Hi Steve. Jobs. Steve Jobs. You may remember Bossy from her January 2008 pitch for a free MacBook Air. Well, you’ll be happy to learn, in the intervening months, Bossy purchased her own laptop, a MacBook Pro, using her very own money she earned painting at great peril to her lungs and memory. Also, painting is bad for her memory.
But Steve? Jobs? Steve Jobs? Bossy has been researching the new iPhone 3G S, and here are just a few of the reasons you should consider giving Bossy one of her own.
- This is Bossy’s current cell phone:
Bossy purchased her cell phone in 2002, and yes Bossy realizes this is years before they were actually manufacturing cell phones. The numbers have been rubbed off her keys and she no longer remembers how to retrieve messages and the phone doesn’t take pictures or tell her how to get places — it’s just a metal carcass with a salsa ringtone.
- The new iPhone 3G S is faster! How much faster? According to the advertising, 2x faster! Bossy doesn’t know what this two-ex refers to, or two-ex faster than what, but faster is always better. Except when slower is better.
- The new iPhone 3G S allows you to take videos and photos, and when Bossy says you she means her, Bossy!
- The new iPhone 3G S features a landscape keyboard!
- The new iPhone 3G S allows you to search for stuff! This could really come in handy the next time Bossy leaves the car keys in her dungaree jacket pocket because just who could remember Bossy even wore her dungaree jacket that night, anyway?
- The new iPhone 3G S has a stock-checking feature. And Bossy loves stocks! Especially those prepared with potatoes, beets, fennel, garlic, onions, and parsley.
In closing, and by the way, can Bossy call you Steve? Jobs? Steve Jobs? Bossy thinks providing her with a free iPhone 3G S would be 2Gr8 4U.
Also, you don’t actually have to talk on an iPhone, do you?
Read about the new iPhone features here, and then read here about how the slightly less endowed iPhone is now selling for only $99.
cynthiagirl saysJune 11, 2009 at 11:39 am
I hate it when I finally get the latest technology and then they right away come out with the even more latest technology, and it’s also then alot cheaper, too. Makes me feel like I will never catch up. Still, I love my iPhone. Even though it’s practically obsolete anymore.
corrie saysJune 11, 2009 at 11:46 am
I would love the new iPhone too~ but I go a little crazy just knowing a better technology is probably going to hit the market tomorrow and *poof* newer better features!
bossy's poor friend amy saysJune 11, 2009 at 12:09 pm
the iPhone is fantastic – however, it requires you changing cellphone providers and it is SUPER DUPER expensive – bossy’s friend amy’s friend reena has an iPhone and spends close to $150 per month for it… that’s waaaayyy too much money for this poverty girl…
ps. i’m thinking of upgrading to the crackberry.
NaysWay saysJune 11, 2009 at 12:10 pm
You make me laugh so hard! I have Apple envy, too, so I’m with you. Ugh, just wish my pockets were there. Dear iPhone – I know they’re crappy, but please come to T-Mobile! Please!
MariaV saysJune 11, 2009 at 12:21 pm
Nice pitch, Bossy.
7. “To reach out to seniors.” Bossy will need a fast phone to call, where call equals text because Bossy doesn’t talk on any phone, someone to let them know she has fallen and can’t get up.
Sorry, I couldn’t resist. I rarely talk on my iPhone because I hate telephones.
Joie saysJune 11, 2009 at 12:43 pm
Would you give me a cyber smack if I told you mine is pre-ordered and will be waiting at the Apple store next Friday?
It’s for work, though, yeah….for work 😉
elembee123 saysJune 11, 2009 at 12:51 pm
If Bossy wants to stay w/ Verizon, she may want to consider the Blackberry Storm.
I was lusting after the iPhone, but refused to compromise w/ crappy (for my area) service from AT&T. Whenever anyone else’s phone didn’t work (on another provider), they always begged to use my former dino-phone because my phone always had service.
So I waited, and waited, and waited…and the lusting? It was fierce!
But BUT! Patience paid off! Verizon and Blackberry/RIM finally got their pre-nups worked out and got hitched and I got my Storm and I LOVE LOVE LOVE it!!!
True, it doesn’t have as many apps (yet – it’s catching up quickly!) as the iPhone, but it has the 3G wireless network, so you always have internet access – whereas phones w/ wifi have to depend on being in a neck of the woods w/ a wifi signal.
And because I can’t squeeze in any more parenthetical statements…I’ll just say…check out the Storm! You might qualify for a really good upgrade which equals lower price!
*done hijacking comments now*
katie saysJune 11, 2009 at 1:15 pm
Bossy, did you know that you can upgrade an older iphone with software to do all (mostly) of the things the new iphone will do? And also, my best friend has a CRAPberry and it’s total crap and I would not advocate anyone getting one of those things. Soooo…anyway, you could get one of those $99 iphones and then on June 17th update it with the new software and you will be good to go!
Audubon Ron saysJune 11, 2009 at 1:23 pm
Dear Steve. Hey man, how’s it hang’in?
Listen, not sure if you recall but I use to work a few streets down from where you and that other guy created the first PC in Cupertino. I was there doode – when it happened! I was right there. Then I lived across the freeway from your factory in Elk Grove. I bought a IIC man. I’m dedicated.
Now this Bossy, she’s cool and whatnot, but hey man, she played the sex card right out of the shoot. She went all, you’re handsome and stuff. That’s just so un-pro. I wouldn’t give a free top of the line 3G S to her first, give it to me man. We tight! Buddy.
kate saysJune 11, 2009 at 1:28 pm
May I have your awesome pink paper phone when Steve? Jobs? Steve Jobs gives you the new two-ex faster iPhone?
Jamie saysJune 11, 2009 at 1:38 pm
yeah, it’s cool and all except for the 2 year ridiculously expensive contract and the fact that the apple aps take over your computer…unless you already have an apple (which i don’t, and i won’t ever get one) and you are used to it…
Momo Fali saysJune 11, 2009 at 1:44 pm
You know what? I’m perfectly content with my Blackberry. She’s a little flat-chested, but that’s okay.
vuboq saysJune 11, 2009 at 2:16 pm
you could try doing the #squarespace contest on Twitter. they’re giving away an iPhone a day (see http://www.squarespace.com) for details. hm. I sound like an advertisement.
Well Read Hostess saysJune 11, 2009 at 3:04 pm
I have taken the other approach to getting an iphone for free just for being me: the HARD TO GET approach. I am pretending like I don’t want one at all, la la la, why would I? Who cares? It’s just a phone, la la la. I sort of agree with Bossy’s friend Amy about getting a crackberry even though an iphone is so so so much cooler and pretty and sharp and does cool things and makes you feel like a rockstar, but NONE OF THAT MATTERS because I. Don’t. Care.
See how hard to get I am?
Do you think it’s working?
martha saysJune 11, 2009 at 3:25 pm
Ha! I thought you were doing a commercial for I Phone, I love my BB Curve, but am still drawn to the Iphone apps, but until my job pays for it I will stay with my BB
Heather saysJune 11, 2009 at 3:55 pm
Having Internet access everywhere rocks with an iPhone, but a monthly charge to access it bites. Since Bossy hates talking on her phone she may want to consider an iPod Touch. It needs wifi and may not be a phone, but you can get all the apps and surf the net, send messages etc. from it. I am reading this and commenting from my iPod right now! And with no monthly fee. And you can watch movies on it and do everything else with it while keeping your cheaper phone. Is it wrong that I may love this iPod more than my children?
dexter saysJune 11, 2009 at 4:00 pm
Bossy, if you get a new iphone, it still wont work if you dont turn it on!!!!! Do you know what IM saying???????
natalie saysJune 11, 2009 at 4:24 pm
i’m going to have to get a new phone soon. i love my little flip phone with no special features, but my job is changing and it will be necessary to have a gps and some note taking stuff on my phone. or at least with me. that iphone looks like it might be just thing thing.
joeinvegas saysJune 11, 2009 at 4:26 pm
Hmm, perhaps we could work out a deal there . . Oh, wait, you didn’t even stop in Vegas on your grand tour, forget it, hit up Steve again.
If he won’t give it to you get one on your own, they are nice. I’ve had my plain 3g Iphone for almost a year, up to four screens full of aps (most free) and love it.
Reeb saysJune 11, 2009 at 4:30 pm
I thought your daughter drew you a newer model cell phone than that pink one, with more features. Like “men”. But maybe that was her own personal phone so no wonder you’re filled with phone-envy.
Amber Star saysJune 11, 2009 at 6:58 pm
I got a newer phone, but haven’t figured it out yet. Should have kept the old one that I actually knew how to use. We donated the old phones to The Women’s Shelter. They can use it when they go back to their abuser to call 911. It doesn’t have to have a contract.
hana saysJune 11, 2009 at 10:34 pm
1. Do you know anyone in your vicinity that has an iPhone? I’d get their advice, because when it comes down to it, if it can’t get a signal off the network (which mine cannot some times & I live in a big city), it’s only good for keeping papers from blowing away. 2x of being in a no signal area is still no signal area!
2. Did you hear about the “Buy a computer for college, get a free iPod Touch?” It’s a step in the right direction and perhaps son of Bossy would be interested…
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Happily Employed Susan saysJune 11, 2009 at 11:37 pm
dobes saysJune 12, 2009 at 1:02 am
Since Bossy is way beautiful, I made a face at that Senior part — until Bossy said ‘dungaree’ and now I might believe the Senior part. But a BEAUTIFUL Senior, for sure.
dobes saysJune 12, 2009 at 1:08 am
PS. I have an iPhone 3G, which is absolutely great. The thing is, though – I live in Europe and don’t have to deal with AT&T, so my 3G internet service is fast and my monthly bill is about 50-75 dollars depending on international calls. Eat your heart out, Bossy!
Michele saysJune 12, 2009 at 5:02 am
I love my I-phone! Without it I would never read Bossy because I couldn’t fight the kids for the computer. Also it is the only carrier that works for
Me at the home or office. The other two worked at one or the other. I pod touches are the same thing withoout the phone. My kids can text me on theirs with wifi and an app.
Right now if I had to choose between grouchy final studying 15 year old or iPhone, I’d pick the phone.
Camille saysJune 12, 2009 at 8:59 am
I had no idea BOSSY was on such a close, personal level with Steve Jobs. Maybe when he’s personally delivering your brand new iPhone BOSSY could throw in a good word for me? Maybe? kthanks.
Gail saysJune 12, 2009 at 11:49 am
I love that Bossy used the term “dungaree jacket!”
iPhone, Crackberry, etc + monthly charges = way too much money in my book.
I have a basic Nokia flip phone. I even had to beg them to find me one without a camera – I don’t need all that marlarky to make a phone call!
Jean saysJune 15, 2009 at 8:04 am
Chiming in a little late here, but … dungaree…. HAHAHAHA!
Love that word. That’s what blue jeans were back in the dark ages when I was a kid. We always had to pack a pair of dungarees when we went to the lake, in case we went hiking in the woods. We didn’t have jeans. Love it.
I have nothing to contribute about the phone. I am so far back wrt cell phones, I might as well be using a rotary phone. Good luck.
foolery saysJune 17, 2009 at 1:29 pm
“Also, painting is bad for her memory.”
Did you know you can buy a memory upgrade online? Not necessarily from Steve. Jobs. Steve Jobs. But online.
Laurie “Still Without a Cell Phone For 43 Years And Counting” LaGrone