Do you remember Bossy’s old pal Lindsay Lohan? Well, yesterday she released a dance tune called Bossy, which makes all kinds of sense because apparently Lindsay Lohan didn’t receive the friendly memo from the real Bossy, and that friendly memo went like this:
Because Bossy likes it when the word bossy belongs to Bossy:
For instance, if you Google the word bossy and hit I’m Feeling Lucky, you will end up right back here, maybe even simmering in a vat of broccoli casserole:
When Lindsay Lohan carelessly sings, “I’m just a little Bossy,” she doesn’t understand that i am bossy isn’t just a state of mind, it’s a brand—even if that brand is insomnia slathered in firming serum rinsed with heart palpitations.
Lindsay Lohan’s song threatens to wreck Bossy’s Google recognition, and therefore Bossy is not a happy camper. Do you know what it looks like when Bossy is not a happy camper? It looks a lot like this:
And this:
And this:
And here are other random unhappy campers:
Asthmagirl says
May 8, 2008 at 12:59 pmMr. Bossy is the happiest looking camper I have ever seen.
I would look like Bossy if I hadn’t washed my hair in a week. I would never look like Lindsey Lohan.
Eek!
Aimee says
May 8, 2008 at 1:11 pmYou can take her…especially if she’s drunk. And then it will be all over the papers, “Bossy gives Lindsay the smack down!” Yup, I’m saying show her who’s Bossy!
Say What? says
May 8, 2008 at 1:14 pmOk, the Lohan needs to be stopped! She can’t drag the good name of Bossy down the tragic trail she is tripping on – we need an intervention. Guess you better call Oprah!
Speaking of trails: Mr. Bossy is one hell of a camper if he finds lobsters in the middle of a forest! Props and snaps (in an L formation) for that. Yummm. Lobster. In the woods, over an open campfire, while singing a campfire song (“that’s c-a-m-p-f-i-r-e song”)
You can call me, 'Sir' says
May 8, 2008 at 1:15 pmWell, as long as daddy’s happy, then everyone’s…no, wait, that’s not how it works.
vuboq says
May 8, 2008 at 1:21 pmIs this foreshadowing? Is BOSSY going camping? *w00t!*
Noelle says
May 8, 2008 at 1:21 pmYou’ll always be my only bossy. And she’ll always be my only troubled starlet.
The Domestic Goddess says
May 8, 2008 at 1:27 pmC’mon. She isn’t a crack ho. She’s a cocaine ho. Big difference. She still has her teeth.
It looks like Bossy’s husband is the one who came up with the idea of camping.
Denise Thomas says
May 8, 2008 at 1:27 pmExcept for the yummy picture of Mr. Bossy (adorable, btw), all of Bossy’s phots remind me why outside=bad, inside=good.
Denise Thomas says
May 8, 2008 at 1:28 pmi meant photOs
Allie says
May 8, 2008 at 1:28 pmNoelle linked over here on Twitter. This is hysterical. Your husband looks a lot like mine does while camping.
The Modern Gal says
May 8, 2008 at 1:29 pmHow dare that bitch steal your identity? (Did you read about how she stole some gal’s fur coat?) I threaten to fist fight anyone who claims to be The Modern Gal.
golden says
May 8, 2008 at 1:30 pmWhere the heck do you go hiking and camping and find lobsters? Don’t tell me he hiked with live lobsters in a foil bag in his backpack! maybe you were car camping and then went hiking on some nearby trails?
danielle says
May 8, 2008 at 1:39 pmHey! bossy, just so you know, i just googled you and your stile #1. :O) Danielle
Swirl Girl says
May 8, 2008 at 1:41 pmLobsters while camping? That would make it tolerable. Did you also have drawn butter and wedges of lemon with the little diaper on it?
In my tribe, we don’t camp (outside), we don’t hunt (unless for a good bagel) and we don’t do rustic (unless that means picnicing on plastic plates)
But if you bring the lobster, I’ll bring the chardonnay and, oh hell- we’ll use jelly jars and not real glass!
http://www.swirlgirlspearls.blogspot.com
Melissa says
May 8, 2008 at 1:41 pmThe song will come and go. Bossy is forever.
JamesMommy says
May 8, 2008 at 1:46 pmL.L. isn’t even worth comment. But those pics sure make me miss Maine…..
Jacquie says
May 8, 2008 at 1:48 pmI could share a thing or two about unhappy campers. We have bad air mattress karma, and my arse does not like sleeping on the ground.
You’re the only boss of me, Bossy. Lohan can only dream.
Hotdog says
May 8, 2008 at 1:50 pmHo-han needs to step off! lol
Grandma J says
May 8, 2008 at 1:55 pmJust say the word, Bossy, and I’ll let her have it.
Yeah, I like camping…in a comfy motorhome.
Momo Fali says
May 8, 2008 at 1:57 pmWhy in the world isn’t Bossy a happy camper with lobster and wine available at the campsite? Seems much better than the hot dogs and Miller Lite that we have.
And, I agree with Melissa. Lo-Ho’s song won’t last. NoLoHoFoSho.
Momo Fali says
May 8, 2008 at 1:58 pmAnd, why is Bossy’s husband wearing Amy’s sandals?
Just Jamie says
May 8, 2008 at 1:58 pmI think L.L. meant to say saucy, or wishy-washy, or flossy. She was too busy whoring it up to graduate from elementary school, so don’t blame her for not being able to read the lyrics.
Jenn @ Juggling Life says
May 8, 2008 at 2:00 pmIf Dina Lohan had a little Bossy in her, maybe her daughter wouldn’t be such a trainwreck!
Miss Britt says
May 8, 2008 at 2:04 pmOh now I am PISSED.
If you want to get lucky with “Miss Britt”, you’re going to find yourself on a charter boat in Florida.
That is so misleading. Google needs to recognize.
All Adither says
May 8, 2008 at 2:09 pmHey, those are Amy’s sandals on your husband!
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
May 8, 2008 at 2:12 pmThis is all the more reason to graduate to a pop-up camper like I did. Too, too many unhappy camper stories in the tent.
And that thunderstorm? That’s the same one that follows me anytime I go camping, only when near me it turns into a hurricane. Three times now. I only wish I were kidding.
dlyn says
May 8, 2008 at 2:18 pmUr the bossiest of bossys though – she is but a pretender.
Biddy says
May 8, 2008 at 2:18 pmthat damn crack head…
and um, WHAT ass?
nutty mummy says
May 8, 2008 at 2:19 pmHow dare she?!? That’s like when I discovered the clothing website called Little Nut Tree! How dare they steal ma goooogle maaaaan!
Spank her bum! :o)
Whit says
May 8, 2008 at 2:20 pmThis sentence is longer than the public’s interest in Lohan or her music. You’ll be fine.
rimarama says
May 8, 2008 at 2:24 pmThat little skank is just another flash in the pan. It will totally blow over and meanwhile, maybe you’ll garner some new devotees?
Undomestic Diva says
May 8, 2008 at 2:25 pmNot a happy camper either.
Actually, not a camper. At all.
But my husband? He’d have a grand ol’ time with Mr. Bossy… anything outdoors, he’s there. It’s why we purposely spawned three boys. So he’d had someone to take fly fishing.
Rimshot says
May 8, 2008 at 2:29 pmI see that the certificate was signed by an official at the prestigious “Jack Daniels Distillery”, most honored grantor of blog parcels.
Lori says
May 8, 2008 at 2:29 pmMaybe she could wear your bumpersticker over her hoo ha when she climbs out of cars? Or, wrong girl.
Anyway, I love camping! But, I’d love it even more if there was wine and lobster! We just eat beans and weinies.
Tootsie Farklepants says
May 8, 2008 at 2:33 pmI think Miss Lohan needs a good dose of Operation Constipation.
Liz C says
May 8, 2008 at 2:35 pmHey, wait! That’s what I look like when I’m an unhappy camper! Except I’m probably old enough to be your babysitter. And my hair is short brown/gray. And I wear glasses. But other than that, the look’s exactly the same. Just ask my ex.
Oh yeah, and my ass is much, much bigger. I don’t ever want to hear you complain about your ass again. Ever.
Wendy says
May 8, 2008 at 2:35 pm3 words for you, B: trademark infringement litigation!!
Jen says
May 8, 2008 at 2:46 pmHer AND Kelis! Whatevs, you’re the best Bossy!
Meg says
May 8, 2008 at 2:49 pmIf you’re ending up with lots more hits to your site, maybe I can convince LiLo to write a song entitled “Soup Is Not A Finger Food”!
I think Bossy is unhappy in that first picture because that bottle of wine is damn near empty.
Lastly, may I say that “roughing it” for me means staying at the Motel Six instead of the Sheraton.
andrea says
May 8, 2008 at 2:51 pmDamn you Lohan!! Keep away from Bossy’s stuff!
Is that camping in Vermont because awwww…Vermont.
Foolery says
May 8, 2008 at 2:55 pmWhat a coincidence. When you Google/I feel lucky FOOLERY . . .
. . . you get Lindsey LoHigh.
Cheri says
May 8, 2008 at 3:03 pmBut Bossy, what about Kathie Lee? One Kathie Lee is worse than ten Lindsay Lohans.
Cheri says
May 8, 2008 at 3:04 pmP.S. What is this “camping” thing you’re posting about? Explain camping.
MommyTime says
May 8, 2008 at 3:05 pmBossy’s husband may look happy in that last photo, but the lobster? Not so much. I don’t think lobsters like camping.
I see two roads here: high road = ignore LL and she’ll go away long before you do; Lo road = sue her for brand infringement. But to be really (Li)Lo about it, you’ll have to be very drunk throughout most of the suit, and have several relapses of something (anything will do), and honestly, that sounds like just so much WORK.
Melanie at Beanpaste says
May 8, 2008 at 3:10 pmBOSSY: All of the boss, none of the orange. (And 99% cocaine-free!)
amy says
May 8, 2008 at 3:10 pmYeah – I heard the song and all about it on Kidd Kraddick on the way to work this morning. I IMMEDIATELY thought of you and wondered if you had heard and what your thoughts were. The song isn’t that bad. Too bad Lilo’s the one singing it though. Otherwise you could adopt it as your theme song!
moo says
May 8, 2008 at 3:15 pm::giggle::
Ree (the Other one) says
May 8, 2008 at 3:23 pmBossy is way taller than Lindsay. And I bet Bossy sings better than Lindsay.
Bossy can so take Lindsay.
IThought says
May 8, 2008 at 3:55 pmI hate to be the voice of reason here(I am so rarely the voice of reason.) From a letigious point of view, I’m not sure you can trademark an adjective. In fact, it is more likely to work in reverse where brands become recognizable as common words.
Think “Martinizing”.
IThought says
May 8, 2008 at 3:56 pmI hate to be the voice of reason here(I am so rarely the voice of reason.) From a letigeous point of view, I’m not sure you can trademark an adjective. In fact, it is more likely to work in reverse where brands become recognizable as common words.
Think “Martinizing”.
Roz says
May 8, 2008 at 4:02 pm“Kids! Grab your books! Time to go camping!
Hee hee. BOSSY’S kids are adorable bookworms.
notjustbarbra says
May 8, 2008 at 4:17 pmI love that your deed is from Jack Daniel Distillery!!
And I love that picture of the two kids… I am excited to see my kids at those ages, hanging out together like buds.
Avitable says
May 8, 2008 at 4:25 pmI’m never a happy camper.
amber lee peace says
May 8, 2008 at 4:32 pmI’ve been getting lots of hits because people are looking up “amber lee” who I found out is some chick some governer recently slept with, right?
Madness says
May 8, 2008 at 4:34 pmMadness spent 2 years in a “camp” for bad girls. Madness can chop down trees and build tents and piss in a hole in the ground. Madness doesnt do camping anymore. period. Oh.. and ya.. Lindsay Lohan IS a crack ho! Oh I love it!
Honest to YaYa says
May 8, 2008 at 4:37 pmBossy camping…looks like a Survivor show…LOL!
I don’t like camping either…I’ll never never never go again!!?
Chicky Chicky Baby says
May 8, 2008 at 4:39 pmDon’t sweat it, baby. It’s not like her song is going anywhere. It’s sung by Lindsay Lohan, fer chrissake.
Di says
May 8, 2008 at 5:19 pmYou said the words were “a little bossy” so clearly she is acknowledging your superiority over her and herself as a pale replica of the real Bossy.
heart shaped hedges says
May 8, 2008 at 5:22 pmBY GEORGE (or by bossy) IVE FIGURED IT OUT!!
I now know how to get some traffic at my site, increasing my readership beyond my mother and my aunt,,,,
I WILL CREATE A NAME THAT IS ALREADY POPULAR…SOMETHING OFT GOOGLED….
like….the Jenna Jameson Show (what a disappointment THAT will be for some internet searchers…)
or…HANNA MONTANA (spelled wrong, so no trade mark infringement, right?)
If I can add a few more thousand readers, maybe I can get away with that *special idea* (again, that Bossy inspired, when we were on the patio in Laguna Beach….)
You’re the best (and only) Bossy!
Audubon Ron says
May 8, 2008 at 5:24 pmBossy, I’m gonna tell you like I tell Faye Dunaway. Faye is my favorite actress. Has been, is now, always will be, (peer-re-yud.) I always tell her when I see her on TV or in the movies (cuz truth is I never met her, don’t know her, and she couldn’t pick me out of crowd if she had to) but I always say, “Faye babe, never change.”
Bossy babe, never change!
James Brown: HHHHHey, get on up! HHHHey, up on one leg!
peppermint T says
May 8, 2008 at 5:26 pmBossy will always be first in my Google search results.
reen says
May 8, 2008 at 5:35 pmThat lobster is most certainly not a happy camper.
This must be in Maine. Ah, I miss lobster and the smell of evergreens!
And yeah, that song will blip out much faster than it can affect your royal google status. Psshhht.
ms ellie says
May 8, 2008 at 5:49 pmHey!
That lobster-cooking happy camper dude is WEARING AMY’s SHOES!
So much for the GRLLZ.
VDog says
May 8, 2008 at 5:55 pmYou should totally sue LiLo for copyright infringement. Totally.
Camping looks FUN! No wonder I haven’t done it in 10 years.
bev says
May 8, 2008 at 6:03 pmMy how your little campers have grown…(tear in the eye…)peace…
Fairly Odd Mother says
May 8, 2008 at 6:28 pmYes, I’m still trying to figure out where one hikes and finds lobsters. Bossy has all the luck.
Surcie says
May 8, 2008 at 6:41 pmBossy is much cuter than Lo Ho. With better hairs.
Mr Farty says
May 8, 2008 at 6:45 pmLindsay who? Meh.
That is all.
mommypie says
May 8, 2008 at 7:57 pmFight, fight, outta sight! Maybe you can beat her to the punch (ha) and release a Bossy spoof video first!
Maria R says
May 8, 2008 at 7:58 pmI found you googling lobster. Or blobster (lobster shown on a blog)….oddly bossy’s husband looks like he cooks lobster the same way maria’s husband does. maria loves lobster like this, but hates, hates, the clean up as much as she hates lindsey lohan.
It’s fun to talk in the third person.
Manic Mommy says
May 8, 2008 at 8:42 pmBossy made it through the camp stove salad incident thanks to a little help from the camping essential – alcohol in the foreground.
I’ve never seen anyone actually provide proof of ‘unhappy campers.’ Yet another reason I worship at your altar.
Adorable Girlfriend says
May 8, 2008 at 8:46 pmI want lobster!
Lindsey has nothing on you, baby!
c says
May 8, 2008 at 8:49 pmHow does Bossy stay so thin?????
annie says
May 8, 2008 at 9:13 pmI don’t get it, shouldn’t Lindsay’s new song be “I’m a little slutty”?
Beth from The Funny Farm says
May 8, 2008 at 9:57 pmWow. I just looked at the lobster photo. Then I turned to my husband and said “You SUCK as a camp cook. This guy is cooking LOBSTER! I want lobster at my next horse show.”
He said he would try…
**laughing!**
Kelley says
May 8, 2008 at 10:06 pmI believe that Ms Lohan got confused. She said ‘Bossy’ when in fact she meant ‘whiny little ho sans underwear’ I can see how she was confused… I mean Britney sang about how people were taking photos of her derierre.. that ain’t your derierre honey!
Imaginina says
May 8, 2008 at 10:08 pmIf Bossy doesn’t tell anyone about LL, nobody will know. Does she selll more than 10 CDs??
Susan says
May 8, 2008 at 10:24 pmThe reason you weren’t a happy camper is because you were eating SALAD while CAMPING. Don’t you know that’s against the law? All healthy eating is to go by the wayside, my friend; camping’s all about non-stop potato chips, beer, and… was there something else?
Anniemom says
May 8, 2008 at 10:46 pmLast time we camped I think I brushed my teeth with a bar of soap. Desperate times call for… ah well. Lobster? I’m there. Oh, and Ho-han just needs to hug it out and let it go.
Phoenix says
May 8, 2008 at 11:10 pmWell I guess someone had to like camping.
Becky says
May 8, 2008 at 11:14 pmYou may be the funniest person I’ve ever met. And you know what? That, my dear is the highest compliment Aunt Becky dishes out.
Reese says
May 8, 2008 at 11:24 pmBUT Bossy is still a Pretty Camper even when Unhappy.
Leaf, probably... says
May 8, 2008 at 11:36 pmYou know that thing where mothers forget how painful childbirth is, and then decide to have one more? That’s what I’m like with camping.
I forget all the crying, and the tent, and the bug bites, and the cold, and the dirt that gets everywhere. And then I beg and plead to be taken cmping again…
cat says
May 8, 2008 at 11:37 pmDear Bossy, not to worry. Lohan is #10 on the Google-meter after NHL guy named Mike Bossy. And after this skanky lady: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bossy
So dear, your place on the shelf, the top of the heap is intact! You are still NUMERO UNO!!!! (you always are in our book, right guys?)
Sasha says
May 8, 2008 at 11:54 pmMy first reaction when the radio voice told me about the single “Bossy” was, “Hot dammit! She got herself a theme song, like “Friends” and now there will be an IAMBOSSY soundtrack and I wonder if the second single on it will be Rhianna singing…
waait for iiiit…..
Stella
ella
ella
ella
Jason says
May 9, 2008 at 12:25 amOnce again, Bossy has rolled me.
There would never be an instance when Jason would look like a happy camper. Ever. Unless it involved a Hyatt.
qt says
May 9, 2008 at 1:07 amOh, how I know that feeling of “unhappy camper”….this was great.
Camille says
May 9, 2008 at 1:57 amDadgummit, Lindsay Lohan. She has a lot of nerve, you know? Of course you know. You just wrote about it. Anyway, your brand of Bossy™ is better.
Dani says
May 9, 2008 at 1:59 amWell isn’t she a rude little skank then!
Beth says
May 9, 2008 at 4:52 amOh, I hates camping, but having a hot Mr. Bossy type along would make the whole thing quite tolerable. ;^)
Manager Mom says
May 9, 2008 at 6:03 amThat’s pretty frigging cool about the “I’m feeling lucky” thing.
Laura says
May 9, 2008 at 9:02 amBossy’s hub can go fishin with my hub. Then you and I can go get a beer and wave g’bye as they float out to sea.
Oh, and we’ll send the teenagers along with ’em!
Optimist says
May 9, 2008 at 9:33 amOMG! I want to go camping with you! (after viewing delish looking salad, wine and lobster). Nice Tent!
xoxo The Assistant Scoutmaster in Houston
Howard says
May 9, 2008 at 9:34 amCan you get some pictures of your daughter holding your head up over the toilet so you don’t drown in your own puke after a night of coke? That’d be fun.
BTW, where is the Kelis love? She had a great song called “Bossy” off her last album. You should use it as your theme song actually.
Emily says
May 9, 2008 at 9:56 amCan MR Bossy take my husband camping? I’ll gladly hang out with Mrs Bossy, kids and dogs and drink wine. Well – maybe not the kids and dogs…
Brando says
May 9, 2008 at 10:14 am40 Gigs and a Mule?
Love the post it and the certificate. The the lobster photo is perfect.
The Mom Bomb says
May 9, 2008 at 10:49 amLohan just stole some chick’s mink coat (read all about it in the NY POST!) Now she’s stolen your good name. The pilfering skank must be stopped.
Hope you caught the ‘Baracky’ video on YouTube.
Ok, Where Was I? says
May 9, 2008 at 12:13 pmI saw another “Bossy” last night on tv. There’s some reality show about a former football player and his family. Their baby girl is “bossy.”
steph says
May 9, 2008 at 1:44 pmUnhappy but hott whilst making that salad.
whall says
May 9, 2008 at 4:35 pmThis is hilarious. And bossy.
Greta says
May 9, 2008 at 5:02 pmEr…um…ok…but am I the only one seeing ads for mail order brides along the sidebar? Yes? Er…um…never mind.
Sparx says
May 9, 2008 at 5:33 pm…and not one of those thousands of hits dared to leave a comment… man.
HRH says
May 9, 2008 at 9:31 pmYou ARE bossy. really bossy.
magpie says
May 9, 2008 at 9:37 pmSue the bastards!
amyinbc says
May 10, 2008 at 10:40 pmBossy’s husband looks really yummy and reader wonders why Bossy strayed and married other men on her recent road trip.
Kyran says
May 10, 2008 at 11:02 pmme! I am a happy camper! my husband is not. we could swap?
moosh in indy. says
May 11, 2008 at 12:36 amI’ve decided I can be a happy camper only if someone else is doing all the camping.
Al_Pal says
May 11, 2008 at 5:34 amLove the camping photos! Most of my camping happens at festivals. We graduated to a camper shell on a pickup to keep the wind and cold out, and are much happier than with the tent. Hooray.
Festivals we have to fly to still require tents, however. Last year was our first. We are planning to visit another one this year. Woot.
& yeah… “real” camping is best done at a nice campground with flush toilets in walking distance.
You’re still #1~!
Kit says
May 11, 2008 at 10:20 pmYou’d be hard-pressed to find my husband unhappy while camping, ever. But truth-be-told, I’m a happy camper too.
Love the unhappy pics, though!! LOL!
Mama Bear says
May 12, 2008 at 6:57 amBossy’s husband looks like a happy camper – that is, until he takes his first bite of rubber band flavored lobster. Unless he just posed for that photo and truly is savvy enough to know that you have to remove the bands from the claws or risk rubber band flava!
Lindsay Lohan has nothing on Bossy.