Hi Steve. Jobs. Steve Jobs. You may remember Bossy from her January 2008 pitch for a free MacBook Air. Well, you’ll be happy to learn, in the intervening months, Bossy purchased her own laptop, a MacBook Pro, using her very own money she earned painting at great peril to her lungs and memory. Also, painting is bad for her memory.
But Steve? Jobs? Steve Jobs? Bossy has been researching the new iPhone 3G S, and here are just a few of the reasons you should consider giving Bossy one of her own.
- This is Bossy’s current cell phone:
Bossy purchased her cell phone in 2002, and yes Bossy realizes this is years before they were actually manufacturing cell phones. The numbers have been rubbed off her keys and she no longer remembers how to retrieve messages and the phone doesn’t take pictures or tell her how to get places — it’s just a metal carcass with a salsa ringtone.
- The new iPhone 3G S is faster! How much faster? According to the advertising, 2x faster! Bossy doesn’t know what this two-ex refers to, or two-ex faster than what, but faster is always better. Except when slower is better.
- The new iPhone 3G S allows you to take videos and photos, and when Bossy says you she means her, Bossy!
- The new iPhone 3G S features a landscape keyboard!
- The new iPhone 3G S allows you to search for stuff! This could really come in handy the next time Bossy leaves the car keys in her dungaree jacket pocket because just who could remember Bossy even wore her dungaree jacket that night, anyway?
- The new iPhone 3G S has a stock-checking feature. And Bossy loves stocks! Especially those prepared with potatoes, beets, fennel, garlic, onions, and parsley.
In closing, and by the way, can Bossy call you Steve? Jobs? Steve Jobs? Bossy thinks providing her with a free iPhone 3G S would be 2Gr8 4U.
Also, you don’t actually have to talk on an iPhone, do you?