And for once Bossy isn’t talking about the elections. She is referring to the winner of the Name That Spread contest:
Bossy is particularly excited about the results of this contest because Tempered Woman stretched the dip photo in some sort of computer paint program and that’s when she spied the capers sitting behind the dip and therefore guessed Smoked Salmon spread, which is so cute and reminds Bossy to never again post a photo of anything in Bossy’s house.
Other honorable mentions go out to Sister Honey Bunch and we be toys and
Amy W and Flea and Rusalina and Mary Gese and especially Peg who said, “Lord if I win, whatever you do, do not send me any more junk from your basement.” Bossy has the most thoughtful
Also? A big shout-out to Anne Nahm who didn’t just guess it was salmon spread but guessed it was the Barefoot Contessa’s salmon spread—which it is.
And here is the exact Ina Garten recipe: you take some cream cheese and add something else, and then lemon and dill and then talk about your husband Jeffrey, and then add one other thing while your gay friend strings lights in the garden, then you mix that with some chopped smoked salmon while sucking air through your teeth at the mere mention of sour cream. Delish.
Next Bossy wants to talk about Oprah:
Who else watched Oprah yesterday when Dr. Oz revealed the solution to insomnia? Dr. Oz says that our lack of sleep, “strips years off of our real age,”—not to be confused with our pretend age, which is:
But Bossy doesn’t understand why Dr. Oz is making all the fuss because isn’t years stripped from our age a good thing? It’s years stripped from our life that isn’t so swell. Anyway. And so Dr. Oz revealed the secret to beating insomnia and that secret is: Drift into sleep.
Gah, why didn’t someone tell Bossy that years ago? And all this time she thought the secret to sleep is remaining awake!
And speaking of secrets, Bossy can’t wait because today’s Oprah show is the secret behind the Secret. Last year Bossy wrote about the secret secret behind the Secret and it involves placing an order for a man with an enormous pickle—if you missed it now’s your chance!