Here’s how it went: One day before Bossy left on her (No) Book Tour, in the year 1693, Bossy submitted the above dress design to the catalogue clothing company, Shabby Apple, because they were holding a contest for the best dress design, but surprisingly Bossy didn’t win.
Equally surprising was the fact that one of the co-owners of Shabby Apple found Bossy’s online entry and thought it was a riot.
And then Bossy and the co-owner of Shabby Apple exchanged a few emails and became best friends forever. The end.
This wasn’t Bossy’s first experience with Shabby Apple — in fact one of Bossy’s favorite dresses is from Shabby Apple and is the kind of dress Bossy wears out to dinner and then promptly takes camping so she can sit in piles of melted marshmallows. And the dress still looks good.
So Bossy and the co-owner of Shabby Apple cooked up an idea to send Bossy on her 12,000-mile six-week (No) Book Tour with the Shabby Apple dress of her choosing. So Bossy perused the Shabby Apple website in order to select a dress, which is short for Bossy emailed the Delightful One every other minute for her opinion:
After much agonizing, Bossy and the Delightful One finally selected this dress:
And Bossy could hardly wait to stand in the desert like that! So fast forward to Bossy’s (No) Book Tour, which is coincidentally where we find Bossy this very day! Bossy had one criteria when packing for her road trip, which was this: the item needed to be able to roll up in a ball for days on end and still be passable.
Case in point: yesterday. Bossy spent all day working in an internet cafe along the Pacific Coast of California.
When Bossy was finished working she was so sleepy as to be rendered cross-eyed, and so Bossy and (Harrison) Ford navigated to a safe spot so Bossy could climb into the backseat and take a nap:
And out Bossy went like a light, where light equals the light sleep Bossy can’t seem to shed in order to fall into the deep sleep she so desperately needs. When Bossy woke up, which was only a handful of minutes before that evening’s (No) Book Tour meet-up in fancy Orange County, she was all:
What was more incriminating than the eye bags Bossy can tuck in her boyfriend jeans is the fact that Bossy had been wearing the same black tank top for two days. Two days plus the previous 14 days.
And so Bossy climbed into the front seat and went about the business of getting herself ready for the meet-up, where business equals Bossy should have one instead of this blogging crappola:
You are looking at Bossy’s dress laid out on her steering wheel while Bossy waited for the perfectly discreet time to shed her tank top and throw on the dress, which had been shoved in the bottom of her airless suitcase for days on end. And speaking of waiting for the perfectly discreet time, it’s amazing how someone can define that series of words after a certain someone has been living in their car for the past two and a half weeks.
After Bossy slipped on the dress and kicked off her Converse sneakers and applied some eyeliner, she was ready to go meet her Orange County council:
So. In no time Bossy was inside a very expensive restaurant not ordering an expensive entree while she cavorting with her awesome council, like Neil, Yvonne, Bossy’s host Kim, Suzanne, Tami, Beckey, and Kristen, with a special shout out to Meredith. It was really fun and Bossy loves you all from the bottom of her tired heart.
And Bossy can’t say enough about her dress and the shape it’s in after the punishing way it’s been kept — and it’s not the first time Bossy has worn the dress on her trip:
So thank you, Shabby Apple hold the shabby. If you’re into well-made classic dresses cut in the most flattering way and seamlessly constructed even after spending time in the bottom of an airless suitcase, consider a Shabby Apple dress for yourself! Neil Kramer, Bossy is looking at you.