Meet Chemistry.com. This new subsidiary website of Match.com is designed specifically for people seeking meaningful long-term relationships. Because Match.com’s unmeaningful short-term relationships are so May 28th.
Chemistry.com recognizes that a significant component in a relationship
is er chemistry. Therefore Chemistry.com’s unique Personality Profile captures each member’s essential truths and goals utilizing insightful questions such as this:
In addition the website offers a wealth of educational material so their clients can better understand the sparks that pass between mates. The following are Chemistry.com’s Seven Signs that you have met your match:
- You turn into a total klutz. Of course this has nothing to do with the extra Darvon you popped while watching your date try to park his Chrysler LeBaron.
- You notice a tiny dent in your date’s pinkie nail. Not even the least bit a sign that you are Anal Retentive.
- You agree to split the spinach dip appetizer—and you don’t even like spinach dip! There you go asserting yourself from the beginning. Cheers, you.
- The room you’re in seems brighter than usual. Is in no way related to the fact that your first date is taking place in the cafeteria section of Whole Foods.
- You’re more fidgety during the date. Gee, time for another Darvon? Already?
- You keep forgetting there’s food on the table. Also keep forgetting you have Early Alzheimer’s. Must make appointment. For what?
- You feel more “familiar” with your date than “lusty”. Greatest sign because Bossy never associates the word “chemistry” with “lust”.
Chemistry.com also offers various suggestions so their clients can shed surface concerns in order to better establish relationships based on communication and companionship — for instance the following tips for taking a better Client Profile photo:
If you are not extra lean and muscular, keep your shirt on.
Don’t have an arm slung around someone else’s waist.
Don’t stand in front of a picture of a yacht—unless it’s yours.
Your close up should actually be close up.
Don’t let ’em see the red of your eyes.
A crooked photo creates a crooked neck and nothing more.
Do not show all of your tattoos.
A look that screams come-hither might make your profile wither.
Smile… if you have your front teeth.
Don’t wear an outfit two sizes too small.
Wearing shades doesn’t show off the sparkle in your baby blues.
Blowing a kiss at the camera could blow your chances instead.
Nix the group shot; you’re the star here.
Don’t make your funny face or scrunch up your nose.
Lose the cowboy hat; let her see your beautiful bald head.
Muscle shirt, no—unless you actually have them.
Avoid side views unless your side is actually viewable.
Don’t chop off your head or cut off your midsection.
Letting it all hang out is out.
Adjust the color and resolution, cut, rotate, size adjus.
If the photo is not quite to your liking, snap a few more.
A ‘Thinker’ pose in a bathrobe… what were you thinking?
A cigarette in one hand and a drink in the other signals a dead end.
Be in a good mood; the camera will capture your perkiness.
Primp, be stylish, casual, off beat, be yourself, be perky—a presentation worthy of many admirers.