Kohls joined the ranks of H&M and Target this month when the discount chain teamed with high-end fashion designer Vera Wang to launch her new mid-brow line, Simply Vera.
In a trend known as Mass-tige, designers aim to deliver prestige to the masses at an affordable cost. And Bossy can’t wait because she
has never loves spending $48 for a bridal gown t-shirt. Let’s begin.
This first look is comprised of the Simply Vera Vera Wang Ruffle Blouse paired with the Simply Vera Vera Wang Pleated Pocket Skirt. Total cost? $122.
Next we have the Simply Vera Vera Wang Plaid Ruffle Top with decorative keyhole accent and tie closure. Orig $58.
Our next item is the Simply Vera Bossy is throwing up now Vera Wang Jacquard Bubble Skirt. Rod sold separately. Orig $98.
The Simply Vera Vera Wang line also features darling accessories, such as the following dip-dyed charmer:
And for those of you with bloody stump feet, Simply Vera Vera Wang is proud to offer the following toeless stockings:
But that’s not all. What outfit would be complete without the shoes, for instance Simply Vera Vera Wang’s Bisque Pumps. Orig. $69.99
And for the chillier months, how about Simply Vera Vera Wang’s Brie Leather Boots. Orig. $129.99. And guess what? Still $129.99.
There Are Some Cute Things Here But Lordy It’s Not Cheap. And The Store Smells Like Melted Peanut Cheese.
shayera saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 10:15 am
I would throw all those back.
Except for the pumps. I would totally buy those.
And then completely not be able to wear them.
You can call me, 'Sir' saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 10:25 am
moi saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 10:26 am
Loves me the boots. Hates me just about all the rest of it. When, oh lawd when, will the bubble hem and the tunic top go out of fashion? Moi’s pear shape hasn’t been happy about it for over two seasons now.
The Domestic Goddess saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 10:32 am
Ugh. I was in there the other day and saw that collection. It ain’t pretty. It’s…frumpy. And looks ridiculous on the average person! And nothing was under $100! I did see one cute tweed skirt, happily snatched it up, turned over the price tag and…$109. OMFG.
The boots are cool. The rest I’d send to Goodwill. ‘Cept they wouldn’t want it either.
JamesMommy saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 10:37 am
Oh Dear Lord…the Liberty Bell cozy. Too funny.
vuboq saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 10:49 am
actually a fingerless-gloves-scarf isn’t a bad idea! i might have to knit myself one this winter. ha!
Kristin saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 10:51 am
LOVE the Liberty Bell cozy!!!! Still rolling in laughter….
Teryn saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 10:51 am
Ummmm … that bubble skirt has left me speechless. And a little sick to my stomach.
soNOTcool saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 10:59 am
My daughtger and I will be fighting over the gloves. Without fingers. Because they are great for taking photos in the winter, especially if I have on a short-sleeve shirt and don’t want to wear a jacket. Ahem.
amyp saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 11:06 am
I agree with EVERYTHING you’ve written. …Well, I don’t know about peanut cheese, but as I scrolled down, I thought – but the boots aren’t bad – and you were there!!!
Besides socks for my husband, Kohl’s never, NEVER fails to disappoint me. I found a cute pair of shoes there in 2005, so I return for fresh punishment every few months – it can’t be as bad as I remember – but it is – consistently.
Nancy saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 11:18 am
A marketing genius!
I clicked your link to the other “Simply Vera Wang” runway show and I see a white bowed chair cover has been converted to a poplin wrap top. Crafty!
NotSoSage saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 11:18 am
Seriously? Why is faux pregnancy the look of the season? I look pregnant enough without help from my clothes, thank you very much.
the frogster saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 11:21 am
I love Melted Peanut Cheese.
joeinvegas saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 11:24 am
But, is it an extension of the line, and is Simply Vera Vera Wang Peanut Cheese? Can you get that in other colors?
orangeblossoms saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 11:29 am
That poor Liberty Bell! Whatever did she wear before Vera….
MammaLoves saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 12:03 pm
I will NEVAH get the bubble skirt. Is that flattering on anyone?
Hilary saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 12:07 pm
Vera, vera amusing! 🙂
PunditMom saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 12:13 pm
Maybe the bubble skirt and the Liberty Bell cozy together! Now THAT would be slimming!
madmad saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 12:16 pm
I didn’t know it could get better than that Libery Bell cozy… and then I saw the mauve option for the skirt. OMG. What a great laugh!
maggie saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 12:37 pm
If you pair the liberty bell cozy with the bubble skirt…no, I can’t think about it.
Rosie saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 1:33 pm
Like the gloves, love the boots, have the skirt hanging in my kitchen.
Vera hates the poor.
Dawn saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 1:39 pm
There are also Vera Wang mattresses, they are quilted and sparkly. Which is great if you know, never use a mattress pad or sheets.
Andrea saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 1:56 pm
Denim bubble skirt. Denim. Bubble. Skirt.
All it needs is for it to be acid washed worn a brightly colored geometric Esprit sweater and a big ass clip on bow and it would be my favorite outfit from 6th grad.
Ava saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 2:08 pm
I’m with you! I love the boots! Seriously a denim bubble skirt, bleecchh.
Kevin Wolf saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 2:17 pm
I love your graphics. They make the funny funnier.
Vera’s clothes? Not so much.
Mrs. Chicky saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 2:18 pm
I don’t think even Minnie would wear those shoes. And the bubble skirt makes me think of puff pastry. I wonder what it would taste like baked around peanut cheese?
mothergoosemouse saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 2:59 pm
Vera Wang. How the hell did someone with that name get to be a couture designer anyway?
S. saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 3:23 pm
It looks like crap in the advert and IRL.
Noelle saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 3:30 pm
Do they not get that the thrifty may also not look and dress like models? I do love my designer skirt from Target, but I don’t think I’m making the trip to peanut cheesy Kohl’s for these items.
Oonsky saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 3:32 pm
you are simply brilliant and the funniest person on earth!
my minivan is faster than yours saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 3:41 pm
NOW what am I supposed to wear to the prom Saturday night? Ugh!
Melissa in NZ saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 3:46 pm
Bossy is the last word in fashion advice.
“Minnie Mouse called …” Hahahahahaha!!!
Chuckles saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 3:48 pm
I read the shoe thing and I thought it said, “Bisque Pimps”.
I need help.
Oh, The Joys saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 4:13 pm
bossy is now and forever my fashion advisor.
(Really, really funny, G.)
Sassy saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 4:46 pm
I think I’d twist an ankle, fall into a manhole and die if I tried walking iin those boots.
wendi aarons saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 4:52 pm
I think the reason everyone is confused is they think this is the Vera who does the couture bridal gowns. Actually, these clothes are designed by Vera, the waitress from “Alice”. You’ll believe me when the “Kiss My Grits” skorts come out.
Jayne saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 5:06 pm
The “Liberty Bell Cosy” is my favourite. I want one, even though I don’t have a libery bell. I *am* roughly shaped like one though, but I don’t think I want to enhance that look any further.
Great post… faved it on StumbleUpon!
Jayne saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 5:07 pm
oh by the way, I just went to add you to my technorati list, and your button icon still faves the ‘typepad’ site. Just thought you’d want to know.
Mendacious D saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 6:09 pm
Bisque? Well, the design did look a bit strained…
Mr Farty saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 6:32 pm
i am bossy Tank Top orig. $15.99
You are way underpriced.
Suzi saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 6:41 pm
Bossy and all her commenting friends are just too funny. If I give a fashion show, will you all come and be commentators? I will serve peanut cheese. Be honest,now.
Jacquelyn saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 7:07 pm
Wow – I saw you got mentioned on Gene Weingarten’s chat on the Washington Post online. Congrats!
Manic Mommy saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 7:25 pm
She makes Vera Wang Mattresses too – they’re like $3,500.00 and located right next to the Jaqueline Smith mattress collection at Sleepy’s. I’m not making this shit up:
Me thinks Vera’s needs to support her drug habit. Crack is whack!
surcie saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 7:36 pm
Knitted beanies. Oh, gyah.
Erin saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 8:46 pm
I was there today and saw the collection. It looked…frumpy. Frumpy and gray and boring. I wasn’t even motivated to pick up a single piece, but if I had and seen the prices? Nuh-UH.
And why is Every. Single. Shirt. in Kohl’s this season designed to hide an unplanned pregnancy? I know someone upthread mentioned it already, but it’s fricking *ridiculous*.
Bottom line, I always, always, end up going back to Target. Cute, cheap, and fashionable without being ridiculous. Well, usually.
Have The T-shirt saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 9:09 pm
When I say this Vera Wang line, I puked in my mouth a bit, but I do like those black boots.
As usual, you crack me up 🙂
Have The T-shirt saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 9:09 pm
SAW not say…sheesh
Sueb0b saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 9:25 pm
The liberty bell, the gathered curtains…priceless.
Kelly saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 9:36 pm
You crack me the hell up… keep it up… (I like Minnie Mouse’s shoes!! heheh)
Girl con Queso saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 10:26 pm
Okay, I kinda liked the Liberty Bell cozy. I’m so Betsy Ross like that.
superblondgirl saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 10:28 pm
Kohl’s has good sales, though. And when the Vera is Simply Over, it will all go on sale. And then I will swoop in like a vulture, because the bridal-gown priced T-shirts? I have tried one on, and they are soft.
Miz Booshay saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 10:37 pm
It’s a conspiracy.
Vera wants all the poor folk who live outside of Manhattan to look hideous.
She is saving the good stuff for the never too rich, never too thin, set.
Heather B. saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 10:57 pm
I have a long standing boycott towards Kohl’s, so that saves me from the cheese smell and cleverly disguised ‘mass-tige’ clothing.
A from TX saysSeptember 12, 2007 at 11:23 pm
If I wanted to spend that much on ‘trendy’ clothes, I certainly would not do it at Kohls!
Did you know Vera Wang also has a line of mattresses?
She must be saving for retirement.
OMSH saysSeptember 13, 2007 at 1:25 am
I’m sick as a dog and yet the “Vera Wang Jacquard Bubble Skirt” got me laughing so hard I’m WHEEZING now.
Available in mauve!
Oh how I hated those bubble curtains THEN. I would NEVER wear it on my body. Geez.
Gloria saysSeptember 13, 2007 at 6:16 am
Because I can’t afford real Vera Wang, I’ll just have to raid grandma’s closet for the first look.
I think I dressed my dog once with the second one, for a fancy dog dress contest.
I didn’t know my curtain was haute couture. Neither did I know redneck gloves are in style.
I’m such a fashion dummo.
JChevais saysSeptember 13, 2007 at 6:47 am
Ugh. I wasn’t too thrilled by the Madonna collection at H&M either. For crying out loud, how can anyone take anyone in track suits seriously?
Linda Jenkinson saysSeptember 13, 2007 at 9:02 am
Send me a catalog puh-lease…. but only if you do the descriptions!
Linda saysSeptember 13, 2007 at 9:24 am
What the hell is Peanut cheese?
Tammy saysSeptember 13, 2007 at 9:55 am
Hilarious! Students are walking by my office wondering why I’m in here alone..laughing my ass off.
Jen M saysSeptember 13, 2007 at 10:57 am
We happen to have a Kohl’s where I live, but I have a philosophical problem with stores that use flourescent lighting. Can’t they just put in some track lighting?
I may have to return to verify if mine indeed has the same unique smell.
Lori saysSeptember 13, 2007 at 11:54 am
Thanks for saving me a trip to the peanut cheese store.
FENICLE saysSeptember 13, 2007 at 5:28 pm
Where my friend do you find all this??
I love the original price and that they are still the same price!!
Vera Wrong saysSeptember 13, 2007 at 8:00 pm
All good points, but I think the Bubble Skirt alone could be its own post. Read the details and weep:
Floral jacquard pattern flows with ladylike attitude.
Bubble cut, pleated accents and gathered detailing around the hem add a fabulous, full look.
Hidden side zipper provides easy wear.
The words “jacquard” and “ladylike attitude” have a definite AARP ring. It sounds like something Barbara Bush might wear.
And what woman wants “a fabulous, full look” from the waist down?
Last but not least, since when is a hidden zipper in a slightly deflated hindenberg-sized punching balloon needed to “provide easy wear”? You could store the contents of a 22″ carry-on suitcase in the hem!!!
Seriously, this is material for a month of laughter at Vera’s expense. I could feel sorry for her if it wasn’t so damn expensive! At $68 (on sale, no less) I think she is getting the last laugh.
LOVE your site, BTW!
Her Grace saysSeptember 13, 2007 at 10:13 pm
I’m sorta glad I can’t afford new clothes this year.
qt saysSeptember 17, 2007 at 1:28 pm
Oh my – melted peanut cheese was the best thing on the page…seriously!
Grandma J saysFebruary 18, 2008 at 10:35 am
Those bisque pumps look a lot like the ones Bossy’s grandma Bert is wearing in the picture where she’s posing by the racecar.
It is obvious that the hat she’s wearing is not a Vera Wang.
corrin saysFebruary 19, 2012 at 6:03 pm
Hey…I have that Liberty Bell Cozy shirt. Five years later, and I still wear it.