
middle-aged-woman says
April 13, 2010 at 10:23 amYou’re driving with a manufacturer’s plate, so people probably wonder what you are doing out for a test drive in the middle of Gah-knows-where. Also, Ford is (very proudly) in Dearborn! I can’t wait until you see the Ford Kingdom.
Jennatjugglinglife says
April 13, 2010 at 10:29 amI suspect Dallas will never be the same.
Jason says
April 13, 2010 at 10:59 amAnd I can see that everything is going just as BOSSY planned. Very good. You may continue.
Half Assed Kitchen says
April 13, 2010 at 11:20 amMental illness comes to mind. Not Bossy, but the guy with the felt hat.
operagal says
April 13, 2010 at 11:21 amBOSSY – be careful saying you are from the D – usually the next question someone asks is “do you own a gun?”
then again, you were in TX, where gun ownership is a birthright.
Dawn in Austin says
April 13, 2010 at 11:21 amIn the first picture, the guy sitting against the wall is totally staring at you. He’s thinking to himself “Is that Bossy?? Of the I am Bossy fame? oooooh”
Dawn in Austin says
April 13, 2010 at 11:22 amP.S. Millionaire. I’ve heard they all look like that in Dallas.
corrie says
April 13, 2010 at 11:40 am“where Gah is in the details” … never truer words written
SALLIE(FULLTIME-LIFE) says
April 13, 2010 at 11:45 amgotta go to Marfa — look for the alien lights ! I expect pictures! that whole area is some of the strangest country you’ll ever encounter — you should love it ;>)
Know it All says
April 13, 2010 at 12:14 pmGo Debbie (Ooops I mean Bossy…) Never been to Dallas but it sure looks fun!
Bri says
April 13, 2010 at 12:32 pmOh I need that hipstamatic app.
Lisa says
April 13, 2010 at 1:42 pmI’m loving your trip and CAN NOT WAIT until you get to Phoenix.
I’m selfishly hoping nobody shows up at that particular (no) book signing so I can have Bossy all to myself and become her newest new best friend. Is that wrong?
foolery says
April 13, 2010 at 1:42 pmI want his hat. I would, of course, steam clean it before wearing it, but I want it.
Jeebus, BOSSY, are you recruiting for a “Real Housewives of the South” show or something? Another group of fab-looking readers!
Lisa says
April 13, 2010 at 1:44 pmAnd, oops, I called it a signing instead of a tour.
Eric Graham says
April 13, 2010 at 1:48 pmBossy – I just responded to your craigslist post for a shooter in Austin. Please have whoever is handling your scheduling contact me ASAP to discuss details/logistics. Looking forward to meeting you. Should be fun.
amber star says
April 13, 2010 at 1:49 pmDear Bossy,
Pyewacket Cat and I had a wonderful time last night in the church and in your company. I suppose you can blackmail me forever with that picture that looks like I’m Mrs. Mole, but bear in mind we are from Texas, my cousin lived in Alaska for years out in the wilderness dry cabin, and many Texans do carry guns. *angelic smile* Pye and I decided not to show up packin’ last night.
You know…that was the first question the Canadian government asked when we came off the ferry to enter their fair country. “Where are your guns?” I told him they were in Texas where they belonged! We were on vacation.
Thanks for coming to our state to visit with us. We will return the favor soon.
ps-I don’t know what hipstamatic app is, but an antihistamine would be welcom today. Oy! The pollen! And I’m not even going to tell you about our journey home last night. Good thing neither of us drank anything. :o)
amber star says
April 13, 2010 at 1:53 pmActually I do know how to make felt, but I’m doubting that guy’s had is felted. I need to work on a post about how to felt knitted yarn. Cowboy hats are another whole story that is engrossing.
APeetsMom says
April 13, 2010 at 3:53 pmYes indeed – those Little Rock gang members have some spiffy glasses! I will have to sport mine when you get to So Cal! Laughing at your homeless dude narrative – but guffawed at you in the bathroom speculating on his blog! Drive safe – see you soon!
The Cheap Chick says
April 13, 2010 at 3:58 pmOnly Bossy could look cute in sleep-shorts over leggings. And you do. Travel safe!!! And stay away from the rug-wearing, cheap-hat-doning, China-book-reading weirdos out there!
Reeb says
April 13, 2010 at 4:34 pmWhy does the church-turned-cultural-arts-center photo look like it’s straight out of my grandmother’s 1950s album of her Baptist church in Lubbock, TX? Not sure what part of that question I’m really asking. Why’s the photo look so old and faded?
And why are all Bossy’s peeps in Little Rock ?
And why are you appearing in public wearing your jammies?
So many questions, from somebody who’s jealous she’s not there.
bossy's friend amy says
April 13, 2010 at 4:39 pmhomeless dude looks like the priest from the exorcist.
Doug says
April 13, 2010 at 6:05 pmMillionaires don’t put ten tons of crap in their blazer pockets. I think you snared a wack-job….you were packing, I hope.
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
April 13, 2010 at 9:44 pmThe Official Tally of Bossy’s Road Trip Husbands, Which Includes Casual Engagements in Little Rock:
1. DC Cameraman
2. Harrison Ford
3. Holiday Inn Express
4. Bossy’s Little Rock Hostess
5. I need to check yesterday’s post to see if I missed anyone, and I probably did because being Bossy’s Official Husband Tallyer is like one person trying to tally up all the hamburgers McDonalds sells in one day– while sitting in Burger King’s headquarters wearing a blind fold.
Cupcake Murphy says
April 13, 2010 at 10:17 pmThat Billionnnnaaaaaiiirrrreee (I threw in extra letters; unsure of spelling) vs Homeless Tale had me howling like a coyote. SO FUNNY. I think he’s homeless BY CHOICE because he’s insane. Like, what’s so funny about China? I rest my case.
GrandeMocha says
April 13, 2010 at 11:05 pmI tell people I’m from Detroit when I’m trying to act tough. EVERYONE on the planet has heard stories about the D and knows not to mess with us. And yes they usually do ask if I have a gun. I moved to the burbs in 1997.
Biddy says
April 13, 2010 at 11:55 pmDallas was the greatest slumber party ever
so glad I got to spend a little time with you this morning (gah, was that only this morning?) before you and harrison ford took off. love ya!!
Amy B. says
April 14, 2010 at 10:14 amI’m so happy to hear that we’re engaged. Hooray! Does this mean we get to register for gifts and make people throw parties for us and buy us new dishes and stuff? If so, that’s awesome.
joeinvegas says
April 14, 2010 at 11:33 amBossy in the mirror – too thin, start eating more muffins with that coffee girl. No wonder he was looking at you out the corner of his eye hot stuff.
More Strawberry says
April 14, 2010 at 4:05 pmBossy always comes up with the best descriptions of EXACTLY what is happening. OF COURSE there was some confusion about this homeless v. billionaire man.
Gail K. says
April 14, 2010 at 4:20 pmChesapeake Bay Woman you crack me up! And I totally agree you have a difficult job tracking all those husbands and other engagements that follow Bossy around as if she were the “Pied Piper of Seattle’s Best Coffee.”
Keep it up! I can’t wait to see the final tally!! (Maybe we could get you a tote board and Jerry Lewis to announce the numbers for you)
Neil says
April 14, 2010 at 6:22 pmThat guy: Definitely a billionaire. You: a blogger.
meleah rebeccah says
April 14, 2010 at 7:29 pmIm totally fascinated with the homeless / billionaire man!
JoBeth / Boots says
April 14, 2010 at 7:55 pmMy, we do have great shades in LR. Great to meet you. As for the billionaire – I kinda think that’s my uncle that went into witness protection. I wondered where he ended up
As for the Ill fitting boots = Totally hip….remember my killer-rad ONE I wore sunday? as for my link http://www.bootsmcblog.com Best to ya!
sevedra says
April 15, 2010 at 7:12 amI finally got all the bloggers listed and linked on my blog, from Friday night in Atlanta. We had a wonderful time!
Everyone should read the blogs of the folks from Atlanta!
http://wimbittworld.wordpress.com/2010/04/15/bossys-bloggers/
La Suzette says
April 15, 2010 at 3:04 pmWhy hasn’t there been an update for two days? Trying to live vicariously through all the lucky folks on the non-tour. Feeling abandoned!