It’s been three years since Tom Cruise jumped on Oprah’s sofa and Bossy discovered he was actually King Tut. This past Friday, the actor agreed to an Oprah interview in his Telluride home in order to
appear likeable celebrate the twenty-fifth anniversary of his acting career.
First Oprah drove up a steep Colorado mountain and through the stand of Aspen trees that line the Cruise driveway:
And before Oprah was even out of her car, she was all, “Oh my gah the stunning view!”
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes were already in their driveway to greet Oprah—and about their fantastic Telluride view, Tom and Katie were all, “Right?”
Next Katie said her goodbyes in order to take care of important business, and that important business was getting lost while her husband gave the interview, because Katie is so much more than just Tom’s wife, and don’t you forget it. But on her way out the door, Katie called out, “I love you!” Twice.
In Katie’s absence, Tom decided to give Oprah a tour of his home, and the first stop was their very ordinary, fifteen million dollar kitchen:
And then with swelling pride, Tom Cruise walked Oprah past a colorful piece of framed art painted by his oldest daughter,
Not Suri Isabella:
And then finally Oprah and Tom sat down in Tom’s living room and Oprah got right into it, “Tom, what about the couch incident?”
And Tom was all, “Yeah, about that…”
And then Oprah asked Tom about his thoughts on post-partum depression and the comments he made against Brooke Shields, and his YouTube Scientology preaching, and the rumor that Tom isn’t Suri’s biological father, and his custody agreement with Nicole, and his relationship with the new in-laws:
And then Oprah talked about how relaxed Tom and Katie’s house seemed, and how Oprah was comfortable enough to interview with bare feet:
And then Oprah commented about how relaxed Tom Cruise was, and the fact that she had never seen Tom Cruise that darn relaxed in all his life:
And then Tom put Oprah on the back of a snowmobile and took her to a secret spot with an amazing vista, and Oprah took it all in and then turned to Tom and said, “I deeply wish for you all of the peace that this view can bring.”